A/N: So...hello. This is not really my fandom. I'm not sure what's happened here. I've been watching SEAL Team from the first episode because hello, hot men, and when "Time to Shine" aired the temptation to play with dry/secondary drowning was just too tempting and...here we are. Please enjoy me whumping Sonny to the very best of my ability!
"Set him down nice and easy," Jason said as they lowered Sonny onto the wardroom table. "Sonny, hey buddy, talk to me."
Sonny's eyes were open but he was still gasping for air and didn't respond to Jason's request. "All right let me in," the corpsman demanded, pushing Ray out of the way.
"How is he?" Jason asked immediately.
"He was dead three minutes ago," the man said. "Give me a second. And hand me that oxygen."
The mask was strapped over Sonny's face as the sub's doc examined Sonny's abdomen, his pupils, his extremities. "Does he have any underlying conditions?" the doc asked. "Cardiac? Respiratory?"
"If he did he wouldn't be here," Jason said.
He badly wanted to pace but the wardroom was already smaller than his kids' bedrooms and with several burly men inside it just wasn't going to happen. He couldn't lose another teammate. He couldn't lose another person he cared about. "Why isn't he saying anything?" he asked when he couldn't wait any longer.
"He's all right for now," the doc finally said. "He's not responsive yet, but that's to be expected with this kind of trauma. He's not in immediate danger but he does need further care ASAP; a chest x-ray, probably a course of antibiotics, and observation for complications. He inhaled a lot of water."
"I'll get us a ride," Eric said, immediately leaving the room.
The doc was still examining Sonny. "And depending on how he wakes up, we may need to get him a neurological exam as well."
Jason felt his heart sink. There was no real way of knowing how long Sonny had been without oxygen. "He is not going to be a vegetable," he said angrily, pointing his finger at the corpsman.
"I didn't say he was. He may wake up just fine. But if he doesn't, we'll need to know what his function will be."
Sonny jerked and ripped the mask away from his face. "I don't wanna die!" he rasped. "I don't wanna die!"
"Hey! Hey!" Jason grabbed his hand as the doc scrambled to push the mask back on his face. "Sonny look at me. You're not dying. You're okay. You gotta leave that on all right?"
Sonny looked at him but his eyes were void of recognition. Jason kept his grip on the man's hand as he settled back down a bit. "How is he?" Clay asked as he stepped into the room, Sonny's hat clutched in his hands.
"He's hanging in there," Ray said.
"I should go check in with Blackburn," Jason said.
"Shit," Clay said, running a hand through his hair and sinking down onto a chair. "What the hell just happened?"
Jason shook his head. "Damned if I know."
"He say anything?"
"Nothing that makes any sense. Doc here's concerned about his brain."
Clay crushed the hat in his hands. "He was right there. If he dies…"
"He's not gonna die," Jason said sharply.
"All right boys," Eric strode back into the room. "We ex-fil in thirty."
Jason rose. "Where are we taking him?"
"Straight to the army base in Seoul. Once we reach ex-fil they'll chopper him out."
"Army? Why not the base in Chinhae?" Jason asked. "Isn't that faster?"
Eric was shaking his head. "They aren't equipped to handle a medical emergency like this."
"He'll be fine Jay," Ray said. "Army'll take good care of him."
"They better." Jason looked at his injured team member. The guilt over this was going to eat him alive for years either way. "They better."
The first thing he was aware of was a splitting headache. His skull felt like a cracked egg. The rawness in his throat was next and then the aching of his body. What in the hell was going on?
Any kind of movement hurt so he lay still and tried to remember where he was. "Are they sure the tests came back all right?" That was Clay's voice.
"They said everything was fine." Then Ray's.
"Then why hasn't he woken up?" And there was Jason.
"They said to be patient. It was a traumatic experience." Ray again.
"Yeah he's not the only one who's traumatized," Jason said.
"He didn't have that many brain cells to begin with, are they sure there's no permanent damage?" Clay asked.
He did sound legitimately worried, but Sonny couldn't let that stand. "I can hear you, ya know," he ground out. Or tried to. What came out was more of a pained sounding grunt.
With a huge effort he lifted his eyelids and found all three of them standing beside his bed. "Sonny? Hey. You in there?" Jason asked.
Sonny squinted up at him and tried to make his mouth cooperate. "I'm gonna kill you Spenser," was what he meant to say but again what came out was, "M'gonklspsr."
