This is the new one-shot I was planning to create. Have fun reading it. Seriously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Messing with the dentist can cost your life~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The coffee was getting cold, and that idiot was staring at the TV like he found the end of the rainbow. Seriously, was all that blood and gore that interesting? Kanda 'che'ed, smacking Lavi's head.

"Oww, Yuu~chan! Wha' was tha' fer? I'm quiet, ain't I?"

"Quit starring at those stupid horror movies. Your coffee's getting cold."

"Aww, Yuu~chaaan!" God, his sing-song voice was so annoying…"You're worried for me?"

"Worried for the cup. It'll leave stains, and I'm the one who's washing the dishes. And don't call me by my first name, idiot."

"Too late, too late!" The redhead was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Your reaction is too late!" Kanda silenced him with a dagger-like glare.

"What the hell are you doing at my place? I don't remember calling you here."

"But! But Yuu-chan never calls anyone 'ere, 'xcept that ol' lady. What was her name, again? I think she cleaned your apartment or sumthin'-"

"Tch. What do you care anyway? If you came here to stuff your snout then scram! I don't need freeloaders in here."

"Waah, Yuu-cha--" The redhead backed away into the front door.

"Ok, O-ok, Kanda, jus'—" He gulped loudly, still extending his hands protectively. "…c-calm d-down, put that…knife away… See? I'm leavin'!"

"It's not a knife! It's a katana, dumb ass!"

"What's the difference, they both cut! Ok, Ok I'm leavin'!"

The door closed just in time. Kanda sighed, irritated. He lowered the sword that obviously did not belong in the apartment of a college student. "That idiot…"

He scanned the room, finding it empty and cool. It was almost naked; just a sofa and a TV were living in it. He liked that emptiness; it spoke without words, leaving room for thoughts, ideas and just dreams. Kanda absentmindedly let his eyes on the floor, following the strange pattern of the warm wood.

The Japanese slowly reached up for his hair-tie, letting the mane fall on the shoulders. His hair was the object of envy, hatred, and bullying on the college guys, and an object of admiration, shrilly squealing, and drooling on the girls' part. Talk about a rock and a hard place. The teen frowned. Tch. The laundry and the dishes were still molding in their places, creating a happy ecosystem for cholera.

At the thought, Kanda felt a brusque pain in his jaw. He suddenly needed to beat somebody up, or throw himself in the closest well. The pain was high pitched, like a bat-frequency wave that suddenly split the eardrums. Kanda mentally scratched the blackboard, creating a bloodcurdling sound. G-god…

A tooth ache. He never had it before. He never expected to have it. Kanda had healthy habits, eating broccoli and garlic was a common practice. He was always so healthy, people wondered what was tougher, his immune system or his bad temper. Now, it seems the question was resolved, but Kanda did not care. He was looking at his katana with a gawking that made God curse and call a psychologist. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. God, it hurt. It really hurt.

Crap, it hurt. Kanda hit his jaw with hatred, wincing at the pain that just reached amazing heights. He thanked God, the Devil, and the Author of this ffc that nobody risked to visit him right now. He would probably kill the person, then burn the corpse, then belly-dance on the ashes. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

The pain moved in his mouth, like an oriental dancer. As if playing with a veil, that bitch slowly jolted, making Kanda climb the walls like a fly. It twisted and jerked and joggled inside Kanda's mouth with the dedication of Inquisition updating its torture techniques. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

"Yuu-chaan~" Lavi entered the room together with the sun. That sun fell down like an axe when Lavi saw the picture in front of him. On the floor, Kanda sat, imitating a Chinese God figurine. He was clenching both sides of his face, probably wondering if he could squeeze the meat and saliva out of it. Slowly muttering something, he rocked back and front, like in an ardent prayer.

"K-Kanda? You 'k?" Lavi cautiously approached the teen. He could see his pale face and bleeding lip.

"W-what the hell happened?"

"Get. Out" Kanda's eyes squinted murderously. "If you don't want to die."

