Those foolish kids. Look at what they did to his beautiful school!
Principal Kuno surveyed the damage done by Ryouga and Hayate's fight from his office window. It was worse than anything Ranma ever did. All of those martial artist kids act as if they own the place and have no qualms about demolishing it. He still had nightmares about the time where they were fighting that demon girl and they blew the school to bits. He swore if it was the last thing he would do, he was going to teach them a thing or two about humility. He bet if they had to attend school completely bald for a couple of weeks that would bring them down a notch or two. Maybe then, they would be too humbled to destroy anything.
Navigating his way through the tropical paradise that was his office, he sat down at his desk and fingered his favorite pair of hair trimmers and smiled sadistically. Unfortunately, he would have to see to his trouble students later. There was other school business he would have to attend to first. Putting his shears in his desk drawer, he picked up a stack of mail and began thumbing through them.
Most of the letters were the usual junk mail. More companies were trying to get the school to convert to their textbooks. More private contractors were trying to take business away from N-MARC for the constant repairs that had to be made to the school. Of course, these guys would be charging the school directly for their work and the school just didn't have that much in its budget. Besides, N-MARC was probably the only good thing the stupid local government was spending their tax money on and they did good work. There was no way he was going to switch from them to a questionable private company.
Wait a minute...what was this? A post card? From the United States? Now this was interesting. He had made quite a few friends while he was in Hawaii, but he didn't recall giving any of them the address of his school. Who could've gone through so much trouble to send this to him? He looked at the picture on the back and smiled. It had a beautiful view of a garden-like field with the Pacific Ocean in the background. Such fond memories he had of that time. He flipped the card over and read the note that was written.
"Oh no..." he said, his bottom lip trembling. He shoved the rest of his mail aside, put his phone in the center of the desk and pressed the intercom button to speak to his administrative assistant. "Please summon Tatewaki Kuno to my office! It's an emergency!"
"Yes sir," said the voice on the other side.
He sat back in his chair and adjusted the shades that covered his worried eyes. He had no illusions as to what his son's reaction would be when he heard the news. But what about Kodachi? How was she going to react when she found out about this? One thing was certain...in the next week or so, all hell was going to break loose upon the Kuno household...
-o-
Dreamweaver Studios Presents
Ranma½
And the Beat Goes On
"Spring is in the Air"
-o-
In the front of Furinkan high school, Mousse trudged his way homeward wondering what deity he offended to cause him to suffer the way he was. All he intended to do that day was to deliver his challenge to Ranma. He had hoped to duel that day, but it looked as though the school had already endured a fearsome battle, so it was scheduled for the weekend at an alternate location. He would've left right then and there, but Akane, sweet girl she was, offered him some lunch. Since he was so exited that day that he left home without eating, he accepted her offer without hesitation.
What in the world, he wondered, was that concoction she fed him? There was no way in the world that stuff could have really been food. He leaned on what was left of the school's outer fence and tried to take deep breaths. He began to have doubts as to his ability to make it home so he could collapse onto his bed. Fortunately, he was prepared for such situations. He took out the thermos filled with hot water he kept in his robe for Jusenkyo emergencies and poured some of it into the cap. Next, he took out a tea bag Autumn gave him. She said it worked wonders for the stomach and since it was doing cartwheels inside him, he figured now would be the best time to try her remedy.
Dropping the tea bag into the water, he took a huge gulp. Mousse smiled as he could feel the tea working already, turning his sharp pain into a dull ache. Now he understood why Ranma said what he did. You'd need an iron stomach to eat from that iron chef. At least now, he felt strong enough to get home. Hopefully, after a few days rest, he would feel good enough to have his fight with the pigtailed martial artist.
-THOOM!-
Oh brother, it never stops, does it? An explosion from behind the school, huh? As much as his common sense told him to forget about it and just get home to bed, he had to investigate. He had to make sure nothing happened to Ranma before their fight that weekend. When he finally defeated him, he didn't want there to be any excuses. When he got to where the explosion apparently came from, he found a small crowd had gathered blocking the hole. He pushed his way through and found Ranma and Akane standing near the front of the crowd.
