His Melodies
Written by: LiQuYu
April 2nd, 2008

Disclaimer: Obivously I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny, nor do I own any of Nicol's sheet musics. I do however own a Dynames Gundam Model. D
Author's Notes: Nicol has 5 compositions. Yes, 5 compositions. Yes, they are real songs. I'm not making them up either. The first one used in Seed (Namida no Tears/Theme of Tears) while the other four can be found on Kira's Destiny suit cd. The other four were never used in Destiny but one of the themes was used as the ending song for Gundam Seed SuperNova Fan Disc. Just in case someone is wondering, sheet music is available. Google Josh's anime sheet music.

When I wrote this, my intention was to make it a friendship fic. It still remains so, unless you wanna think other wise. I apologize in advance for the many time jumps. I tried to make the transitions as smooth as possible. The ending didn't came out how I had wanted but since I've spent nearly a week on just the last paragraphs, sometimes you just have to let go, and move on with life. Well enjoy.

"Oi Yzak," called Dearka lazily from the sofa he was resting on. "Aren't you going to come?" Yzak Joule eyed his companion with a raised eyebrow before turning back to the stack of papers in his hands.

"I don't have time to waste," was his reply. "We still haven't completed our mission." Yzak scowled and clenched a fist as he recalled there past battles, as well as an effort to empathize and justify his reasoning. In truth, he did want to go, but he'd rather not go when a certain Athrun Zala would be present. He'd rather sit out than put up with Athrun anymore than he had to. Dearka rolled his eyes.

"Just put your pride aside and come enjoy yourself with us," persuaded Dearka firmly, but gently. "We may never get another chance like this." With the battles they were fighting, it was hard to imagine when their next break would be, and if an offer like this would arise again. Yzak remained silent but got up from his seat across the laid back blonde.

"You know it would mean a lot to Nicol if you came," called Dearka to his friend's back. Yzak ignored the bait and headed straight for the door, not wanting Dearka to see his expression. Dearka's little guilt trip would not have an affect on Yzak. Dearka didn't know a single thing about Yzak Joule. Dearka couldn't see through him.

It was rare for them to have some time to themselves. Yzak had intended to make the most of it by re-evaluating his skills and how they would defeat the Strike and finally sink the Archangel. It was illogical that they'd been defeated so many times by one suit and one annoying mobile armour. Just the very thought had infuriated him. Athrun Zala however, infuriated him even more. Yzak couldn't put his finger on the exact reason, but it was clear that the chairman's son was holding back. Didn't he realize that every time he held back, that potentially one of their comrades could be injured? Or worst, die? Yzak had confronted the teen on that matter, being the outspoken and frank person he was. However, Athrun had only managed to anger him even more by giving him a round about answer that lead to no where; an answer that did not answer the original question nor did it solve anything. If anything, it added to the problem, which enraged Yzak to point of wanting to pull his hair out.

Dearka and Nicol had sensed the increase in tension. They had witness the confrontation after all, no matter how "peaceful" it had been. Luckily, they had reached the Victoria base before things had really gotten out of hand. To their relief, they were allowed to relax for a bit before their next mission. However, their time off had yet to defuse the ever growing tensions between Yzak and Athrun. Seizing the opportunity, Nicol had invited them to be entertained by some music. Nicol had said music calmed the soul, and spoke words that could not be spoken if one were to listen.

He would prepare some music for them; music that he'd play for them, music that he had composed for them. The boy had shyly asked if they'd attend a mini private recital if he held one. Athrun had accepted the invitation with pleasure as had Dearka. Yzak Joule, was another story. He scowled and berated the piano player for spending time on such meaningless things. Nicol just smiled warmly at Yzak and apologized. Yzak, feeling awkward, had dismissed the boy and fled the room, but not before catching the look of disappointment but understanding in the young Amalfi's eyes.

"Well then, suit yourself," said Dearka as he brushed passed Yzak. Yzak hadn't realized he had stopped before the door, lost in thought.

