She was nine years old.
James was peacefully doing her homework in her bedroom. She could hear Frank and Sam having an argument downstairs. They usually stopped a few minutes later but this one was lasting more than half an hour, and the yelling and cursing was getting louder and louder with each minute. She was getting worried. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud 'SMACK', followed soon by the sound of someone running upstairs and a door being violently closed. James flinched at the explosion-like sound and wondered if Sam had actually broken the door...again. With a sigh, the girl closed her book and stood up, heading her brother's room. Homework could wait, her big brother needed her.
Frank always hit Sam like a warning. He would smack his butt or pull his ear, stuff like that. The problem was when Frank got drunk, then he would hurt Sam for real. He would beat him so bad, he'll have to drive him to the hospital. Sometimes, Frank would try to hit her too but Sam would always step in front of her take all the blows and remind him that he doesn't hit girls. It was a very old fashioned thought in her opinion, but it kept her safe. This time she could tell that Frank's blow was meant to hurt.
She stood in front of Sam's door a few seconds, staring at the cracks of the wood. Great. James sighed for a second time. She could hear drawers opening and closing, zippers going up and down. Damn, this time Frank had crossed the line, Sam was beyond mad.
"Sam?" she called her brother. The noise stopped. "It's me. Please, let me in"
"Wait a minute." he answered, his voice hoarse and deep. She knew that kind of voice, he only made it when he was upset, which was not very often. The noise continued.
So she waited. One minute, two minutes….it was only after the third minute when the noise was stopped and the door was finally opened. A hand grabbed her forearm and pulled her inside before locking the door again.
Then, Sam hugged her, his fingers clenching her lose T-Shirt. He was crying, she could feel his tears dropping on the top of her head. Why was he crying? Sam never cried and the only time he did was when their mom died and left them with Frank. It could not be the argument, Frank's words stopped hurting him long ago. Maybe it was the hit? Nope, from what she had seen, he only had a ratter big -yellowish and purplish- spot on his face so no, he wasn't crying because of the pain.
She hugged her brother back and held him tight until he stopped shaking, all while trying to figure why was he crying. Two minutes later, they broke the hug. A quick look to his room made her understand. The drawers and the closet were open but empty and a full backpack was lying on his bed.
Sam was leaving.
Her eyes widened in fear. "No." she whispered and shook her head. "You can't!" James backed away from her brother, her eyes filling with tears. She hated crying, but her brother was the only goddamned person who cared about her and he was leaving her alone…and worse, with Frank. "Sammy, please don't!"
Sam passed a hand through his hair and sighed. "Jim, please." He begged, his tone full of anguish. "I-I have to leave, Jimmy. I just can't stay here anymore, Frank kicked me out and –believe me- he meant it this time." He crouched in front of her and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Please, you have to understand. I have no future here. I-I don't belong here Jimmy! I cannot be a Kirk here."
James sniffled. "You can be a Kirk anywhere." She stated in hopes to make Sam change his mind.
He snorted "I'm not like you, Jimmy" his expression went serious again "I know he'll never hurt you, he doesn't hit girls. You'll have a place to stay, food and education. I can't offer that to you if I take you with me. Do you understand that?"
She nodded and bit her lower lip, two lonely tears escaping from her eyes "I'll miss you, Sam." She said, her voice braking midsentence.
Her brother pulled her into a hug. "I'll miss you too, lil sis." They stayed like that for what it seemed hours but was only minutes. James had already calmed down when Sam broke the hug.
He stood up and walked towards his bed, kneeling next to it. Sam lifted a loose floorboard and took out a small box before tossing it at his sister. She looked at him expectantly. "Well, open it."
James wasted no time and opened the little box. There was a three inches silver locket connected to a double rope necklace, also made of silver. She took it out of the box. The front had the design of a spaceship in relief, with small settings of sapphire and diamond on the background, looking like stars.
"Press the starship with your right thumb."
She did it and the locket opened. Inside, the left frame contained her name engraved in the silver with more star-shaped sapphires and diamonds around. The right frame contained a black screen.
"Say 'pictures'." Sam instructed her and that she did.