"Yuu-chan, this is jus' rude. I jus' came, an' you're chasin' me away already? Come on, dun' be such an ass…" The next second, Lavi's own ass was kicked with utmost ferocity and hatred.


A few hours after the slaughter, Lavi was washing his eye in the sink. Actually, he was washing his face, but that did not make such a big difference, since the eye was the only thing recognizable on that throbbing pulp Lavi forgetfully called face. Kanda was still chanting a hatred poem dedicated to Pain. Sometimes he would approach a wall and start hitting his head in it, leaving strange, funny dents. At least Lavi thought they were funny.

"Yuu-chan, I think you need to see a dentist."

'Yuu-chan' stared at Lavi with a hate glare.

"Shut up and die."

"Seriously, Yuu-chan, that thing'll hurt even more if you'll won' treat it."

"Jump off a cliff and die."

"Oh, I know! I know this doctor, dentist, whatever! He's AMAZING! I mean, he's like, you know—"

"I SAID DIE, BASTARD!"

"Kanda, I'm serious." Kanda knew he was serious. He never addressed him by that idiotic nickname when he was serious. Which means that most of his conscious life Lavi was not serious.

Lavi chuckled, seeing Kanda standing up with an effort. He disappeared in his bedroom, only to reveal himself again, dressed in dark clothes with a hood. The hood was a good idea. Now, when his face was pale and his lips were cracked and bleeding, and his hair undone, the hood was a valuable thing, if you don't want to scare anyone shitless. In short, Yuu Kanda greatly resembled a ghost, and that was a problem.

In Lavi's car Kanda felt another freshly invented terrorizing twinge. He was cursing under his breath, making the flowers and the trees and the birds die and transform into dust. In a swing of enthusiasm, Kanda started kicking Lavi's door.

"Geez, Yuu-chan, have some patience! I jus' bought this baby! Ya don' need to be so grumpy, I'm sure tha' doctor'll deal with you as soon we come!"


The clinic was small. Actually, it was Barbie sized, if compared to the nearby barber shop. It had an upbeat …thing that apparently served as a signboard. Kanda mentally kicked it with all his might. He did it mentally, of course. He really did have long legs, but still he was not a Barbie. The signboard thought differently. As if reading Kanda's mental actions, it fell right in front of him, making Lavi yell profanities and point toward the sky.

"Tha' rotten crap could've killed ya, y'know!"

Kanda ignored the fool and opened the dirty door, entering the shop. He immediately took his words back about the Barbie thing. It was HUGE. Seemingly, it took all the insides of the building. The shop, no, the clinic was white and huge and… It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

"It's over here, Yuu—chan! Anyway, she's amazing! Only her legs are—"

"You brought me here because the dentist has nice legs?!? ARE YOU FREAKING STUPID?!?!? I'M GONNA DIE HERE, IDIOT, AND YOU ARE DESCRIBING ME HER LEGS?"

"Excuse me sir! Please control your voice here! You're scaring the patients!" The hood fell down and the girl cowered in fear. "G-god-d."

"Now. Get me a freaking dentist. NOW." Kanda's voice convinced her he was seeing a creature who escaped hell and now wanted revenge. It said a lot about how the creature died, given the fact that it was here, in a dental clinic.

"AAh! Strike! Miss Lenalee, I presume?" His language became suddenly grammatically correct. The girl smiled pathetically, shaking.

"A-ah, Lavi-kun, i-is t-this y-y-your f-friend? H-he doesn't look t-too well."

"Nah, he's always like tha'! Ain't ya, Yuu-chan?" 'Yuu-chan's face silently screamed death.

"Ahh, yeah-h, I finally remember why we are here! You see, Lenalee, Yuu-chan's got a tooth ache!" Lavi proudly yelled, as if he just bore a son. "An', an' I know that this is the only clinic that could make him better, y'know? I mean.." His cheeks reddened, making his hair envious.

"Ah, so it's a tooth ache…" Lenalee looked at Kanda as if he just declared that he was pregnant. "I'll check if we have any available dentists now." She left in a hurry while Lavi was "checking her out" as Kanda later put it. Checking or not, Lavi watched her small fame with blurry eyes.

