Boys

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

Summary: Mikan notices her lack of experience with the male species and decides to take matters into her own hands. However, she notices that boys tend to stay away from her why is that? Could a certain red eyed fire caster be the problem or the solution?

Edited: 03/09/11

I've reedited and rewritten some of the chapters. I had lost my outline of the story and had forgotten where I was going with it. So I've rewritten a little bit of Mikan's character and her reasoning for finally taking an interest in boys. Someone had pointed out that Mikan was a little too dense about matters of the heart so I changed it. I think the reasoning this time are a little more realistic. I figured that by this time she'd have grown enough to recognize some of her feelings.

Chapter One

Sitting down with a plop and a sigh everyone immediately noticed her gloomy mood. It was unusual to find Mikan in such low spirits especially during lunch time.

"What's wrong Mikan?" Anna asked.

"Nothing just…" she paused. "It's nothing" she sighed again.

Curious now the group turned their attentions towards her. It wasn't like her to hide what she was feeling or thinking. Usually if she was upset or sad, with little prompting it was easy to find the source. Mikan wasn't one to hide her feelings because telling her friends usually made her feel better.

"No really Mikan what's wrong?" Anna persisted.

Looking towards her friends she glanced at Ruka and asked him a question rather than directly answering Anna's.

"Ruka am I ugly?"

Instantly turning red Ruka stuttered "Oof course not Mikan. You're very pretty."

"Am I fat or is my butt too big?" she continued questioning him.

By this point everyone was looking at her weirdly. Why would Mikan ask all these questions? Usually she wasn't one to worry about her looks.

"Mikan what has gotten into you? You are definitely not fat" Nonoko answered for Ruka. "Actually I wished I had your body." She admitted.

Most of the other girls gathered around the table agreed with this statement. During the last seven years in Alice Academy Mikan had grown into an attractive teenager. She still had big, innocent chocolate colored eyes and long wavy honey colored hair but being great in sports and usually very active her figure continued to be fit and lean. She grew a little taller but stayed petite and she eventually grew curves that many envied, which stopped people's teasing about her flat chest. Eventually through Yuu's and several other people's help- including Hotaru when she had the money, she pulled her one star ranking into a three star. Now she wasn't as much of an idiot as her younger self but was still very naïve and innocent about matters of the heart or a.k.a boys. Even now she was still oblivious to the many admiring glances that were thrown at her and the constant glares one particular boy seemed to be sporting all the time.

"Than what is it? Is it my hair? Do I stink? Is it because I still wear childish underwear? My teeth? Clothes? feet?"

She kept on listing and naming possible reasons to her dilemma.

"What?" everyone asked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Boys!" she exclaimed like it was the most obvious answer. "I want to know why boys don't like me. Every time I think a boy is interested they eventually seem to loose interest. And any boy I'm interested in won't have me! Do you know how humiliating that is?" She groaned frustrated. "Some are even afraid to approach me. One of the guys I asked out practically ran away from me and told me to stay away from him. Is there a rumor spreading around that I've contracted some sort of disease?"

Everyone stayed silent. They were surprised. They had seen Mikan approach other guys recently but didn't realize what the reason were. They weren't surprised by the fact that she was starting to get interested in guys, but more for the fact that she hadn't informed anyone of her decision to date.

It was well known in the Academy that Natsume had an unspoken claim on their resident nullifier. There were some brave souls who tried to tempt fate, but most were half-hearted attempts to win her over. For most recognized the futility of it because of Mikan's naivety and to avoid Natsume's ire. But if Mikan was now actively searching for suitors things might be changing.

"What?" Natsume glowered "You asked a boy out," emphasizing the word as if it was a disgusting poisonous insect. "When, where and who?" he demanded.

Frustrated Mikan ignored him.

"That doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm seventeen and I have never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy. It seems like no boy wants anything to do with me besides you guys."

She pointed out to Koko, Kitsume, Ruka, Yuu, Mochu and Natsume. They had all been together since that faithful day when they were all ten. They were the only ones Natsume ever let near Mikan, mostly because he knew that they viewed her as a friend, and because their interests laid elsewhere.

"What is wrong with me that no one wants to even date me?" she asked frustrated.

"Nothings wrong with you Mikan." Anna assured her.

"Yeah" Sumire agreed. "It's not your fault. Boys are just cowards."

"Why what's wrong with them? Are they scared of me?"

"Well not you specifically but someone associated with you." She said slyly glancing at the glaring Natsume, who was by now grinding his teeth and making a fist after hearing Mikan's confession. But fortunately or unfortunately Mikan didn't catch on.

"Why the sudden interest in boys idiot?" Hotaru asked emotionlessly.

"Because, because I want to find love." She said softly, "Like my mom was with my dad. Uncle Kazu recently gave me mother's journals and I read how happy she was. How just being in his presence soothed her and made her warm inside. How a touch made her tingle and a kiss feel light." She sounded so wistful. "She described how he cherished her and did what he could for her. I want someone to love me as much as dad obviously loved her."

It didn't escape their notice that she was absentmindedly looking at Natsume, who looked almost sick at her descriptions. The thought of anyone else possibly kissing or even touching her like he'd wanted for so long made him sick. But what got him so upset was the thought that he could do nothing but watch all of it happen. He knew he could never be that guy for her. He wasn't one for public displays of affection, or someone that people felt comfortable with. More then likely they were intimidated. He also couldn't imagine someone like Mikan putting up with his constant disparaging remarks. Besides, it was safer for her not to be so close to him.

