This is me combining my lifelong obsession with Egypt with my latest obsession with Cats. This will be a story about finding friendship when you feel lonely and misunderstood and how much is gained from daring to open up to someone else. I had a really fun time writing this and I hope you will like it.
Everyone reviewing gets a funfact about Egypt! (Or about abyssinian cats which I had to research a bit for this one) So come on, send me a review or pm, it will be fun!
Disclaimer: I don't own Cats.
Disclaimer 2: I have simplified some of the traditions of ancient Egypt, they had loads of different gods, and a lot more than Bastet that symbolized love, family and fertility, but since this is a cat story I kept it simple, but feel free to ask about others or point out errors!
Cassandra knew that most of the Jellicles respected her, but she also knew that a great deal of them made fun of her from time to time. Nothing really mean but she knew they thought she took herself too seriously. And she agreed with them in some aspects. But when she felt strongly about something she didn't want to do it half hearted. She wanted to let it consume her, and that she had in common with the other Jellicles. Tugger had his casanova-persona, Jennyanydots her cockroach-project, Gus had his theater, Skimble his trains, Misto his magic. They all went all in and let it become the biggest part of their personalities. It was just that they all could do it with a glimpse in their eyes. Cassandra couldn't really. She remembered it first when she saw the others roll their eyes and she knew she should have lightened up the mood some time ago. And her looks didn't help her either, her fur was impeccable, she didn't have any stripes, dots, long hair or glitter. It was sleek and chocolate brown, she looked exactly like the show cat she was, pedigree and an expensive collar from her family, all that was missing were one of the many bows she had won. Her moonlit eyes had nothing of the quirky sparkle of the others, it was all depth and mystery.
All of this was of course things that the others respected about her, but also things they found peculiar. If she had been another Jellicle they would have teased her about it openly. She wanted to be able to laugh about it but on those rare occasions that the others had teased her about it she had been so engrossed in the subject that she had gotten confused about the change of tone and just looked at the others with a frown. When she realised that they had been making a joke the moment had passed and the subject had usually changed. She always bit her tongue and decided not to let herself get so engaged next time, but since she was a Jellicle she couldn't control that part of herself. If it was something she could do, it was to relax a bit more while she talked about it, then she would maybe be able to engage the others in her interest.
That was probably where the big problem in it lay. The other Jellicles had other tribe members or others that shared their interests. Everyone loved Tugger when he put on a show, Jenny engaged hoards of cockroaches and mice in her projects, Skimble shared his interest with both passengers and staff at the station, Gus had all his old theater contacts that he drank and talked memories with and Misto's magic was something that the whole tribe both enjoyed and had a tremendous benefit from. No one shared her interest. Which made the opportunities she could talk about it scarce and she couldn't really control herself when she got the chance. She just dived into it as deep as she could so that the moment didn't pass too quickly.
There was no other moment she felt the same pride in her heritage as when she got to sing about it during the Jellicle ball. The others loved it when she sang about the Jellicles moonlit eyes, no other cat could do it like her, but she knew they all rolled their eyes when she sang about the pharaohs. But at that moment she felt the pride of her ancestors flow through her and she could feel no shame. On one occasion only had she been forced to defend her line and after nailing Munkustrap with her famous moonlit eyes and demanding it stayed he hadn't brought the subject up again. She rarely took such a serious stand in matters and he could respect her when she did.
But no one shared her interest. She was an abyssinian cat and her ancestors had been portrayed on the temples and in the pyramids of ancient Egypt. She could understand that the others had a hard time keeping up the same kind of interest in the history as her since they didn't have the personal connection, but it didn't make the sorrow of being alone with it any less. Cassandra had always felt like she was a Jellicle in soul and heart, but there was still something that was missing. Some piece of history that made her feel like she missed home even though she had never left London. She had met other abyssinian cats when she was at cat shows with her human family, and she had met them when she was walking around London as well, but that just made her realise what big part of her that was a Jellicle. The other cats didn't understand her in the way that the Jellicle tribe did. Other cats had minds of their own but those didn't expand beyond their house and their human family. That was their universe and when she tried to explain her interest by comparing it with the other Jellicles interests, they just looked at her confused. She was more Jellicle than anything else, but that knowledge still left a piece of her puzzle unsolved and no one understood her.
