Disclaimer: Just because I'm writing this doesn't mean I own the real thing
Note: BURN! I can play the beginning of "Breaking Free" on the piano! BURN! Mahahahaha… sorry…I feel like a jerk now…
Summary: A parody of High School Musical. Completely OCed, cause it's a parody. A funny one, too.
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High School Musical: THE SKI LODGE
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(JACK BOLTON and TROY BOLTON are playing basketball in the so called GYM at the SKI LODGE)
JACK: Remember, TROY, the playa always goes right!
TROY: (stops dribbling b-ball) Why? That's stupid. They should go at least left or up and down!
JACK: There is no up and down in basketball, unless you're a minor.
TROY: Yo, why you gotta be like that, pops? Why you be gotta be teasing me?
JACK: (takes the basketball from TROY) That's it. No more basketball for you. And don't talk like that ever again.
TROY: Daddy!
JACK: Don't daddy me.
(TROY takes the basketball from JACK)
TROY: So I'm going left?
JACK: (sarcastically) No, you're going right.
TROY: Okay!
JACK: No! I was being sarcastic!
(TROY just goes right anyways. Shows how much he listens.)
JACK: I said go left!
TROY: I did go left!
JACK: You went right!
TROY: Psh. No I didn't.
JACK: Uh, yes you did.
(JACK imitates what TROY just did. TROY on the other hand, doesn't know left from right.)
TROY: I did go left! (Puts up right hand)
JACK: Uhm, son, that's your right and my left.
TROY: Exactly! I went left!
JACK: Son, your left hand is the one that makes an L.
(TROY makes an L with his left hand)
TROY: Oh…
(MRS. BOLTON walks in all fine)
MRS. BOLTON: Boys! Stop playing! We didn't come all the way over here just to play basketball!
TROY and JACK: Uh, yes we did.
MRS. BOLTON: You boys have no life…
JACK: Me? A boy? I'm forty years old for heaven's sakes!
TROY: I'm not a boy either!
MRS. BOLTON: And you're certainly not a man.
JACK: If he's not a boy, nor a man, what is he?
TROY: I'm not girl if that's what you guys are thinking…
MRS. BOLTON: Oh, anyways. The party!
JACK: Right… the party..
MRS. BOLTON: (seductively) You'll get something yummy.
JACK: (brightens up) Right-o! The party!
TROY: Ew…. My horny parents, I present to you readers.
JACK: Come on, Troy! You got to get ready for uhm…
MRS. BOLTON: The kids' party!
TROY: Oh. No. I'm not going.
MRS. BOLTON: Young adults.
TROY: I'm going to be like, the only sixteen year old there!
MRS. BOLTON: TEENAGERS! My gosh, Troy!
TROY: Uh, no. There's going to be booze.
JACK: Then, have some booze! And maybe you can get some-
MRS. BOLTON: JACK! (to TROY) No, there is no booze, and you will not have sex until you graduate college, unless otherwise.
TROY: Right…. And yet they tell me how to live my sex/love life.
JACK: (pushing TROY) Come on, son! Cheer up! I'm pretty sure you'll have fun!
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(GABRIELLA MONTEZ is sitting down reading a book called Kissing Kate. MRS. MONTEZ enters)
MRS. MONTEZ: Gabriella! Get up! You're going to the party! (looks at book) I swear, Gabriella, reading will give you no fun.
GABRIELLA: It gives me fun. I'm one of those people who enjoy reading books!
MRS. MONTEZ: And expands their vocabulary with unnecessary words!
GABRIELLA: Isn't that a good thing?
MRS. MONTEZ: By reading that book? No. It's a lesbian book, Gabriella.
GABRIELLA: A very intriguing one, too.
MRS. MONTEZ: You read that five billion times already.
GABRIELLA: And?
MRS. MONTEZ: And a billion other books involving sex, partying, pregnant girls, bisexuals, homosexuals, lesbians-
GABRIELLA: Okay! I'm going!
MRS. MONTEZ: Good. I laid your best clothes in the room.
(The two both turn to exit. MRS. MONTEZ turns around again, making GABRIELLA bump into her.)
MRS. MONTEZ: And one more thing. If I see that book again, I'm going to burn it. Clear?
GABRIELLA: Ultrasound clear!
MRS. MONTEZ: Don't do that. Just… say… clear. Not sound waves clear, or anything like it.
GABRIELLA: Sure, mother.
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(TROY and GABRIELLA arrives at the party. Much to TROY's dismay, there were not a lot of hot chicks. Much to GABRIELLA'S dismay, she didn't have her book. So, point and laugh at her. They stand near the podium.)
