This Night
Please accept this as a small gift to say thank you to all my friends on here – it's nearly my two year anniversary, and I've found one of my oldest stories to show to you – enjoy. I may even write a sequel.
~ SS19
"He's going to kill the Potters."
"When?"
"Tonight."
Albus Dumbledore rose from his chair, back straight, eyes blazing. "And you come to me with this, now?"
His companion stiffened, "I have risked life and limb to find out that information! My Lord does not give out such facts willingly!"
"How many times have I told you, not to use that title?"
A soft pause. "Some habits are difficult to forget, sir."
"Another title you can drop. You are no longer my student; you need not call me that. Sit down, my dear boy. I apologise for my temper; I know what you have risked to bring this information to me."
"I tried to find it earlier, but it is such an important operation that the details have been sketchy at most..."
"I know. It leaves us with little time, however, to organise any sort of defence." Albus sighed, massaging his forehead with crooked fingers, "What do you suggest?"
"I don't know."
"Do not know or do not wish to tell me?" Albus challenged, "I know that you and James Potter did not see eye-to-eye on many things―but this is no time to hold foolish childhood grudges."
"I understand the implications of the situation, sir! I am not holding any grudges!"
"I need to know when, tonight, Lord Voldemort plans to attack the Potters. You have to find out this information. How does he know?"
"They have placed their trust in the wrong person, sir."
"Indeed." Albus stood up, gesturing to the front door. "I need all the details you can find."
The other stood, heading toward the door.
"And Severus. I hope that I have not placed my trust in the wrong person."
Severus Snape turned to face him. "I am not loyal to him."
"Are you loyal to me?"
His words were poison. "Apparently, that remains to be seen." He slammed the door behind him.
Albus Dumbledore sighed between his teeth. They were arguing a lot, at the moment. Every conversation seemed to turn into a violent war with words―which normally ended with Severus storming out―just like this morning. He liked to finish things dramatically. Albus wasn't sure what was causing such tension between them, tension that had not been present before now; perhaps it was the importance of what they were doing, or the stresses of the war.
He thought of Severus fondly. The boy was a mass of anger and impassiveness and power―all of which sparked from him in varying levels of intensity, depending on what was happening around him. On the surface, he seemed as Slytherin as they could be; ambitious and clever, he was happy to use whatever means necessary to gain what he wanted. But. His bravery was beyond anything Albus had ever seen, in so many years. His desires to protect what was right and defend those who were powerless surprised Albus so many times.
So despite their many arguments, he respected the boy. He had even grown to feel some semblance of love toward him―much to the amusement of a slightly smug Minerva McGonagall, who had predicted such a development four years before.
Four years ago. Severus had returned to him not long after his graduation from Hogwarts. Albus was well aware that Severus had spent the last two years of his education consorting with Voldemort―he was branded with the Dark Mark, his mind polluted with the doctrines of Tom Riddle, his heart corrupted with dreams of power beyond his imagination. Albus knew that he was partly responsible―he had forced Severus from the light, and the other had reacted destructively. Unwilling to feel anything after the betrayal of his Headmaster―whom, before that, Severus had respected―Severus had closed his eyes, his mind, and finally his heart.
And Voldemort had been waiting.
Submerged in darkness, it seemed as though there could be no way back.
But. There seemed to be so many buts where Severus was concerned. The intelligent man Severus was challenged what he saw around him―the death, the torture, the hate. He began to feel, once more―and he felt disgust. Soon this transformed into terrible self-loathing. He tormented himself in every waking hour, understanding what was he was doing, not knowing how to stop it.
Albus didn't know what the turning point had been. The many times he had asked, Severus had always refused to tell him. Albus had come to the conclusion that it was simply too much. Something had happened, though, which had pushed Severus too far. He had crawled back to Dumbledore on his hands and knees at the age of seventeen.
Albus knew his decision to spare Severus from Azkaban had not been widely accepted―and many thought it was foolish. Where others saw a Death-Eater, Albus saw a child. A child that he had failed.
Those feelings of remorse had not spared Severus completely―Albus knew recompense was necessary, mainly because he could not convince himself that Severus had not understood what he was doing. To the contrary, Severus had been fully aware of what sins he had committed―and for a while, had enjoyed it. Albus told Severus that he would have to deliver information about Voldemort and his dealings to him; and he had seen the flicker of fear in Severus' eyes―the eyes of a seventeen year old boy―but he had not reacted to it. He knew that Severus deserved some sort of punishment.
So, thus had begun a turbulent and uncomfortable relationship that meant Albus had to place all his trust in a man who returned to Lord Voldemort whenever his arm burnt.
Albus had met many different people in his life―but none were as difficult to read as Severus Snape. He was so closely guarded that sometimes, Albus did not know what he was thinking, let alone where his loyalties truly lay. Sometimes, he showed emotions when they were arguing, but Albus could never determine the root of said emotion.
Nevertheless. He did care about the younger man. He would never lie about that.
He forced himself to think of the present. He had to trust in his spy―otherwise the prophecy would not come true. He would summon the Order of the Phoenix and see what protection they could provide for Lily and James Potter―and their son, Harry.
Severus Snape punched his fist into the stone wall opposite his bed, recoiling slightly when it hurt. But he needed to calm down before he headed to the Dark Lord.
Four years. He had been a spy for four years―and it had never been easy. Standing before the power that was Lord Voldemort, knowing that if he was discovered, then he would be destroyed―Severus was a man not easily scared, but Lord Voldemort scared him. He always had. It was what had attracted Severus to him in the first place. One day, maybe, he could instil the same fear into those who threatened him.
His days at Hogwarts had been torturous due to his lack of social skills, friendship network and the favoured Gryffindors, who had taken it upon themselves to make every day of his life difficult.
But.
Lord Voldemort had promised everything he had ever wanted, and Severus had been all too happy to accept and serve.
He changed into his Death Eater robes, pulling the hood up to hide his face, securing his mask so he could not be recognised. Things were supposed to be different now, he mused, as he wondered what the emotions warring in his chest were. He was supposed to be a different man.
But when he felt that prickle of fear and admiration, he realised that in truth, some things never changed.
"My Lord." Severus bowed deeply, attracting the Dark Lord's attention from his desk and the amounts of parchment in various neat piles. The Dark Lord always had been obsessed with organisation and tidiness. "Severus!" Voldemort stood, "It is early in the day for you to visit. I did not summon you."
