There was no hope for change. I'd already pushed Peeta away. That day on the train coming back from the arena when I told him it was all for the games, I knew that things could never be the same. And they never were the same again. When it was time for the Victory Tour, the romance had to start up again. It strained us even more. We couldn't even be friends. It was too painful.

Every once and a while, Peeta and I would have to show up in the Capitol for nonsense celebrations. Whenever forced into a room with him, I could never look into his eyes, knowing the amount of pain I had caused him.

It's been five years since our Hunger Games. In the couple of years that followed, District 12 racked up two more victors. One boy named Chris and one girl named Helga. Helga won in the 76th games and she took over my role as a mentor. Chris won the following year, taking over for Peeta.

After he and I no longer had to put on a show and be a couple as mentors, Peeta moved out of the Victor's Village. I haven't seen him since. Haymitch tells me that he works for his parents in the bakery downtown. At least he's doing something that he enjoys.

My mother and Prim moved away after the 77th Hunger Games to District 8 to work in a hospital there. I visit them sometimes, but it never feels right. Gale comes back to the District sometimes to say hi. He lives in District 3 now with Madge. They got married three years ago. They have a beautiful daughter and another child on the way. Haymitch still lives in his house a few doors down, alone of course. Well, he lives with his booze. He doesn't visit much because he's usually too drunk to even remember his own name.

My day usually consists of hunting and checking the snare lines. I don't go into town and browse around in the shops. Some days, I feel so low and can't even get out of bed. I just lay there, not even getting up to eat.

This year is the 79th Hunger Games and my attendance is mandatory for some reason unknown to me. I can't say that I'm excited to go, but it will be nice to have something to do. The Capitol and all of Panem know that Peeta and I aren't together anymore. The got the hint when he and I weren't so subtly arguing at the 76th Games. President Snow has backed off a little and has accepted the fact that things can't always work out his way.

Haymitch and I are alone on the train to the Capitol for the Games. I guess Peeta isn't going. This thought makes the trip to the Capitol a little easier. Having Peeta around would just be awful. He'd probably give me the cold shoulder or make snarky remarks at everything that I say, just like in the 76th games. Haymitch drowns himself in his liquor the entire trip. I simply stare out the window and watch the Districts pass by.

Early the next day we arrive in the Capitol. There's a crowd of people calling out my name, but I have no desire to even look their way. I don't want to be here or even alone up in my room in the Training Center that I used as a mentor a few years ago. I want to be back in District 12 in the woods. It's the only place that I feel at home. Haymitch and I ride the elevator up to the floor for District 12 together. It's silent. Not even elevator music plays. The elevator slows and the doors open, revealing a floor so neat and clean.

An Avox boy leads me to my room which, as I predicted is the same as I've had in the past. I thank him and he leaves me as I'm opening the door to my room. As I turn the door handle, I hear footsteps behind me. I suspect it's Haymitch.

"What time do we have to be down for the dinner?" I ask.

"Uhm, I'm not quite sure. I think 6:30."

I freeze where I am. That voice is all too familiar, but it's not Haymitch's. I turn and what I see leaves me speechless. Standing across the hallway from me is Peeta Mellark.

I try to speak, but no words escape from my mouth. Haymitch didn't tell me that Peeta was coming and I had guessed since he wasn't on the train that he wasn't coming. I'm not ready to see him again. There's way too much left unsaid and I don't know how to say it or where to begin. I wish that I could tell him that I wanted things to be different, but it's too late for that. I doubt that he's got someone new, but there's no way he could still feel as he did before that train ride years ago. After about thirty seconds of awkwardly standing there, he breaks the silence by clearing his throat and then speaking.

"So…I guess I'll just see you there. It would be nice to chat and catch up, but I have to go find Haymitch," Peeta says with a slight smile and walks down the hallway towards Haymitch's room.

I don't know why in the world he would want to catch up with the girl that broke his heart. His positive attitude confuses me. Last time we saw each other, it didn't end well. I'm almost positive that both of us left crying after a long battle of fighting and screaming at each other.

Of course, at dinner Peeta and I are seated next to each other. Neither of us says a word. It takes every ounce of effort not to leave, go up to my room, and cry for an hour. I make it through the dinner. There's a party after the dinner, but I don't feel like going. I'm not in the mood to put on a happy face and share Hunger Games tales with the other past victors.

I push the button for the elevator. Why is it being so slow? Wanting to escape, I press the button repeatedly until the elevator doors finally open. There's no one else in the elevator. That's a good thing. Now I'll have some privacy to torture myself by thinking of what I've done to Peeta. The doors are closing just as someone puts their hand in the way to stop them from closing. It's exactly the one person that I'd been trying to avoid. The odds are certainly not in my favor today.

"So listen, Katniss. I'm sorry for the way that I acted the last time we saw each other. I shouldn't have said all those things or yelled at you." Peeta goes on for a while, but I try not to listen too closely. All I can do is look into those blue eyes. I'm on the verge of tears and I know he can see that. I wish he would stop talking, but he doesn't. Though I'm not paying too much attention, I can tell that he is talking about working in the bakery. This is too painful.

"There's something I have to tell—." I don't let him finish his sentence. I can bear to hear anymore.

"Peeta…can we just not do this?"

"Do what?" he asks. He clearly doesn't see what's wrong.

"Act like we can have a normal conversation about what's been going on in our lives. We can't. If things were different, maybe we could. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you go on and on about how perfect your life is working at the bakery." I spit at him.

My mind is spinning and he locks his eyes on mine. The tears I was trying to hold back start to stream down my face. I don't bother to wipe them away. He says nothing for a while, just stares at me.

"Alright then, we won't talk," he says quietly. He reaches his hand up and gently wipes my tears away.

It's a silent ride for the rest of the way up to our floor. The doors open and I try my best not to sprint to my room. Peeta keeps up with my pace, even though I wish he wouldn't. I arrive at my door and he says goodbye. I don't say anything to him. I linger at my door for a few seconds debating on whether or not to watch him as he walks away. I decide to watch him walk away, but as I turn my head I notice that he isn't walking down the hall anymore. He's a few feet behind me, opening the door directly across the hall from me. I didn't know that he and I would be roomed near each other.

"Peeta. Uhm…I just…" I have no clue what I'm trying to say or why I'm even saying anything at all. I don't get the chance to blurt out any more words because he opens his door and just behind it is a blonde woman. Her face lights up at the sight of Peeta. Before I can even process the thought in my mind of what a woman would be doing in his room, her lips are on his. I want to turn and run into my room. What is going on?

They break away from each other and Peeta turns to face me. "Katniss, this is my wife, Mabel. Mabel, this is Katniss Everdeen."