A/N: Okay, so this is my first Dragon Ball fanfic... so don't go too hard on me! I've thought about doing this for awhile so I hope you people enjoy reading this...

It's only going to be a few chapters, three at the most, but updates will come fast. I'm going to finish it for your entertainment, but mine too. :3

Also, it's rated T for teen because of some 'inappropriate' themes. Nothing too terribly bad. It's got Yamucha bashing, so watch out. Also, it's a PARODY. Don't take this too seriously. I kind of just wrote it to write it. I read yaoi all the time, and I have nothing against it at all. It's just something to write about... Eh.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball/Z/Kai/GT or anything in it. Credit for that goes to Akira-sensei and FUNimation. Plus, I don't own the New York Times, Fanfiction . net, Zumba Fitness, Batman, and anything else that is obviously not owned by me...

R&R! Thanks! :3

One beautiful, sunny day, Vegeta was skipping through a park, humming "Here Comes the Sun" to himself while talking chipmunks and squirrels ran about his feet and birds tweeted happily in the air, landing on his shoulders. Vegeta smiled at them.

"Aw, wee little birdies, how cute!" He lifted one from his shoulder and stroked it's soft head. "You're a cute wittle birdy, aren't you?"

He let the bird go and came across a group of six year old girls playing jump rope and joined them happily, singing, "Ice cream soda, cherry on top, who's your boyfriend? I forgot!" Giggling with the little girls when he landed on 'K' he said, "I guess Kakarot's my new boyfriend!" The little girls giggled some more and then they all sat down and painted their nails a bright hot pink color...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta woke with a fright, screaming his head off. "JESUS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He looked around the room in horror, expecting the little girls and the birds and chipmunks to be there but they weren't. He sighed.

"Oh my god, what a nightmare," he muttered to himself. "I think I'm going to puke..." Beside him, Bulma rolled over, pulling the covers up to her chin.

"Mmmm, oh yeah... Goku, right there... Right there!" she was mumbling. Vegeta looked at her in terror.

"Bulma, no! Wake up, you must be having a nightmare too!" He shook his wife several times and she jolted awake, staring at Vegeta.

"Goku, what's the matter?" she asked, still half-asleep.

"You're still dreaming, it's me, Vegeta, your husband! Wake up!" He shook her some more, her limp head rolling over her neck. She pulled away and yawned.

"Vegeta? Who's that? Mmmm, goodnight baby." She fell back under the covers and started snoring again. In fear, Vegeta threw himself from his bed and looked at himself in the mirror only to scream at the top of his lungs.

Goku's face stared back at him, that permanent goofball smile slung across his face. Vegeta clutched at his head, screaming while his reflection laughed that goofball laugh...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta woke with a fright, screaming his head off. "JESUS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He looked around the room in horror, expecting to see that horrible reflection of Goku in the mirror but this time it was his real face. He sighed.

"God, that was an even worse nightmare! Having a face like Kakarot's..." He shuddered inadvertently and looked over at Bulma. He couldn't help but feel... what if he was in another nightmare?

He shook her awake and she turned to him, drool dripping down her chin. "Vegeta... what's the matter?"

He sighed. She knew it was him, phew. Still, he had to be sure.

"Bulma, would you have sex with a guy who was wearing a batman mask?" he asked. She blinked at him.

"Of course! Batman's amazing! Why wouldn't I?"

Vegeta smirked and pulled a Batman mask out of nowhere and put it on. Instantly, Bulma jumped on him and started making out with him when suddenly the door to their room slammed open. Trunks appeared there in a soda cap and jumped up on the bed. (Guys, Trunks is eighteen in this. Just saiayn...)

"Daddy, Mommy! Time to wake up!" he screeched. He started jumping on their legs. "Wakey uppy!"

"Impudent youth!" Vegeta said, knocking his son to the floor. He lay there a second before getting up and jumping on the bed again.

"Cocka-doodle-do, wake up!" he yelled. "Let's go play!"

"Trunks, dear, it's too early in the morning for this. Go find your sister and play with her," she muttered, pulling the covers up. Trunks kept jumping.

"Listen to your mother!" Vegeta snapped, tossing Trunks back to the floor. "Leave us now!"

"Dad, why are you wearing a Batman mask?" he asked, laughing at him. Vegeta pulled the thing off.

"Never you mind that!" he cursed and fell back onto his pillow. "Go away!" He pulled Bulma closer to him under the covers and started nuzzling at her forehead.

"Sure, Dad, but there's someone here to see you. He says it's urgent!"

Vegeta hopped from bed. "Oh, goody! It must be the mail man delivering my Zumba Fitness Trainer! Yay!"

Trunks looked up at his dad, sucking his soda cap. "Dad, you're weird."

Vegeta flew through the house, literally, and came to a rest at the front door. He swung it open and tackled the man standing there. "Give me my Zumba Fitness Trainer!"

The man struggled from Vegeta's grasp and said, "What are you talking about?!"

Vegeta got off the guy to see it wasn't the mail man but Goku, looking rather frazzled.