"Yo, Mousse," said Ranma. "You're still here?"
"Yeah," responded Mousse. "When I heard the explosion, I had to come back to see what was going on. I was hoping you weren't involved. I want to make sure you're in tip top shape for our fight."
"Speakin' of which, you're not lookin' so hot yourself, man. You okay?"
"I'll be fine. I've already taken something for the poison I ate."
Akane glared at him, "What was that?"
"So, what's happening here?" asked Mousse, quickly changing the subject.
"That's what we're trying to find out," said Ranma.
Inside the nurse's office, the situation was getting tenser by the moment. Ukyou had a deep scowl on her face and was cracking her knuckles, looking to hand out generous portions of pain to anyone who looked at her the wrong way. And, apparently, there were two people in front of her that were looking very wrong. One of them, Ryouga Hibiki, already looking as though he fought a meat grinder and lost, had a confused and nervous expression on his face, glancing back and fourth at her and the second girl who's head was resting all too comfortably on his chest.
"So Ryouga," Ukyou said through her clenched teeth, "when are you going to introduce me to your new friend here?"
"W-well," Ryouga stammered, "she's not a friend...not exactly..."
The girl turned and regarded Ukyou for the first time, "That's right. We're not just friends. I'm his girlfriend. And I'll be much more than that soon!" At the girl's comment, Ukyou's teeth grinded together, sounding like metal scraping against metal.
Ranma leaned in and whispered to Akane, "Well, I guess we know how Ukyou feels about this. Look at how jealous she is."
Akane nodded, "Yeah, but this new girl is going to complicate things. Just who in the world is she anyway?"
Recognizing the second girl immediately, Mousse slapped his forehead and felt as though he was going to throw up again. "I don't believe it...Spring!"
Hearing her name, the ninja girl looked up. "Hey Mousse!"
"You're here just a couple of days and you're causing trouble already?"
Spring pointed at Ukyou, "She's the one that wants trouble. I just want to spend time with my man!" She squeezed Ryouga closer for emphasis, causing him to wince from his injuries.
"YOUR MAN?" roared Ukyou. She turned around and everyone in the crowd took a step back, frightened by the 'I want to mutilate someone NOW' look she had in her eyes. "Mousse, just who the hell is this girl?"
He scratched the back of his head, "Er...her name's Spring. She's Autumn's younger sister."
Ranma blinked, "You mean she's an Amazon too?"
Ryouga's eyes widened, finally understanding what he had inadvertently gotten himself in to. "Erm, Spring, was it? Look, you gotta believe me! What happened before, that WAS a fluke! It didn't really count!"
She shook her head, "Oh no! Don't try to sell yourself as weak now. Like I said, I saw your fight earlier and I know how strong you really are. Now that I have you, I'm not letting you go!"
"So this was the 'hot guy' you were going on about before?" asked Mousse. "Just how in the world did you meet him anyway?"
"I met him in a bath house. Somehow he managed to sneak in on the girl's side."
Ukyou was shocked, "WHAT? YOU PERVERT!"
Akane was shocked as well, "I don't believe it...I always thought Ryouga was one of the good guys. But, he's a pervert too?"
"No, no, no!" Ryouga repeated vehemently. "That's not how it happened! I didn't sneak into the girl's side...not purposely anyway..."
-Flashback-
It was a lovely day in...wherever the world Ryouga was. The air was crisp and damp, as it had just finished raining. If it weren't for his little piggy problem, he would've loved to splash around in the rain to get rid of some of the grit and grime he was covered in. But with things as they were, he wondered in town aimlessly looking for a bathhouse. He would've hated to run into Akane in such a state.
Still, dirty or not, he had to get back to Nerima as quickly as possible. He had no idea why, but he felt that Akane was in danger somehow, something much worse than anything she had been involved in. For him to have had that bad of a premonition, the trouble had to have been supernatural in nature. Of course, it could have all been in his head. But since such things were quite common in that area, he wanted to be close, just to make sure.