"Get him some ice chips," Jason ordered. "Hey, Sonny, look at me. Do you remember what happened?"
He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Fuck. Yeah he remembered. He nodded. "Okay that's good," Jason said. "Listen we're in Seoul at the Army base."
Army? Sonny frowned. Why the hell were they at the army base? "Yeah I know," Jason seemed to understand even though Sonny hadn't said the words out loud. "You're an emergency and the base in Chinhae doesn't do emergencies."
Emergency? Shit. He must've looked worried because Ray spoke up. "You're fine though. We got you out in time. Docs have said you're in good shape. Just going to keep you for observation and then we're outta here."
Clay returned with the ice chips and Jason helped him sit up a little. It was embarrassing to be fed ice chips by his team leader, but then he remembered that he'd also cried and said some pretty emotional shit in that tube and just let it happen because it didn't seem like his arms really wanted to lift themselves anyway.
"Better?" Ray asked after a couple spoonfuls.
Sonny nodded. "First of all," he was pleased when his voice came out, gravelly but intact this time, "fuck you Spenser, I have plenty of brain cells."
"There he is!" Jason said with a grin.
"Second of all, how the hell did we get here? Cuz the last thing I remember was heading toward the pearly gates," Sonny said.
That wasn't quite true. The last thing he remembered was feeling his lungs squeeze shut, gasping for air and choking on water instead, and thinking his mama was never going to get past this.
"You're sure they were the pearly ones? Didn't see anybody standing there with a pitchfork?" Clay asked.
"Again, fuck you Spenser," Sonny said. "If I hadn't been such a nice person and let you go ahead of me into the tubes it would have been your sorry ass stuck in there."
He took a deep breath and immediately felt it catch. He began to hack and cough and he heard Jason tell Ray to get the nurse. "All right, easy, easy there Sonny," he said, adjusting the oxygen on Sonny's face so that it flowed better into his nostrils.
The nurse came in and took his vitals and told him the doctor would be by soon. "Where's Blackburn?" Sonny asked when she'd left.
"Trying to get us home," Ray said.
Sonny nodded because suddenly talking seemed like a lot of work. He was exhausted and sore. Everything hurt from his hair to his toenails. Drowning really took it out of you.
Jason tapped his arm. "We'll let you get some rest. Holler if you need anything."
"Jason," Sonny stopped him as the others left. "I just…thank you. For what you did. I know it was you who got me outta that thing and I uh, I appreciate it."
"Couldn't let my best man go out like that," Jason said with a smile. "You did good Sonny."
"Yeah," Sonny nodded tiredly and then shifted uncomfortably. "And that stuff about Davis…"
"Doesn't leave this room," Jason promised.
"All right. Thanks."
"Get some rest."
By the time they hit stateside Sonny thought he might just fall down and kiss the dirt, partly out of relief and partly from necessity. He'd been given a number of antibiotics and painkillers from the docs but that didn't stop the weariness that had taken hold and refused to let go. His chest and head were killing him and he just wanted to lie down and maybe eat an entire pizza.
He reached for his bag but Spenser got to it first. "I can carry my own stuff," he grumbled.
"Not today," Clay said, slapping him on the back, which made him cough. Clay winced. "Sorry."
"I'm not an invalid," he griped although he was secretly glad for the help. The thought of driving himself home was enough of an exhausting prospect.
They left the plane and he wasn't surprised to see a line of people waiting. Apparently his near death experience had made base headlines. Mandy hugged him first. "I'm so sorry," she said.
"Ah, no big deal. All in a day's work," he said with a smile.
"You good?" Trent asked, taking a close look at him. "You feeling all right? Not dizzy or sick?"
"God damn it I am not an old lady. I'm fine. A little soggy but nothing a few beers can't clear up," Sonny told him.
There were more greetings, Brock, Cerberus, even Kairos had shown up. But the one person he really wanted to see was strangely absent.
His eyes searched the grounds for Lisa but she didn't appear. Not in the locker room either. Damn. He'd really screwed up if she wasn't even going to come say hello.
"You good to get home?" Ray asked as they walked to the parking lot.
"Yeah I'll be fine," Sonny said.
"You call if you need anything," Jason ordered. "I can be there in ten minutes."