"No, my Lord, you did not." Severus glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece―it read seven thirty. In the morning. Without even realising it, Severus had passed another night with no sleep.
"Then why do you come?" Voldemort folded his arms, fixing Severus with a piercing glare.
Severus looked at him for a moment, "It seems Dumbledore is aware of tonight's mission." He braced himself, knowing that the anger would come―and because he was the only one in the study, he was likely to be the one on the receiving end of that anger.
Voldemort stiffened, drawing himself up to full height. "What?"
"I know not how. But he questioned me about general Death Eater proceedings this morning―and he is definitely aware of our plot."
Voldemort stalked toward Severus, drawing his wand. "What have you told him?" He whispered.
"I have avoided the topic." Severus answered. The wand rested against his chest―yet there was no change in his tone or pitch, and nothing could betray the anxiety building in his chest. "He believes I am unaware of any such plan."
"Really? He believes that my closest advisor knows nothing of my aims to destroy that family?" Voldemort shook his head, "I disagree. Does he suspect you, Severus?"
"No. He believes I am completely under his control." Severus shook his head, "He is a fool, my Lord."
"Of course he is, Severus. Come and sit down." Voldemort withdrew his wand and gestured to the chair opposite his desk. After waiting for Voldemort to sit down, Severus followed suit, tucking his hands into his robes. Voldemort surveyed him for a moment, "You seem irritated, Severus."
"Irritated, my Lord?"
"Indeed. I can feel it, sparking from you." Voldemort leaned forward. "Enlighten me."
"I am angered that Dumbledore has found out what we plan to do, my Lord. Does that not suggest that we have a spy in our circle?"
"I certainly hope not, dear Severus. That could make things complicated." He paused, thinking Severus' words through. "I shall investigate the matter. I assume that I can rely on you to keep your eyes open?"
"My Lord knows that I am only loyal to him."
"Good. And as for Dumbledore―there is very little that he will be able to do between now and eleven o' clock this evening. He will also have to fight through my army to get to the house. It shall certainly be an interesting night...should everything go to plan..."
"You sound well prepared, my Lord." Severus intoned softly.
"When am I not?" Voldemort answered, and his tone was slightly sharper than usual.
"May I ask his Lord why I was not informed of this plan?" Severus asked, raising his eyes to meet Voldemort's. Voldemort looked at him for a long moment, "It is not a matter of trust, if that is what you are concerned about. Once I have destroyed this family, Severus, there will be nothing that can stop me. Stop us. I was concerned that if Dumbledore started to ask too many questions, he may have tried to interrogate you―and the plan would be foiled. I trust your abilities to spy, but I do not trust him. He could turn in the blink of an eye, Severus. Do you understand me?"
Severus nodded, "Of course. I am sure that this will be successful―and then what?"
Voldemort became distant. "And then I shall wage war on the rest of the Wizarding World..."
"Headmaster―"
"Severus, I am very glad to see you. I must apologise for my behaviour, earlier. It was wrong of me to accuse you of being disloyal." Albus had had a lot of time to think about what he had said whilst waiting for the Order of the Phoenix to gather, and it had been his priority.
Severus had not been expecting an apology. He smiled and accepted it as graciously as he could, "I was not as forthcoming as I normally am. However―I have never been disloyal to you."
Albus smiled and put an arm around his shoulders paternally, "I know that. Now, tell me what you have found out."
"The Dark Lord plans to attack at eleven o' clock this evening; and he also mentioned that you would have to defeat his whole army if you wanted to stop him." Severus glanced at him, "I have never seen him so confident, Headmaster."
His words carried more emotion than Albus would have liked, "Do not worry, Severus. We will stop him."
Albus was about to walk into the meeting room when Severus reached out and grasped his sleeve, "Albus..." He paused, conflict crossing his face. "If you do not stop him, he will be invincible."
Albus turned and looked at Severus, meeting his eyes. "Listen to me." He murmured, "We will stop him. I promise." It was not like Severus to be so concerned―normally he did not show much emotion when it came to such matters. It forced home the true magnitude of the situation. "Come on now, Severus. You need to remain positive." He touched Severus' cheek with his hand, "Trust me."
"With my life." Severus responded softly. Albus smiled, "Glad to hear it!" They both walked into the meeting room.
The Order of the Phoenix were a mixed collection of people; their main shared trait was that they were brave and intelligent. Most of them, Severus knew from his school days―there was Sirius Black, who nursed the same grudge against Severus since their schooldays together. Remus Lupin―again, one of the Marauders who had contributed to Severus' misery―although Severus had found him slightly more palatable than the rest. The Longbottoms, who Severus held no particular feelings for, and others such as the Weasleys.
"Are you sure he has nothing to do with this?" And then, of course, there was Alastor Moody. Alastor Moody hated Severus―had done since the moment Severus had returned, all those years ago. No matter what Albus said to protect his young friend, Alastor would not listen. He was forever threatening and unsettling the younger wizard. Severus supposed it was because of Moody's black and white view―you were either a Death-Eater, or you weren't. Severus, of course, broke that view―he was a shade of grey. Yes, he was in Albus' camp, and would remain so until he died―but the fact that he was forever being Summoned by the Dark Lord suggested to Moody that he could not be trusted. Thus, as Severus entered the room and took his seat at the end of the table, he was greeting with a hand pointed in his direction, and the spiteful words. "How else has Voldemort found out where the Potters have been hiding?"
Another thing that Severus disliked about Moody―he was one of those people who insisted on calling the Dark Lord by his name, something that worried Severus. He still flinched, even now.
"Alastor. Severus does not know where the Potters are hidden―so how could he have possibly told Voldemort where they were hiding?" Albus' voice was calming and pacifying, "I would rather you did not make such false accusations."
Moody glared at Severus, who regarded with him with a particularly neutral stare, before turning his eyes back to Albus.
"Dear friends, we find ourselves in a situation here. According to my source, it has become clear that Lord Voldemort plans to attack the Potters tonight. We have twelve hours to find out how we can prevent this." Albus folded his arms, "However, we must be careful. Thus far, Severus has been the sole deliverer of information to me. I cannot have his position as a spy exposed." He glanced toward Severus. "Having said that, Voldemort must be stopped. No matter what the cost."
