Burke stood silently over his wife, his hand resting at the small of her back as he peeked over her shoulders at the tiny life in her arms and something stirred inside of him. He brushed his lips over her forehead softly and pulled her just a little closer.
"What was that for?" She asked suspiciously.
"Do I need a reason to kiss my wife?"
Meredith gave a light chuckle at the two of them, "I know that look anywhere, Cristina. You can't tell me that you don't see the little wheels turning in his head."
Cristina pulled away from Burke and moved back to Meredith's side, depositing the newborn in her arms and sat on the edge of the hospital bed that she occupied, "Oh no. We've come to an understanding on that years ago. The understanding that I would screw up anything that could possibly come out of my uterus and that we wouldn't take those chances. Right, baby?"
Burke cleared his throat, putting his hands nervously in his pockets. There was so much he wanted to say right now after seeing his best friend who had been married a full two years less than he had already have a family, "I'm going to go find Shepherd." He finally spoke, not wanting to give her confirmation to use against him later.
When he left the room, Meredith shook her head, "How is it that you're so damn smart, yet so oblivious?"
"What? He doesn't want kids. I don't want kids. We've been married for four-going-on-five years. Do you honestly think that If he wanted kids that we'd still be together?" Cristina muttered, making a face as the baby started to cry. She looked on silently in awe and disgust all at the same time as Meredith cooed at the baby and tried to calm it.
Something in her ached as well. If her best friend had a kid, where the hell did that leave her. She wouldn't mind spending a lot more time with Burke, but Meredith being a mommy meant no more drinking at Joe's on Friday night (which had actually been traded for a movie night for the past 9 months), no more being able to come over at three am in the morning when she had an issue she couldn't figure out. No more Meredith.
Cristina couldn't comprehend why people even wanted children. They were and ending to a life. Too much responsibility, too much heartbreak and way too much chance involved. Even if you raised them to be the perfect specimens, they had a mind of their own and it wasn't worth the risk to her.
Nor was it worth the price.
After Meredith quieted her daughter, she looked back up to her friend, "Cristina. You can see it in his eyes, he wants so badly to have a family. Why don't you at least talk to him about it?"
She swallowed down Meredith's words, them forming a lump in her throat, "If I were to talk to Burke about it, it would somehow signify that I'm willing to come to a compromise on this and I am not. There are no kids in our future. And you're not going to make me a part of the mommy club, so quit trying."
"I'm not trying to make you a part of the mommy club. I'm trying to make you a part of the good wife club." Meredith shot back.
"Oh, does that involve sleeping with an ex during the first year of your marriage, because I'm afraid I missed that initiation."
"Bitch."
"Nice language to use around your kid. Really classy." Cristina grinned and stood from the bed, "I'm going to go find my husband, peel him from yours and take him home and have sex with him. Glorious protected sex that will not result in one of those." She pointed to the baby in semi-mocked disgust.
"I'm never having sex again, so taunt me all you want." Meredith shrugged happily, "And you can't leave. You were supposed to help me think up a better name for her than Melissa."
"Isn't Melissa what McDreamy wants?" Cristina walked across the room and gathered her coat and bag in her arms.
"Yeah, but it's so plain."
Cristina smirked as she propped herself in the door way, "Name her Addison."
"You're not helping me."
"Too bad she's not a boy. You could name her Finn." Cristina pressed.
"Oh, go find your husband." Meredith finally sighed, turning her attention once again to her newborn daughter with a smile on her face, "Being a mom isn't so bad, Cristina. Whenever you look down into their pretty little eyes and they put the little cap or whatever on their tiny little head…and you get to dress them and teach them everything there is to know about the world. It's kind of exciting."
Cristina chuckled lightly, "Are you looking into her 'pretty little' closed eyes? Good luck with that. I'm still not interested."
She walked away without another word to Meredith to find Burke to assess the damage that McDreamy had set it during this whole pregnancy and now with the delivery. She was going to do her best to avoid the subject once they got home and make him think of other things.
Silently she hoped that sex wasn't destroyed by all of this nonsense either.
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"How did you talk her into it?" Burke asked quietly, leaning against the cold metal pole of the skywalk's guides. "How did you talk Meredith into wanting a family?"
