Disclaimer: I own not a thing.
Character Focus: Zero Kiryuu, some Yuuki Kuran/Cross and ZeKi.
Summary: Betrayal burns and wears down his bones while the eyes of a monster seem far too human. You don't love your enemies when you can't love yourself.

(You are the shell around and I cannot escape; I swallow my pride.)


There are nights when he hunts that he cannot think straight. There is the feeling of hunger and adrenaline and the need to run, but it's only the cold pinch of the Bloody Rose in his hand and the satisfying shrieks of vermin that make him crash down to Earth, the fluttering of ashes in the wind brushing by him like the stench of death that clings so desperately to his skin. The peace he feels when his job is complete is not human, but then again neither is he. So he contents himself for the night and forces himself to go home, ignoring the creature lingering in the doorway to his mind and heart that threatens to engulf him completely, clawing and screeching at him for more. The satisfaction is only temporary and the screams from his own mind and body disturb him so much he always has to wonder: when did I become so horrible?

He cannot answer himself because his mind aches with the effort to remember. The halcyon days are distant in his heart and the child in him that grew up so long ago -

(far too fast; let's smile again, I want to smile again, don't leave me alone anymore, please don't go!)

- just wishes for some of that fleeting euphoria to come back, tangible to his searching fingertips as he gropes the distant, mockery of a cotton candy sunset for a shred of humanity and life. He is not surprised when he finds nothing of the sort. Fairytales are for princes and princesses and he is neither; he was a part of that once, a knight in glorious shimmering armor who guarded the princess with his life. Back then there was only a tiny fire of hope in his heart that one day he would be the prince in her story, but of course it was futile. The dragon he'd protected her from all those years had stolen her away, greedy and hungry for the purity -

(honesty and love; she gazed at him with those eyes often and it always stole his breath away.)

- she possessed and shone with every day. And with all the glamour and lies that the dragon possessed, he became a glorious prince and stole away the knight's duty. He had been left with nothing but memories to burn and the aching of betrayal and a love long since denied that submerged his heart and bones in an eternal flame that would never leave him. Back then he had wanted to scream, and he had; he had screamed until it died into a whisper and until his tears seemed to be permanent marks etched into his face, dried by the cold air of reality.

Zero did not cry anymore. He became colder than he'd ever been, his shell more prominent and now not a single person was allowed within. He guarded the school still, ever the sacrificial lamb, but he did not remain. For if he did the burning would return and there was no innocent blood to willingly feed on anymore. There was just empty air where the warmth of a body once danced across cheerfully with a box of tablets that were never enough.

(Never enough compared to her. Nothing was.)

Ashen colored fingers would clench tightly on to pristine white sheets, so tight he thought his hand would break in the effort. Sleep never came easily even when he was tired. And tonight he was; he was tired of what he felt and even more tired of never feeling at all. Teeth were clenched together tightly and he forced his eyes closed, shaky breaths emerging only by a force of will. If he forgot to breathe he would not. Part of him wanted to just let go, but his strict sense of duty never allowed it.

(You'll fail them all if you die; kill the monsters and then you can let yourself go. Only then. Stop being weak.)

Zero Kiryuu wanted his sunshine back. Even if it was a lie, he wanted back all he had lost. Reality was too cruel and he didn't want to face it; he was a coward and this was a fact he did not care to deny. Not anymore. He willed himself in to sleep, partly hoping to never wake up, because these days nightmares did not await him, only a mock joy and a sad sense of nostalgia.

Behind his lids colors danced, laughter and smiles and warm shades of brown engulfing him.

He'd have his fairy tale for now.

I know, I know. xD I haven't updated my story Binds of Loneliness but I lack inspiration on an idea for the theme I'm on; not to mention, I've been extremely busy lately.

This came to me... out of nowhere. It's probably not that amazing due to the fact I wrote it in twenty minutes, but I'm a bit proud of it. I've written nothing about Zero and I love him to pieces. I feel a bit in a blank mood so I figured I could pull it off okay. What do you guys think?

Please read&review!

~ believing in you.