"Gah, Yuu-chan, ain't she beautiful? Wahh…" He was drooling.


"Hey, miss! Hey miss!" The kid's voice was annoying like a thorn stuck under a fingernail.

"Shut up, kid."

"Mommy, mommy, this bastard is abusing me!"

Kanda made a mental note: Kill every kid with your psychic powers if you have them and with an AK 47 if you don't.

A fat woman, with her assets spilling out started to calm the boy down, mainly through accusing Kanda of child abuse and pedophilia. As a response, Kanda smiled toward the woman, shaking his head with the sole purpose of arranging the hair so that it hugged his face. He knew he was handsome, Lavi told him that numerous times. Now, that handsomeness will finally serve a purpose. Kanda smiled dazzlingly. The woman blinked. If she knew him better, she would run away leaving the kid behind as a diversion. She did not. That stupid louse took Kanda's hellish bait. The next moment she left for bathroom, asking Kanda to look after her kid. Good. She trusted him. Too bad for the kid.

The next moment, the kid was gagged with a stuffed toy while a pen entered his brain through the ear. Hn, his tooth throbbed like a pulsing gangrene infected flesh.

"Kanda-san, you can come in this room, your dentist is here!"

Kanda took the pen out of the annoying kid's ear. Finally. Finally he could escape this hellish torture. The TV was rumbling something about Dove, the chocolate that will make you forget your worries. Kanda felt a sudden urge to silence the announcer with his own underwear, then throw him in the chocolate maker to be later eaten in teeny tiny bits. Luckily for the TV-man, the dentist was there, ready to ease Kanda's suffering. (Somewhere in the dumpster, the kid started suffocating.)


This dental room was small, gaily painted in bright colors. The ceiling was yellow, the walls orange. Kanda saw himself trapped inside a rainbow.

"Yuu Kanda?" The dentist, a tall man with a ridiculous hat on smiled dazzlingly. "My name is Komui Lee, and I will be your dentist starting today."

Kanda was staring at him with disbelief. He looked at the perforator in the dentist's hands. That huge thing was definitely used for drilling the cement, or the concrete floors, or escaping from prison. He slowly walked out of the room, leaving the Drill-Wielder happily introducing himself to the chair.


"I won't." Kanda glanced at Lenalee. "That man is insane."

"Oh no, what has brother done this time…" She ran off without any care about Kanda and his swollen jaw.

"Miss, are you OK? I can take you, if you want!" Kanda turned around planning to kick the person who dared to call him a woman and rammed into a thick, fluffy white head.

"Oi, Jiji, I'm not a woman. You're lucky you're old, or you were dead by now." The old man was squatting down hugging his head as if that fluffy thing would fly away.

"Ow-ow-ow-ow…" The old fart got up, and without releasing his face from the rubber-gloved hands invited Kanda in.

"Oi, old man, why the hell are you waiting? My teeth are killing me!"

A muffled voice, obscured by the sound of running water responded," Please sit in the chair, I'm preparing the instruments."

Che. Useless old fart. Kanda let his body sink in the leathered chair. It smelled funny and somehow soothing. He has never been in a dental office before. Now, when his tooth ache was snoring, half asleep, he could look around without thinking of suicide, arson, and other tempting themes.

The dentist lowered the chair making Kanda lay horizontally. He already wore the white coat and the mask. Che, it was uncomfortable. Kanda became suddenly very self-conscious. He suddenly remembered the sparkles on the perforator that mad man was holding. As if he was blind before and now could see, he noticed the tools. Kanda shuddered. He remembered the history classes with the mummification process. He distinctly recalled the hooks the embalmers used to extract the brain through the nose. Tch. Now he couldn't control the shaking of his hands and knees. Crap this was bad, very bad.

The dentist approached him ominously, or so Kanda perceived his actions. In his mind, his history lessons were animatedly bumping one into another. Hitler and Stalin passed fast,dragging Saddam Husein behind, leaving a bad taste in the mouth. Then came the tortures of the inquisition, horrifyingly real and…yeah, really real. The dentist turned on a lamp, shining it in Kanda's eye. Great, this was cut from a cop movie...

