This is the start of a drabble series. It will not be a real story. It is simply a collection of dribbles of when I feel the need to jump into Leo's head. Which, honestly, is quite often. I hope you enjoy this first entry.

Dear Diary,

Have you ever not known who you are? Not a lack of knowing your name, but knowing who you are. I know my name is Leonardo, but, who is Leonardo, really? According to Raph, I'm a pain in the shell, a bossy leader, and Fearless. According to Donnie, I'm a stubborn leader, OCD, and nosy. According to Mikey, I'm a stick in the mud, overprotective, and a horrible cook. According to Sensei, I'm a leader, a pupil of ninjitsu, and responsible.

So what is it? Some of them? All of them? None of them, even? If so, then who am I? Who is Leonardo?

I hope that in these pages, I may be able to find him.

I'd like to think I'm a leader. It's a title that's both an honor and a burden. It touches me that my sensei believes I'm capable of such a huge responsibility, but sometimes, it feels like the weight of that responsibility is going to crush me, and I wish Sensei had never given me the rank.

I know I am overprotective. I've always been, but I've grown even more so since becoming leader. Perhaps because I feel the wrath of every cut and bruise my brother's obtain. As leader, I'm responsible for keeping them safe, so when I fail, it hits me hard. So I wish to avoid them getting hurt. Is that a crime? Same with OCD and my "nosiness". It all stems from wanting to keep my brothers safe. I hate when things spiral out of my control. When that happens, my brother's get hurt. I need control in my life, to know I'm in charge and can steer my brother's and I. That I can control it all and keep them safe. A part of me knows I cannot control life itself. But another part of me continues to try in vain.

I feel like I've begun to ramble, but I guess that's okay. This is my diary. I can say whatever I wish to, because I am the only person who will ever see it. So I can ramble all I want to.

My brother's nickname for me is Fearless. Every time I hear it, I both laugh and cry on the inside. The nickname is so laughable to me. I am not fearless. I would bet I'm the most fearful of us all. I stress constantly, and fear for my brother's health and life every moment of my life. How can someone like me be fearless? I cry inside as well, because I feel so guilty my brother's seem to think of me as fearless. I feel I have portrayed the image of a hero who will always be able to stay cool and laugh in the face of danger. That is so far from the truth, and my brother's may have to find that out someday, and it makes me feel like I have let them down by not living up to my legacy as the Fearless Leader. So Fearless? Nothing could be less true.

I believe that I am overprotective, and OCD, and I hope I am a leader. But, are those titles and labels really me? Is that all I am? A control freak and overprotective leader? Is that all there is to Leonardo?

Who is Leonardo? Who am I? According to me . . .

I am the eldest brother (yet another label). I love my family, and would die to keep them safe. I hate to cook, and suck at it anyway. I like to read, to write, to draw and paint, and listen to music. I love the feeling of cool air against my skin as I run across rooftops. I have a fear of failing my family, and I'm not too comfortable with being in photos. My favorite color is blue, and after that, black. I secretly love the Harry Potter movies and books.

Is that who I am? A reader, writer, painter, runner, failing-fearer, Harry Potter-lover?

I don't know. I don't know who I am. What's makes a person them, anyway? Their personality? Their likes and dislikes? Their attitude? Their past? Or do all of them make a person?

I don't know who I am. Maybe one day, I can look back at this and answer this question. Or maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll find the answer in these pages of honesty. I would like that.

Sayonara for now, my companion.

- Leonardo