It wasn't the end of the world though. She still loved her tribe and she took great joy in the others personal eccentricities. She tried to be satisfied with the fact that she lived a better life with the Jellicles than she ever could wish for anywhere else and that this fascination had to be just hers. And she didn't depend on the others to engage herself in something she wanted. She could still be amazed over the role that her ancestors had played in history, the others lack of interest didn't have to hold hers back. But if Cassandra could wish for one thing it would be someone to share some of it with. Someone who'd listen and maybe ask a few questions.
She had Alonzo, her mate. They shared a den and they talked everyday, but it was mostly about the tribe and what had happened during the day. She had tried to interest him with remarkable facts about the respect the ancient egypts had for cats and he tried to listen, but quite soon he drifted off and stopped listening. He was the perfect mate in every way, what she needed was a friend to confide in.
One thing that had been essential to learn was to read. She had practised it ever since she was a kitten and that meant that she could sneak off to the library or the museum and dive deep into knowledge when she wanted to know more. She had followed the different guides through the museum more times than she could count but she still felt like there was some new information that she picked up each time. The guides had stopped chasing her out of the museum but she couldn't discuss history with them. They just didn't understand each other.
But something had changed during the last Jellicle ball. She had been taken seriously by someone she thought never would. Misto had chosen her for his stunt and had helped her to act during his performance. She had quickly picked up his instructions and followed them and the stunt had been perfect. Afterwards they had danced together and he had sincerely praised her. He said that she was really good at picking up instructions and that he admired the way she had been able to focus when he performed magic. No one had taken a sincere interest in the work of his magic like that before, the others were just amazed about the effects. But she had been focused on the work and not only the effect and he was really glad he had asked her. Cassandra had felt herself blushing at the compliments but she was also surprised. There was another Jellicle who felt lonely in their domain and that the others didn't understand them.
Misto ended the dance too quickly for her to respond but she felt warmth in her heart thinking about it. She wondered how Misto coped with the others not understanding him. Because he was apparently much better than her at handling it. She smiled when she thought back to the dance. Misto had kissed her paw, looking her in the eyes and thanked her. She hoped he meant the understanding and not the dance or helping with the performance. The rest of the ball she had felt a bit lost. He had really left her with a lot to think about, but he himself seemed to have moved on immediately and interacted with the others just like he normally did. 'How did he do it?' she thought.
"It looked like you and Misto had a good time at the ball?" said Alonzo casually as they came back to their den that morning but Cassandra could hear that there was some worry in his question. He was quite the flirt himself but she knew he had always thought she was too good for him and he worried there would be a day when she realised that. He would do anything to keep her around. She smiled at him.
"Yes, I didn't know we had that much in common actually, but we worked really well together during his performance" she said and felt proud about it. "But I think the poor tom got a bit nervous afterwards when we danced, I didn't get a word out before he bolted" she said and laughed a little, trying to take the edge off both the current situation and her feelings about what Misto had said. He had acted so normal afterwards that she was starting to doubt that she had read him right.
"What did he talk about then?" said Alonzo trying to laugh as well but with a worried frown between his eyes.
"He just thought we had worked together so well, I wished I had gotten the chance to tell him he did good as well, Oh well, let's hope he asks for help again" she said with a smile, but when she saw Alonzo's expression she quickly added "You have nothing to worry about love, it was just a friend helping another friend, you know you are the only one for me" she said and nuzzled him. He kissed her and then held her tightly.
"You are too good for me, promise you will never understand that?" he said and stroke his paw over her cheek.
"Promise" she answered him before they fell asleep together.
She had built up her courage during the week that followed the ball. She had been so close to talk to Misto about it but the more time that passed she felt like he probably didn't feel like her. She started doubting that he had really said things the way he had and that he probably didn't mean it like she hoped for. And it was more likely that he had thanked her about the help and the dance rather than the understanding. She hadn't really said anything to him at all, so how could he know she understood him? She had probably just made a hen out of a feather. But there was a feeling lingering that he actually would understand her if she would just ask him. She was more distracted than normal and felt really silly for doubting herself like that. She was a Jellicle, if there was something she had to be it was proud! She shouldn't reduce herself to be worth less than the others. The fact that the others didn't share her interest shouldn't stand in the way of her love for it. But it was like the hope of being understood also had planted a seed of doubt in her. The chance of being understood also included the risk of being rejected.