"Kakarot! What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were the mail man..." He cleared his throat. "Forget you heard that."

"Oh, thank goodness, Veggie! There's something I need to show you! It's mega important," the younger Saiyan said, hoping from one foot to the other like he had to pee. "Can I use your computer?"

Vegeta stepped aside from the doorway and motioned for him to come in. "This had better be good, Kakarot, or I'll feed you to Oolong!"

Oolong, who was sitting on the couch reading the New York Times in a pair of glasses and suspenders, said, "Vegeta, I'm not a cannibal," in a rather thick British accent he just seemed to have randomly.

Vegeta led Goku to the nearest computer and the latter sat in the chair. When he got onto the internet a message popped up that read, "Hey Vegeta, just getting back to you on your shipment of coke. It should arrive within the next ten business days." Goku looked up at Vegeta questioningly. The prince quickly X'ed the message, red in the face.

"You never saw that," he said. Goku just shrugged and started typing things furiously into the search bar. Once he finally found what he was looking for, he turned the screen to Vegeta who took Goku's spot on the swivel chair.

"Get a load of this," Goku said, standing behind Vegeta while he read.

Once Vegeta finished, his face was green and he had thrown up seven times.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ?! WHAT IS THIS?!" he roared.

"They're what people call fanficitons," Goku explained. "And this particular one is called a yaoi fanfic where two guys are together and/or have sex! In this case, WE HAVE SEX!"

Vegeta vomited again, remembering some of what he had just read. "Oh, lord, no... This is... this can't be happening!"

"And what's worse is that they're are thousands of them out there! Not just you and me, oh no... There's you and Piccolo, you and Gohan, you and Yamucha – "

"Not Yamucha!" Vegeta shouted. "Anyone but him!"

"They're a disgrace to all us dignified men!" Goku said, smacking his palm with his fist.

"Well, except Yamucha. He's not really dignified..." Vegeta said, rubbing his chin.

"That's true," Goku agreed. "Still, these need to stop! It's not just you and be being used in these... Our sons too! Trunks and Gohan and Goten!" Goku shuddered involuntarily. "They're horrible...!"

"I'm with you there, all the way, for once. What kind of sick-minded creeps write these things?" Vegeta asked, clicking another fanfic and trying to keep his stomach from convulsing.

"Teenagers who are too young to actually have sex themselves so they write erotic fanfictions about you and me, me and Freiza, you and Nappa!"

"OH HELL NAW," Vegeta roared angrily. "NOT THAT BUFFOON NAPPA!" He picked the computer off the table and threw it out the window. "Doesn't anyone ever write any fanfictions about us being straight?"

Goku shrugged. "Rarely. Sometimes we'll get lucky and get laid by Bulma or someone, but hardly ever!" Vegeta clutched his stomach.

"Well, I think we can both agree these things need to stop right now," Vegeta said considerably.

"Yes, yes, but how...?" Goku asked, scratching his head.

Suddenly Chi-Chi burst through the front door that was left open, screaming her head off.

"Goku, Goku, Goku! Oh thank gods I found you!" she screamed, throwing herself on her husband. "Oh, Kami-sama, it's HORRIBLE!" She started crying into Goku's chest.

"What is it Chi-Chi?" Goku asked, petting her hair. "What's happened?"

She looked up at him with fear-filled black eyes. "It's Gohan! He keeps going on about how much he wants to get alone with Trunks and rip all his clothes off and..." She trailed off, starting to gag. "I can't even say it!"

Vegeta and Goku looked at one another. "Do you think...?" Goku asked.

"Yes, I do," Vegeta agreed, crossing his arms. "Some crazy fanfiction is at work here..."

"HELP MEEEEEEE!" A sudden scream rang throughout the large house. Moments later, Bulma clad in only a thin blue robe and underwear, came tumbling down the stairs, almost falling to her feet. She launched herself into Vegeta's arms, sobbing like crazy and kicking her legs. "Help me!"

"What's your problem?" Vegeta snapped, looking down at his wife. "What's the matter?"

"Trunks... It's Trunks...!" was all she managed to say before the purple-haired teen himself came barreling down the stairs at top speed.

"Gohan... where are you?" Trunks called in a sing-song voice. "Hello?!"

The two Saiyans and their wives looked at Trunks as he ran past them, looking crazed, dazed and wild. "Ohhh Gohan! I have a surprise for you! ~"

"What's with him?" Vegeta asked as he narrowed his un-realistically big eyes at his eldest child. "He looks drunk."

"Oh, great lord," Bulma muttered in Vegeta's shoulder. "He's acting like a lunatic, asking where Gohan is and saying he wants to screw him so hard that – "

Before she could finish, Vegeta covered her mouth with his hand. "That's enough. I don't want to hear any more."

"Ohhhhh Gohan! Where are you baby?~" Trunks called, standing in the doorway. He turned to his mother and father. "I'm going out to find my love, I'll be back tomorrow." He raised his eyebrows suggestively and then ran out the front door.

