BOOOOOM!
A black wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.
Show must go on
Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing the screen to burst
Show must go on
Kyurem the Critic gave a genuine smile as he watched a slide show of highlights from his reviews.
I'll face it with a grin
"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" the Intoxiquer shouted in Genesect's face.
I'm never giving in
On with the show
Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.
Imperator Justinian shook Keldeo's forehoof.
Arceus the Critic glared at Mew as she floated near a stone replica of him.
I'll top the bill
I'll overkill
Jack Storm sprung awake wearing his robes and battle ready.
Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.
I have to find the will to carry on with the show
On with the show
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.
"SPOILERS!" Zorua exclaimed.
Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.
Show must go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .
Keldeo the Critic- Season Five
Episode One: The Bad Luck of Penelope Pussycat by TheDreamingHawk
Thumbnail- TinyURL: y84mzk3c
Keldeo landed on his left forehoof and sprayed Hydro Pump from his other hooves to spin around in an awesome show of watery acrobatics.
"I'm baaaaaaack!" Keldeo said as he spun.
He stopped spraying water and then flipped up and landed on all four hooves. He smiled and said, "It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!"
Keldeo chuckled and said, "Man. I can't believe I'm on my fifth season! Who knew I'd be able get so much enjoyment out of this! But what really encourages me to keep going is the fact that you readers out there enjoy it to! Whether you agree, disagree, or think I'm in the wrong, it doesn't matter! As long as you get something out of this show, I'm happy!"
Keldeo then smiled warmly and said, "Now, seeing as it's February, the month that Saint Valentine's Day falls in, I think it would be appropriate to review a fanfic that has a theme love and romance."
Keldeo smiled sheepishly and said, "And if any of you are wondering why I didn't just do this on Saint Valentine's Day, well. . ."
Keldeo then gave an incredulous look and said, "I obviously spent all of that special day with Meloetta! I couldn't waste that special day doing a review that can be done any old day." Keldeo became misty eyed and gave a sigh, "Ahhhh. What a wonderful day that was."
Keldeo stared into space for a moment, then he snapped back to the present and said, "Oh yeah, ahem. Also, well, what really gave me the final push to come back was actually the end of Kyurem the Critic on February 17th. Kyurem's a great reviewer and a strong rival, so his review show stopping will leave a hole in the FanFiction Critic Community that only I can fill. So, that's why I decided to come back now, at the end of February, with a romance fanfic!"
"Oh, but not just any romance! Oh no, this fanfic stars one of the most infamous quote-unquote 'couples' of all time: Pepe Le Pew and Penelope Pussycat. TheDreamingHawk presents: The Bad Luck of Penelope Pussycat."
The Bad Luck of Penelope Pussycat
By: TheDreamingHawk
Poor Penelope, ever since a white stripe keeps appearing on her tail due to a mysterious mirror, she can't seem to avoid a skunk named Pepe Le Pew. Can a friendly woman named Marisa get her out of this strange situation? Rated T for suspense.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 31,124 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: Mar 18, 2012 - Published: Jan 28, 2012 - Status: Complete - id: 7783772
"That's right! It's a Looney Tunes fanfic! The first one to be reviewed by me!" Keldeo said excitedly, "And oh boy, is it gonna be a stinker!"
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAAH!
"No pun intended," Keldeo said in an aggravated tone, but then he sighed and became rather cheerful again, "Anyway, I'm sure this is gonna be a fun fanfic to criticize. I mean, it has Pepe Le Pew in it! The most hated Looney Tunes character of all time!"
Suddenly, Victini flew in holding a picture the size of him over his head. It was a picture of Fifi La Fume with a big red X over her.
Keldeo blinked, and said, "Ahem! The most hated classic Looney Tunes character of all time."
Victini flew off, and came back quickly, this time holding a picture of Tweety with a big red X over him.
"Oh no you don't!" Keldeo shouted as he whirled around to face Victini, "Tweety's High Flying Adventure was awesome! That's probably why the Nostalgia Critic forgot to review it in his Looney Tunes movie compilation review! It's just too awesome!"
Victini shrank back and said, "Aww come on! Aren't I entitled to my opinion? And anyway, aren't characters that are tiny with big eyes and overly cute voices considered annoying?"
Keldeo's mouth hung open as he looked Victini up and down. Then he said, "Think long and hard about what you just said."
Suddenly, Munna flew in and shouted, "Yeah! Tweety is the best! Get rid of that sign right now! Everyone know Lola is the worst Looney Tunes character!
Victini turned to leave, but rolled his eyes and said, "Sheesh! Who knew Tweety had such devoted fans? Why the heck do you two love him so much?"
Keldeo nervously raised his right forehoof and said, "Eh, wait. I never said I-?"
Munna flew after Victini yelling, "Hey! Come back here! I'm not finished with you!"
Keldeo sighed and put his forehoof back down. "Heh. Well, I guess people can get really passionate about their favorite or least favorite Looney Tunes character. Anyway, about this fanfic. I actually had a hard time finding this one. Why? Well, it turns out the author forgot to select Pepe Le Pew or Penelope as a Character when they published the story, so if you try to find it on FanFicNet by selecting the characters, like you would normally do, the story won't show up. The only way to find it quickly is to Google Search for 'Pepe Le Pew fanfiction'. And the really strange part is that around half of all fanfics with Pepe Le Pew don't have him properly listed as a Character at all, while the other half do. So Google is the only way to ever know they even exist. Weird."
Keldeo shook his head and said, "Well, anyway, this is definitely a story I can sink my critical teeth into, and I'm gonna enjoy doing just that. I mean, we all know how insufferable Pepe Le Pew is right? The cat gets a white stripe painted on her, he thinks she's a skunk and falls in love with her, and the whole cartoon is just him chasing her around and saying lovey-dovey stuff. There's no way you can create a decent fanfic out of that."
Keldeo chuckled and shook his head again, "I mean, how could anything connected with this character possibly be any good? A character so pretentious and repetitive and egotistical and so extremely annoying-."
One reading later. . .
Keldeo was still smiling as he said, "I would like to take this time to apologize to the Pokemon of the Moor of Icirrus for the disappearance of nearly all its berries. You see, after reading this fanfic, I just felt. . . compelled. . . to gather together as many berries as I could and give them to any Skunky and Skuntank I came across."
Keldeo's eyes widened slightly, "I mean. . . wow. . . wow. Arcues, Mew, wow." Keldeo's eyes became even wider as his grin grew bigger and more joyous, "Time and space, Xerneas, Yveltal, WOW! This fanfic is AMAZING! I mean, it's AWESOME! I could gush over this story so much that. . . that's exactly what I'm gonna do!"