There were general nods of agreement from around the table.
Severus lowered his gaze from Albus, becoming transfixed with the fire roaring in the corner of the room. He saw images in the flickering yellows and oranges.
He stared at himself in the mirror. He was covered in blood. It lined his hair and splattered his face and dusted his robes. He swallowed, not recognising himself. He frowned, feeling something twist his stomach. It had to be revulsion. What had he become? A murderer?
And as he turned from his reflection, he knew his mind was made up. This could not continue. This was the end.
"Severus?" He looked up when he heard his name being called. He looked at Albus, "Headmaster?"
"Daydreaming again, hey, Snape?" Sirius shot at Severus, who simply glared at him, before focusing his attention back on Albus.
"Did he mention what this army consists of?" Albus asked―and it sounded like he was repeating himself. Severus shook his head, "No. As far as I am aware, it consists only of Death Eaters."
"Albus, how can you go on his presumption? What if we find out that Inferi and werewolves and all sorts are involved with this?" Alastor folded his arms, staring at Severus. "You need to find out exactly what sort of attack is planned!"
"I cannot appear to be too interested, Moody! Use your common sense; the Dark Lord will wonder why I am so interested!"
"Are you not willing to put yourself at risk to save the Potters? That is a selfish attitude, Snape!"
Albus stepped in before Severus could respond―"Gentlemen, please, this is not helping."
Severus looked to the Headmaster, "Would you prefer that I risk my life more than I already do to find out this information? If so, I will follow your commands―but not those from an amateur such as Alastor Moody!"
"Snape! I have imprisoned more of your kind than you can possibly imagine―"
"Clearly not, otherwise, we would not be in this situation, would we?" Severus was barely controlling his temper―Moody was up on his feet, wand drawn.
"Are you daring to suggest that this situation is my fault, Snape? I think it is more likely that we have a spy in our camp―and who else has such wonderful access to both Albus and Voldemort? You know what they say―once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater!"
That was too much―Severus pulled out his wand, "Say it again, Moody, and I shall need no further reason to attack you."
"We see your true colours now!" Moody barely ducked as Severus unleashed a curse from his wand―and then found himself Disarmed. "Severus." Albus' voice cut across his angry haze, "Outside. Alastor. Sit down."
Severus glared at Albus and stormed from the room.
Once outside, he leaned against the wall, slumping down into a sitting position, regaining his breath. He had lost control, again. He was not sure what was wrong with him. Once, he had been so controlled that no-one could ever know what he was thinking―but now, he got angry so quickly...he sighed, resting his forehead on top of his knees, listening to his pounding heart and feeling like a naughty student sent from the classroom.
A few moments later, he heard the door open and footsteps approach him. "I assume you have calmed down enough to have this back?" Albus' voice. Severus raised his head and looked at the Headmaster, who was holding out his wand. "Thank you." He murmured, accepting the wand and putting it back in his pocket. "I'm sorry, sir."
Albus sat down next to Severus, "I have left the debating in the hands of Sirius. Sometimes all the noise gives me a headache." He turned his head to glance at Severus, "Is everything all right? I know sometimes we have our disagreements, but it is unlike you to...explode...so publicly."
Severus shook his head, "I do not understand, myself. This is so unlike me."
Albus smiled, "Maybe you have started to care for this war after all?"
Severus took this comment as an insult, "I have always cared about winning this war!"
Albus raised a hand, "Take a breath before you speak. Where you are concerned, emotions are dangerous. If Voldemort were to pick up on any of this, Severus, you would be destroyed."
Severus closed his eyes and nodded. "I know. It's just..." He swallowed. "It's just Moody. He doesn't understand how much stress I am under..."
"Much like you do not understand how much stress he is under from the Ministry. Do not think we are the only ones who have noticed how strong Voldemort is becoming. The Ministry are increasing pressure on the Aurors; Alastor is very aware that he may be failing everyone."
Severus looked at him for a long moment. "You really do try to see the good in everyone, don't you?"
"If I had not looked for the good in you, Severus, then you would be in Azkaban right now. I am quite grateful for that ability. He was out of line, though. He should not constantly question how trustworthy you are." Albus pushed himself back into a standing position, "Will you come back to the meeting?"
"No. I am going to try to find out what this army consists of. How long do we have?"
"After that little performance? About eleven and a half hours."
"I shall be back in an hour with something worthwhile to say." Severus stood too, folding his arms into his cloak.
"Be careful, dear boy." Albus felt that spike of fear in his chest, "Although this situation is dire, I do not wish to lose you."
"I will be fine."
"Severus...know that I will always trust you. You have proved to me that you are trustworthy." Albus placed a hand on Severus' arm. "Please be careful."
Severus smiled, "Aren't I always?"
Albus watched him walk away.
Albus sat back down in the meeting room, his thoughts preoccupied with Severus.
"I want to see Albus Dumbledore!"
"Well, I am sorry, young man, but Albus Dumbledore is not available until the morning!"
"Please! It's important! I must see him!"
"It's all right, Minerva, I shall see Severus now."
Sirius was talking, and Albus focused on the words, "We hide in the surrounding houses and stop Voldemort from reaching Godric's Hollow."
"Of all the people I expect to visit me, Severus, you were never one."
"I...I need..."
"Why would a Death Eater come all this way to see me?"
"I need help."
Albus looked into the black eyes and saw torment―beyond anything he had ever wanted to see in a child's eyes. That was all Severus Snape was. A child.
"With?"
"Him." His voice was a whisper. He watched as Severus rubbed his left arm, how his face was crinkled, how he was so thin he could practically disappear.
And although every instinct screamed at him―he was a Death Eater, he could not be trusted, he had committed such terrible sins―he heard only his heart. His heart, telling him that this was a chance to redeem himself.
"You wish to renounce Lord Voldemort?"
"...I will do anything...if you will just help me..."
Albus shook his head, wanting to dissipate the thoughts too. "Whatever we decide to do, it will depend on the information that Severus brings back. If we are fighting many times our number, it will be hopeless." He wasn't sure what they would do if Severus returned with the news that there was a huge army.
"Severus Snape!" Lucius Malfoy whirled around when he saw Severus walk past him, "Are you really going to walk past your old friend without even a greeting?" He admonished, walking toward Severus and holding out his hand. Severus shook it, "I thought that perhaps you were dazzled with the colour of your robes, dear Lucius."