A hologram appeared on the black screen, it was a family photograph. Her mother was in the middle, Sam and her dad next to her, all of them holding her large belly and smiling at the camera. Then, another picture appeared, it was one of her father kissing Wiona's belly as she laughed.
"It has 100GB of capacity, not much but enough to fit some photos and videos in it. It also works as a clock and don't worry about breaking it. Dad made sure to make it nearly indestructible."
James could only nod in response, too busy staring at the small screen. It now showed a picture of Sam and her eating chocolate cake, their faces covered with fudge.
Sam chuckled and ruffled her hair, smiling fondly at the memory. "Dad never told mom about the locket" he explained, sighing with nostalgia. "I was planning to give it to you when you were older, but I think now is a good moment as any"
"Thanks, Sammy." She grinned as she looked up. "I love it!"
"You are welcome." He smiled back "Don't lose it or…eh….sell it. I sold mine and it's the only thing I regret." he picked his backpack up. "I'm leaving now. Take care, Jim" Sam hugged her one last time and placed a kiss on her forehead. Jim held his T-Shirt tight, refusing to let go.
"I love you, Sammy."
"I love you too, Jimmy." He poked her nose "Always, don't forget that." She nodded, biting her lower lip as she tried to hold back the tears.
With those words he left. She heard him go downstairs, closing the front door, turning on his handmade motorbike… He was gone. She didn't cry, she didn't scream. James just held her new locket and stared at her brother's silhouette until she couldn't see him anymore.
She was alone.
Who are you? My name is Sarek
Six months later she found herself opening the door to a very drunk Frank. He was shirtless and holding a bottle of rum on his right hand. Typical.
It was better to stay away from him. Now that Sam was gone, she had to be more cautious. Frank forced her to be perfect. Perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect everything. He loved to presume about raising such a talented child….bullshit. She was a mess, no friends, getting in fights almost every day…she was the little genius freak. That's why she applied to the full scholarship on Tarsus IV. It was no surprise to her when the acceptance letter came, now Frank had one more reason to presume.
Anyways, James was leaving in two days so it didn't matter. She turned around to return to her room. It was three fucking o'clock in the morning, no one should be waken at such an ungodly hour.
"You" Frank called her with disgust. It seemed like the world was hatting her today. 'Remember, Jim. Two more days and you are free. Don't make him angry. Don't-'
"This is all your fucking fault" the words hit her like a punch in the guts. Fuck, today was her mother's death anniversary "If you were not the fucking copy of your god damned father she would have never left home" True "SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER DIED. Don't you get it? She could never NEVER stand you" True "THAT'S WHY SHE ALWAYS TOOK LONG MISSIONS" True "She couldn't even look at you in the eyes" She took it all in silence, everything was true "YOU ARE A FREAK" she backed one step "YOU ARE DISGUSTING" one more step "YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE LITTLE BASTARD OF YOUR DAD. HE KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WAS DISGUSTED OF HAVING A DAUGHTER LIKE YOU" Ok, there was a line and he just crossed it.
"Shut up!" She grabbed her locket. Was it getting hotter? "My dad loved me, he gave his life for me! He's a fucking HERO and what are you? Just a LAME drunkard that enjoys being praised for some shit a little girl does."
SMACK! She was on the floor grabbing her swollen cheek. She looked up at Frank, he actually seemed surprised for having lost control like that. She just stared at him, biting her tongue and holding her tears. Now she could understand how much Sam hated to be smacked. Frank massaged his temple with one hand.
"Go to your room. I'm returning to the bar"
What are you doing? At the present time I am looking through your memories How are you doing this? You have to be a telepath and judging by the way you speak…Are you a Vulcan? Your logic is sound, impressive for a human this young. Yes, I am a Vulcan Oh… so I'm not going crazy? No Good. What happened? How did I get here? That is what I am trying to find.
The next morning she found Frank passed out on the living room, hugging his beloved bottle of rum. He stared at him for some seconds, anger bubbling inside her. Her vision became red. Frank was going to pay. He was going to pay for everything he had done to Sam and her. She was going to break the only thing she loved.