Keldeo performed a quick backflip and said, "This is The Super Awesome Amazing Bad Luck of Penelope Pussycat!"
"The story begins not in France, but in America, where we see the first thing this fanfic does right."
Ah, America. They say it is an area of freedom and happiness. And they sure are right. It's so peaceful and quiet.
But I haven't introduced myself, haven't I? My name is Penelope. Penelope Pussycat to be exact. I am a black cat, and a unique one if I say so myself. I am a little shy, and I have been that way all of my life. Nothing bad happened, I was just born that way, I guess.
"The story is told in the first person, from Penelope's perspective. Let me tell ya why that's important. In the cartoons, since Pepe did all the talking while Penelope never really spoke, it added extra emphasis to how helpless and victimized Penelope was when Pepe was chasing her, making Pepe more unlikeable and the situations less funny. By being able to see Penelope's thoughts, and also allowing her to talk later on, it takes a bit of the misery off and allows more opportunity for funny comments."
What is my basic, simple life you ask? Well, I will just make a summary of it. I stroll around. And enjoy every minute of it. Seeing how I am a kitty I don't have to worry at all about being feared of by the nice people in the town. I enjoy the nice sights, the wonderful ocean, and life itself. My life seems to be perfect.
But it really isn't. There is one thing. Just one more thing I would like is to Be acknowledged for being very unique. You see, I can actually stand up tall, hardly any other cats I see can even come close to that. When I stand up tall, I don't need to purr against a person's legs. I can hug one of their legs instead. But no matter how cute I act, They always treat me like the average kitty.
Keldeo's eyes widened in horror and he gasped, "Oh my gosh, it's Rule 63 Austin Saturn! AAAAAAHHHHH!"
Inside the store, I noticed how pretty it looked. On the higher floors of the walls there were a lot of beautiful paintings, paintings I have never seen before. But I had no time to stare at art. There was one thing I have always wanted to do in the antique store.
Play with the manager. According to from what I have overheard from the people who wait in line to get in the antique shop, the manager has some valuable items, and if I could distract her long enough, I could take one home with me. I normally don't like to do sneaky things to humans, as they are actually nice and friendly. But I couldn't buy anything, after all, I am only a cat. So I decided to make my move.
"So after distracting the manager with her cuteness, Penelope manages to steal. . ." Keldeo chuckled in disbelief and continued, "The most evil looking artifact since the Alicorn Amulet."
"Oh dear... Are you hungry? Is that why you came here? Well, I guess I can get a treat for you in the fridge." The manager went west and entered a door, which I assumed was the kitchen.
I quickly went onward behind the counter, and looked around to see what I could take. There was all sorts of valuables, but I didn't want anything too precious, as I only wanted something simple. So I looked some more and saw it. A black mirror covered in hearts. I picked it up and looked into it to make sure it worked. And it did. I could see myself in the mirror. I held on to it and ran out of the store and into the streets.
Purr-fect. I got something unique for once, maybe I can use this for something...
"Use it for what? Taking control of Tornadus, Thundurus, and Landorus and changing them from their Incarnate Fromes into their Therian Formes?" Keldeo asked cluelessly.
Keldeo then became thoughtful and said, "However, I gotta say that having Penelope steal the mirror that causes her problems is also very important. You see, by having Penelope do something wrong first instead of making her the innocent victim of circumstances, it allows us to be laugh at her Pepe induced plight, because she really did bring this upon herself."
"So, Penelope brings the mirror back to her home in an abandoned park where she is suddenly chased by a woman with pink hair."
There was suddenly the sound of an audience full of people laughing. Keldeo stood with a straight face, waiting for the laughter to die down. Then he said, "I'm serious. You think I'm joking? See for yourself."
The next day I woke up in my leaf bed, with the recent fireworks show giving me encouragement to explore more, and see what this mirror can do. I stood up from the bed, and dug up the mirror to get ready to carry it around.
Crack!
I thought I heard a noise, so I quickly turned around toward the gate, still standing up, to see if someone noticed me. I caught a glimpse of a female human with pink hair hide into the bushes.
Weird. I guess she is one of those photographers that likes to take pictures of historic monuments.
I decided to continue on my way. I jumped over the gate with the mirror in hand, and got on my fours and ran forward toward the marketplace, only to be stopped by a scream coming from behind me.
"STOP RIGHT NOW! That is too dangerous for you to hold!" I stood up and looked behind me, to see that the same woman I saw hiding in the bushes was running toward me.
Keldeo stifled his laughter with his hoof and said, "Okay, if this were any other kind of fanfic, I'd complain about this. But the fact that this is so loony that it sticks out even in the Looney Tunes universe, and yet is just glossed over like no big deal, is just too good to not appreciate!"
"So, the pink haired woman catches up to Penelope and grabs her."
"Ah ha! I got ya, you little mischief maker! Now give me the mirror before it does harm to you!" She wanted the mirror badly, but she wasn't the antique store owner, so I did not want to let it get stolen again. In a panic, I tried to talk to her.
"No, you don't understand. This mirror is mine! I honestly got it!" I exclaimed to the woman, but I knew that it wouldn't work.
"Keep telling yourself that," Keldeo said flatly, "In fact, here, let me help you out." Keldeo then reached over and held up a bullseye that said, "TARGET FOR LAZER GUIDED KARMA" on it in big red letters.
After all, everything I say comes out as "Meow, Meow" anyways.
But it did, or at least I thought it did, when the woman stopped and dropped me to scream.
"AAAAAAH!" Victini shouted as he flew by.
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna shouted as she also flew by in hot pursuit of Victini.
"Are they still fighting over Tweety and Lola?" Keldeo asked in disbelief. Then he shook off his confusion and said, "Anyway, Penelope runs under a ladder, but trips on a crack in the sidewalk, causing her to drop the mirror and break it, which causes the woman to run away screaming."
Laughter once again filled the area. Keldeo waited for it to stop and said, "I'm still not joking."
I tripped, and landed on a small crack in the ground that was under the ladder, which caused the mirror to fly out of my hand. The woman ran beside me, and jumped up in the air toward it.
"No! I can't let this happen, not now!" She reached out for it, when the mirror hit hard on the cement.
The mirror was broken, and shattered into many shards, as I laid flat on the cement crack, under the ladder where a bucket of white paint loomed over me...
"I can't believe it! The mirror broke? Oh no..." The woman saw in horror that I was laying on the crack in the cement underneath the ladder. She stepped back, inch by inch, and then ran toward the park area, screaming all the way.