"Yeah I know. Get home to your kids. Give 'em a hug for me."
They peeled off and Sonny trudged toward his own truck. That was when he saw her, leaning against the cab. "You son of a bitch," she said, her arms going around his shoulders. "Don't you ever do that to me again."
"I'll try my darndest," he said with a sigh. It felt so good to have her close to him. "Davis, I'm sorry—"
"No," she shook her head. "Don't worry about it tonight. Come on. I'm taking you home."
"I can drive my own truck."
She disagreed and today he let her win.
He dozed off as Lisa drove, even though the trip was short. "Hey, we're here," she said softly as she stopped the truck.
He grunted as he got out. His body was stiff and sore and his chest still burned when he moved too fast. "You want something to eat?" Lisa asked as she began rummaging through his refrigerator. "I made sure you were stocked up. I can make us steaks. Or we can order something."
He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and buried his face in her shoulder. She accepted his embrace for several long minutes before turning in his arms so she could look into his face. "You all right?" she asked, her eyes searching his.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah I'm good. Let's get pizza."
He walked away and she followed him. "Sonny come on. What happened…it was a big deal. If you want to talk about it…"
"Davis, I am fine," he said, rifling through a stack of takeout menus until he found the one for the good pizza place. "All in a day's work right? Although I'd always hoped I'd go out in a blaze of glory rather than as a wet sausage."
"Sonny…"
"I'm good, Lisa," he said. "I promise. Now, what do you want on the pizza? No anchovies."
He didn't want to talk about it. Not how close it had been. Not how he'd thought about her when he was dying. Not about officer school or feelings or what any of it meant for the two of them. He just wanted to go back to how things had been. But it wasn't that simple.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
It was their first full day back and Sonny had dragged his sorry ass out of bed early to make it to the base for PT this morning. Apparently Jason wasn't happy with that. Lisa probably wouldn't be either, but he'd left her asleep so what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her for now.
"I'm working out. What are you doing here?" Sonny asked as he inhaled and lifted his weights again.
"Apparently saving you from doing something stupid and killing yourself," his boss said. "You're supposed to be home."
"Doing what? Lying around? Convalescing? I'm fine Jason."
"The doc said—"
"Who the heck cares what the doc said? I know you don't Mr. 'My Head Injury is No Big Deal.'"
The look on Jason's face said he didn't appreciate his own choices being used against him. Sonny tensed. He didn't want to be sent packing, but if Jason chose to do it he'd be forced to follow orders.
Ray stepped into the room followed by Clay. "Hey," he said, taking in the situation. "You feeling up to working it out this morning?"
"Fit as a freaking fiddle," Sonny said, setting the weights down. "Long as the boss is on board."
Jason glared at him as the other guys began to trickle into the room. "We're doing hills today."
"Works for me," Sonny said.
"You pace yourself." Jason's finger was out, an indication that he was serious.
"Always do."
"If you have any problems you tell me or you tell Ray immediately, got it?"
"Clear as crystal."
"Fine." Jason grabbed his pack. "Five miles. Packs on."
Everyone else shouldered the additional weight, including Sonny. Jason was still watching him and he hid a grimace as the pack pulled on his sore muscles. "All right, let's roll," Jason said.
Sonny followed the rest of the team out the door into the early morning sunshine. Five miles was a little rough on Sonny on his good days. He wasn't built for running. But today was pure torture. By mile three his lungs were clenching in his chest and it was all he could do not to drop to all fours on the spot and dry heave.
The team ran on and he fell further behind. He staggered over a ridge and found Ray waiting for him. "Go home Sonny," he said.
"Can't," he gasped. "Gotta keep going."
"Not today. Come on. I'll walk you back."
"I'm fine," he continued to protest, pushing past Ray.
"If you fall over out here Jason is going to whoop your sorry ass into next week," Ray said.
Sonny ignored him. He didn't have the breath for talking anyway.
Ray kept pace with him the rest of the way. He finally staggered back into the locker room probably half an hour behind the other guys. Jason was the only one there, arms crossed as he leaned against his locker. "See?" Sonny croaked as he dropped his pack. "Good to go."
Jason looked red in the face, like he was about to lose it. "I got this," Ray said calmly.
"Ray—"
"Jace, I got it," Ray said again.