Lucius looked down at his emerald robes, "I think that, if you investigate the matter enough, you will find that coloured robes are what all the best wizards are wearing." He examined Severus' black clothes, "Whereas black..."
"Allows many multitudes of sins to be hidden." Severus replied quickly―which made Lucius smile. "You never change, old friend. I suppose you have heard about tonight's events?"
"I have indeed; the Dark Lord has informed me of such a plot. Although I am supposed to be on the outskirts, Dumbledore has sent me from his sight―and now I wish to be involved. There are times when I miss..." He paused.
Lucius glanced at him, "Come. I am sure that we can find something for you to do. There is much organisation to be done."
"I assume then that we are dealing with most of our forces?" Severus asked, falling into stride next to Lucius.
"Indeed―mainly Death Eaters though, for they are most easily controlled, and we have need of such control. This operation cannot afford to fail, for if it should, then I would not wish to be around for the aftermath." Lucius shook his head, "It should be such a simple task―but I worry about the Order getting involved."
"I believe they are aware of the attack―someone told them, Lucius." Severus looked at him, eyes dark. "I think we have someone with duplicitous intentions in our circle."
Lucius stopped walking and stared at Severus. "You think we are being spied upon?" He murmured, and a frown creased his smooth brow. "That is such an accusation to make, Severus. If others found you making such claims, you could quickly become an enemy."
"I am concerned, that is all. If someone is delivering information to the Order from inside our circle..." Severus knew that this was a dangerous game to play―he was drawing attention to the fact that there was a potential spy in the Dark Lord's midst―and one in the Inner Circle, no less! It would mean that the Dark Lord, if he thought Severus' accusations were true, then there would be much interrogation and questioning. Severus had been careful to cover his tracks, and knew that he could not be discovered, but if no-one else seemed guilty either...it was a dangerous card to play. But he could not pretend to be blind―he was the Dark Lord's closest confidante, and it was his duty to suggest any problems that he saw. If he had ignored it, and it had become clear that there was someone passing information, then not only would he pay the price for his negligence, but Voldemort would also have every reason to decide that Severus was actually the spy. It was dangerous, yes, but also what he believed to be the best option.
Lucius was still staring at him. "Will you investigate the matter further?"
"I shall be watching, yes." Severus answered. Lucius nodded, "Good. I hope that it is not true."
"Is there a plan for tonight?"
"It is usual Death Eater style; conquer in numbers. The Dark Lord has been vague about the details; he wants any confrontation―of which there should be none―to take place outside of Godric's Hollow."
"Very well." Severus nodded, considering. "I can understand that."
"He will not be stopped, this time. He has waited for this moment since he heard the prophecy. The Order have no hope."
Severus smiled darkly, "Once the Potters are dead, nothing will stand in his way."
"Our way, Severus. We will finally have the power we deserve. We have waited so long for this..." Lucius was obsessed with power and blood supremacy―whereas now, the ideas were enough to turn Severus' stomach. He folded his arms into his black robes, regarding his friend with a cool gaze. "I wonder where I would be better spent, now?"
"With the Order." Lucius answered quickly, "I shall inform the Dark Lord that our plan nears completion―that means you can come to us if they find out any more information." Lucius smirked, "You are very well placed, Severus. I am glad that your loyalty lies with us."
"Why would it lie with Dumbledore, Lucius? That man has done nothing except victimise me."
"Then go now. There is a part of me that hopes not to see you again today, dear friend. Once this is over, you must come visit me at the Manor. It has been a long time, has it not?"
"Obviously, should you agree to this, then you must sever as many of your ties to other Death Eaters as possible. I want to be able to trust you, Severus, and I cannot if I know that you are still consorting with such corruptive influences such as Lucius Malfoy."
"Lucius Malfoy is the closest thing to a best friend that I have..."
"Still. He is the reason that you turned to them, is it not? If he had not made the proposition sound so tempting?"
Severus bit back his response, which would have been along the lines of it being Dumbledore who had pushed Severus away.
"I have to maintain my cover with Dumbledore, Lucius. Being seen to be consorting with you would possibly compromise my position―as much as I miss your company." And he did. Lucius had always admired Severus' intelligence, and at Hogwarts, there had been a friendship there that had lasted much torment and difficulty.
"I understand. I shall have to send you a formal invitation to young Draco's second birthday, then."
"Is he anything like his father?"
Lucius smiled affectionately, an expression that Severus was not used to in his older friend, "He has more of his mother in him, I believe."
"I doubt it, dear friend. He will grow up to hate mudbloods and Muggles as much as you do." He often ribbed Lucius about his main obsession―Lucius knew that Severus was more interested in the power that could be gained from harnessing the Dark Arts, rather than the actual ethics and politics behind the Death Eater cause. It had never been much of an issue, for either of them.
"I will leave you now, Lucius. Take care until we meet again." Severus turned to leave.
"Severus?" Lucius called after him, "I am glad that you are still on our side. We would be much less without you."
Severus smiled and continued to walk away.
Albus had returned to his office to contemplate matters before preparing to summon his own forces. They had eleven hours. He hated time limits. He poured himself a cup of tea and sipped the steaming liquid, hoping to find some relaxation in the drink.
And yet again, his mind drifted to Severus.
"I will not send you to Azkaban." He said, turning to face Severus from his window. The boy, sat opposite him, rose to his feet, "Why? It is all I deserve!"
"I do not believe so. You are a child who has been misguided, yes. But I do not think you are evil, Severus. I think that you have a chance to redeem yourself, should you choose to take it..."
Severus stared at him for a long moment, "What would you like me to do?"
"I want you to spy on Voldemort. You will remain one of his followers, yet you will be loyal to me. You will deliver information about his movements and whereabouts to me when I demand them."
Severus looked at him, clearly pondering this turn of events. "And if I refuse?"
"That is not an option. Severus, this is your only choice. Either that, or I will denounce you as a traitor to Lord Voldemort and you deal with his consequences."
Severus looked down at his hands, "You would like me to betray those who have shown me a semblance of comfort, when others have offered none? You would like me to place myself in constant danger, face death in the face every time he summons me?"
Albus simply stared at him.
Severus raised his eyes to Albus' blue. "Where will I stay?"