"I mean, seriously, it's like that scene from the end of the episode Tough Luck from Jackie Chan Adventures," Keldeo said, looking about ready to crack up with laughter, "I mean, it's like a complete list of superstitions. Stepping on a crack, going under a ladder, breaking a mirror, and hey, she's a black cat! Did she cross her own path? Can you cross your own path?" Keldeo thought on this for a moment.
What's her problem? Sure, I broke a mirror, and fell on a crack that was right under this ladder, which is supposed to be the worst case of bad luck ever, but it can't be that bad.
"I just love it when characters lampshade their own situations," Keldeo said with a smile.
I slowly turned around, got on my fours, and proceeded to head back to the park to see where the woman went. I just put my foot off of the cement, when the painter on top of the ladder shrieked.
"Oh no... SKUNK! Get away, or I will call animal protection!" The painter seemed to be yelling at me.
But I wasn't a skunk, not at all! People didn't complain about this before. I proceeded to walk back to one of the mirror shards and turned around. I quickly saw that a white stripe was suddenly on my back!
"So, it doesn't take long for Penelope to realize that some paint had fallen on her, so she runs back to the park to clean it off in the fountain. But. . ."
Keldeo sighed and said, "Yeah, it's just about that time, isn't it?"
"Ah, there you are!" From what I could tell from the voice, it had a french accent.
Wait a minute, a french accent? But ships rarely come to this town! After all, it is only the start of spring, and it's too cold to make the trip here.
"Ah, le petite femme skunk! I have got you, and now we will spend our time at the casbah!" I turned my head backwards, and I could see a black cat with a white stripe just like mine standing up straight behind me. He then put his arms around me again, and proceeded to kiss me. Then the odor intensified, and the putrid smell entered my nose even more.
Wait a minute. "Femme Skunk?" Doesn't that mean female skunk? If that is what he meant, then that means... He is in love with me! He is the one stinking up the place!
"So, Penelope tries running away from Pepe, which goes about as well as when Rainbow Dash tries to fly away from Pinkie Pie," Keldeo remarked.
But once again, he suddenly came from behind me, and proceeded to hug around my neck.
"Don't go looking for zee casbah on your own, I will take you there!" Why won't he get that I am not a skunk? How aggressive can you get?
The odor entered my nose again, the putrid stench, it was getting stronger with every kiss he gave me. Eventually it got so strong, I screamed.
"AHH! LET ME GO! THE ODOR IS AWFUL!" I tried and tried to let him know that I wasn't a skunk, but he seemed to not be paying attention to me.
"See how much funnier it is when Penelope can actually respond verbally?" Keldeo explained.
"So, Penelope ends up losing consciousness from Le Pew's stench, and wakes up on the very top of the Eiffel Tower while the Cloverfield monster destroys Paris."
There was the sound of an audience gasping.
Keldeo stared in disbelief and said, "Wha-? Oh come on! That time I was joking!"
I woke up on cement. It felt like it was a short area of cement, so I stood up straight to see where I was, I looked around and found no sign of the french skunk, with only a door in front of me.
Phew! Thank goodness that annoying skunk is gone. I don't get why he wanted to kiss me, though. I bet that he just wanted a friend. Too bad I can't help him now.
I looked up at the door, and noticed a sign on the door that showed the words "I will be back tonight at midnight, currently looking for a antique at the antique store.- Marisa".
"So, Penelope enters the cabin through a window hoping that Marisa will clean the paint off of her instead of, oh, I don't know, scream that there's a skunk in her cabin and threaten to call Animal Control like the painter did. Plus, isn't this breaking in and entering? First theft and now this? Wow, she sure is earning her toment!"
It was then that I heard a knocking on the door leading outside. I quickly stood up and ran to the door, and carefully undid the unlock switch.
Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!" (1)
"Ah, so you decided to choose zee peaceful place, no?" It was the french skunk, with his odor entering my nose once again. I quickly slammed the door and locked it, only for the lock to break It was then that the skunk moved to the window and opened it, letting himself inside. The window then closed shut, and the skunk locked it.
That little stinker! He locked the last door I could have used to get out!
"Now, if this were one of the cartoons, we'd probably just resume the repetitive chase scene with the occasional bit of mild slapstick," Keldeo said. Then he threw his head back and shouted, "BOOOOORING!"
Keldeo then smiled warmly and said, "Instead of that, we get to see a more. . . calmer, gentler side of Pepe as the two of them sit down at the kitchen table."
The skunk then proceeded to lift me up, and then move me to the kitchen of the small cabin. He sat me down in one of the chairs carefully, making sure not to drop me.
At least he isn't one of those poachers I hear about in town. Maybe he is nice after all!
He then ran over to the other side of the table and got into the chair. He was sitting across from me. I then noticed his stench started to weaken.
Maybe if he is happy enough, his stink will be gone! And maybe he could then be able to understand that I am not a skunk!
"Um... Hello. What is your name?" I asked him as clearly as I could, hoping he could understand me. Luckily for me, he did.
"My name? Zee name is Pepe, Pepe Le Pew is my name." Now that I got his name, I could continue with the plan.
"Oh Pepe, would you like us to have a nice dinner?" I heard from a human couple on the way to the antique shop one time that lovers always have a nice dinner on their first date, if this worked, I could completely kill off his odor, and then I could convince him to open the window, which would allow me to lock him out. Luckily, it worked!
"Oh, yes! That would be great, my darling. What would you like to get?" It was working, but now he needed to know my name, as it could work better if he knew my name.
"Call me Penelope. Penelope Pussycat. And I will look around for some food." I hoped that the "cat" part of my name would let him know my true identity, but he didn't seem to notice.
Applejack: "Hint-hint!"
I stood up out of the chair, and walked to a little compartment with bags of cat food.
I hope this works... I grabbed the cat food and took it. I went back to the table and sat down the bag of cat food in the middle.
"Sorry if this isn't what you wanted... If you like, I can make a better dinner." I had a bad feeling he would not accept the cat food, so I had to quickly think of a backup plan.
"Ah, that will work just fine. How long can I wait before we continue with zee date?" He didn't seem to have any sort of time he wanted to do it, as he seemed to be more interested in loving me than going out on a date with me.
I quickly remembered something: The air conditioner! It had a door, and if I hid in there, he would never find me. I decided to make the move to play the waiting game.
"As long as we can, let me get it ready." I jumped out of the chair and ran into the room before he could see my intentions.