Cassandra had chickened out yet again on her way over to Misto. She had seen him in the main clearing of the junkyard and decided to just go over and talk about anything, it didn't have to be her pressing issue, just anything and maybe the rest would come. But when she was closing in on him she changed her mind again and trailed off to the side. For a second their eyes met before she hurried on. If she just picked up the pace a bit more she would be at the museum just in time for the guide Justin, which was her favourite.
Misto saw Cassandra moving over the clearing towards him. She wasn't her usual self. She had been looking distracted and nervous ever since the ball and he hoped he had nothing to do with it. But he had been blabbering on about how she understood him like nobody else and hadn't given her the chance to speak at all. And then he had felt so embarrassed that he just kissed her paw and thanked her before he turned towards the others and tried to act like normal. He hoped she had thought he thanked her for the dance and the help and not for him going on and on about how she understood him. He felt embarrassed just thinking about it. He had no idea if she had understood him at all, he hadn't given her the chance to say anything and he had seen that she blushed when he talked. He surely went over the top in his praise. 'Ugh, I hope I didn't make things awkward between us' he thought. He couldn't really decipher the look he had gotten from Alonzo after he kissed Cassandra's paw but he didn't want to offend the bigger tom. Everyone knew Cassandra was Alonzo's but he himself would have gotten away with both kissing another queens paw and probably even more. 'If it weren't for Tugger, that would be the casanova of the junkyard' thought Misto.
Misto looked up as Cassandra came closer, but just as their eyes met he saw her changing direction slightly and hurry away towards the entrance. She had really been acting differently after the ball and Misto could feel his conscience nagging at him. He had made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe she even thought he had a crush on her? 'Oh Everlasting Cat, let's hope no one thinks that' he thought and instinctively looked over at Alonzo. He was a bit scared of what he could do if someone would flirt with his mate. Misto hoped they hadn't talked about him but if Cassandra was as uncomfortable as it seemed they probably had. He shook his head. 'I might as well make this right again' he thought and hurried after Cassandra. With her long legs she was well ahead of him but he took some help from his magic to catch up with her.
"Cassandra!" he shouted after her to get her to stop. He saw her stiffen before she turned around and smiled at him. He could see that the smile was not completely genuine and he braced himself to repair this.
"Misto, I didn't hear you earlier, I hope you haven't chased me in vain for long?" she asked trying to be relaxed and not let her serious self take too much place.
"I took some help from magic to catch up with you" he said and waved his paws a bit awkwardly like that would explain it. "I wanted to talk to you.." he said and felt unsure about where to start.
"Yes?" said Cassandra looking at him, her eyes gave away nothing like always.
"I..eh.. did I make you uncomfortable during the ball? I didn't mean anything by it, I just needed someone to help me with the magic and then I wanted to thank you while dancing but I just ended up talking about myself and then I didn't want Alonzo to think I was flirting with you and I-" he stopped talking when Cassandra held up her paws to slow him down.
"You have to give me a chance to talk" she said in a calm tone. She had been taken aback a little about how nervous Misto had been. When he arrived she had seen nothing but his usual vague and aloof behaviour, but maybe that was just what showed on the outside? 'He might not be as calm as he appeared normally' she thought and realised that it might not be Misto that handled the other cats disinterest better than her but that he only didn't show his reactions as clearly as she did.
"I'm sorry, I talk too much when I am nervous" he said apologetically.
"You have nothing to worry about, and you didn't make me uncomfortable at all" said Cassandra reassuringly. "But you gave me a lot to think about and since you left me so quickly after the dance I didn't get to ask you what you meant about it" she continued and hoped it didn't sound like an accusation.
"Oh, okey" said Misto confused. "You can ask me now if you want to? Or were you going somewhere? Am I interrupting you? Should I leave?" he asked and Cassandra smiled when she realised he really did talk too much when he was nervous.