"Here. You will suggest to Voldemort that you are actually spying on me. He will ask you to keep that position as he knows it will be important to him..."
Severus nodded. "I accept."
Albus sometimes, in his weakest moments, felt bad about what he had done to Severus. He knew that what he had asked was an impossible and dangerous task―but he did not regret his decision. It was useful, having someone so close to Voldemort, and it had saved many peoples' lives over the four years. Tonight, it could save the lives of two people who were close to Albus' heart, and their young son.
Sometimes, he was surprised when Severus returned from the Dark Lord unscathed, but if he knew one thing about his newest possession, it was that Severus had a silver tongue. He could talk himself out of any problem, could twist any situation, and could lie as though it was second nature to him.
There was a knock at his door, and he raised his head. "Come in."
Severus opened the door and crossed the office, sitting down in the chair opposite Albus. He considered him for a moment, before opening his mouth.
And then he didn't say anything.
Albus raised an eyebrow, "Severus?"
"I'm thinking." Severus supplied, frowning.
"...About?" Albus prompted, putting his tea cup down and leaning forward. He had seen the expression in those dark eyes before―Severus was formulating a plan in his mind. "Would you like some tea?" He offered, and Severus nodded absently.
Without warning, Severus stood up and started to pace, up and down the ruby carpet. "He knows about the Order planning to stop him attacking the Potters." Whether this thought was spoken aloud to himself, or was supposed to include Albus in the conversation, the Headmaster was not sure. He did not reply, and focused on pouring the tea.
"So, he plans to draw the confrontation to outside of the village." Severus shook his head, "Why would he do that?" He continued to pace, talking aloud. "Unless he plans to destroy the Order and the child of the prophecy in the same night..." He stopped pacing and stared blankly at a piece of furniture. "But. He does not plan to use anything other than his Death-Eaters...and he knows that with Aurors, we would outnumber him...why? Why would he risk defeat by waging all-out war before he even penetrates the defences of Godric's Hollow?" Severus frowned, "I am missing something." He picked up the cup of tea and took a large mouthful, without even glancing at Albus. He swallowed the liquid and pursed his lips, still thinking. "There is something not right here..."
"What?" Albus decided he ought to join the conversation, which so far had been an internal monologue.
Severus looked at him as if he had not seen him before. "I don't know." He said finally. He glanced at the clock. "We still have time. Have you been to see the Potters yet?"
"I do not wish to panic them. I have sent Sirius―it would look less peculiar for him to arrive. It shouldn't alert the neighbours, either."
Severus was staring at Albus, "Do you plan to go, tonight?"
"Of course―if Tom plans to be there, then I shall be too. I could destroy him."
"You could..." Severus turned. "I have to go..."
"Severus! Would you please explain to me what the problem is, here?"
"I don't know what the problem is, Albus! And, for your information, I have a splitting headache and have not eaten or slept since two days ago. I plan to go to my office and think things through." Severus walked away, leaving Albus confused and more preoccupied than he was before Severus had arrived.
Severus hated missing a piece. When he was doing jigsaw puzzles, one of his preferred recreational activities, he hated not being able to fit a piece into the right spot. He hated, even more, when the jigsaw puzzle was incomplete.
Being a spy, he had to have the full picture. He had to know who was saying what around him. His role was so precarious at times―if someone even whispered to the Dark Lord that he was a traitor, then the Dark Lord often took that as the truth, and Severus would have found himself in a cell with very little chance of escape. As a result, he made it his prerogative to know what was happening around him, and what everyone was saying. He found it very useful.
So. The fact that this mission was not quite clear in his head yet suggested to him that he was missing a piece, and it was irritating him.
He sighed, pushing his blank sheet of parchment away from him. He had planned to write everything down and try to find the absent link, but he could hardly concentrate. He put his head down on the desk, wondering how long he had been suffering with this headache for.
His eyes drifted closed.
"Albus Dumbledore wants you to stay in Hogwarts? Why is that?" Voldemort demanded of Severus. Severus was on his knees before the Dark Lord, head bowed, his dark hair hiding his eyes. "He wants me to spy on you." He said finally, glancing up toward Voldemort.
Voldemort had his wand drawn. "Really? A spy?" He placed his wand beneath Severus' chin, forcing Severus to look up at him. "And are you?"
"I have accepted his offer of Hogwarts, my Lord, for I believe that it could be useful to you. I would have access to the Order of the Phoenix, my Lord―all I have to do is feed him so false information about what your plans are."
"Oh, Severus. How could I possibly trust you, if you were staying in Hogwarts? How do I know, now, that you are really mine?" Voldemort questioned, digging his wand in harder.
"I do not know how to prove my loyalty to you, my Lord. You know that I have carried out your every order without question, and you know that I cannot stand Dumbledore. I see this as a perfect opportunity―we would finally be able to gain the information that we need from him!"
Voldemort leaned forward so he could whisper against Severus' ear, "Should I find out that you are lying to me Severus, I will destroy you. Piece by piece."
"I do not make a habit of lying to you, my Lord." Severus answered. Voldemort drew back to look into Severus' eyes. "I am glad to hear it, dear servant." He let his wand trail along Severus' cheek, "Very glad indeed."
Severus jerked awake with a gasp. He had fallen asleep. He brushed a hand across his eyes, rubbing the sleep away, standing up and stretching his back. His nap had done him little; he was now more tired than he had been before. He crossed to his bed, glancing at the clock once again. Maybe now, he could catch an hour's rest before the night began?
He lay down on the covers and turned over, closing his eyes and relaxing his shoulders.
Albus was arranging the final few things with the Order. It was now two o' clock―they had time to spare, but he wanted to be sure. They had a map of the area, and he was assigning different duos to different areas. There was a perimeter of ninety metres around the house that the Potters inhabited; Albus did not want any of the Death-Eaters to get that close. He made sure that everyone was happy with the plan, and then raised his gaze to look at them.
"Before you leave. I do not have to impress upon you the seriousness of this situation. As far as we are aware, Harry Potter is the boy that the prophecy speaks of. He must be defended at all costs, otherwise we leave the fate of this world to chance. I do not want this to turn into bloodshed―but I am warning you all that we risk much by carrying this out. I do not want it to seem hopeless; but it will be difficult. Just remember what we are facing. Lord Voldemort is the greatest threat we have to this world. We must stop him." He looked at them through dark eyes. "We have to stop him."