"Open your mouth, please," His glowed hands touched Kanda's face, making him jump. Is he going to kill him? Is he? Kanda already forgot where he was; the shiny tools and hooks and lancets looked especially carnivorous. As in a horror movie, two hands reached from the back pinning Kanda's head into the leather pillow. He swallowed hard, biting his lip. Crap. Crap. Crap. The hands opened his mouth and…

Kanda close his eyes shut. He felt those hands ramble inside his mouth, awaking the beast.

"Ghn.." The hands hesitated. "Kanda-san, how do you feel? Does it hurt?"

"Ghn..ow…" The teen was still biting his lip. His eyes were closed, drawing out tears. "Oh, I see…"

The light that a second ago was discretely killing Kanda's rodes and cones (1) was now gone, and so were the hands.

"You can open your eyes now, Kanda." The voice was soft and quiet. Kanda opened his eyes slowly.

"Are you done, geezer? It's still killing me so I don…" He gawked at the face above him. This is not real. A kid stared at him smiling. A white haired kid, with silver eyes.

"Sorry, I did not realize you were in pain. Why didn't you tell me from the start? I would have used some anesthesia on you." He turned away only to come back with a syringe. Holly flying…

The syringe was tiny, yet it grew to grotesque proportions in Kanda's eyes. He hated those things. "You're not gonna… " he gulped. The kid looked at him with big eyes. "Are you afraid?"

"I... Aren't you too young to be a dentist, kid?" The kid frowned.

"How rude! I'm twenty already! I am not a kid. And don't try to piss me off; I have the perfect chance to get my revenge. I'm your dentist after all!" Kanda gulped again. He was seriously in deep trouble.

He was forced to lay down again. The kid put on a pair of white rubber gloves. Kanda could hear his own heart kicking the ribcage. Damn, that thing wanted out.

"Open the mouth." Kanda slowly opened it. He felt cold air blowing in it. It was gentle, not like the sensation before. He felt… giggly.

"Do you feel anything?" the kid touched his molars.

"I… don't know. Where are you touching?"

The kid smiled. "You're anaesthetized alright! Now, I'll look why it hurts. In other words, the cause of your bu-bu!"

Kanda almost chocked. Cheeky brat. "You-ghgh…" The kid's fingers were in his mouth, touching, feeling, (ripping). Kanda did not feel anything, just a tickling sensation that made his nerves shiver. It was a pleasant feeling. He closed his eyes, satisfied. It wasn't so bad after all…


"You're done." The kid was washing his hands. Kanda stirred from his trance.

"That's it?!"

"Yeah, that's it." The albino smiled. "Or do you want another tooth taken out?"

"Wha…" Kanda's tongue searched for a hole. There it was, tasting raw and bloody. Huh. It did not hurt at all.

The kid smiled again, softly.

"Just don't eat anything for a few hours. It'll heal better then." The albino turned away, taking off his white coat. Kanda just watched him, for the sake of the verb.

The kid probably felt the screwing sensation in the back of his head. He turned around, taking off his mask. "Is something wrong? Does it hurt again? That's strange… I thought I was finished." He flatly walked up to Kanda, lifting his hands and touching the teen's chin.

"Open please!"

Kanda did as was told. Damn. That kid was looking at his mouth with live, gray eyes that made Kanda shift uncomfortable. Damn. He was touching his neck. Crap. The kid took his gloves off, making Kanda feel his long fingers on his throat and lips. He tasted like milk.

The Japanese suddenly closed his mouth, biting kid's hand. "It's all good. I... Thank you."

"Ow..." The albino rapidly inserted the bitten finger in his own mouth. Kanda stood here petrified. It that stupid dentist realizing what's he doing? The kid just watched him innocently. Then he probably did realize, because the next moment he almost swallowed a soap bar.

