Carry Me
A DBZ Oneshot Fanfic
A/N: Originally posted on the dbzhell tumblr on November 08, 2015 as part of a request prompt. I have no idea what the inside of the Son household is like.
Prompt: Things you said when you were drunk. (Goku & Chi-Chi)
"Are you drunk?"
She watched as Goku winced at her loud, shrill voice. Good, she thought, her vengeful side seeping through as she glared down at her husband. Her shouting was the least he deserved – he had been gone for weeks, off training with Vegeta on that God of Destruction's planet yet again, and how does he return? By instant transmitting into their dining room and crashing onto the table, crushing it with his weight. Luckily it had been empty, as she had just finished doing the dishes, but that didn't help quell her mounting rage. She liked that table.
Chi-Chi was just glad Goten wasn't around to see such a shameful display.
Goku lay sprawled out on the ground, not making even the slightest effort to get up after he wrecked part of their home. His eyes were glazed over and the smell of alcohol reeked off him, answering her question well enough without him having to say a thing. He did so anyway, his speech so slurred she almost couldn't understand him. "Nahhhh, Chi, I'm not drunk!" Her hands made their way to her hips and her glare became harsher. His eyes widened slightly and he quickly amended his answer. "Ok, I had…some drinks. Vegeta said that he could hold his alcohol better than me." A wicked grin appeared on his face, and for a brief moment Chi-Chi actually felt a little frightened. Only for a moment, though. "But I sure showed him!"
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, still unable to fully comprehend the competitive rivalry between Goku and the saiyan prince. "Well, first thing tomorrow morning, you're going to come down here and fix the table, whether you have a hangover or not!" she demanded, making her voice as loud as she could. She smirked as he let out a small whine. "And considering the state you're in, I'm sure you're going to have a nasty one."
When he didn't respond, black dazed eyes glued to the ceiling, she decided that she was content to leave him on the floor and stepped over him to leave the kitchen. It was late and she was tired, it was time to go to bed. She didn't get very far, however, for soon his hand latched out and clung to one of her ankles, almost causing her to trip in the process. A low growl escaped her throat as she spun around. "GOKU!"
"Carry me!"
Her jaw dropped, flabbergasted by his sudden demand. "What?"
"Carry me to bed!" he repeated brightly. Chi-Chi felt her face turn red as her blood began to practically boil.
"Goku," she began, her voice quiet and even and unnervingly calm, "I am not going to carry you. You were sober enough to instant transmit here, you're well enough to get off your back and walk to the bedroom." She glared at him, and he simply smiled in return, suddenly unaffected by her ever-growing anger. "Not that I would even let you in our room with the state you're currently in!"
His eyes closed and his head lolled to the side, his surprisingly strong grip still holding onto her. "You know, you're really cute when you're angry," he mumbled, causing her eyes to narrow and her face to heat up more. "Your nose scrunches up…and your face is like…like a tomato. It's cute."
She had had enough and began to roughly try to kick his hand off of her. "Goku," she growled when she had little success, "let go of me!"
Goku's eyes snapped open, and suddenly she found him glaring up at her. "No!" he cried, sounding like a child who was just denied dessert – a common occurrence with him, in all honesty. "Not until you pick me up!"
"I'm not going to do that!"
"Carry me, lover!" he cried, rolling on his side so that his other arm could reach out and grab her other leg. Chi-Chi couldn't help but snort upon hearing his words, the phrase sounding so foreign on his drunken tongue. If there had been any doubts about his current alcohol induced state, they were thrown out the window carelessly upon him speaking those words. "Carry me in your big strong arms!"
Perhaps he was drunker that she thought. Anyway, there was no way she'd be able to pry him off her, and she doubted she'd have much success getting up the stairs with him clinging to her. With a frustrated sigh, Chi-Chi finally relented, bending down to scoop her incapacitated husband off the ground. Goku giggled wildly, quickly letting go of her ankles only to latch his arms around her neck. She sighed tiredly as she began the trek upstairs.
"You're so strong, Chi!" His head was a little too close to her ear for comfort, his voice loud enough to make her wince and the stench of alcohol making her want to gag.
She pulled her head away from him as she reached the top of the stairs and felt relieved when he kept his head lolling on her shoulder. "Yes, well, I have to be to put up with you," she grumbled as she moved towards the door to their bedroom, kicking it open with little regard towards whatever damage she could've caused. She'd just have him fix it along with the table.
He didn't respond, soft snores filling the room as she dropped him onto their bed.