-1Disclaimer: I don't own C.S.I. I wish I did but I'm not that rich. So please don't think about suing me.

Summary: Ummm… Basically Grissom has this secret that he needs to tell Sara, but he's afraid of how she'll react so he doesn't tell her until he knows he'll lose her.

A/N: Anything in italics is a thought. I don't feel like writing "he thought."

A/N: This is my first story so tell me what you think. Good and bad.

How do I tell her?

Grissom sat at his desk working on paper work, or at least that's what he told himself. He just couldn't keep his mind off it. How am I going to tell her? She'll hate me. There is no doubt about it, she'll hate my guts. After all these years that I've known her I never told her. I never told anyone. Only Catherine knows, but she was there.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see Sara standing in the doorway. Now I have to tell her now.

"Hi. Can I come in?" her gently voice called from the door.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," he replied a little nervously, closing the file he was working on.

"Nick and I finished our case, so I'm heading home," she replied, walking in and shutting the door. She walked to one of the chairs in front of his desk and sat down in it.

Tell her! Tell her now! "Okay," he took off his glassed and rubbed his forehead, mentally kicking himself.

"You okay, Gris? I mean you seem a bit distracted."

"Yeah I'm fine. I'll meet you?" No I'm not okay! I need to tell her.

"Yeah okay. I guess I'll see you in a bit," Sara got up and headed to the door, she stopped halfway there and turned around, she looked as if she was going to say something but she turned around and walked out the door into the hallway and then to her car and drove away.

Grissom watched her leave. When she was gone he hit himself, "God so stupid!"

"Everything okay Gris?" Nick asked as he walked past his office, pausing to stick his head in.

"Yeah I'm fine," he started packing up. Nick watched him for a few more seconds, shaking his head he walked away deciding not to pry.

Grissom opened the door and entered the small apartment. The apartment was quiet. He walked towards the bedroom door, it was opened and her small figure was lying in the bed. He moved into the room, slowly removing his clothes. He climbed into the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She turned around and got closer to him. "You're late," she whispered.

"Sorry, Warrick caught me before I left and he needed my help on his case," he lied. I took a drive to clear my head.

"Gil? What's wrong?" she could see something was on his mind and he wasn't telling her.

"Nothing, honey, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, everything is fine," he replied pulling her closer and closing his eyes.

TBC