"W-Why are you here, anyway, no mater how I look, you are too young to be a real dentist. Did you skip grades or something?"

The kid gagged, trying to take out the sticky bar. "I...ghf...I didn't. About the grades, I meant. I just am helping here as a part time job. Lenalee taught me some basic things, so I can help. This is a big clinic, yet we cannot upgrade it, thanks to Komui...

"That would explain why it looks so shabby outside." Kanda frowned. The brat was getting redder by the second.

"That's... different. I think you entered through the back door...I am, usually to busy with the patients, so I can't find any time to fix things." He was looking down with attention, suddenly discovering a really interesting pattern that a UFO left there.

Kanda cheed. "If this is such a busy clinic, why the hell are you still here and not dragging the next victim to the hell hole?" Kanda pointed at the dental chair.

"Hell hole? Sir, In believe it did not hurt at all! I even used the anesthesia we usually spend on kids! You should be grateful! The brat pouted.

"Anyway, what I do doesn't concern a jerk like you." He abruptly left, throwing the used gloves in the garbage. Kanda followed lazily, hearing a dialog between the long legged girl and the brat. Lavi was nowhere to be seen. The bastard probably was robbing the supply of the sugar-free lollipop. Tch, how childish.

"Bye, Lenalee, I must go now!It's already five and I have a bus to catch. Tell the electrician I am gone, and... and that light must be fixed. It electrocuted Komui when he tried to drill somebody's tooth." Lenalee giggled to the horror of the drilled patient.

" I'll pass the message, Allen-kun. Be sure to eat, you are so scrawny." The brat laughed, shaking his silver locks. "It won't make a difference. I'm always like this. Bye then!"

The door (the back one) clicked, closing. A 'thump' followed, loud and shrilly. Kanda curiously (he doesn't want to admit it even now) peeked through the curtain. He couldn't see. Tch. He needed to get closer and do it discreetly. He walked with a fake casualness into the lobby, shaking Lavi's car keys. The irresponsible bastard lost them too many times, making Kanda pay for the copies. The fat woman was squeaking disgustingly sweet names, looking behind the plastic chair. She faced somebody's grandpa, who was shaking of old age and alcohol, asking if he saw a kid. The old man was apparently deaf, for he started throwing out obscenities and spit. Kanda left them fighting and went outside where Lenalee was dragging Komui and a red headed doctor with a huge syringe.


The sign-board was heavy. Allen could feel that without any guessing. He fixed it the second time this day, but the force of gravity was too powerful (or the nails were crappy.) Now that bloody thing was nuzzling in his thigh. His back ached, feeling the cheap nails and the rotten wood. As a mockery, the one and only bus who went to Olive Sector was zooming past the suffering boy.

"God,' he sighed," I thought you left Hope out of Pandora's box too. How am I gonna get to the leather shop now? Gaah, Cross is gonna kill me.." He took out a few splinters from his mouth. The next bus would come in a few hours, and his salary will decease with quite a few bucks. He hated to be late. The old man was not tolerant with part time workers. Once he beat the crap out of Allen for being tardy, and that was not a pretty sight.

As if sensing his depressing thoughts, the door fell too, creating a hellish noise. Crap. Cross is going to blame him for this also. That bastard was creating debts, then forced Allen to pay them, then created even more debts. He could apply for the Guinness Records as the most indebted person who hasn't ever payed his debts himself. As is guessing his thoughts, Cross appeared behind the boy who carefully arranged himself under the signboard so he could resemble a squished bug.

"Get up, stupid assistant! Why are you laying here? Are you tired already? Get up and go to work if you have time to sleep!"Cross stopped, feeling a hand on his sleeve.

"Lenalee-chan, you should not concern with the idiot. I told him to fix it so many times!" He glared back at the sign board. "It's old anyway. Just throw it away." Taking Lenalee under hand, he passed Kanda who already was outside. Lenalee threw quick glances back to see if the roadkill (aka Allen ) was OK.