As for others, if they had known that having her read some romantic sap like that would get her to want and think romantic thoughts, they would have done it ages ago. They had tried giving subtle hints before about Natsume's feelings but soon gave up after some frustrating misunderstandings.

"Love eh?" Sumire smirked. "I don't think you will have to look too far for that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I know someone that's interested in you and has been for sometime. You've just been too stupid to realize it."

"What? Who? Who is it? Do I know him?"

She questioned eyes going wide. Was there someone really like that out there? How could she have not noticed? She couldn't recall anyone ever treating her in the way that her father treated her mother.

From her mother's journal she gathered that her father was very affectionate but only in private. He was thoughtful and always caring for her mother and helping her. He was also protective and sweet. He would occasionally give symbols of affection- like flowers, chocolates and even some badly written poetry; which she had read and laughed at silently. However, it didn't really matter to her mother how lousy her father was at it, it was the thought that counted.

Could there really be someone out there like that? She didn't think so. She would have recognized those signs if she had seen it. No one did those things for her.

Thoughtfully looking at Natsume she softly wished that he would show her some sign, anything really that showed he liked her more then a friend. She had realized while reading the journal that she had craved that closeness and affection from him. She was comfortable with him and had always been even when they were fighting. She knew that he would never physically hurt her. Emotionally yes. There were still times that he could be a jerk and sometimes it hurt but she never let it show; she still had some pride after all. But what she realized soon after her epiphany was that there was no way that Natsume could ever return her feelings. Someone like him deserved someone equal to his intelligence, strength and kindness because she knew deep down that he was one of the most selfless and kindhearted person, regardless of what Persona had trained him to be.

So in typical Mikan fashion she pushed it to the back of her head and decided to tackle her current issue full on. She wanted to experience love didn't she? So then she'd do the first thing you were supposed to do- which was to date. She was tempted to ask Sumire about how she got together with Kokoro but refrained. She didn't want to deal with the teasing and the questions so soon. She figured she could just surprise them by asking them on a double date. However, what she didn't expect was some resistance. She hadn't realized how hard it was to get a date.

The day had started out pleasantly enough. She had approached a decently good looking boy who she knew was a nice guy and had asked him out. Unfortunately as soon as the words came out of her mouth the boy had seemed to pale. He had glanced around frantically and quickly uttered a reply of thanks but no thanks and ran for his life. Confused and utterly disappointed as well as a little hurt at the display of what she thought of that time as disgust she had became depressed. This reaction had repeated in varying degrees, each ending in her silent humiliation and despair. Surely she wasn't so unappealing that guys had to sprint away from her as if the dogs of hell were at their backs. Slightly skeptical but still intrigued she waited for Sumire's reply. However, just as Sumire had opened her mouth to answer her question, the familiar smell of burning hair reached her nostrils. Quickly trying to find the source; and secretly thankful that it wasn't her own; she traced the source to Sumire who suddenly started to run around the room in a panic. Quickly nullifying it she caste a glare at the only fire wielding alice in the room. However, just as she was about to reprimand him he silently stood up and muttered a 'tch' and walked away. Angry at his interruption and his blatantly rude behavior she called after his back.

"Natsume come back here! Apologize to Permy NOW you bastard she didn't even do anything to you. You can't just set people's hair on fire for no reason." Huffing in irritation she watched as he paused before turning around to glare at her.

"Hn, watch me polka." He replied before snapping his fingers but than growled at the results.

"Tch, you should know better baka I'm a three star now, my whole body is nullified to any alice attack especially yours."

With another "Hn" he turned around and walked away, Ruka not far behind him.

Huffing in annoyance she turned to her friends to complain about his behavior and to check on Permy. But the expressions on their faces weren't one of annoyance and anger but of exasperation. Confused she let the issue of Natsume's behavior drop and turned towards Permy to get the information about her secret admirer.

"So who is it who is it?" She asked excitedly.

Smiling slightly Permy shook her head.

"Sorry Mikan I'm sworn to secrecy."

"What! But Permy you were about to tell me before stupid Natsume distracted you." She pouted. "Please, please, please I promise I won't say anything to him it'll drive me crazy not knowing who it is." She complained.

"Sorry Mikan." She intoned apologetically.

Huffing in irritation she mumbled "Stupid pyromaniac." Before turning around and walking out of the lunch room. "Fine if you won't tell me I'll find out myself."

With false bravado she walked confidently out of the cafeteria. But the further she got from her friends the more agitated she felt. She didn't know how she could possibly find out. Especially if they've successfully hidden their feelings for her for who knows how long. Unconsciously her feet took her to the one place that had always brought her comfort, their Sakura tree. It didn't even escape her notice that she had referred to it as theirs. In her mind it had and always would be theirs.

Not surprised to see Natsume already lounging under it, she headed over there and sat beside him quietly. The rest of the day was spent in a semi quiet fashion with the occasional comment from Mikan about this and that and the occasional grunts and hn's from Natsume. She forgot about her search for her secret admirer and didn't question why whenever she was upset, hurt, or feeling lonely she somehow always ended up beside this black haired, red eyed boy. So for the rest of the afternoon she simply basked in the afternoon sun and the quiet company of her constant companion.