Jason stalked from the room as Sonny collapsed onto a bench, trying to catch his breath. Ray uncapped a bottle of water and handed it to him. Sonny gulped down half of it and then choked, hacking a cough that didn't seem to stop.
At last he gasped, his taxed lungs aching inside his chest as the coughing finally subsided. "You all right?" Ray asked.
He nodded, still unable to speak.
"What are you trying to prove here Sonny?" Ray asked. "That you're some kind of badass? We already know that."
"Not trying to prove anything," Sonny croaked. "Just doing my job."
"Well your job right now is to make sure your head and body are all right," Ray said pointedly. "Not to try and kill yourself for the second time in three days."
"Wasn't trying to do that," Sonny said.
"Well it kinda looked like it." Ray studied him for a minute. "You wanna talk about it?"
Sonny shook his head. "Nothing to talk about. Did my job. You all did yours. We all came home. End of story."
"You know it's not that simple."
"It is if I say it is."
"Sonny—"
"Ray, I am fine buddy. Don't you worry. You guys got me outta that tin can and now I'm like a new man." He stood and patted Ray on the shoulder.
If he'd only told Ray the truth it might have helped. But he wasn't weak. And he wouldn't let the rest of his team see him that way.
He was trapped. Couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. What the hell? The darkness overwhelmed him and panic set in. He thrashed but there was nowhere for him to go. He was dying. Drowning. No. This couldn't be happening.
"Let me out!" he screamed, but his voice came out as barely more than a strangled whisper. His movements were slow and sluggish, like his entire body was trapped in mud, not water. No one heard him. No one came. No one cared. He would die alone, trapped.
"Help!" he tried again, his voice rasping. "Help me!"
"Sonny! Sonny wake up!"
His eyes flew open, his heart hammering in his chest. Breathing should have been easier now that he was awake but it wasn't. His throat felt tight and he hacked and coughed until he thought he would vomit.
Lisa's hand on his back didn't even register for nearly a full minute as he fought to control his breathing. He fell back against the pillows, chest still heaving as pain stabbed through him.
He'd felt pretty terrible after the run with the team yesterday. But it hadn't been enough to keep him home today. He'd done his own PT and then spent the day ignoring the way his body wanted nothing more than to go to bed and stay there. Lisa had come over in the evening and he'd had a devil of a time trying to hide how shitty he felt.
It was nothing compared to how he felt now. Lisa's hand touched his sweaty forehead. "You're burning up."
If he was burning up, why did he feel so cold? "Davis," he gasped, still unable to catch his breath.
"I'm right here," she said.
"I can't breathe," he said. "I can't…I can't breathe."
"All right, okay come on. We're going to the hospital," she said.
She was sitting by his hospital bed at 5:00am when Jason burst into the room. "How's he doing?" he asked immediately.
"It's pneumonia," Lisa said. "He just couldn't take it easy. And his body couldn't handle it."
"Shit," Jason said. "I knew I should have sent him home yesterday. Damn it Sonny."
"He would have just run on his own anyway. That's what he did this morning," Lisa said. "He's been pushing himself since he got back. Won't sit still."
Her hand was clutching Sonny's and when she realized she pulled away, hoping Jason hadn't noticed. Sonny was hooked up to oxygen and they'd started him on a different course of antibiotics since the ones he'd been taking weren't working well. He hadn't woken since they'd allowed her into the room and she was dying to see him open his eyes.
"God what a fucking week," Jason said, sinking into another chair, rubbing a hand over his face.
"You call the rest of the guys?"
"Ray. He'll get everybody else on board." He looked at Lisa. "I thought we were going to lose him."
She nodded. "Me too."
Jason had the good grace not to ask why she'd been the one to call him. Why she'd been at Sonny's place in the middle of the night. He wasn't stupid. What had been a secret was now out in the open. Somehow Lisa should have cared about that but she didn't.
"He better recover fast because I'm going to run him so hard he'll wish he'd stayed in that tube," Jason growled.
Lisa rolled her eyes. These men. Couldn't come out and say what they were feeling so instead they just beat the crap out of each other. It was heartwarming really. "You didn't have to come," she said.
He glared at her. "Of course I did. It's my fault he's in here."
"You mean you're the reason he's here and not in a body bag," she corrected. "I heard about how it all went down."
Jason shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "I've lost guys before but this…" he shook his head. "Shittiest way to go I've ever seen. He was so close. We were so close. And as much as I wanted to just rip him outta there, they were right. It would have been war."
