That moment you open your eyes and stare at the most mesmerizing thing your short, useless, sad life has had the chance to see. You feel alive again almost as if the entire world and time stopped just to grant you this little moment, this little thing just for you, for the first time in your life you feel special. You feel free from all that shit that is eating your soul day after day, you are far away from the harmful shit you do to yourself, away from those fucking needles and those fucking trips that promise everything will be alright, but nothing gets alright, everyday you just wake up cold and lonely and just wishing to die.
But right now this moment is yours and finally after so much time you can breathe. Something in the back of your mind tells you to smile, you don't even remember how to smile for real no more, it doesn't matter you can feel your lips start to twitch and the corners of your mouth start to curl, before you know it a whole fetched grin appears on your face and you just want to laugh, hard, it's been a long time since you felt anything like this, for a long time you feel happy, and suddenly this messed up world seems even messier than before but you don't care cause you are happy again, you want to live again.
That was the first time you saw her, you don't know her name or anything about her, but she is young, even younger than your 25 year old body, which seems much more older and it feels so too. It is fucking freezing outside, it doesn't matter, you only have eyes for her. She and her dark eyes, so black you can barely see the pupil, so dark you can see yourself drowning in them and not coming back, her small face framed by her weird but silky black hair, you wish you could caress it with the tip of your fingers. You only have eyes for her small mouth and her pink lips and you can see her breathing coming out in this fucking cold. You only have eyes for her straight little nose and those perfectly shaped eyebrows, those you find funny, her eyebrows are big and full and you feel yourself smiling even more because she looks perfect.
It is only you and her right now, not the bitch you are fucking right now in that dirty alleyway, not the broken lamp that flicks light once every 3 seconds, not the freezing cold that even makes your bones shake, not those stupid dogs you can hear barking at you.
This moment you see her, and only her, you can feel yourself about to climax wishing for something, you can almost smell her, and then just a soft breeze of lilies graces your nose, until you finally let go. You don't care about this nameless girl you just fucked, she's just like you. You only have eyes for her.
She stares at you, a light pink dusting her cheeks, her pale skin glowing with the moonlight, beautiful. You can help it but feel warm, your chest tightens your throat closes a little bit, this warm you feel what is it? The drugs? Why does your heart hurts, you feel water in you cheeks but why , if it isn't raining. And she is still watching you, with those endless orbs in which you can see yourself drowning . That's the last thing you see before passing out, wasn't it freezing, then, why does it feel so warm?