The fallen boy finally got up, dusting himself. Damn that Cross. He would never say a good word to him, never! was it that hard to just ask "Are you Ok?" But No! That bastard never--

"Are you OK, kid?" Kanda lifted the corner of the sign-board. "It seems you have a pretty nasty cut on your back. Can you get up?" No, he wasn't nice, this was a payment for being careful with his jaw.

The brat looked upward, and nodded. Kanda tossed the heavy board off. It was pretty bad. The white shirt was ripped, showing the pale skin of the shoulder blades. A huge bruise curled on the brat's back, refusing to leave. The overall picture? He seriously looked as if he deserted from the Vietnam war.

Kanda sighed. He stepped toward Lavi's car, opening it.

"Get in, I'll give you a ride home." The brat gawked at him incredulously, as if the man grew antlers. "T-thank you, but no. I need to get to work. Thanks for the offer though." He waived buh-bye and smiled. Kanda cheed furiously. 'You just finished working, didn't you? Quit lying, bean sprout!"

"Bean.. sprout? Why am I a bean sprout? And I am not lying! I work three jobs!" He shook his fist, and his fragile frame shook too as an echo."You're too hurt to be working, can't you see that? Idiot. Get in and don't force me repeat myself."

"It's just a scratch, and don't call me an idiot. I am Allen Walker." The boy frowned. "I wouldn't go with you anyway. I don't even know you. You could rape me or sell me to organ collectors or..." He stopped for a second, thinking what Kanda could do to him. Tch. this brat was way too stupid.

"Do I look like a rapist or a organ seller?"

"Yup, you do. In fact you look that rapist that tore out women's uterus. What was his name...mmm..."

"Jack the Ripper?"

"Yes! That's the name! And it's obvious you would know your own name--"

"Brat, Jack lived in the 19th century. There is no way I could be him. And there is no way I am a rapist. Now, get into the car and stop complaining."

The boy frowned, still not trusting the Japanese.

"Promise me you won't do anything perverted!" Tch. What a moron.

"Ok, ok, I promise. Now get in the car and stop talking, you're annoying." The boy sat in the back seat, careful not to dirty the light leather.

"What the hell are you doing? Get into the front seat, moron! I'm not a cab driver, you know!" Stupid ass. How could he be so irritating? Lavi was bad, this one was a disaster. By the way, where is Lavi? Tch. Bastard. Oh well, too bad. He'll walk home.

Allen sat upright like he swallowed a pole. He was watching Kanda, careful not to get caught.

"What?" Allen reddened and looked away. "Nothing."

"Kid, sit normally. why are you so... wait, don't tell me you shitted your pan--"

"I did not! I will dirty the leather if I lean on it! Blood is pretty hard to clean!" Kanda blinked. That kid knows too much about irrelevant stuff.

"Don't worry about it. The car's not mine, and the moron who owns it is too stupid to care." Tch.

"It's not nice to name your friends like that, you know. I mean, your friend proba--" Kanda gripped the boy by the shirt, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"Shut it, midget. I will speak as I will." The brat gulped. The Japanese was scary. He still did not arrange his hair, leaving it flutter in the night wind. The traffic was heavy and slow, like a woman in labor. Kanda cursed deliciously, then shut up, realizing he was not alone. The open window was letting the night air and a few droplets of starting rain.

Allen was shivering. The wind bit his neck and chest with gluttony. November was not a time to wear shirts, he knew that. He tried to shield his chest by hugging himself, but unfortunately that caught Kanda's attention.

"Oi, dimwit. Are you cold? " Not even waiting for a response, Kanda opened the door and left, abandoning the blinking Allen and a few hundred of drivers who were involved in creating this traffic block. The car opened again, this time from the rear. Kanda was digging in it, looking for something. A car signaled him in the back, but he just showed the finger. Allen smiled. This man was so strangely kind. In fact he was the first person to be furious when the traffic finally moved, forcing him into the car.

"Here, take it." He threw a coat into Allen's face. Kanda was soaked. Damn weather. It had some sadistic pleasure in making fun of the man. He finally got into the car, wet like a newborn baby. Tch. He really needed a shower and fast. tomorrow was Saturday and he did not want to spend it in the bed, sneezing.

