I was running, only letting the feel of my paws against the dirt and the cool air rushing past my fur fill my mind. I ignore the voices in my head and continue into the forest. I run and run and run, until I phase back and feel the tears streaking down my cheeks. I leaned against a tree, ignoring the scratchy feel of bark against my back, and let out wailing sobs.
My sobs turn into cries, which turn into shaky breaths, and after a few hours I was composed enough to change back into a wolf and make my way back to La Push. I almost regret phasing because the voices all force themselves into my head. 'Where are you?' said, or thought, Quil. 'What are you doing' was from Paul. 'Idiot' from multiple people. Of course the tinge of disapproval from Sam's voice but I only respond to Seth's 'What happened to you?' 'I went for a run' I think. I make it back to the reservation and phase back to my normal form.
Making a point to ignore the rest of my pack, I to my house and walk straight up to my room. My father is out fishing with Charlie and the only other person in the house is Seth. He doesn't interrogate me though, he knows what happened and it seems like he is the only one with enough common sense to see my point. I slam myself onto my bed and shove my ear buds into my ears. My thumb presses a button on my iPod and I put on the song I feel describes my situation best. White Horse by Taylor Swift comes on and I close my eyes. I just sit there and wallow in self pity until the last verse comes on.
Cause I'm not a princess, this aint a fairy tale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
In the rearview mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Ya it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around
I take off my iPod, a lot calmer than before I put them on, and I realize what I have to do. I go to my desk and pick up an envelope, opened but untouched for quite a while. I look at the seal and smile, before turning on my computer and sending an email to it's sender.
I left the house, planning to go in to town, when I come across Sam and Emily. My good mood begins to diminish and anger appears in it's place. Emily stands there, biting her lip, and asks, "So, will you?" I glare at her and spit , "No, no I will not!" Sam looks at me as though I am the most immature person on earth and replies, "Look, I may not know why you are acting like this, but it would mean a lot to Emily and I if you would be a bridesmaid at the wedding." I ask with barely restrained rage, "Oh, and how am I acting?" "Like a crazy bitch" Sam says. That sets me off, and I close the distance between the happy couple and myself. "So I'm the bitch here? I get dumped by my boyfriend, no, my fiancé, and he runs off with my cousin. Not only that, but I have to hear how wonderful he thinks she is and how nobody can compete with her almost constantly. Oh, and here's the kicker, they want me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding! So, the fact that I don't want to see my ex and my cousin together makes me a bitch apparently!"
I end my tirade, and grab all the air I could possibly fit into my lungs. "You know about the imprinting thing, we couldn't help it," Sam says, and my anger comes back. "Look, I get imprinting, but don't bring the whole 'we couldn't help it, we tried to resist' thing into it because it just makes me feel guilty, and I am not going to feel guilty about my boyfriend leaving me for a relative got it!" Emily steps forward and hugs me, whispering that she's sorry. I guess that was the last straw because I broke down in her arms and cried. We hugged for who knows how long until we eventually broke apart. When we did separate we looked at each other and Emily said "I am so sorry for this, for everything!" I try to talk but she stops me and continues, "No, it's not your fault, and I get that you don't want to go to the wedding, and I am okay with it. I even understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore because I don't think I would be able to if you ended up with one of my exes!" I shake my head and hug my cousin, my best friend, again. "It's not your fault either, and I am sorry for freezing you out", I start, "Yes, I am upset and I won't attend your wedding but you are still my cousin and that is never going to change because I love you," She smiles through her tears and says "I love you too, and I'm glad a stupid, testosterone filled boy isn't going to change that!" We hug again and laugh. "I was about to go shopping, want to come?" I ask. She nods and we walk to my car.
"How does this top look?" I ask, showing Emily the rather low cut shirt I was currently wearing. "Hot!" she says and we laugh. I return to the dressing room and change back into my normal clothes. I open the door, carrying the clothes I want to buy and meet Emily at the cash register. We walk out of the store, bags in our arms and smiles on our faces.
We were on the road back to La Push, talking about the day. We went shopping, went to the hairdresser, and even got manicures. "So, are you going to the bonfire tonight?" Emily asked and I said "of course. She smiled and said "I am so excited to see Sam" before realizing what she said and we both stopped laughing. The awkward silence lasted for 2 songs and a commercial a talent search until I broke it "does he do that thing with you, when he tries to-". "Yes!" Emily screamed, "It's so weird!" we laughed, and I was able to ignore the pit in my stomach.
At home, I held up some of my new outfits in front of my body, trying to decide what to wear. It wasn't so much that I wanted to impress anybody, but I wanted to show the others that I wasn't the same person anymore. I looked at the low cut shirt, it was white with black flowers spread around it. I paired it with some dark jeans that clung to my curves and white strappy heels. I brushed out my hair and smiled at my reflection.
People were staring at us when we arrived at the bonfire. I didn't need to read my packs mind to realize their hormone levels were rising. It wasn't just the fact that I was wearing something other than sweats, though. It was whom I arrived with. Emily and I came, arm in arm, smiling like Broadway stars in the middle of a closing song. The bonfire was surprisingly fun. When Sam came over to talk to Emily I resisted the urge to run and instead was able to make friendly conversation with them. It was forced, but it was friendly. Eventually I did reach my limit of nauseating love and I moved on. I didn't really feel like hearing the questions I knew would come so I stood at the edges of the bonfire, staring at the flames.
"So, you end Emily are BFF's now?" I hear a voice ask. I run to see Jacob's face looking down at me. "Not exactly," I say, "but we're working one it." He nods. For a while we just stand there in silence, but not the awkward silence I had with my cousin when she mentioned Sam, but the kind when there is nothing that needs to be said. Until I realize that something does need to be said. "I'm going to New York" I say. He looks at me, clearly surprised. "What?" he asks. "I got accepted to NYU after high school, before, you know" I gesture to my body, the one that occasionally transforms into a different species. "And I decided it's time to go." He just looks at me and says "You know the pack is going to give you hell right?" I laugh and say "of course, but I need to get out of here, I need space."
The next few days were difficult, the pack did indeed give me hell about wanting to leave. Paul told me I was abandoning them, and I said that I would come back for holidays and during the summer. The hardest one was probably telling Seth.
"Why do you want to go?" he asked. "It's a great opportunity, I can't just stay here my entire life." I tried to explain. "But why not? Everyone else has". "Because I want a future, a real one!" I say, raising my voice a bit. Seth gives up and says "Are you going to the wedding?" I shake my head. "You should be able to see them together," he said. I sigh and reply "And hopefully, one day I will"
I folded the last of my clothes into my suitcase and zipped it up. I pulled it with me out of my house and was greeted by my families, both blood and wolf. I smiled and hugged my father, who crushed me and whispered. "I am so proud of you." I nod and separate myself from him only to be smothered by the guys in the pack. They all gave me bone-crushing hugs and said sweet things about me that I'm sure had never crossed their minds in the passed.
After I could see something aside from a bunch of boys chests, I hugged Emily. Her words were unintelligible through her tears, but the words didn't matter. I then found myself facing Sam. I held out my hand for him to shake but he grabbed it and hugged me. It wasn't completely horrible, and even a bit friendly.
I turned away from the pack and stepped into the taxi. I looked back at the town I was leaving and began to cry. I then thought about where I was going and smiled. If there was a close up of my face it would make me look like a crazy person, but since when did I ever care what I looked like.
AN: Hi guys. I don't particularly like Twilight but I wanted to give Leah a happy ending. I thought she deserved it. I really should be working on my series but I'm a bit stuck so oh well. Bye love you guys!