"Sonny gets that."
"Does he? Because I'm not sure I do."
She looked at Sonny's sleeping face and tried to imagine a world without him. "Yeah me neither."
He had to stop waking up like this. He could feel the oxygen mask on his face, could hear the beeping of machines nearby. His chest hurt. His head hurt. His throat was dry.
He opened his eyes a crack and the first thing he saw were Jason's boots propped up on the end of his bed. Fuck. Maybe he'd just go back to sleep.
"Hey there, look who's waking up."
Screw the nurse for blowing his cover. She smiled down at him as she adjusted his IV. "Feeling a little better now?"
"Peachy," he croaked.
"Glad to hear it. We'll have you all fixed up and out of here in no time," she said. "Your job is to keep yourself from coming back."
"We'll make sure of it," Jason said gruffly.
She chatted a bit more but Sonny wasn't really paying attention. His mind was on the tongue-lashing he was about to get from Jason. He was pretty sure the words "idiot," "moron," and "screw-up" were going to be the kindest part of the conversation.
Lisa had disappeared, probably to get coffee and avoid the confrontation. Smart lady. Damn it, he'd really screwed this one up. Thank god Lisa had been with him so he didn't choke to death in his own home. Jason would've found his body, brought him back to life, and killed him again.
The nurse left and Jason's eyes speared right through him. Sonny fought the urge to squirm like his mama had just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. "Go ahead and say it," he said.
"Say what?" Jason asked.
"That I'm an idiot. That I let the team down. That the next time I let this happen you're going to kick me out."
"Actually," Jason sat up, resting his elbows on his knees, "I was going to ask if you're all right."
Sonny blinked a couple times. "Okay."
"Are you?" Jason asked. "Are you all right?"
"I mean, I guess so," Sonny said. He couldn't figure out where this slightly softer side of Jason was coming from.
"Damn it Sonny," Jason shook his head. "Twice in one week. We almost lost you twice. Do you know how it felt to get that phone call in the middle of the night?"
"Not the booty call you were hoping for huh?" Sonny tried to make light of the situation.
"See, this is the problem," Jason said, some of the normal fire coming back into him. "You keep joking, acting like this is not a big deal. You died Sonny. I touched your cold, dead body and it is only by the grace of whatever god is sitting upstairs on a giant throne that we got you back."
"I know Jay," Sonny said. "Believe me I know."
"Well then start acting like it. Start acting like you're here and you're staying. If that means getting some therapy, talking to somebody, I need you to do it. Get your head right. Cuz I'm not losing another team member."
"All right," Sonny said. He'd pushed himself too hard. He knew that. But hearing Jason say it made him realize just how much this whole ordeal had affected the team. He hadn't thought much about how terrible it must have been for them, standing there, listening to him say goodbye, listening to him die just inches from their fingertips. The thought sent a shiver down his spine.
"That's an order," Jason clarified.
"Got it," Sonny said. "Loud and clear."
"I don't want to see your sorry ass back on base before next week."
Something told Sonny he wasn't getting out of bed before then anyway. Lisa could be scarier than Jason when she wanted to be. "Yes sir boss."
Jason nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Good. I'll be checking in." He stood up and then turned back. "And maybe it's not my place, but whatever this thing is with Davis? Don't screw it up. For either one of you."
Sonny sat with that for a while until Lisa poked her head back in. "Morning sunshine," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Well how's that for a greeting?" he asked. "Coming in here drinking coffee when you know I can't have any."
"Hey, as the woman who dragged your sorry ass down here at 3:00am I'd say I earned this coffee. All you've done is lie in bed and get pampered," she teased as she sat next to him.
"Yeah it's regular day at the spa here what with all the needles and the questions and the beeping," he groused.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Better," he admitted. "Chest doesn't feel quite as tight."
"That's good," she said. "You had me a little worried there."
"Kinda worried myself for a second," he said. He stuck out a hand and she tucked hers inside it. "Thanks for being there for me."
She smiled. "You got it."
He wasn't sure where things were going. But holding Lisa's hand in his, he felt for a second like he'd been given a second chance. Like maybe he'd made it out of that submarine for a reason. And he was going to do his darn well best not to screw it up.
A/N: As I always say, leave your love in the reviews!