Stu: "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" (2)
"So. . . Penelope goes to hide from an Arch-Toon that can find her wherever she is through offscreen teleportation. . . in a tiny enclosed space that will only make his stink worse if he goes in there with her," Keldeo said slowly. Then he smiled, tapped his snout with his left forehoof, and said, "Aha! But Penelope doesn't know about Pepe's 'special seeking skills,' so this is not bad writing. What we have here is a little something called Dramatic Irony."
Dramatic Irony: A plot device to create situations where the reader knows much more about the episodes and the resolutions before the chief character or characters.
"We know that Pepe's going to find Penelope inside the air conditioner, and thus trap her in a tiny, enclosed space with him and his foul odor, but Penelope doesn't. That creates anticipation and curiosity for the reader. We know what's coming, and that makes us want to see Penelope's reaction even more."
"Oh darling, have you finished your gourmet dinner for zee two of us?" It was Pepe, and he was coming toward the air conditioner! Before I could jump out of the air conditioner, however, the door opened.
"Ah, there you are, you found a good place for us to eat, no? I brought zee snacks here!" Pepe squeezed himself into the air conditioner, getting the two of us stuck to each other due to the small space, and then he shut the door, causing it to lock.
The door to the air conditioner was locked. The small hole leading to the outside was too small, and I was stuck with Pepe, who's odor started to intensify again, causing the putrid smell to enter my nostrils. Pepe then held his arms around me, and started to kiss me.
"Ah... This is a good resting place, no?" He seemed to be calm, but the stink still intensified, and it kept getting stronger and stronger. With the small space in the air conditioner, it would probably surround me completely. I had no choice but to speak to him, hoping that he would stop this.
"Pepe... Please, you stink..." I managed to say to him.
"What did you say, my darling? I am as cute as ink?"
Furmo: "Cut your tongue out? No such luck, more's the pity!"
Honeysuckle: "Wot was that you said?"
Furmo: "Cut your tongue out? No no, my duck, yore far too pretty!"(3)
"Pepe, you stink. Badly, please, just calm down and rest for me..." I managed to say, with the bad stink entering my nose to the point it was like oxygen to me.
"You love me badly? Aw, thank you, mon cherie!"
Furmo: "Oh, give yore wailin' a rest an' pass the beer."
Honeysuckle: "Wot was that you said, Furmo Log a Log?"
Furmo: "I said 'My love's unfailin', nothin' but the best for you my dear!'"(3)
He kissed me some more and the odor got stronger. The stink was so strong, so annoying, that I lost my temper.
"Pepe... Pepe Le pew... YOU STINK! YOU SMELL AND HAVE A TERRIBLE ODOR!" I exclaimed at the top of my lungs, hoping he would know what I meant.
"I... Stink? Yes! I do! It proves it, the stink of l'amour is stronger than any other." Pepe was oblivious to my statements, even when I exclaimed them.
"You know, this would make for a good Febreeze commercial," Keldeo said thoughtfully.
(Beautiful piano music)
Febreeze: Odor Odes
"I LOVE YOU, PEPE LE PEW
YOUR GRACEFULL HOPPING
AND YOUR FRENCH ACCENT
I LOVE YOU, PEPE LE PEW
BUT SOMETIMES YOU STINK"
(Air horn)
(Hip-Hop/Rap music)
(Penelope whips out a bottle of Febreeze and starts spraying Pepe's tail)
Announcer: "Febreeze air effects doesn't just mask. It clears away-."
Penelope: "Umm. . . I just used up this whole bottle and it's not working!"
Announcer: ". . . GET OUT OF MY COMMERICAL!"
"So, Penelope passes out again, gosh is this going to become a regular thing with her? But this time she's woken up by Marisa, who happens to be the pink haired woman from earlier."
"HEY! WAKE UP!" A strange, happy voice exclaimed. I opened my eyes, with my nose still feeling awful due to the odor, to see the woman with purple hair that I saw running toward the park earlier in front of me.
"Oh, come on, keep your colors straight!" Keldeo complained.
My paws were on the bed next to the air conditioner, I looked to my right and noticed the door of the Air conditioner was broken, with the sides of the door pulled open wide.
I am out! By some miracle, I am away from that stink!
The woman smiled at my reaction to the broken door.
"Like it? I didn't do it, but it looked like someone with a big rear end forced his way out, don't you think? When I came home I found you knocked out in the air conditioner, with a weird note in french next to you." She giggled, apparently laughing at her own joke about the door.
I grabbed for the note, but I had to lay back down on the bed due to the pain in my nose. Thankfully the woman knew what I wanted.
"You want this, right? Here, take it. It's a strange note, but not as strange as you, little kitty." She gave me the note, and on it, was a note written in french and english.
"Bonjour!
I decided that zee date would be better off tomorrow night, as I think I know just zee place for it! Don't go looking for me, as the path of l'amour will guide you to me tonight!
- Pepe Le Pew"
I went into a panic, that skunk still was after me! Did he really think my stripe was a work of art?
"So Marisa cleans the paint of Penelope, and it's revealed that she can somehow communicate with her."
"Hold still, as I will have to flip you over to remove this..." She held me on the sides and flipped me over. She dipped the paintbrush in the water bucket and moved the brush back and forth on my tail. She then put the bucket under the bed.
I looked at my tail, and saw the white stripe was completely gone, I looked just like a normal cat again!
"Thank you... By chance, are you Marisa?" I asked, taking a chance to see if she could really understand me.
And she did.
"Yes. My name is Marisa, but my last name I will keep secret for now. To be honest, I am considered a prodigy at my school, I got to move out from my family's house, got a job as a researcher for this city, and graduated from high school earlier than my peers. Because of this, I am 16, but here I am, working like a young adult. What is your name, little kitty?"
She could understand me! That means she was special, if she could graduate from the humans' high school that I hear about before she needed to, then that means she was special. And I was special. What could this lead to?
"Yeah, it's never explained how Marisa can talk to animals," Keldeo shrugged, "Maybe she bumped her head in Littlest Pet Shop?"
A black and white image of Blythe Baxter with all the Littlest Pet Shop Pets appeared as sad music played. A caption read: In Memory of Littlest Pet Shop (November 10, 2012 – June 4, 2016)
"Marisa then finally explains what exactly that weird mirror that Penelope stole is."
"That mirror, is The Mirror of Evol.
Keldeo blinked and said, "Wait, what?"
The Mirror of Evol.
Keldeo blinked again and said, "Wait, what?"
The Mirror of Evol.
Keldeo nodded slowly, and he said ". . . . Wait, what?"
The Mirror of Evol.