"Oi, halfwit, where is your house?" Allen rolled out of his trance with a flicker of gray eyes. He looked perplexedly at Kanda.

"I already told you, it's the old man's place! I work and sleep there!" Kanda almost sent the car in front of him into the red light.

"WHAT?"

"You see, this is a college town, therefore everything is super expensive. I could not find a place with my pay, given the fact that I am not a student. The old man took me in. " Allen smiled gently.

"He sure threw a fit when I told him I have no money. The old man is kind though, he lets me work for rent and food. It's only six or seven hours a day, so I can handle it." Kanda watched the boy cuddle into the coat three sizes too big for him.

"What kind of work do you do?" He threw all of his attention in front of him, where a lady driver was digging around in her car, ignoring the green light.

"You mean at the old man's? I clean the leather. He makes shoes, really high class ones. I have no idea how he does it, but it's really beautiful. The pattern is pre--"

"The other." Kanda floored and avoided a screaming man with five children in the back.

"The other...what?"Allen was watching him again. The watch showed 9:00, and the city certainly looked like it. Neon trepid lights invited the hesitant night life.

"The other jobs, dolt. What else could it be?" Kanda tcheed, annoyed. Why the hell nobody understands what he asks?

"Well...I work at a restaurant too. I wash the dishes." The woman in front left fast enough, apprehending the red light. Kanda cursed. He going to be stuck there for another minute.

"How many hours do you work?" The brat was growing uneasy. He glanced at the college student suspiciously.

"Why are you asking? It's not good manners to ask so many detai-"

"I ask, you answer, or I'll throw you out of the car." Kanda bit his lip. He had no intention of scaring the kid, yet... Tch.

" I work about...six hours in the leather shop, then...hm, about seven hours at the restaurant. I also help at the Komui's clinic for about five hours.

"That's unreal, dope. A day has twenty four hours. You will have six hours left for sleep and feeding. Unless... Don't tell me you have that Hermione thing, the one Lavi rambled about?" Seeing his confused reaction Kanda sighed.

"Never mind. You're so stupid, moyashi. If you work in that tempo, you'll shorten your life." The car stopped in front of a small, clean shop. The signboard was proudly yelling 'Alladin's'.

"Thank you so much for the ride, Kanda-san. The old man would probably mad if I came any later." The kid smiled tiredly. "Do you want a cup of tea? I could ask from the owner one!" Leaving the brat without response, Kanda got out of the car. He approached the shop with a strange confidence. The door rang an oriental tune. A short, skinny old man with a suspiciously fake hair greeted Kanda with a sickening smile. His only two teeth were having a really bad day.

"Ooh, sir, welcome, welcome! We have just what you want!" The Rat-Man (as Kanda called him) bowed enthusiastically. Kanda glanced at him, disgusted.

"I'm here about your apprentice, old man." The Rat-Man straightened up.

"You mean Allen Walker? What has the bastard done now?" Kanda eyed his face. This man was bad news. Kind old man? Kanda chuckled at the brat's naivety. More like a slave seller. At the brat's name the old sack of bones changed his attitude completely. His face became cold and tense. The eyes were filled with hatred and fright. He really resembled a rat now.

"He had an accident. I doubt he can work now. I advice you take him to the hospital, or at least give him a few days off."

"Accident? Why, did he break his fucking neck? He's already in debt, that fucking bastard!" The old man was spitting rotten saliva, shaking his fist with hatred.

The door rang again, playing the same oriental tune. The Rat-Man already took the poise of a saint with pleading eyes. That changed fast, considering the person who entered. Allen stood there pallid and wet.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm horribly late!" He still was holding Kanda's coat. " I'm so sorry, sir!" He bowed his head in front of the rat. The old man jumped like a hyena, grabbing Allen by the hair. He totally ignored Kanda now, as if he was a statue or a slipper. In a few seconds Allen was on the floor, with a cut lip.

"Because of you bastard costumers won't come! You're injured? Heh, what was that? Injured my ass! You should be grateful, pig, that I let you live here!"