He came up to an intersection and stopped, waiting for the light to change. At that moment, a car drove passed, splashing through a puddle as it did so. Ryouga glared at the car as it disappeared into traffic. He cursed his rotten luck; after all he had to do to stay human through the storm itself, he still managed to get changed thanks to that stupid, inconsiderate driver. Shaking his head and having no choice but to abandon his gear, he continued on, hoping to find that bathhouse. He would have to return for his things later.
After a short while of walking, he had to stop to rest for a bit. He must have been walking for days before entering that town and his little legs were getting tired. He looked around to see if he could find something that looked even vaguely familiar. To his surprise, he found he was in a building of some sort. He cursed again. His lack of direction was always worse while in his alternate form, as his human brain found it difficult to relate to his piggish perspective.
"Hey! Look at this!" Ryouga looked behind him with a start at the bubbly feminine voice, finding himself being hoisted up before he could react. He was hoping he hadn't wandered into another women's bathroom in some school or office building.
"Oh, it's so cute!" said another girl.
"Where did you find it?" asked a third.
"I just found it wandering around in here. I think it's somebody's pet," went the first.
"Why would you say that?" the third girl asked.
"Just look at the ribbon wrapped around its neck. It has to be," the first girl said. Ryouga scowled. It was a bandanna, after all, not a ribbon.
"It was probably abandoned," said the second girl. "I didn't notice anyone looking for their pet pig. Besides, look at it. It's filthy." Involuntarily, Ryouga's little stomach growled. "Sounds like it's hungry too."
"You're right," said the first. "Oooh, you poor thing," she said to the pig. "Don't you worry. Since we're here, I'll get you cleaned up first. After that, I'll take you home and get you something to eat." She held him lovingly to her bosom, covered only by a towel.
Towel? Even if he were in a public bathroom, why would she only be dressed in a towel? Ryouga looked at the other girls and noted only towels covered them as well. They walked through a doorway that was shrouded by a curtain and Ryouga noticed the humidity level increased exponentially. Taking in his new surroundings, he found sinks and stools all over, with a large pool at the farthest end of the room. And there were women all over the place...women of various shapes, sizes and ages, either wrapped in a towel or completely naked. He blushed fiercely as realization hit him. He found that bathhouse he was looking for. And right now, he was suck on the wrong side.
The girl that held him sat down on one of the stools, took the spray nozzle and turned on the cold water, showering some of the dirt away from Ryouga's tiny form. As she did so, the other two girls removed their towels, sat down next to them and began scrubbing themselves. The blush intensified to a full on nosebleed and P-Chan passed out.
The second girl looked at it, "Did the pig just pass out when he looked at us?"
The third girl grinned, "Geez, no wonder you can't get a boyfriend. Even little animals faint after seeing that flabby body of yours!"
"Shut up," went the second, sticking her tongue out.
The first girl scrubbed P-Chan's little body clean, but it began to quiver from the constant contact with the water. "There you go, little guy. All clean. Now, we just need to take care of that chill." She looked over to the second girl and handed P-Chan over to her, "I still need to scrub myself off. Take him over to the heated pool with you, please?"
"Sure, no problem," she said. Ryouga's eyes snapped back open. All embarrassment went away as a sense of panic almost literally washed over him. He started to struggle, trying to get away, knowing what a ruckus it would cause once he hit the hot water. Unfortunately, since he was in that tiny form, the girl was far too strong for him. "Geez, what's wrong with this thing? You'd think it was afraid of the water or something."
"Well, that can't be it," said the third girl, who was walking with the second. "After all, it didn't put up that much of a fuss when it was getting washed off."
The second girl shrugged as she stepped into the pool. "Well, it I don't know why you're so panicky all of a sudden, but there's nothing to worry about. Here," She sat down in the water and dipped the pig's body in as well. Suddenly, there was a huge weight gain in the pig and it slipped out of her hands. She gasped, "Oh no!"