James looked at him with disgust and spat on him. "Fuck you, bastard"
She grabbed Frank's car keys and got out of the house. There he was, Frankie junior. The car was a bright red colour, a rare antique almost impossible to find these days. A beautiful car indeed… it would be a shame if something happened to it. Without thinking it twice, she got in the car and turned it on.
Five minutes later she was going through the highway at full speed. The wind was blowing against her face and her long, blond hair was flowing in every direction. She felt great, she felt free, and she felt real… but her little bubble of happiness broke when she heard a police siren not far behind.
"Citizen, identify yourself" the droid-cop said with his spooky robotic voice "Citizen, pull over"
James started to freak out. There was no way in hell she'll pull over so she did the only think she could think of. Jim violently turned to the right – the car almost falling to the side for a moment- and kept going through a small road. Then, something 'clanged'. Fuck, was that a metal screen? She turned her head just in time to see the droid-cop dodging the fallen screen behind her. Something in her gut told her to return her attention to the front. Holy shit. There was a cliff not more than 300 meters apart. She should jump out the car.
No one would miss you.
200 meters.
Frank was right. You should have never existed.
100 meters.
You are a freak, no one loves you and no one ever will. Die
50 meters.
She was about to do it, to give up but…Oh, no. James Tiberius Kirk is much better than that. HELL YEAH!
She turned the wheel with all her strenght. The car span around and she managed to jump out of it before it went down the cliff. James almost fell down too, she was holding to the border of the cliff with her hands but she managed to lift herself up and rolled away from the border. James laid down for a few seconds, panting hard. Then, she stood up and cleaned the dust form her shorts as the droid cop approached to her.
"Is there a problem, officer?"
"Citizen, identify yourself."
"My name is James Tiberius Kirk," she said with a smug grin. "What's yours?"
That was exciting. That action was extremely dangerous and illogical I know, but I hated Frank so much, you understand? No I do not. Of course, Vulcan. Can we stop here? I don't like the next part.
She was on Tarsus IV. She was happy, happier than ever. After throwing the car over the cliff she had to wait on a cell until Frank was sober enough to pick her up from the police station. He appeared with all her possessions, called a taxi and sent her to the spaceport. No hellos, no good byes, no scolding…actually, it was kind of creepy. James had to wait at the spaceport an entire day, but it was worth it. There she was the golden girl, not a freak genius. Everybody loved her and even Kodos –the governor- had taken interest in her and her projects, but the most important thing was that she had made real friends.
Bones and Riley, more than friends, were like her siblings and filled the hole that Sam had left months ago. Riley was an 11 year old boy (the same age as Jim) and was born in Tarsus IV, but Bones –Leonard- was part of a scholarship just like James. He was in the brink of turning 17 and wanted to become a doctor. They met during James first day of school and despite the differences between their ages, they became friends right away.
The campus was built next to a forest, where Bones, Riley and her spent most of their free time together. After an half an hour walk, hidden by some rocks, was a natural spring. It was their secret hideout, a place where they could go whenever they needed a break from school and reality.
James knew that things were too good to be true and as usual, she was right.
Six months after her arrival a strange fungus appeared. It attacked most of the harvests, causing a shortage of food all around the planet. Her little town was one of the last ones to feel the effects. Each day, the prices of food went a little up. Each week, the meals in the cafeteria became smaller and less substantial. James knew that the worst was about to come, so she started saving some non-perishable food and snacks, which were carefully hidden in their secret hideout. Her friends started doing the same not much after, as the situation in the planet grew worse and worse.
It took less than a year for the people to start panicking. The food was becoming scarse and the people without many recourses started suffering severe cases of undernourishment. Shops started closing, as no more food came. Then, the cafeteria in the school closed, and food was only available for foreign students in the exchange programme. Things were going south and very quickly.
All of sudden, the government went crazy and Kodos closed all transportation in and outside the planet. It was a Monday when the genocide was announced. The government only had enough supplies to feed half of the population until help from Earth and Starfleet came. Kodos selected personally which half of the population would die.
Thankfully, the three of them managed to escape just as the soldiers arrived to their town. James and Bones were probably not on the "death list", but they were sure Riley would be and damn, they were not going to leave their friend alone.