". . . . . . Did Bill Cipher make it?" Keldeo asked.
It is a cursed mirror that was rumored to have been made out of love that was out of control...
"Oooooh, so it was made during the very first Heart and Hooves Day in Equestria when the Love Poison caused an entire kingdom to fall! Of course! Starswirl must have tossed it through the Equestria Girls mirror along with the rest of the dangerous magical stuff he dumped into the human world."
Keldeo then frowned and said, "Although, I'm not sure how it got from the multicolored human world to the Looney Tunes world. Okay, this is getting a little too confusing."
If it is broken, then bad luck will cover the being who shattered it. Bad luck that will give the user unwanted surprises and apparently a magical curse. I was looking into you, as I noticed that you were special, and that you had the ability to stand up straight. So when I noticed you come out with the mirror of evol, I was worried for you. I was researching it as part of my new interest, so I tried to stop you, but I couldn't..."
"Okay, now this is clever!" Keldeo said eagerly, "Now we have a reason for why Penelope keeps getting a white stripe painted on her again and again. It's a magical curse that causes her to become so unlucky instead of just random chance."
"So, Marisa lets Penelope stay safe in her house while she goes out, presumably to do more research on the mirror, which leads into kind of a nice heartwarming moment for our unlucky pussycat."
"I will have to go out once again... But now that I know where you will be, I won't be as long. I should be back in an hour or two." She then closed the door to the house, leaving me inside alone.
But I didn't care, even though I was weak from being locked in the air conditioner, at least I know that Marisa cares about me.
She cares for me... No one has ever acknowledged me for who I am..
"Night eventually falls, and Penelope hears a knock on the door. Now, the smart thing to do would be assume it's Pepe again and ask who it is before opening the door. . . so Penelope just opens the door without thinking," Keldeo said with a deadpanned expression.
I heard a knock at the door. Marisa must have locked the door for my safety. I walked to the door and opened it, getting ready to help Marisa if need be. But when I opened the door, I smelt a foul odor... Again.
"Hello cherie." I slammed the door on Pepe's face, causing him to fall on the doorstep, and I locked the door.
If I got the stripe off, then how is he still interested in me? Unless-
I looked at my tail, and the white stripe was back. I felt it with my paw, and it wasn't wet.
"EEEEEEEEK!" I screamed in horror as the stripe seemed to not want to go away.
Keldeo looked disappointed. "Oh. . . well that's lame. So, the curse just makes the white stripe magically appear after every time it's washed off? I thought it was gonna be clever, like, everywhere she goes a can of paint will spill on her, or a bottle of white hair dye would fall out of a window. Like, the curse would be a retroactive way of explaining how she kept getting that stripe on her in all of those cartoons. This is kinda underwhelming."
"Well, anyway, Pepe breaks a window to get in, but Penelope escapes the house and tries to run to the fountain."
Perfect, if I can just jump into the fountain, this stink and stripe will be removed!
I leaped toward the fence, until Pepe popped up in front of my face.
"Can't escape an Arch-Toon, Penelope!" Keldeo quipped.
"So, Pepe grabs Penelope by paw and drags her to a French restaurant for a dinner date. Penelope goes along with, hoping that if he sees everyone else run away from his stench it would make him sad enough to quit."
Don't worry Penelope, you will be saved, they will run away from Pepe, he will get sad, and then I can go back to Marisa.
I really hoped for that to happen, but seeing how things were going right now, I wasn't sure if that would happen...
"Turns out she was right to not be too sure, because when they get to the restaurant, this happens:"
"HOLY SMOKE! TWO REAL SKUNKS! I CAN'T STAND THEIR TERRIBLE ODOR!" The man then ran out of the door, which caused the people around us to run out, screaming "PEW!" as they ran out.
I knew it, we will never get served this way!
But Pepe didn't think the same way. He actually expressed happiness as he sat me down on the chair.
"Ah, they noticed that we are wonderful lovers, no?" I put my head on the table in disbelief as he sat down on the opposite end of me.
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAH!
Keldeo smiled goofily and shrugged.
At least his stink is not as strong... Maybe he can actually handle this. I hope not, I want to go home!
Then a waiter, oblivious to what just happened, came out of a room, holding a slip of paper.
Is he really going to take our order? Or will he run away like I hope he does?
He seemed to stand over the table, and even though I can clearly smell Pepe's stench, he doesn't seem to be bugged by it. He then proceeded to ask us what we wanted.
"Ah, I see you two lovers are wearing costumes, are you planning on marriage? Maybe you can go to the costume making business. But anyway, may I take your order?" He said with a stuffed up nose.
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAH!
"Wow, two in a row! Oh boy, I hope this story doesn't pull a Superman 3 and blows up the wah-wah machine!" Keldeo said worriedly.
"Ah, well, I will have zee spaghetti, if you have it. What will you have, my darling?" I was confused. Why did he order spaghetti, which from what I hear is not french food, in a french restaurant? I then placed my order, ignoring any doubts I have about us not getting served.
I doubt I will get understood, but here it goes...
"I guess I will take water and spaghetti, please." The man sniffled, and written down what I ordered.
"I shall get your order placed, and then we will fix it to the best of our ability." He then went back into the door leading to the restaurant's kitchen.
I can't believe that happened. The man understood me, thought we were in costumes, and didn't even catch a whiff of Pepe's terrible odor. What is going on?
Keldeo put his left forehoof to his chin in thought, and he said, "I'm guessing the mirror's curse is what gave this guy a stuffed-up nose and allowed him to understand animals so the date could continue. . . but wait, Marisa could understand Penelope before the mirror broke! But she is an archeologist researcher. . . not to mention a prodigy. . . so I guess she found some other artifact earlier that-."
Keldeo waved his forehoof and put it down, "Aw, whatever. Marisa is apparently the mysterious mentor or something that helps the main character and gives advice, but I don't know. I think she's more like the Toads in the Toad Houses in the New Super Mario Bros. games. You'll gladly take what they have, but it's not like it makes much of a difference. You can beat those games easily without going to a single one."
"So, now that everything is calmer, we get a more relaxing, character driven scene of Pepe and Penelope just having a little bit of small talk."
"Pepe, can I ask you something? What does mon cherie mean?" Seeing how he said it a lot to me, I was worried it meant he was actually in love with me.
"Ah... Mon Cherie. That is a term I have been using all of my life, to use for the one I love. My pupil taught it to me." Well, it did mean that he really was in love with me. But Pupil? I had to ask that as well.
"Who is the pupil who taught you that phrase?" I just had to know.
