Heaven (Please Don't Cry)
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry
"Look, Fwoken! Look what I've found!" cried five-year-old Van happily. I smiled at my younger brother, who was clutching a broken stick and brandishing it like a sword. He had mussed his hair again, and traces of dirt were all over his loose red shirt and white short. He giggled, swinging at and missing a passing butterfly. After several swipes, I laughed at his brother's attempts.
And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not good-bye
"I see you've been practicing."
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
"Balgus was teaching me! I'm going to learn how sword jus like you, bwother!" Van grinned in pure jubilation as I picked up another stick, a dull one, and pointed in at Van, a silly smile on my face as he forgot about my father's death, forgot about my initiation rite as the King of Fanalia. All I thought about was my little brother, and how much I cherished his call. I let out a surprised yell as Van thrust his stick at me and thus 'killing' me.
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
"I won, I won! I beat you, Fwoken!"
I'll be with you…
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up, don't ask why
"What's the matter, Van?" I asked, eyes filled with concern at why he would wake me up in the middle of the night, especially when he knew I was to go and slay the dragon tomorrow.
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
"Are you really leaving, bwother?" he asked, tear flowing out of those big eyes. His mouth was curved down in a pout, and his lower lip as trembling.
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams, ohh…
"It's alright, Van, I'll be back tomorrow by the time the sun sets in the sky," I said reassuringly.
Don't cry, I'm with you, don't cry, I'm by your side
"Here, I'll read you that dragon book. Then you'll be able to sleep again, okay?" He nodded, wiping his tears away. I picked up the book from my nightstand, and listened to the crickets chirp to the Mystic Moon on what I didn't then was my last night with my brother as Folken Lacour de Fanel, Prince of Fanalia.
Don't cry, I'm with you, don't cry, I'm by your side
"Once upon a time, the Dragon King roamed upon the land…"
And though my flesh is gone, ohhh
"Fwoken, why do we have to kill dwagons?" asked Van, reddish brown eyes lit with curiosity.
I'll still be with you at all times
I thought for a moment, not knowing what to say. Van had asked a question that had burned within me for some time: why did we have to slay the beasts? They've never done us wrong.
"I don't know, Van. I don't know."
And though my body's gone, ohhh
"You will come back, won't you, Fwoken?"
I'll be there to comfort you at all times
"
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry
If I'm gone when you wake up, it's not good-bye
"But Mommy! Fwoken pwomised he'd be back when the Mystic Moon wises! Fwoken didn't- he didn't lie, did he?"
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
"I'm sure he didn't mean to break his promise, sweetie. Folken will be back, perfectly fine. Believe in him."
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
I don't want you to cry and weep, ohhh
"
I want you to go on living you life
"You shut up!" shouted Van, big eyes blazing with anger. He shook his little fists at the one that had spoken. "My bwother is not a coward! He'll come bwack, and when he's king, he'll send his knights to pwunish you!" The men roared with laughter, and Van deflated, crying.
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, ohhh
"Don't speak about Prince Folken that way!" commanded a large man that had recently arrived. "Prince Van, don't cry. Prince Folken will come back with your mother soon."
In your heart you have all of our good times
"I know. Fwoken wouldn't ever bweak a pwomise."
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry
And now that I lie here, Van, my bare chest against this cold floor, my once magnificent wings now black and broken, and my heart meeting the same fate as my wings…I think of you. Thank you, brother, for believing me longer than anyone else.
And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not good-bye
I realize it's too late to repent now, Van, with my own blade in my heart. I've made so many mistakes. I hope you'll forgive me, for the pain I've caused you, and the pain I've caused our mother. I never meant to hurt you, but to give you a better life. And through that I almost killed you.
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
My time is running out, as I lie in a pool of my own blood. My teardrop tattoo is still there, it will forever be there. I thought all these years that I could not love, but the truth was I didn't let myself love. Perhaps if I did…you and I could play like we used to in the lush gardens of our home. And perhaps my leopard twins, my Naria and Eriya, perhaps they would still be alive…but I did not give them the love that they needed so much. I now realize I've been a fool.
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
And now, I come to an end. I have said all I have to say. I'm happy that I'll die, Van- because I'll die for you. And now, as I whisper your name, my final words, I remember the way you said my name in the gardens behind the palace the day before I left. The day I sparred with you using stick. I remember your cry, Van.
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams…
It was the cry I always cherished.
I love you, little brother.
A/N: I started crying when I wrote that. I'm pretty pathetic, ne? Ah, well. I think it's sad that Folken died. He was one of my favorite characters. "With You In Your Dreams" is written and performed by Hanson, and is probably the only song they wrote that makes sense. I don't like Hanson, but the song is really sad and pretty.