So they packed all the food and things they had and ran towards their hideout, leaving everything behind. Riley's parents were also left behind, as it would be too noticeable if a whole family disappeared. They were halfway towards the spring when the explosions began.
"Fuck!" Bones exclaimed and in less than a second both -Riley and James- found themselves being covered under his much bigger body. Then, the blast wave came, shaking the trees and scaring the birds away. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Bones chanted to himself like a mantra.
There were more explosions. One, two, three… They could hear people screaming and crying. Then, everything went very quiet. Bones finally stood up, followed quickly by Riley and James. They could see smoke coming from their town and the borders of the forest. Riley couldn't stand the view and started running back toward his house.
"Shit!" Leonard cursed for the twentieth time during the last minute. James did the only thing she could think of, she tackled the boy.
"Let me go!"
"No." she whispered against his ear as she held him in a powerful headlock.
Riley let out a pained howl. He kicked and tried to fight her away with all his might. Jim was strong, but Riley was much taller and heavier. She was about to let him go when Bones reached them and took her place. There was no way Riley could win against Bones, so he screamed.
"Shhh! Riley, shut the fuck up!" Leonard warned the boy before putting his hand against his mouth, muffling all his screams. The sound of a helicopter was approaching, then came the bullets sounds and a few people screamed not far away "We are doomed, fucking screwed"
"Bones! We have to keep going!" she whispered fiercely as she began running. "Come on!"
Riley wouldn't move so Bones had to carry him. They ran and ran the fastest they could, careful to avoid being seen. Thankfully, they managed to reach the spring save and sound. Bones threw Riley to the ground and began pacing back and forth.
"Jamie, they have a goddamned helicopter!" Leonard threw his hands towards the hair. "They can find our hideout from the sky!" he exclaimed before stopping his pacing "Are you even hearing me?!"
"God, Bones. Shut up!" James hushed the oldest boy as she took two big plastic bags from her pocket and threw them at her friends. Then, she began stripping until she was in her training bra and panties. The boys gave her a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing look. "Undress and put your things in the bag. What are you waiting for?"
"What?" Riley asked as she cleaned the tears and snot from his face.
"Gosh, just do as I say and follow me!"
"And our hidden food?" Bones asked skeptically as he finished taking of his pants.
"Already taken care of." She gave her a faint smile and a thumbs up. "Ready?"
They nodded as she dived into the water, her friends following close behind. As the water was almost transparent, they could see Jim swimming a few meters ahead of them, she stopped at the other edge of the spring –there was a small cave a few meters underwater- and made them a signal for them to enter. One minute later, the three of them were panting and laying back on a small sand shore inside the cave.
James recovered faster than them and stood up, walking deeper into the cave. It was fairly large, with room enough for six adults. Their supplies were piled in a corner and there were three makeshift cot-like beds waiting for them.
Seconds later, Bones and Riley were next to her. They stood in silence for some minutes, staring at their new hideout. The screaming and gunshots had already stopped, she could tell they were all dead. James side glanced at Riley –who was crying in silence-, he was the only one that had been born and raised on Tarsus IV and now, his parents, his friends, everything he had ever known and loved was destroyed. Bones and she were part of a scholarship but after being a year on Tarsus IV, it also felt like losing their home.
"When..?" Leonard started to ask but was interrupted by James.
"A few weeks." She answered, lowering her head. "You know about me staying at Kodo's place to program their firewall?" they nodded. "I heard him talking about how the famine was getting worse and I just wanted to be ready if something happened."
"Good." Bones ruffled her hair before heading towards the boxes. "Well, let's start unpacking."
Please, please. Stop. This information is very important. It hurts, please! I can't watch it again!
Five weeks later, their food supply was over. James and Bones were sitting side by side in one of their makeshift beds, watching Riley's unconscious body. He had caught a fever and his body temperature was dangerously high. Bones had tried everything he knew to cool him, but the fever just wouldn't go down.
"Bones we have to return to the surface." James stated, her head resting against Leonard's bony shoulder. "We have to find more food, firewood and supplies… we could find some medical plants for Riley or even real medicine from the town!" she pleaded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Bones somehow managed to pull her into his lap and involved her in a hug. She grabbed the front of his T-Shirt and snuggled against his chest. "I-don´t want him to die. I don´t want us to die!"