"Oh, zee pupil, well, a long time ago, I was zee teacher at zee university. I had a young pupil, admiring me to find l'amour of her own. She gave me suggestions for phrases she could use to woo zee ladies every day! But when the school closed, I decided to go on my own path in France, and now America to find L'amour for me."
So that is why he came to this American city! He just wanted a change of pace in his life, that's all... Great. Now I am really stuck with this crazy skunk...
"Oh no, I hope they're not foreshadowing an appearance by Fifi La Fume!" Keldeo said in horror, but then he composed himself and said, "But aside from that, it's nice to see Pepe share a little of his backstory. It helps to see him more as character and less as an obstacle. As it should be."
"So, the date continues and . . . it ends up going rather well believe it or not."
"Ah, now we can continue with zee business we started last night. Come now, let's eat!" He grabbed the little metal stick and put it in the spaghetti. He then pulled it back out and put it in his mouth, and then started to chew it, only to swallow it.
"See darling? This is how you use zee fork to eat this." He could tell I have never really ate in a restaurant before. And then he stared at me.
I have to eat this? Well, OK...
I got out the fork, and then quietly wrapped the spaghetti around the fork. I then put it in my mouth, and felt the taste in my mouth. It was so good!
What is this? This... This is the best thing I have ever tasted! I haven't ever ate anything so good!
I was happy again, regardless of the stink. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all!
After we ate, Pepe payed the bill, and we left the restaurant without the waiter noticing us being skunks.
Keldeo had a delighted smile on his face. "Well, that was. . . nice. . . It was downright adorable. I actually wouldn't mind seeing that animated. Hay, I'd pay money to see this animated! Also, I've gotta commend TheDreamingHawk for not resorting to that overused Lady and The Tramp reference here. I mean, it would've been so easy to stick that here, but he didn't. Hey, maybe that was the joke. The mirror's curse somehow allowed them to eat spaghetti at a French restaurant, and yet we still avoided that overused spaghetti kiss cliché."
"What we got instead was a very nice way of showing how Penelope is slowly warming up to Pepe while also showing that Pepe is not a bad guy. Yeah, he chases the girl he loves like crazy, but that's just it: he does love her and he knows how to be a gentleman. So, when he finally gets her to stop running, he calms down. He took her to a nice restaurant, helped her get comfortable, picked out something tasty, and payed the bill. I mean, she just admitted to herself that she was happy in spite of his odor. Character development!"
"Pepe even seems to somehow know what Penelope wants before she knows she wants it, as seen when he grabs a fish out a trash can and feeds it to her, resulting in this:"
I took it from him, then stuffed it in my mouth. I haven't had a fish in a while, so it was worth a try.
And I was happy.
The taste... It tastes so good! Even better than the spaghetti! This is the best night I have ever had with eating out!
I was so happy, that I was able to slip a "Thank you." to Pepe. Pepe then smiled.
Keldeo sighed, still smiling, and said, "But yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'That's all nice, Keldeo, but this is a Looney Tunes fanfic! Where's the Looney-ness?' Well, don't worry, cause here it comes! Penelope still doesn't like Pepe's stench, so she decides to head into a perfume store to mask his odor."
Of course! If I can go to the perfume shop, I can spray Pepe, and then I can easily stand the rest of the night!
So I tried to run over there, but Pepe grabbed my arm and held me back.
So I turned around in his arms, and punched him in the face. But he still looked at me with a grin.
"Flirt." He then proceeded to quickly get back up, and then he started hopping after me as I entered the perfume shop, causing all of the people inside of there to run as my stench slowly approached them.
At least they can't stop me. I got to do this, and fast!
I looked up at the shelf, and noticed that there were 5 types of perfume on it. If I looked for other kinds, Pepe would catch me, so I had to just grab one. I grabbed the blueberry kind.
I like blueberries all of the time, I can like him for one night.
So I turned around and opened my arms wide, waiting for Pepe to enter, and when he hopped his way in, I got the bottle ready.
"I hope there are blueberries in France, Pepe." I aimed at his tail, and sprayed as hard as I could, but the fresh scent didn't last long, the stink cloud from his tail absorbed it in, causing his stink to get worse, and to get stronger. But he didn't mind.
"Oh but of course! You want to give me all of your love in a bottle? No need for that, as zee l'amour will only require you." I turned around and grabbed the other bottles, seeing the remaining 4 labels: Grassland, Egg, Tomato, and Limburger.
"What idiot makes egg, tomato, or limburger perfume?" Keldeo asked incredulously, "Is this the same place where Mike and Sully get their odorant?"
Mike: "Can I borrow your odorant?"
Sulley: "Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster."
Mike: "You got, uh, Low Tide?"
Sulley: "No."
Mike: "How about Wet Dog?"
Sulley: "Yep. Stink it up."(4)
I grabbed the limburger and the egg, and got them ready to spray. But Pepe was slowly getting closer to me, so I uncapped the two and threw them on his tail, causing it to spill on the tail. Pepe actually noticed it this time.
"Oh, now 3 bottles? Thank you, but this action is not needed when I have you." The odor intensified even more, to the point it was like I was locked in a garbage can.
"This kicks off another chase scene ending with Penelope hiding in a hole near Marisa's cabin."
I heard Pepe jump right over the hole. But it wasn't good for long.
Pinkie Pie: "WHAT'S THE REAL REASON YOU WON'T COME TO GUMMY'S PARTY?!"
"Hello bebe." I turned around and saw the skunk was in front of me in the small cave I dug. He then proceeded to kiss me.
"How the heck did you get in here?" I wondered how he could hop over the hole, but then get into the hole after that.
"Ah, I am zee locksmith of love, no? This is zee perfect place for us to kiss!"
"Of course Penelope escapes back to the cabin, where Melisa cleans her stripe back off and uses tomato juice to get Pepe's stink of off her."
Keldeo sighed in annoyance and said, "And, yes, I can hear all you Wild Kratts fans out there complaining, so I'll say it: using tomato juice to get rid of skunk smell doesn't work. The real formula is 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide, 1/4 cup of baking soda, and 1 teaspoon of liquid hand soap. There. Satisfied?"
"So, anyway, Marisa then reads the legend of the Mirror of Evol out of a book she found."
