DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA or any of the related titles. If I did...I would so have first dibs on Roy Mustang! Muahaha! -hides from Riza's gun and other rabid fangirls-

A/N: Okay, so believe it or not, I got the idea for this while I was in the shower. Isn't it weird how you always think of things while you're in the shower? Anyways, this is an ubelievably short chapter, and is pretty sad for the most part. I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with it, it's just something I wanted to try. If you guys like it, I'll definitely keep up with it. Like it says in the summary, there will be some implied sex in later chapters, definitely nothing right now. Yeah, there might be some bad language eventually too. I dunno.

Chapter 1: Gone

Dead!

The word echoed through Riza Hawkeye's mind. The water that was flowing freely over her body could not deafen the sound of it.

Colonel Mustang is dead!

It had been nearly three months and yet those words remained burnt into her brain. Every morning, she'd wake up, believing she'd see him in his office, sitting behind his desk, smiling at her and greeting her with his usual-

"Good morning, Hawkeye..."

Roy's low voice replaced the distressed one of Lieutenant Ross in her head. When she heard it, she nearly lost control. Her knees buckled and she leaned on the wall for support.

Even after three months, it wasn't real to her. They'd never found a body. There was no burial, only a small memorial service. They meant nothing to her. Not until she saw his face again would she believe any of it.

But part of her never wanted to see his face. It wouldn't be the same. It would have lost it's warm glow and his dark eyes would be cold and unfeeling. He wouldn't be the same...

No, he wouldn't be Roy Mustang anymore. He would be some cold, unloving corpse.

Riza sobbed and slid down the wall of her shower. She sat on the ground, wrapping her arms around her legs and pulling her knees against her bare chest.

Even the cold water couldn't wash away her pain. Several times a week this would happen. It was becoming quite the routine.

First, she'd attempt to forget her past by taking a long shower. Then, she would hear Lieutenant Ross yelling to her, crying and hysterical.

Dead! Colonel Mustang is dead!

Shortly after, she would collapse to the floor in tears. It would take her several minutes to recover, but she certainly would. If she didn't feel like standing, she would force herself.

Riza wiped her face quickly and stood up. She turned off the water, but remained in the shower. Staring at the wall, she tried to clear her head, failing miserably.

Slowly, she grabbed her towel and began to dry off. She wiped away a spot on her mirror and didn't jump at the face that was staring back at her. It was not the young, fierce face of Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. It was the weary, grief-stricken face of Elizabeth.

Her eyes were bloodshot and there were enormous bags under them from her lack of sleep. Her blonde hair hung limply around her face and seemed to have lost it's life as well.

Riza turned away, disgusted with what she'd become. However, part of her didn't care. She had no one to impress anymore. The only man she'd ever loved was gone. It would take a miracle to change that.

Before she walked away, she caught sight of the tattoo on her back. It wasn't the tattoo that had caught her eye, but the burn under her left shoulder instead.

"I-I can't..." Roy said quietly.

"You must!"

She remembered how concerned he had been. They had to destroy what was written on her back in the only way they knew how.

The pain had been excruciating. As she stood and thought about it, it felt like hot flames were coursing through her body.

She cried out and caught the edges of her sink before she hit the floor. Black Hayate came running, barking loudly. She sank down to his level and patted him weakly.

"I'm all right, Braha..." she told him. "I'm all right."

He whimpered and nuzzled the side of her leg. He was the only one she had left now. First Hughes, now Roy. She only hoped she'd be the next to go, so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

Regaining her strength, she walked back into her bedroom and slipped on her small nightgown. Not feeling tired, she wandered back into the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, she reached for the carton of milk. Suddenly, her mind flashed with scenes of Edward, quickly morphing to ones of Roy.

The carton of milk fell to the floor and burst open. Black Hayate began lapping it up. Riza kneeled down to clean it up with the towel that had been wrapped around her hair, tears streaming down her face.

"No, no, it's all right," she said, sniffling loudly. "Mummy's got it. Mummy'll clean it up."

Black Hayate didn't listen to her and licked up whatever she left on the floor. Throwing the carton away, Riza thought it was best for her to go to bed before she accidentally set something on fire.

Fire...

Riza groaned loudly. Everything she said or did reminded her of him. It was as if she simply could not get him out of her head.

She pulled the covers up to her chin and felt Black Hayate jump onto the bed by her feet.

"Black Hayate, down..." she mumbled.

Instead, he curled up and closed his eyes. Riza only wished it could be that easy. For nearly two hours, she remained awake, her mind teeming with memories she couldn't seem to erase.

Before long, she could have sworn she could see Roy lying next to her in bed. He didn't say anything, but he smiled at her, which was all that really mattered.

"Oh Roy," she whispered to the invisible stranger. "Why did you have to go and get yourself killed? Why can't you be here...with me?"

As if he were really answering her question, she could hear his voice in her head.

"I will always be with you..."

Riza's eyes relaxed as her imaginary man held her close. She could feel her breathing becoming steadier and her tears had stopped.

"I love you, Roy..." she muttered, half-asleep.

There was no answer this time. She almost wondered if she was alone again, but didn't dare to open her eyes and check. If she believed hard enough, she was certain that she could feel his breath on her neck. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, smirking lightly.

What she didn't know, was that Black Hayate had moved and was now curled up right beside her face.

A/N: Okay, that's the end of my short chapter. It's just kind of a beginning thing, to set the background of the story. Stuff will start to happen in the next chapter, I promise. Now, when I'm going to update is a good question. And the answer is...I don't know. I am quite busy with work, school and finishing CROSSFIRE (another Royai fic)! So, please be patient with me, but in the meantime: REVIEW! I want to hear if you're at least interested or intrigued by the summary or the first chapter.