The Order members nodded.
"Don't worry, Albus. He will not get past us." Sirius said―echoing the thoughts of many in the room.
Albus nodded, "Very well. You leave in half an hour. Make sure that any Muggles are evacuated, and let me know the moment Death Eaters start arriving."
He watched them leave, feeling a terrible sense of foreboding in his chest.
And when the room was empty, he raised his head and walked toward the fourth floor, where he would find Severus.
He leaned against the doorway, unwilling to wake the sleeping Severus. He knew that the boy got very little sleep due to his nightmares, his demons, and the demands of his role―Voldemort liked to meet at night-time, and contrarily Dumbledore liked to have his meetings during the day. Severus survived on maybe four hours sleep a week.
He took a step into the room, watching the other. Severus was lying on his side, one hand tucked under his pillow, his body curved slightly inward. When asleep, he looked younger. Albus was often struck with how old Severus sometimes appeared.
"You care for him, don't you, Albus?" Minerva's soft Scottish lilt was slightly questioning. "I know you. You can never refuse a lost case."
"He does not have anyone, Minerva, except those who would betray him in a second. He just needs someone to look after him."
"Do not try to be the father he does not have, Albus. Severus would never allow it."
"I do not plan to replace any of his family, Minerva. He is just a boy. My job is to protect him."
"Nevertheless. I have known you longer than I have known anyone else at this school. You are the one person he could learn to respect―and I see it, when I look at him. He has forgiven you for the things you have done. Now all you have to do is forgive yourself."
"I do not need to..."
"But Albus. You cannot forgive yourself by convincing yourself that you love him. That is dangerous―and arrogant, too. I do not think Severus could ever learn to love."
"I do not need love, Minerva." Albus paused, becoming reflective. "It is he that needs the love."
Minerva had always been touched by Albus' motivations to do good in everyone's lives. But she was worried. "Do you seem him as the reluctant student or the wayward son, Albus?"
And Albus was not able to answer that question.
Severus was stirring. He frowned, just slightly―
"On your knees, Snape. You will show me the respect I deserve!" Voldemort brandished his wand and Severus collapsed to his knees, clutching his bleeding arm close to his chest. "I warned you, Severus, never to betray me."
"You have no proof!" Severus challenged―and Voldemort responded only with the Cruciatus. Severus cried out in pain, and Voldemort laughed, "I need no proof. I will punish you for your actions!"
"Albus Dumbledore was a great man! You are nothing compared to him!"
"Ah―there is your mistake, dear servant. I was nothing compared to him. But now he is gone, and you have no one to protect you from me." And he cast the Cruciatus again, and Severus fell to the ground, roaring in his ears and sounds that were so alien to him screaming from his throat―
"Severus!" Albus shook the younger man so that he awoke. Severus sat bolt upright, his whole body trembling and drenched in a thin layer of sweat. Albus was sat on the bed next to him, reaching out and pressing a hand to Severus' arm. "There now. Are you all right?"
Severus looked at him, frowning. "I don't remember―what was I dreaming about―it was important, I think it was important―"
"Severus. Take a breath." Albus summoned a glass of water to his hand and gently handed it to Severus. Severus sipped it carefully, face pale. "Did I say anything?"
"No. You just started tossing and turning." Albus frowned, "It was a nightmare, I assume?"
"I was frightened, I remember that―he had found me out―but―" He shook his head, "Damn! I can't remember!"
"You need to relax. It's just a dream, Severus. Dreams come and go with time."
"It was so vivid..." Severus trailed off, leaning back against the wall. "It was like...it was real..." He put the glass of water down on the bedside table, looking up into Albus' eyes. "Sorry. I should be focusing on today."
"You needed a break. I just wanted to be sure that you had that. Are you going to accompany us?"
"Yes. I need to be there, so I can decide where to place myself in order to not be discovered. How long do we have?"
"Eight hours. I already have much of the Order in position. Alastor is bringing some Aurors―I need to go to meet them and him." Albus stood, "Will you come now?"
"Yes." Severus replied, slightly distracted. "I will."
"Severus. Do not worry about what your mind has conjured. It will be nothing, I promise you. Come, now." He held out his arm and Severus stood, straightening his robes and glancing at his reflection. "The moment of truth, then?"
Albus nodded. "We shall be victorious; I have made you that promise."
Alastor greeted Albus with the smallest of smiles and Severus with a glare. Severus ignored him, instead moving to look the Aurors up and down. There were twenty of them―and he saw fire in their eyes and strength in their frames. This reassured him, just slightly.
"So, Snape, did you find out anything that could be particularly useful to us now? Or are you still worrying about betraying your beloved Dark Lord?"
"Alastor!" Albus said, "That is uncalled for."
Severus did not answer. "I warned you never to betray me." He frowned, knowing those words but not sure where from. He raised his head after a moment, "Only that none of us will want to be around in the aftermath when his mission is a failure." He said finally, more to Albus than Alastor.
Albus looked at him, concerned. "We will have to decide how to play that later, Severus."
Severus winced. He looked down at his left arm. "I have to go."
Albus watched him for a moment, "It's just a dream."
"Not this time." Severus murmured. "No. There is something important in this." He turned and walked away.
"Severus!" Voldemort called Severus to his side, "I am glad you are here. I need you to take care of some business here for me."
Severus crossed to the Dark Lord, through the throngs of Death Eaters preparing for battle. When he was by Voldemort's side, Voldemort leaned in to murmur, "I want you out of the way―so Dumbledore does not see you possibly helping me. I have considered recently―and although things will be different by the end of this evening, I may still need a spy in Hogwarts. Therefore, I want you to stay here."
"My Lord! Surely I can be of some assistance?" Severus was not going to be forced to stay in Riddle Mansion like some child.
"You have been of assistance―and I appreciate that―but I will not put you in the battle today." Voldemort's tone had turned dangerous. "I do not expect you to argue with me."
"But―Dumbledore will be there! Surely you need every man that you have? Every soldier? That includes me!"
"I doubt that Dumbledore will be much of a problem―despite how much he thinks I am nothing compared to him."
"You are nothing compared to him!"
"Ah―there is your mistake, dear servant. I was nothing compared to him. But he is gone now."
"You plan to kill Dumbledore." Severus murmured finally, staring at Voldemort, horror filling his stomach.