"According to a research book I have gotten, the legend of the Mirror of Evol goes like this... Long ago, there was a tribe living far away in a kingdom. They made many wonderful relics, usually made to cure diseases or to bring happiness. But one day, a strange wizard came into the kingdom, and forced the tribe to make him a mirror that would help him find true love. But as the tribe tried to make a mirror, they couldn't find the materials needed to create the outer layer of the mirror. Only the glass could be found. Enraged, the wizard demanded that they use any kind of material to make the outer layer, as for him, all that he wanted in the mirror was the power he wanted to store in it. So the tribe
Munna flew back in and she and Keldeo sang:
"EX – PO – SI – TION! EX – PO – SI – TION! RUSH – IT – OUT! AS – AP!"
Munna flew off and Keldeo said, "Yeah, yeah. Long story short, a wizard made the mirror, bad stuff happened to him, he killed a king, and his tribe was cursed. Penelope doesn't believe it. . . even though she literally just saw the stripe magically appear on her, so Marisa literally throws her out of the cabin in order to get her to see the truth."
"You think that the white stripe is just a bad coincidence? Well, I will prove to you that it is not! You will see that all of that bad luck you gained is stuck unless you can find a way out of it." She then grabbed me and walked to the door. I started to get worried.
"What are you doing? What about the protection?" I was confused about what she was so mad about. But before I got an answer, she opened the door and threw me outside, slamming the door shut and locking it so I couldn't get back into the house.
"Yes! Zee female lady skunk, and she is all mine!" It was Pepe, and somehow he quickly spotted me.
"Penelope tries to escape on the river by using a large piece of bark as a boat, but, by the Magic of Merrie Melodies, Pepe appears on it with her and the two are now floating downstream straight towards a-."
"WATERFALL! Pepe, do something!" I was so scared to the point I even hugged Pepe as tight as I could for protection, but he didn't seem to notice. Was this the end already? Was I meant to die like this? I certainly hoped not...
"Hey! Be grateful! At least you aren't tied up!" Keldeo argued.
Pacha: "Uh-oh."
Kuzco: "Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."
Pacha: "Yep."
Kuzco: "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"
Pacha: "Most likely."
Kuzco: ". . .Bring it on." (5)
"Pepe, help me!" I hugged him tightly and covered my face in his tail (Which still stinks badly) as the bark went off of the waterfall, and we were about ready to fall to our doom.
CRAAAAAASH!
Porky Pig: "Ebbe-ebbe-ebbe-that's all folks!"
"No, no, no. That's not the end," Keldeo admitted, "Pepe, being an Arch-Toon, simply reaches into Hammerspace and pulls out a parachute."
"Your are no longer timid, no?" I looked up at Pepe, who had somehow opened a parachute, saving our lives. The parachute slowly descended down to the grassy ground, where I then let go of Pepe.
"Thank you so much! You just saved my life!" I was happy that he did such a thing.
"Ah, that was zee parachute of love, saving us from zee trap of death, no? But now, we are alone, and we will have a beautiful time together at my home! MUUUWH!" He gave me a big kiss on the check.
I sighed. Even though Pepe saved me, I didn't like the fact that he was so insistent on loving me, and that with that love came that putrid smell. But I knew the only way to get back to the town was to go with him... And I was scared to death about what might happen.
Oh Marisa, why did you get so impatient with me? I guess I could find my parents if I knew where they were...
Looking for my parents, however was a bad idea... I guess I haven't mentioned them at all, haven't I? Well, I don't really like them, since I was able to move out from
Munna flew back in and she and Keldeo sang:
"EX – PO – SI – TION! EX – PO – SI – TION! RUSH – IT – OUT! AS – AP!"
Munna flew off and Keldeo said, "Yeah, yeah. Long story short, her parents tried to force her to get a boyfriend, so she got fed up with them and ran away from home."
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed as she leaned back in and quickly flew off again.
"So then Pepe takes Penolope to his house in the forest, which turns out to be a huge fancy mansion?!" Keldeo exclaimed with wide eyes.
"Ah, yes. Zee old house was an ugly cabin, but when I learned about remodeling, they gladly changed the wallpaper, added some more rooms in this mansion and then made it bigger, and voila! Now we have zee romantic spot." At least his taste in furniture was more cleaner than his stench. But speaking of which, I had another question.
"Did you pay the bill?" I wondered if they noticed his stench.
"No, as for some reason, the remodel, I come to them and offer them money, and they run. Why?" That explained why he didn't look like a billionaire, as even though the house was in great taste, he wasn't wearing any clothes or anything fancy (Though then again, what animal would?).
"Bugs Bunny?" Keldeo offered.
"So, you're probably wanting some more Looney-ness by now. . ." Keldeo whistled long and loud, and then he said, ". . . and this fanfic dives headfirst into a big old storm of Looney-ness!"
Unable to contain his laughter, Keldeo chuckled and said, "First of all, when Pepe takes her into the dining room and offers her more fish, Penelope goes into an insane feeding frenzy!"
He then laid the huge tray in front of me, and then sat down.
I was licking my lips like crazy. I loved fish! Ever since Pepe got it for me last night, I wanted more. I just liked how nice it tasted. And as I was trying to recreate the taste in my mouth, Pepe opened the lid of the tray, revealing a huge pile of fish for the two of us!
"Like it? Don't worry, I have a lot more if you need it. Now, let's eat!" But before he could pick up a fish, I grabbed a huge handful of fish and stuffed it in my mouth.
Yes... The juicy taste... The wonderful taste! This is so good... Must eat MORE!
After I swallowed the handful, I reached for more, and then stuffed it again in my mouth, while Pepe just quietly cut and ate his fill.
A minute later, the tray was empty, as I ate all of the fish, while Pepe was only on his second one. Pushing the plate up to Pepe, I got ready to ask him for more.
"May I have some more?" I then let out a big belch, which then entered Pepe's nose, causing him to cover his nose with his hands.
"Le pew! I see zee skunk likes my recipe, no? Then I shall make some more!" He then ran out of the dinning room, quickly running to the kitchen, leaving his leftovers behind.
Ha! My burp sure was stinky! Though I should have handled it better, I don't think he really minds that much. Funny how my burp caused him to cover his nose, yet his stench is far worse than my burp.
He then came back quickly with another big tray, pushing aside the other tray that I cleaned out.
"Enjoy, again! Though I would ask of you to eat less fish at once..." He let go of his nose, meaning my stench was gone from his perspective. He opened the tray, and I stared in amazement as there was another huge pile of fish. Pepe seemed to have an endless amount of fish, and they were mine, all mine!
"It's like someone used the Spell Card Polymerization to fuse Daffy Duck and Sylvester!" Keldeo said in amazement.