"Oh no!" Chi-Chi and Bulma cried together. "What are they going to do together?!"

"Quiet!" Veggie demanded as both females started crying on the floor. "We have to do something, and quick. Before Trunks gets to Gohan and anything... happens..." He trailed off awkwardly and cleared his throat. "Anyone have any idea's?"

"Oh, oh, I have one!" Goku jumped up and down in an excited schoolgirl manner. "I have a great idea!"

"Yes, what is it, Kakarot?" Vegeta asked, crossing his arms. Both wives looked at Goku in hopefulness. Goku beamed in pride.

"Okay, okay... This person's obviously writing this fanfiction on a computer, yes?" Everyone nodded. "Then in that case... I VOTE WE DESTROY ALL THE COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD!"

Vegeta stared at him.

Chi-Chi's lip quivered.

Bulma smacked her forehead.

"What?! Is that such a bad idea?" Goku demanded, looking upset. "I thought it was a grand idea..."

"You fool!" Vegeta broke out. "That will do nothing except – "

At that moment, Bulma's momma walked in through the open door. She smiled at Bulma whence she saw her (even though her eyes remained shut) and put down the groceries she had been carrying.

"Bulma, dear, I just saw the strangest thing..." She said in her ditzy, high-pitched voice. "Your dear son Trunks ran by in nothing but a pink speedo. I think he was screaming for someone named Goha... Goan... Go... Hmmmm..." She trailed off, tapping her forehead. "I swear I remember..."

"Gohan!" Chi-Chi shouted. "Trunks is goin' after Gohan! We have to stop him!" She turned to her hubby. "As stupid as your plan is, I say we go for it!"

"Yeah!" Bulma agreed. "It's worth a shot! Anything to stop what could happen between those two..." Everyone involuntarily shuddered, trying not to think about the end of that unfinished sentence.

"Then I suppose it's settled," Vegeta said. "Let's go destroy all the computers in the world!"

"Yeah!" said Chi-Chi.

"Yeah!" said Bulma.

"Yeah!" said Goku.

"YOLO!" said Oolong. They tossed him out the window with the computer.

Vegeta bent down so Bulma could crawl up onto his back and Goku did the same for Chi-Chi. "Ready?" asked the Saiyan Prince. Everyone nodded. "Then let's go!"

With that, the four of them flew out of the house at top speed, towards South City to begin their computer slaying.

Deep within the heart of a ghetto neighborhood, Yamucha sat in a snafu little house underneath the covers of his bed, face lit up by the screen of his laptop. His fingers worked against the keyboard while he hummed 'A Pirate's Life For Me.' If one were to look at the screen, they would see it was open to a website called Fanfiction and Yamucha was busy writing a fanfic.

Trunks touched Gohan's neck tenderly, who leaned in to the caress. An insistent purr rumbled deep within Gohan's chest as Trunks brought his lips to meet Gohan's...

Yamucha smiled to himself and cracked his knuckles. Oh yeah, that's the stuff, he thought to himself. Man, people be paying to read this fic soon!

He switched his humming to the song Super Bass and returned to clacking the keys.

Suddenly, his door was thrown open and someone stepped inside.

"Yamucha! There's an emergency!" the person shouted. "It's uber mega important! Er... Yamucha?"

Yamucha threw the covers from his head and growled at the person standing there to see it was the Ghost of Nappa. (Don't ask. He's just a ghost in this...)

"Nappa, what did I tell you about interrupting me during fanfiction time?!" Yamucha shouted. "I'm busy!"

"Oh, yes, sorry Yamucha," Ghost Nappa bowed apologetically. "But Yamucha... it's important!" He spun an imaginary strand of hair around his finger.

"What's so important?" Yamucha demanded. Ghost Nappa jumped up and down.

"IT'S THEM!" he shouted then calmed down a bit. "What I mean to say is... Goku and Chi-Chi and Bulma and Vegeta..."

"Vegeta!" Yamucha jumped out of bed at the name. "What's that ugly mugged vegetable got to do with this?"

"Oh, gods it's horrible! They're trying to destroy all computers so they can stop fanfictions!"

Both gasped in a dramatic sort of way and Yamucha flicked his hair. "Well, that's a problem... What to do?"

"Oh, oh, I know!" Ghost Nappa jumped up and down. "How abouts we destroy them before they can do any serious damage to your popular fanfic?"

Yamucha thought hard about this to the point a vein popped from his head. "Aha! I got it!" He held up a finger. "We destroy them before they can do any serious damage to my popular fanfic! Oh yes, so sinister, so vile... I'm so glad I thought of it!"

Ghost Nappa slapped himself in the face. "Jesus save me," he muttered under his breath.

"Okay then! Let's go destroy them! Destroy Goku, Chi-Chi and... Bulma. But most importantly, VEGETA!" He punched a nearby stuffed animal. "Let's go Ghost Nappa!"

"Right-o!" Ghost Nappa said and the two of them flew from the house in the Ghetto towards Capsule Corp.