"Actually, I was going somewhere, do you want to come with me?" she asked and hoped that maybe Misto would understand her better if he saw what she talked about.
"Absolutely" he said with a smile and he followed her as she started walking towards the museum.
Cassandra knew that they would not be able to catch the whole guided tour but the best part came close to the end. And that way it wouldn't be so long if Misto didn't think it was interesting, but if he did she could fill him in on the parts they had missed.
They followed the guide through the museum silently. Cassandra glanced nervously over at Misto, not knowing if he was quiet because he was bored or focused. He had been talking so much earlier that she couldn't help but think that there was something wrong. Even though it was good that he wasn't nervous and spoke too much it still bothered her that he was so quiet. She couldn't really concentrate on the tour and tried to read Misto's mind to no success. When the tour ended the crowd gave a small applause but no one stayed for questions and the two cats were left alone with Justin. He smiled at Cassandra and leaned down to pet her.
"Did you bring a friend here today?" he said as he scratched her behind her ear. "I'm so happy for you dear, you always look so sad when you are alone but you look much happier today" he looked over at Misto and held out his hand for Misto to smell it.
"Justin owns a pollicle I think" she explained. "Just smell his hand a bit and he'll pet you if you want to" she said and Misto sniffed the hand with some hesitation and got some scratches behind his ear as well.
"He seems nice" said Misto a bit confused.
"You two stay here, I will be right back" said Justin. "If you understand any of this and I'm not just some weirdo talking to cats.." he mumbled as he walked off.
"Where is he going?" asked Misto but he had something else on his mind.
"I don't know, usually I don't stay" said Cassandra. For some reason she didn't want to admit that Justin or any of the other guides just gave her a quick pet occasionally since they had stopped to chase her out of the museum. She hadn't realised that they had kept their eyes on her, and she hadn't realised that she looked sad when she came there. But when she thought about it she usually went there when she felt the most misunderstood by the others and that probably showed.
"Oh wow, so you actually do understand me?" said Justin when he came back. "I don't know if this is of any interest for you but my dog really likes them so..." he trailed off and held out his hand with two bits of dog candy for them. It smelled almost like the candy Cassandra got from her family but the pieces were larger. She accepted hers politely but nibbled it carefully before she dared to eat more. She nodded towards Misto that it tasted okey and he accepted his piece as well.
"Well, I have to get back to work" said Justin as he raised up again. "But feel free to come back any time, and to bring your boyfriend" he said and waved at them awkwardly before he left.
The both cats had stiffened at the last comment. Misto felt himself blush and Cassandra hoped to the Everlasting Cat that Misto did not think they were on a date.
"I hope you didn't think.." she said but wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.
"No, no not at all" said Misto quickly with his eyes widened in what looked like panic. He suddenly felt uncomfortable about the fact that he wasn't sure who had seen him go after Cassandra and that they had been gone together for quite some time. "I am glad you brought me though" he added. "Do you think Alonzo will mind?" he finally said and swallowed hard.
"It's none of his business where I go with my friends" said Cassandra with a smile to make sure that they were both clear about the friend situation.
"I guess so" said Misto and smiled back, glad that she had been the one who said it. "Is it true that-" he started asking at the same time that Cassandra started talking.
"So what did you-" she said and stopped when they interrupted each other "You go first" they both said at the same time. They laughed and she nodded to Misto to go on.
"I just wondered.. Is it true what he said that you always are sad when you go here?" asked Misto and hoped that she wouldn't think he was snooping.
"Not sad really" she said quickly but frowned. "Well, actually, I usually come here when I feel like no one understands me" she admitted but had a hard time looking Misto in the eyes. It felt unfair to the other Jellicles, they just didn't share her interest, it wasn't that they didn't care.
"You feel that way too?" he asked surprised. He had thought that she didn't care about the others. She always looked so cool and relaxed and whenever someone tried to tease her and joke with her she never laughed at herself to please the others. He had no idea how she did it but he wished he could be able to take himself more seriously and not feel like he had to laugh it off when the others started teasing him for going into too much detail about his acts.
"I had no idea someone else felt the same way until you told me at the ball" she said feeling embarrassed.