"What happened?" went the third girl.
"I dropped the pig!"
"You dropped it?" She looked around the surface of the water and noticed the pig wasn't surfacing. There weren't even any bubbles to give them a clue where it could've gotten. She went in the water too and began to feel around for it. "We have to find it before it drowns!"
Not far away, Ryouga poked his, now human, head out of the water and looked at the girls searching frantically for 'P-Chan'. He could see the worry in their faces and felt bad for having to do this to them. But he couldn't afford to get caught. While they were drawing all of the attention to themselves, he was going to slip out. Hopefully, he would exit the building with no one noticing him. He stood completely out of the water...and ran right into the first girl.
For what seemed like an eternity, they silently locked eyes with each other. She looked him up and down, blushing profusely, especially with the 'down' portion. Immediately, he covered himself as best as he could and begged her, "Don't scream...please don't scream." To which she responded, of course, by screaming.
Everyone in the room turned to look at what the screaming was about. There was a man on the women's side of the bathhouse. He was an extremely rugged, extremely handsome man to be sure, but a man nonetheless. There was only one proper response that was called for in this situation. Every woman gathered picked up the nearest thing that wasn't nailed to the ground and started throwing it at him. Once again, self-preservation overrode modesty/embarrassment as Ryouga covered his head to protect himself against the incoming objects. Not one to be an easy target, he began to run, hoping beyond hope he'd stumble into the exit. Instead, he stumbled into 'her' walking into the bathing area...
Spring stood three inches shorter than he did, with short hair the same color as Akane's, parted on the top and with four points sticking upwards in back. She was clad only in a towel as well, but for some reason, she only wore it around her waist. When she caught sight of Ryouga, she raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down, licking her lips as she did so. A shiver went up Ryouga's spine, feeling the way he did when a predator looked him over while he was in his pig form.
The girl shook her head and looked at him again with a more serious expression on her face. "Normally, I wouldn't mind having such a cute guy walking in on me while I'm taking a bath," she said. "But you have no business being in the women's side of a public bath!" She got into a fighting stance. "I'm kicking you out of here! Literally!"
"No! Wait!" went Ryouga, trying to beg off, but the new girl wouldn't have any of it. She attacked him with straight slashing strikes, using her hands like knives. Still being in panic mode, Ryouga could only manage to dodge her blows, backing away from her. Fortunately for him, all of the other women in the area had stopped throwing stuff at him and were just passively watching now.
For her part, Spring couldn't help but be impressed by this guy and not just because of his...physical attributes. He was expertly dodging all of her attacks like she was a rank amateur. Clearly, he wasn't just some ordinary guy. That just meant she would have to kick things up a notch. She reared herself back and shot herself forward so fast, she became a blur to the untrained eyes of the audience. Ryouga could still track her movements, but he was caught off guard by her amazing speed, leaving him open to a full forced open palm strike to his chest that knocked him back into the rear wall next to the huge tub.
Ryouga rubbed the spot where she hit him, "Ow...that really stung!"
"KIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ryouga looked up and found her in mid air, launching a flying kick meant to put his head through the wall. With no other direction to go, Ryouga did the only thing he could do...duck. Spring's eyes went wide, seeing nothing between her and the wall. "Uh oh..."
-WHAM!-
As Spring, now planted face first into the wall, slowly slid down to ground level, Ryouga ran out the exit as fast as he could.
-End Flashback-
"...And that's what happened, honest!" said Ryouga, carefully editing out the part where he turned into a pig, of course.
Spring smiled and nuzzled his chest again, "Yep, that's exactly how it happened. He beat me fair and square and now, we're going to be married!"
"NO!" went Ryouga, trying to push her off. "I'm telling you, it was an accident!" He looked to the crowd for help.
"Hey, don't look at me," Ranma said. "My whole thing with Shampoo started with an accident." Mousse shrugged, unable to say anything of real value either.