The old rat was content now. He grinned at Kanda.


"Heh master, you have no idea how stupid he is," Taking Kanda by the elbow, the rat led him into a small room. "That fool is worthless, you know, master." He grinned, putting the teabags into small cups. Kanda watched him, indifferent. Allen was already in the stomach of the house, changing into his uniform.

"This is what an old man needs," the rat mumbled, letting a few drops of whiskey fall into the teacup. He paused then, hands trembling greedily. The internal fight between 'to pour or not to pour' was finally won by his greed. He sat into a small chair, letting Kanda take the sofa.

"Huh, master, you have no idea how stupid that naive halfwit is." He cackled, pouring more tea. Kanda suddenly realized he used the word before to call that brat also.

"I promised him some food and shelter, and now he works for three people at once. Yup, master, he is the genitor, maid, AND the leather cleaner!" The rat chortled again, admiring his devious mind.

"See, master, this silver tongue of mine is very useful in the business, it is." Kanda raised from the sofa. Staying here longer was pointless.

"Thank you for the tea." He got up and paced toward the door. Then he stopped, still not turning around.
"I totally agree about your apprentice. He really is a naive halfwit, as you put it." The rat cackled joyously.

Kanda left the room fast as if the four biblical horse riders were after him. This shop was suffocating. Kanda was already in the lobby when the brat approached him. He had an oriental shirt on him.

"Unn, Kanda-san, I... Thank you so much for bringing me here, and ... I'm really sorry you had to see that." Kanda eyed him coldly.

"Are you satisfied?" The silver eyes were looking at him, startled.

"What?"

"Are you satisfied with this life? Do you like slaving here like a dog?" His voice was even colder than his eyes. Allen smiled, lost.

"I...I don't know..."

"Then stay here, naive halfwit." Kanda spat the last words, pushing him aside. The annoying oriental music was playing again. Outside, a huge moon was observing the world, bored.

The rain stopped leaving a peculiar clearness in the air. It awoke Kanda. This was not his life. He had no right to interfere like that. Even if he was a law student, even if he realized that it was wrong, he shouldn't have interfered. He bit his lip until it was bleeding. Shit.

"Kanda-san!" The kid was behind him, watching the Japanese with a strange shyness.

"What do you want now? Did you find a fourth job?"

"You forgot your coat." Kanda almost laughed. For a second there, he had Hope. Hope that the idiot finally realized his stupidity. What a sick joke.

"And... Kanda, I am not. I really hate this life. I really do, but there is no choice." The kid smiled again. "Thank you for asking, though."

Kanda paced toward the brat, extending a hand. Allen reached out, giving him the coat. The next moment Allen was kicked into the car face first. He heard the door clicking and the motor starting. Oww, his back..no, his neck... Or was it his back? Crap, his whole body hurt like hell.

"What the hell are you doing? The old man wil-"

"Shut it moyashi, I'm taking you away."

"Awa-away? Away where?" The brat was scared. He was staring at Kanda in horror.

"To a new life, and my apartment." Kanda exited, leaving the shop like a bad dream. Moyashi was fidgeting in the back, crying to the ceiling and to God to give Kanda some wits to realize that he was kidnapping him. Kanda smiled contentedly. He rolled the window up, killing the sound of the wind. The heater was on, warm and cozy. The brat finally stopped rumbling, and got into the front sit.

"Kanda? I...Thank you..." Kanda extended a hand and patted the silver locks.

"Shut up and put on the coat, it's really cold tonight."

_____________________________________________________________________

Wahh, I'm tired. This is a one shot. Enough said.

(1) Rodes and cones are little thingies in your eye that identify color and light/shadow.

If you particularly liked something, please tell me via review. If you think that this is useless crap that should be burned, inform me also.

I was also planning another AU DGM ffc, but have no idea what people like. For example, should I make Allen a poor, poor kid, and Kanda, or Lavi, or Ticky the savior or something else? (This sucks.)If you have any Ideas please let me know via reviews.