"Do you not think that would be a perfect end to the evening, dear Severus? If I were to destroy the boy of the prophecy...and kill Dumbledore too? In one stroke? The Wizarding World would fall at my feet." Voldemort smiled to himself. "He will find himself so occupied with the battle that he will not even see me. It will be perfect..."
Severus could not believe this. This was the missing link. Drawing the battle away from Godric's Hollow, so Dumbledore would be practically out in the open. "I must fight with you, my Lord!" He had to warn Albus!
"Severus, I admire your dedication to my cause, and to me, but this time, you shall remain here."
Before he could truly consider the words he had spoken, they were out in the air. "You cannot stop me!"
Voldemort stared at him, "Severus, what is wrong with you this evening? It is very unlike you to speak out of turn!"
"I want to fight! I want to see Dumbledore fall!" He was trying to direct all his emotions into something useful―but all he could feel was fear.
"I know―I know you have reason to detest him, Severus, but not this time. Now―either you will stay here voluntarily―"
"I will not." Severus met Voldemort's gaze, "I shall not stay here."
"Or I shall force you to stay." Voldemort clapped his hands. Two Death Eaters appeared out of nowhere, one either side of Severus. "Remove his wand and put him in one of the cells downstairs. You will learn some manners and obedience, Severus."
And before he knew it, he was being pulled out of the room by his arms, and thrown into a cell. One of the Death Eaters pulled his wand from his pocket, and then the door was locked. He leapt up, "I need to be in the battle!" He shouted after them, charging at the bars.
But they ignored him, and he was left by himself.
It was half past nine. Albus looked around again. Still no sign of Severus. He had been summoned by Voldemort―Albus assumed that could mean he was with the Death Eaters. There was a part of him that just wanted Severus in sight, so he could see him. He was beginning to worry, now. Darkness had fallen completely now, and he was lingering in the forest just outside of Godric's Hollow with five Aurors and Alastor. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, wondering when it would begin.
Severus rattled the bars of his cell again. He wasn't sure if it was to attract attention or to break them. Both were unsuccessful. And, of course, the Dark Lord had imposed wards on the building so he could not Disapparate. How was he supposed to get to Albus now? If Albus did not know that Voldemort planned to assassinate him first...he started pacing his cell, worrying. Albus, you need to listen to me!
Albus looked at his golden pocket watch. Quarter to ten. They had approximately one hour. He was beginning to worry now. He could feel the anxiety in his chest. If Severus had been discovered, would he know? This was such a dangerous game for them to play―and he was beginning to worry. Severus was young and determined to do right―but he would put that above his personal safety. He sighed.
Alastor glanced at him, "Albus?"
"No matter what you think, Alastor, Severus is a good man. I'm worried for him."
In an uncharacteristic show of kindness, Alastor simply shrugged. "That won't help him. We need your focus now, Albus―you need to lead us through this."
"I am focused." Albus answered. "I will make sure we all get out of this alive." Including Severus.
There were footsteps. Severus leapt up from the floor―to see a flash of blonde hair. "Lucius!"
The footsteps stopped. "Severus, I can't."
"Listen to me, please! The Order plan to destroy the Dark Lord tonight; I am the only one who can stop them!"
Lucius came into view, "Why?"
"Because they do not think I am a threat. I can disrupt them―I can stop this. Please, you have to let me out."
Lucius stared at him, "The Dark Lord has ordered for you to remain here..."
"The Dark Lord does not know that his life has been threatened! Please, Lucius, unless you wish to see us all in Azkaban by the end of this evening, then you will unlock this door!"
There was an explosion to their left. Albus and Alastor jumped―Albus looked to his watch―"They are attacking early."
"The bastards!" Moody shouted, "What do we do?"
Albus paused for a split second, "What we planned. We attack back. Not within the perimeter, do I make myself clear?"
Alastor nodded, "See you on the other side."
Albus nodded, and drew his wand.
"The Dark Lord will kill me if he knows it was I who let you out!"
"Then I will not tell him! I shall pretend I found my own way out! Please, Lucius!" Severus was starting to get desperate. He had to get to the battle. "Please!"
"Severus..."
Albus was unable to see what was happening. He could hear noises, explosions of spells and shouts and some screams―but he could not see who was winning. He moved his position, ducking between two houses, closer to where the Potters were hiding. If this was the way it was going to be, then he had to be sure that he was the last defence that Lily and James had. They trusted him―and he would not let them down.
He fingered his wand, staying out of sight. He knew where Sirius and Remus were hidden―they would be in the front garden of the house opposite him. In the two houses to his left would be six Aurors, split into groups of three. He was well defended―
He felt it, rather than saw it. Out of nowhere, four Death Eaters appeared. It took Albus a moment to react―he dispatched two with a wave of his wand, and but the third stole his advantage when Albus was distracted and knocked him over.
Albus reached for his wand―but then, a hooded figure appeared and Stunned the two remaining Death Eaters. He reached down, grabbed Albus' hand and pulled him from the ground, jerking him out of sight behind a building.
The moment they were safe, he pulled back his hood.
"Severus!" Albus nearly collapsed with relief, fighting to get his breath back. "Thank you, my boy. Where have you been?"
"It's you..." Severus whispered―and his face was contorted with worry. "The Dark Lord's plan is to kill you as well as the Potters. You have to get out of here."
"How do you know this?" Albus demanded, trying to keep Severus' attention as the other looked around him worriedly. "Severus!"
"The Dark Lord told me―when I tried to come to the battle, he locked me in the cells in his dungeon. Lucius released me―he believes I am here to stop the Order from killing the Dark Lord―but I had to get to you, Headmaster..."
Albus grabbed both of Severus' arms, "Then I cannot leave! If I am not here, then he will know that he has a spy."
"I will not ask you to stay here for me, Albus! Do you realise what will happen if you are killed here tonight? That will be the end of our fight!" Severus shook his head, "You are the thing that binds us together. If you are destroyed, then what hope will we have?"
"I cannot leave―I am organising this operation―I have to protect James and Lily and Harry. You have to trust me, Severus. And as for you―where should you be?"
"With the Death Eaters. I just couldn't let you be destroyed―I should have worked it out before!"
"This is not your fault, Severus. I will make sure that I am not killed. You have to be sure that you are not discovered between now and the end of the fight." Albus raised one hand and touched Severus' cheek, "You mean too much to me."
