Disclaimer: Not mine, not even on my freakin' birthday! First the not sharing and then no show today… pouting! Stomping feet… oh, well… I'm still digging that tunnel between our sandboxes... (evil smile)

NOTE#1: This is my birthday gift to you all! I have loved all the support for I am Sam… so I was watching 'The Man who would be King' and this is what came of it… still working on Who am I now? I must confess I was having my first writer's block, but I brainstormed with my son and bam! We have a direction that I'm now off on! Chessi, this is for my new founded friend! I thinks she is like you... can you see it? Well, I can... (it's a compliment, love) hopefully it will make the wait less painful... smiles! Love to all my FFF! U know who u r!

Your answer…

As Cas sat on the stone bench he begged for a response to his question, Was he on the right path?

He was so trapped in his own thoughts that he didn't notice the angel that had appeared before him as she stared silently at him a few seconds before she spoke.

"Castiel…" She waited for him to look up, he startled as he stared up at her in surprise. "Don't you get it?" She smiled sadly at him before she asked, "Don't you understand?" She asked him softly as she continued to study him.

Cas shook his head because he didn't understand.

"Chessi." He whispered as he reached a hand out toward her; his old and dear friend he had not seen since the whole thing had started with the boys.

"Dean…" She said and then repeated, "Dean was your answer." She sighed as she watched him before continuing, "God told you the path you should take… He gave you the Winchesters and Bobby and you threw that answer away." She gave him such a look of sadness when she asked, "Why couldn't you see it?"

When he said nothing she shook her head as she said, "So now they are out there with no one… and still… still they try to do the right thing." She touched his hand and then stepped back as she told him with a hint of despair, "I don't understand what has happened to the angel that is our Castiel…" She paced a couple of times before standing before him once more to say bluntly, "You do understand what Crowley has planned for those three?"

"He is not to touch them, he knows better!" Cas growled in his low tone even as he shook his head in denial.

"Does he? Does he really?" She shook her head again at his stupidity, "You do remember there is more than one way to defeat the enemy?" At Cas' blank look she replied, "No… ok then… picture this… he is not to touch the Winchesters or Bobby? Correct?"

"Correct." Cas stated as he watched her.

"So what is the best way to destroy Dean? What is his weakness?" She asked as she waited for his answer.

"Family." Cas answered immediately; he knew this, always had.

"Yes family." Chessi agreed. "Crowley already crushed your relationship with them…" She told him, "And you allowed it leaving them a whole lot more helpless without you having their backs and strange…" She stopped and stared a few seconds before she added, "it leaves you in the same position once you outlive your usefulness to Crowley. Anyway, my point is Dean's weakness…" She looked intently at him before she added, "Come on Cas... he told you when he begged you to save yourself." She stared at him and then added, "He swore to help you and it still wasn't enough…"

"Sam, Bobby and me…" Cas finally said quietly.

"The thing is after knowing it was you that brought Sam back and didn't tell him, he was still ready to forgive you… you flew away. Yes… the taking down of Sam's wall…"

"He can't do that." Cas butted in to say.

"Um… Let's see… maybe possess his old girlfriend, have him have to kill her to save her boy? What will that do to your friend? What if he can't save either one of them and then he comes back to find his brother in shambles…" She proceeded with her bleak scenario, her sadness bleeding into her voice as she went on,"How could he live with loosing everything? Sam, you, his girl, his boy and then what do you think that would do to the man that only lived for them?And where would that leave the old man who lives for his boys?" She took a deep breath as she released the killing blow, "So the saviors of the world get their just rewards… is that the way you see it Cas?" She finished harshly.

"He wouldn't dare!" Cas snarled.

"Wouldn't he? It is happening as we speak. So tell me Cas what is winning really worth? Why don't you ask God to step in… have you asked and really just gave it to him to fix?" Chessi asked curiously.

"I…" Cas began

"No you have not… not really." She said sadly and before he could blink she was behind him with an arm across his chest and the angel killing knife now against his chest.

"What are you waiting for Chessi?" Cas asked wearily, like he almost wanted it to end.

"Your answer." Chessi persisted.

"My answer?" Cas repeated softly sounding confused.

"Cas…" Her tone suddenly bordered on a warning.

"I want to help the Winchesters and beg their forgiveness…" Cas finally whispered.

"But?" She edged him forward with his answer.

"I've really messed up." Cas barely whispered.

"Cas. The things that Dean already forgave you for…." Chessi shook her head as she asked, "Don't you see?" She asked before she continued, "This is a travesty… if you let this go on… you are no better than Rafael or Lucifer."

"I give it to God… I can't fix this… I've tried so hard." He mumbled as broke down and cried, "I want to be me again…" He bowed his head and sobbed as if his heart was breaking.

She smiled as she removed the knife and placed her hand on his shoulder.

He looked up in surprise as he felt another hand on his head and was even more startled to find Chuck smiling down at him.

"Chuck?" Cas asked in wonder.

"Cas you are on your way to redeeming yourself… Now go save your family." Chuck said gently.

There was a flash of light and Cas blinked in surprise to find he was standing behind Balthazar and staring at Dean… He had no idea what was happening or what was coming.

The End