GABRIELLA: You're a good looking guy.
TROY: And you're a hot chick.
GABRIELLA: Do-
(Unfortunately, GABRIELLA's sentence was.. uhm, not heard. Because of the stupid MC. The light went on both of them and they had to sing.)
TROY: No. I can't sing. You can't make me!
GABRIELLA: Who the heck is touching my butt?
RANDOM: Not me.
GABRIELLA: Don't look at me like that. You're ugly; I'm hot, get over it.
DUDE: (hands them microphones) You guys will be happy together after this. Maybe you'll go to high school together, make out in the hallway, have sex in college, get married and have a dozen kids. And if you do, don't forget to call me and thank me.
TROY: Unless you're dead. And I don't even know her.
GABRIELLA: I don't know him.
DUDE: You guys were flirting with each other! Don't tell me you don't know each other's name!
TROY and GABRIELLA: Uh, no. We don't.
(DUDE sighs and jumps off the podium, leaving TROY and GABRIELLA still standing there. The music starts, and TROY missed his part)
GABRIELLA: You missed your part, you dumb lollipop!
TROY: Lollipop? Who the hell says that?
GABRIELLA: Everybody except retards like you.
TROY: Don't insult me!
DUDE: (yells) WE'RE STARTING THE DAMN SONG OVER! NOW SING IT GOOD OR ELSE WE'LL KICK YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES OUT!
GABRIELLA: Gee. He's feisty.
TROY: He's desperate is what he is.
(The music starts and finally they start singing.
TROY: We're soaring…
GABRIELLA: Wrong song, idiot. That's at the end of the movie.
TROY: No, the song at the end of the movie is "We're All in this Together".
GABRIELLA: Stop using your logic!
DUDE: Why did I even bother auditioning…
(Once more, the music starts and TROY sings the write song and at the right time. While their singing, you can see some bad directing. You see TROY holding the microphone, and you see the microphone and the microphone holder thingy. We're sorry for the inconvenience.)
TROY and GABRIELLA: It's the start of something new.
(GABRIELLA backs up since TROY is coming closer to her. She's thinking 'molester' but then she falls back, and no one caught her.)
GABRIELLA: (gets up and brushes dust off and turns to BOY WHO CATCHES GABRIELLA) Dammit! You were supposed to catch me!
BOY WHO CATCHES GABRIELLA: I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't!
(Well, the song is over.. and yeah.)
TROY: (holds out hand) Troy.
GABRIELLA: (shakes TROY's hand) Gabriella.
DUDE: Are you guys trying to get a one night stand?
(TROY and GABRIELLA look at DUDE strangely.)
TROY and GABRIELLA: What?
DUDE: You didn't say each other's last names, so I'm assuming that you guys are looking for one night stands. That's the most important rule in one night stands!
TROY: I'll remember that.
GABRIELLA: Me, too.
DUDE: Right… (walks away)
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TROY: You sing really nice!
GABRIELLA: (scoffs) Of course I do.
TROY: You sound conceited.
GABRIELLA: That's because I know I'm good.
TROY: Right…
GABRIELLA: Well, I did have this solo once, and I, was, uhm, sick! So I couldn't do it.
TROY: I bet you were stage fright.
GABRIELLA: No I wasn't. That's nonsense. Why would I be scared?
TROY: Well, because….
(silence)
TROY: So, you're hot.
GABRIELLA: Right…
EVERYBODY AROUND TROY and GABRIELLA: 3, 2, 1, HAPPY MARDI GRAS!
TROY: I thought it was Happy New Year…
EVERYBODY AROUND TROY and GABRIELLA: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
GABRIELLA: Were you trying to kiss me?
TROY: Aw, darn. I was close, though, right?
GABRIELLA: Yeah, you were.
(Both start laughing.)
TROY: I'll kiss you next time.
GABRIELLA: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you will. Haha.
TROY: Can I have your phone number?
GABRIELLA: Ooh! Making a move on me! Wow…
TROY: Yeah.. right… I just wanted to call you the next day, but, okay. I mean, who wouldn't want my phone number..
GABRIELLA: I would want your phone number.
TROY: (excited) Great! (notices his excitement) Uhm, yeah. Thanks.
(They both swap phone numbers. GABRIELLA walks away after TROY looked down at his phone)
TROY: (looks at picture of GABRIELLA) Damn, you're so hot. (looks up and sees no one) Darn it! I was talking to myself… Gah…
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Yeah… bye!