"I will try to stop him. I will make sure they do not come close to you. You have to make sure Harry is not killed."
There were shouts around them, "Find Dumbledore!"
"Get out of here, Severus!" Albus pushed him away. "Get out, and find Voldemort. Stick to him."
Severus looked back, unsure.
"He's got to be near!"
"Go!" Dumbledore bellowed―and Severus disappeared into the forest.
Severus was not sure how to play his hand of cards. He paused, stopping to catch his breath and also to rethink his situation. He needed to pretend he was stopping an Order plot. If he could be seen to saving the Dark Lord, then he would be safe―and he would be able to see what was happening from the Death Eater side.
He needed an Order member who would be happy to cooperate with him. But who?
He raised his head when he heard a shout behind him, "Turn and face me, Death Eater coward."
"Alastor!" He whirled. "I need your help!"
"Snape! I don't have time for this!"
Severus crossed to him, "Please listen to me. I know that you do not trust me, and you have every right not to, but I cannot do this alone now! The Death Eaters are trying to kill Albus, and the only way I can stop them is to be with them. I can't do that unless―" He pulled out his wand and pointed it over Alastor's shoulder. A Death Eater collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Alastor had not even seen him coming. He glanced at the body, and then back to Snape. "I help you?" He finished Severus' sentence.
"Please." Severus answered.
Albus ducked a foul curse thrown in his direction, turning to check that Sirius and Remus were still fighting too. He needed to protect them, as much as himself. They had seen him in difficulties, and had crossed to him, willing to defend him with their lives. All was quiet again.
"Albus! You should get out of here!" Remus shouted to him, referring to what Severus had said. Albus had filled them in. "I can't. It would put too much pressure on Severus."
Fred Longbottom sprinted toward them. His face was smeared with blood, "Albus!" He stopped in front of Albus, "Snape's got Alastor. He's taken him to You-Know-Who."
Albus looked at him, "What?"
Frank pointed, "I saw him―Snape was leading him straight to Voldemort―seemed to have Alastor's trust―he is putting him in terrible danger! Back that way. I can take you there."
Alastor pulled his wand from his robes, "I can stop you!" He pointed it at Voldemort's back. Voldemort turned, "Of course. Alastor Moody. I know all about you."
Alastor glanced over Voldemort's shoulder to where Severus was lurking in the trees. How he hoped he could trust this treacherous snake.
Voldemort raised his wand―but before he could cast any spell, he staggered. In that second, Alastor cast his own spell.
And Severus leapt forward and knocked the Dark Lord over, protecting him. He raised his own wand and blasted Moody out of sight―before picking himself up off the Dark Lord. "My Lord!"
Voldemort pulled himself to his feet, turning to face Severus. "What are you doing here?" He demanded. "Did he see you?"
"No. My Lord, I had to come―I couldn't―" He broke off.
Voldemort stared at him. "This is not finished―but I do not have the time to punish you for your disobedience―make yourself useful and find Dumbledore. I want him dead by the end of this evening."
Severus nodded. Voldemort held out his wand. "Wait." He reached out and touched Severus' cheek. Severus met his gaze. Then Voldemort pulled away.
Severus turned and sprinted back into the woods. He ran―kept running―and collided with someone else.
"What are you doing?" It was Albus, and his tone was almost hurt – underlaid with anger, "Leading Alastor to him?"
Severus shook his head, "Albus! I have just saved the Dark Lord's life, so he has sent me to find you―Alastor and I made sure that I now can protect you!"
Albus stared at him, "I thought, perhaps, that this was all a ruse. You are playing both sides so very well, Severus, that..."
Severus met his eyes. "No. I am only playing his side. I belong to you."
"It is not a case of belonging, Severus―I only want to be able to trust you."
"You can trust me. You can always trust me."
Albus nodded. "Then what are you going to do?"
"Protect you from him." Severus had made his decision. "And if it all ends tonight―I have done my best."
Being with Albus put Severus' heart at rest. Knowing that Albus was behind him meant that Severus could relax, just a little. They were bombarded by Death Eaters, and Severus was beginning to feel concern hit his stomach. "Why isn't he coming for you?"
"Is he waiting for you to deliver me to him?" Albus looked at Severus, seeing the dark expression in his eyes.
"What time is it?" Severus asked, glancing around him.
"Five to eleven." Albus answered.
Severus froze. "This is a distraction."
Severus was moving too fast for Albus to catch up, "What are you suggesting?"
"He's asked everyone else to find you. I am going to the house. I think he plans to kill the Potters alone."
"You are going to follow him?" Albus murmured.
Severus glanced at him. "No. I am going to save them."
"Severus. Don't do anything foolish."
Severus didn't look back.
Severus knocked the door down―he heard a voice from the hallway. "Don't even bother, Voldemort!"
"It's not―it's Snape. Severus Snape. And we don't have time to argue, Potter." He was confronted with his childhood enemy―James Potter, who was staring at him with obviously similar feelings. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Severus shot back, "I could ask myself the same question―" He looked up, and at the top of the stairs stood Lily and a baby, wrapped in blankets. And that was when he remembered. "We have to get out of here―he's coming for you."
"You're a Death Eater! Why should we trust you?"
Severus paused. "I am your last chance. He is minutes behind me. You can come with me, and risk me being a traitor―which I am not―or you can wait for him. But he will destroy you. All three of you."
"James." Lily murmured from the top of the stairs. "We can trust Severus."
James looked at him. "What is the plan?"
"We just have to get out of here."
James and Lily crossed past Severus, out onto the doorstep. Lily passed Harry to James, as they ran up the street, away from the continuing battle. Severus pulled his hood up over his head, "We can get to the edge of the Hollow, and then Disapparate. We just need to hide from here."
They carried on moving quickly―"Potter!" A voice cried from behind them. Severus nearly froze. He pulled his wand from his pocket. "Keep going."
"Three times, you have defied me. It shall not be again."
Severus turned and fired a spell at Voldemort. The wind grabbed his hood and revealed some of his face―he turned away quickly. "Disapparate." He ordered.
"Avada Kedavra!"
The green light shot toward the group of three adults and one child―they managed to Disapparate, but there was a scream of pain―
And when they Apparated, only four miles away, there were only two adults and one child.