Leonard sighed and petted her dirty hair. He wanted to comfort her and to tell her that everything was going to be ok, but she was right. Riley need medicine to control his fever and they needed more food or they would starve.
"Ok." he whispered against her blonde locks, his voice hoarse and brittle. "Go and pack everything we have left. I'm going to prepare Riley for the trip."
"No." she shook her head as she broke the hug. "I will go up and you will stay here with Riley."
Bones remained silent for some seconds, his expression blank. Then, he exploded.
"Are you fucking crazy?!" he yelled, making James wince at his tone. "There's no way in hell I'm going to let you go alone!"
"Then, would you prefer to take Riley and get him –and us- most likely killed?" she asked with annoyance. Why wouldn't Bones understand? "We can't take Riley with us, he would slow us down and someone has to stay here with him. Or do you want to leave him alone?"
"I would never do that" he replied, his face crunching up in disgust.
"Then we have no choice. I'll go. You know I'm way faster than you and if I get caught," she gulped, shaking her head to erase all the possible scenarios of what could happen. "…if I get caught, Kodos won't let them kill me…Governor's pet, remember?" Bones gave her a worried look. "I promise I will not get caught."
"Please be safe, Jimmy-girl" James gulped again. Bones had to be very worried, he never called her like that. "If you don't come back in four hours, I swear to god I'll go up to look for you" He hugged her one more time.
"Thanks, Bones," she smiled, her big cerulean eyes twinkling.
James ended the hug and stood up. She walked to the small shore and gave Bones one more look, he waved at her and she waved back. James dived into the water with a smile, not knowing what the future had for her.
STOP! STOP! STOP! I-I am trying to leave your mind but am unable to do so. You are clinging to my presence, James. Stop at once. I CAN'T! HELP ME!
'Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. We are going to die, we are going to fucking die!' James thought as she and Bones ran through the forest, trying to get away from the soldiers. Their hideout was discovered by some soldiers and they had to escape. The soldiers stopped shooting when they recognised the two 'genius' exchange students, but unfortunately they redoubled their efforts to catch them.
Everything happened so fast. Leonard's foot got caught in a root, occasioning the boy to fall on his knees. It was only a couple of seconds, but it was enough to let the soldiers catch up to them. James could only watch in horror as her friend got captured.
"RUN! JAMES, RUN!" Bones was pleading desperately at her. He was being restrained by two soldiers, with a third one pointing a phaser to his head. She could hear a helicopter coming closer and closer, probably with more soldiers. "RUN!"
James shook her head. "Bones, I-" she didn't know what to do. She was scared, so scared…but she couldn't leave him behind! He was her best friend, her big brother, her anchor. Since Riley's death, he was the only person she had left.
"JUST RUN, YOU IDIOT!" he roared.
And she ran, deep into the forest she ran. All her malnourished body was protesting because of the effort, but she kept running. Tears falling free form her eyes.
"James Tiberius Kirk" a voice came through some speakers. She knew that voice. "We have your friend Leonard" she stopped running and looked up. The helicopter was flying in circles around the area where Bones was captured "Turn yourself in and we'll let him live, Apple pie"
Kodos, it was Kodos. He was the only one who called her Apple pie. What the fuck was doing the governor there?
"Need some motivation, Apple pie? Bring him" he ordered. She heard some wrestling and then someone panting "Want to say something to Jamie, Leonard?"
"FUCK YOU, BASTARD" she heard him swear "Listen to me Jim. Don't turn yourself in, these guy is a creep-AH"
Someone had smacked Bones. He was interrupted by Kodos, who now sounded more annoyed "You have five minutes or he's dead"
That was enough to make her run back.
Tears. Regret. Disgust. Kodos locking her in his room. Darkness. Sorrow. Loneliness. SHAME. Bones rescuing her. Happiness. Hope. Friendship. Love. Stealing a small ship. Excitement. The ship was only for one person. Pain. Despair. Panic. Bones knocking her out. Complete darkness.
James Tiberius Kirk woke up screaming.