After Pepe put the handful on his plate, he gave me the go ahead. And then I snapped. Not in an angry way, but in a hyper-active way, by jumping on the table and sitting in the tray. I then grabbed one fish at time and put it in my mouth, swallowing it as fast as a ticket eater at those human fairs. Pepe stared at me with a happy grin as I stuffed myself with all of the fish in the tray.
When I was all done, I laid on my back and relaxed, letting out another burp. (This time saying excuse me) But when I asked for more, Pepe shook his head.
"No cherie, you can not have more, you are already as fat as zee balloon, no?" I looked down, and he was right. I ate so much that I was fat! I guess I really loved all of that fish.
"Scooby Doo, eat your heart out!" Keldeo quipped, "But wait. . ." Keldeo chuckled a bit and then continued, "There's more! The next morning, Pepe actually puts them both on an exercise regimen to get rid of all the cartoony weight Penelope gained. What kind of exercise, you ask?"
He pointed to a little conveyor belt beside the bed. It was one of those treadmills the humans used to exercise.
"What is that for...?" I was getting a little nervous.
"That is zee training workout for us. Zee pump of love isn't ready yet, so I have decided to go and get out this thing for us to workout on." I looked down at his belly and noticed he also gained a tiny bit of weight, but not nearly as much as I had.
"Fish is fattening, no?" I giggled at his comment. But I just wanted this to be over with. I slowly got out of bed and Pepe turned on a fan running behind the treadmill.
"You want me to get on this?" I was already on it, holding the machine, but I wanted to double check if I could use his stuff. He then nodded.
"Oui. But wait for me to get on behind you, then I will start the machine." He stepped on the machine right behind me, where the odor entered my nose.
Ugh. This stinks. I have to workout with him! I can't imagine what it will smell like afterwards...
Gah! This odor... It stinks! It's like I am trapped in a garbage can...
"Now, I will chase you, don't get caught by me!" I was taken by surprise at Pepe's statement, as he held his arms toward my tail. I quickly got the strength to get on my fours, which allowed me to run really fast on the treadmill, trying to get away from the smell. But it was everywhere, I ran into it, I would fall toward it, I couldn't escape it.
I held my breath as I started to pick up the pace. But then the odor still was able to enter my nose, even with my breath mostly held. I ran a little faster, then Pepe then followed me, hitting a button that caused it to accelerate.
I ran like crazy, almost as much as when he first chased me, but I couldn't move off of this thing. But then the odor swirled around the room, causing me to be surrounded by it. The stink was everywhere.
Keldeo held a straight face and said in a calm intellectual tone, "Ah, yes. I believe this is known as the Scooby Doo and Shaggy Workout."
Three pictures taken from Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase appeared. The first one showed Shaggy and Scooby big and fat after eating all the food in the cafeteria, with the caption BEFORE. The second picture showed them running from the Phantom Virus, with the caption DURING. The third picture showed them both as skinny as they normally are, with the caption AFTER.
"AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Keldeo laughed, unable to hold onto to his straight face anymore. "It's like: 'Zoinks, Scoob! It's the Skunk Monster!'"
Keldeo laughed a bit more, then he said, "But wait! There's MORE! As the crown jewel of this story's Looney-ness, Pepe takes a bath in a special mixture he created that causes this to happen!"
In the middle of the floor, was a big jug of pink juice, with a lid As soon as I looked at it, Pepe began to explain what it was.
"This cherie, is L'amour. It is a tank that will give us a wonderful bath... Would you like to go first?" I had no clue what he meant, but then I realized that he meant that the pink juice was some sort of shampoo, meaning he wanted us to look fancy.
"No thanks. How about you?" Maybe it would briefly disable Pepe's odor, or at least make it weaker what it was now.
"OK. Cherie, you are missing out on zee great relaxation!" He then happily unscrewed the lid and jumped in. Through the glass, I could see Pepe relaxing on his side under the juice.
A minute later, he jumped out of the container.
"How do you like? I look clean, no?" Sadly it did not remove his odor, instead, it made it stronger, to the point it smelled like sour garbage. But before I could turn back, My body lost control.
"Madame?" Pepe seemed to be as confused as I was. All of a sudden, I turned around toward him, and started to move closer to him. I quickly realized what was happening: His smell somehow was attracting me! And I couldn't resist.
"You are mine." Were the words I unintentionally let out. I jumped at his body and started to kiss his face nonstop. He enjoyed it at first, but after about a minute he tried to push me away.
"OK madame, we can stop kissing now, we got to get ready for a dance! Madame? MADAME!" He shrieked as I wouldn't stop kissing him on the lips.
Why am I doing this? I hate him! I am not kissing him!
But my body said otherwise. I continued to kiss as he tried to slip out of my reach. Pepe snapped his fingers several times.
"MADAME! PLEASE LET GO OF ME! THE FURNACE GOT OVER STOKED!" He was screaming, as if he was being scared out of his own mind.
"GET HIM! GET HIM!" Keldeo shouted eagerly, "Quick! Play the Benny Hill music!"
I was moving on my fours toward Pepe, who was running away terrified.
"Zee love potion is overdone... My surprise is broken!" He started to cry as he was running away from me.
LOVE POTION? That is why I can't control myself... His odor mixed with the combination of perfumes is causing the perfumes to be super strong... That is why my body is trying to hug him!
Pepe opened the door to the bedroom to hide under the covers, that I quickly locked as I entered inside.
"STOP! Stop now! Or... I will lock you in zee room alone!" But it didn't work, I was being drawn toward him, ready to kiss him, as he moved slowly backwards, he came to a halt at the end of the bed, where I then grabbed him and started to kiss him as fast as my lips were able to.
Oh Pepe... If only you could enter my mind. I don't want to kiss you!
Pepe began to cry, sad that I was being oblivious to anything he asked me.
"Darling... Why did I do this to you?" I was about ready to give him a big hug, when all of a sudden, I stopped.
BZZZZZT!
The smell of the perfumes wore off as I was sprayed with a huge amount of odor from Pepe's tail, causing me to fall off of the bed. Pepe then quietly got off of the bed as well.
"Are you alright? Speak to me!" He was no longer worried, sad, or crying. He was happy to see that I was not under the influence of the perfumes.
And as I slowly regained control of my body, I was relived to find that I wasn't madly in love with him again. But I could only let out two words before I passed out from the odor.
"PEEEEEE YEW!"
Keldeo had been laughing hysterically the entire time. The Benny Hill music stopped as he took a deep breath to calm himself down and said, "Wow. . . okay. I'm with Penelope on this one. We need to take a break after that triple threat of Looney-ness."
Keldeo then promptly collapsed in laughter induced exhaustion.
We'll be right back!