"Oh good, then you understood what I meant even though I just kept babbling on" Misto said relieved.
"But I don't know how you make it, I thought you loved the attention for your stunts and I have never seen you take offense when the others tease you" said Cassandra frowning her eyebrows. "You always seem so cool and just laugh at them" she added looking at him curiously.
"I am always jealous of you who can just ignore them, I wish I could take myself more seriously and not always please the others" he said looking back at her equally curious.
The two cats just stood looking at each other for a moment. 'How could it be that the two cats that understood each others best had misunderstood the other one so thoroughly?' thought Cassandra. She shook her head smiling.
"So what did you think of the tour?" she asked changing the subject. She was still very much afraid that Misto would reject her.
"I loved it!" said Misto spontaneously. "I know you have said that the cats were important to the old egyptians but I had no idea it was like that! They made paintings and sculptures and did you see the sphinx?" Misto went on and Cassandra had to laugh at his excitement.
"Haha yeah I have seen most of the museum" she laughed. It was amazing that he had understood her.
"And all the cats look very much like you!" he said when he realised that it was probably her ancestors who had been the inspiration for paintings and sculptures. "But not the sphinx?" he said with a frown as he realised that it looked more human than catlike.
"No I know, it's a human with the body of a lion but it's what most people recognize, I can't very well sing about the cat god Bastet, no one knows who that is" she explained amused.
"There was a cat god of Egypt? Do you think she is the Everlasting Cat?" asked Misto and Cassandra's eyes widened. She had felt silly for hoping it was like that but hearing Misto drawing the conclusion so quickly made her put more value on her own reasoning. She started to realise how much of her thoughts she had discarded due to the others disinterest. She reminded herself that no matter what the others thought, she would not let that hold her back.
They started walking back towards the junkyard talking about the different complications of the possibility that their own Everlasting Cat had originated from the ancient cat god Bastet. Cassandra explained how the abyssinian cats had been brought from Ethiopia by the british imperialists and it might have been them who brought the celebration of the cat god with them which eventually resulted in the Everlasting Cat that the Jellicles saluted at the ball. She could feel her cheeks heat up in excitement but tried to be perceptive of Misto's continued interest as she spoke. He asked several questions and pointed out some connections that she hadn't made herself yet. When they reached the entrance of the junkyard they paused in the discussion and stopped just out of sight from the others.
"Don't you ever want to go there and see the sphinx, the pyramids, the statues for yourself?" asked Misto putting a paw on her shoulder.
"Well of course I would, but it's not like it's just around the corner!" said Cassandra smiling.
"If you want to go, I can take you" said Misto but froze when he saw the shocked expression of the queens face. He had thought about it on the way back and it would be tough but he was sure he could use his magic to bring her there like he had conjured back Old Deuteronomy from Macavity. The distances were far greater and it would be the two of them but he was certain he could make it if he just practised a little bit more. But he didn't get any reaction at all from Cassandra. He wondered if he had crossed some sort of line with the request, 'Maybe it was one thing to spend an afternoon together like this but far less okey to do something like that?' he thought. "Of course you could bring Alonzo" he tried, feeling embarrassed that he had ruined the good mood. That seemed to snap her out of it.
"Haha why would I want to bring him? He would be bored before we got there" she laughed but then got serious again. "Are you serious about this?" she asked suspiciously, it was too good to be true.
"Absolutely" said Misto relieved. "I just need a little more practise but I am certain I can do it" he said. He had thought she would become happy but to his surprise she started to cry. He squeezed her shoulder a bit not knowing what to do.
"Thank you" she whispered and then she hugged him. Misto got a bit startled but compose himself and hugged her back.
"Are you ok?" he asked after a while when it sounded like she had stopped crying.
"Yes" she said and drew back with a smile. "Yes, I just can't believe it" she said happily.
"Give me a few days to prepare" said Misto. "Maybe you could help me practise? You were of great help at the last ball" he added.
"Of course! Let's start first thing tomorrow" she decided with a smile. They hugged one last time before they went back into the junkyard to the others.
Cassandra looked like she had never been this happy before and Misto smiled to himself. 'Let's keep one surprise' he thought.
TBC.