Spring wrapped her arms around Ryouga's neck, smiled at him and said, "You can't get out of this, honey. I have three thousand years of Amazon tradition on my side." She ran a finger down the contour of his jaw. "There's no need to be shy or afraid. Trust me, you're going to love it!" She closed her eyes and slowly moved in to kiss him again.
Ukyou growled and turned to Akane, "Hey, I don't have my spatula with me. Mind if I borrow a mallet?"
Akane wanted to protest, but she couldn't come up with anything. Truth be told, she'd do the same thing in her position. With a shrug, she reached into wherever it was she kept her mallets and pulled out a particularly nasty one.
The chef took the blunt instrument in hand and smiled at the mass. She'd have to figure out how the Tendo girls did that. With a sinister smile, she turned her attention back to her employee and his new bride-to-be. Ryouga looked back and forth between the girl that had him in the loving death grip and the other girl who apparently wished that death upon him. He just closed his eyes and turned his head, waiting for the inevitable, whatever it was.
-WHAM!-
That was it? Strange. He didn't even feel a thing. No, that wasn't true; in actuality, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Cautiously, he opened one eye and chanced a peek to see what happened. He found Spring sprawled out on the floor in front of him with a giant lump on her head. In front of him, Ukyou had the mallet leaning over her shoulder and a satisfied smirk on her face. He wiped the sweat off his brow. "Whew, for a moment, I thought you were going to hit me."
She looked at him, "Oh, don't worry sugar. I got one for you too."
-WHAM!-
With the two of them laid out, Ukyou handed the mallet back to Akane. "Thanks. I feel much better now," she said sweetly.
"Erm...sure," went Akane, putting the mallet back.
Looking at the situation in front of him, Ranma couldn't help but smile, "Wow, it's almost like watching my life play out in front of me. Only I'm not the me in the middle of it!"
Mousse looked at him, "That made absolutely no sense whatsoever."
With a sigh, Akane lamented, "I still can't believe it...she wouldn't mind having a guy walk in on her...what, is this town a magnet for perverts or something?"
"Aw, come off it. You got no room to be callin' anyone a pervert anymore," said Ranma. "I mean, what about all those times you grabbed me and-"
Akane clasped her hand over Ranma's mouth. "Shut up about that, would you?" she whispered, blushing furiously. She looked at everyone else, "Don't mind him, he's just being an idiot again."
"Hurmph Hummmph!" went Ranma indignantly, his mouth still covered.
Groggily, Spring woke up and stood back on her shaky legs. With a hand on her throbbing head, she shot Ukyou a mean glare. Ukyou returned the glare with her smirk. "Awake already, huh? I guess you want some more!" The ninja girl gingerly glided over to the okonomiyaki chef, tilted the girl's head slightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Ukyou froze in a state of shock, while the others gathered gasped. With a rather evil smile, Spring disappeared in a blur.
"She...she..." Ukyou put her hand to her cheek. "SHE KISSED ME! BLECH! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" She took a handkerchief and started scrubbing her face furiously. "I KNEW SHE WAS A PERVERT, BUT C'MON!"
"That was the kiss of death," informed Mousse. "It doesn't matter what tribe they come from, Amazon women are quite proud. They feel they're supposed to be the best warrior women anywhere. That Spring was knocked out at your hands was a serious stain on her pride. She gave you the kiss of death as a promise to track you to the ends of the earth and kill you."
"Oh, is that all?" went Ukyou with a sigh of relief. "Now that I can handle. She won't have to go that far. I'll be right here and I'll be more than happy to hand out as many ass whippings as she's willing to take!" She scratched her head, "That's funny, though. With all the times I kicked Shampoo's butt, I'm surprised she hasn't done that to me too..."
---oo---
"AH-CHOO!" Shampoo stopped washing the dishes she was doing to scratch her nose. She wondered idly who was talking about her. And why did she have that sudden urge to find the 'spatula girl' and punch her good?
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