Derek studied his friend with exaggerated pity, "Do you honestly think the same technique I used on Meredith would even begin to work on Cristina? Your wife is much more stubborn and strong willed than mine. Much more."
Burke shook his head and let out a sigh, "That she is."
Studying his friend closely, Derek thought long and hard what it would be like to see a man like Burke not have children, and how much it must kill him inside. He knew that Burke wanted a family, he knew that he'd wanted a family for a long time. He also knew that Burke was much too patient with Cristina. Or at least he thought so. "Tell her how long you've wanted this, Burke. You two have never been the couple to hold back from a fight."
A smirk formed across his lips, "That's for sure."
"I'm serious, though. Talk to her. You've been wanting kids forever, and I know that you were just trying to let her finish her residency, and now you're just trying to let her get settled into her fellowship, but you two aren't going to be young forever. And you certainly can't have children when you're 90."
Cristina approached the two of them cautiously, selectively listening to anything but them. If she didn't hear Burke talk about wanting a baby, she wouldn't have to address the issue. Coming to his side, she slid her hand softly up his arm, "Hey, McDreamy. Your wife wants you. Y'know. The one that just pushed the baby out of her vagina."
"Cristina." Burke chided her lightly, his arm snaking around her shoulders, his mind racing with a million things that he wanted to say, and the question weighing heavily on his heart if he should say those things.
Derek shook his head and left the two of them and headed back towards Meredith's room, pausing to look at the two of them for a moment before pulling open the door. They were happy together, but there was so much missing in the picture at the same time.
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The ride home was silent except for wandering soft touches and whispered plans for their arrival at the apartment. At least for a few minutes, the thought of a baby had been dropped from both of their minds in lieu of much more entertaining and pleasing pastimes.
After painfully teasing each other up the sidewalk and stairwell towards their apartment, Burke pressed her against the door of their home, kissing her deeply as he slid the key into the door and pushed it open.
She pressed her lips against his harder as she felt him struggle with the door and she couldn't help but smile as he finally got it shut and pressed her to the back of the door, "Problems?"
"Deja vu." He grinned as he bent to trail his lips over the soft skin of her neck and shoulder.
Cristina grinned against the hot skin of Burke's neck as he pressed her against the inside of their apartment door, kissing hungrily at her neck as his adept fingers unbuttoned the small buttons down the front of her shirt and she ran her fingers lightly over the back of his neck, "Burke.." She mumbled quietly, "Don't you think we should at least make it to the bedroom."
He laughed as he lifted her against the door, pressing his hips against hers, "We'll get there. Eventually." He assured her as his lips pressed against hers once more.
"We only have all night." She uttered in agreement as she felt his hand slide down to cup her bottom in his hands.
In the years that they had been married one thing that had only gotten better for them was the sex and they always left work, one craving the other. They'd turned it into a game while they were at work, always maintaining a professional distance and reserving their 'bedroom olympics' as Cristina fondly called it, for home.
The game at work however, was a completely different story. Sometimes it would be innocent glances over surgical masks in the OR. Sometimes it was Cristina sending suggestive text pages to Burke's pager, quickly followed by a suggestive sticky note taped inside her drawer in the fellow's office.
Sometimes Cristina was bold enough to walk past him in the hallway or in the nurse's station and lightly brush her hand against him, her body shielding her action from anybody's view before moving on without so much as a single glimpse back.
Indeed, marriage had only brought more joy to both of their lives in many different aspects and Cristina never regretted her decision of saying 'I do' whenever her mother and his mother tricked her into that god awful white dress and mosquito net ceremony.
As the two of them collapsed on the bed exhausted, Burke pulled Cristina into his arms, kissing her shoulder softly. He cherished the way that she fit so perfectly against him, how every curve of her body seemed to complement his and they just fit together. Two parts made whole.
In the same instant, there was something missing. He used to feel 100 complete with Cristina in his arms, but as their marriage flourished, he began to want more, and for two years he'd been battling this feeling of 'something's missing'.
He felt they were incomplete.
Burke brushed his lips softly over her shoulder, then up her neck, then finally to her ear and he closed his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't get the reaction he was expecting. In a voice no more than a hoarse whisper, he finally forced the words out that had been playing on his mind for years. "I want a baby, Cristina."