"Don't regret it later," Dearka called over his shoulder has the door slid open. With that, Dearka left room and headed towards the piano recital room, leaving Yzak behind.

Yzak stood hesitantly outside the door to the piano recital. His ears picked up on the few odd notes but he could not hear the melody nor feel the emotions that were emitted. Grinding his teeth, he debated whether or not he should enter. Unable to swallow his pride, Yzak turned on his heel and fled.

Yzak didn't know what had happened during Nicol's recital but Athrun had emerged from the room with tears spilling from his eyes. Nicol was at his side, trying to comfort the older boy as the duo headed off to a more secluded location. As they passed by Yzak, Nicol sent him a warm, almost sorrowful, smile. Yzak was perplexed at the whole situation as he observed the disappearing forms of his two comrades.

"You really should have set your pride aside, Yzak." Yzak turned around, ready to shout an insult into his teammate's face to shut him up but he stopped. The boy wasn't grinning as Yzak had expected. Instead, a calm, serene expression had graced Dearka's face. He wasn't crying, nor where there indications that he was, but his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears.

Yzak swore to himself that he'd go and apologize to Nicol. Yzak would not berate his friend for loving music. Yzak would listen to his recital, even if he didn't have a single clue about music. Yzak would listen to those piano pieces Nicol had wrote for them. Yzak would let the music calm his soul. Yzak would listen to that unspoken message. Yzak wouldn't get that chance.

Yzak blinked back furiously the tears that threatened to shed as he slammed Athrun against the lockers. Yzak had confronted Athrun about his hesitations. He had forewarned Athrun of the consequences. So why hadn't he heeded his words, even if they were angrily shouted in his face with accusation lacing them. Nicol's locker popped open beside them, sheet music flying from it. Notes gracefully written by Nicol danced across the pages as they scattered; a reminder of the melodies that Yzak would never hear.

Dearka, being more level-headed than the other two, had tried to calm the duo and separate them. The silver duelist ended up storming out of the room, Dearka right behind him. Between Yzak and Athrun, Dearka had concluded that Yzak would be the more likely of the two to do something rash.

"Oi! Yzak!" called Dearka as he chased the silver-haired teen down the hallways. Yzak continued to ignore the calls for him and storm down the hallways. "Yzak!" He violently shoved a soldier out of his way, sending the man into another soldier. Dearka sent the soldiers a quick look of apology and continued his chase after the rampaging teen.

"Yzak!" Dearka grabbed Yzak firmly by the wrist, stopping the teen in his tracks. Violent eyes met the intense and angry eyes of Yzak Joule. Dearka saw what lay behind those unwavering eyes. Sensing the gaze of onlookers and wishing for some privacy, Dearka only tightened his grip on Yzak's wrist as he struggled to break free. Not allowing Yzak to protest, Dearka pulled the teen into the closest room.

Yzak yanked his wrist out of Dearka's grasp as he was shoved forcibly into the room. It only took one glare from Yzak to send the room's occupants fleeing. The door shut firmly behind the last occupant as Yzak unleashed a hail of angry insults and protests. Yzak would not allow his tears to fall. They would not fall.

Dearka said nothing to Yzak. His actions spoke more than any words he could have said. Dearka's arms encircled Yzak and pulled him into a tight embrace. There were no more cries of anger and hate. Only silence. The room remained silent save only for the sounds of two teenagers, mourning the lost of their friend. No tears fell from Yzak Joule's eyes though, even if Dearka saw right through him.

"Pardon me?" The green-haired woman before him blinked several times as tears continued to stream down her face. Yzak forced himself to not fidget as he began to feel uncomfortable beneath the woman's stare.

"With all due respect Madam, I wish to keep these compositions," Yzak repeated firmly. Yzak held the folder that contained Nicol's sheet music in his hands. He had no desire of parting with them yet. He had kept them safe during the war, but he knew he simply couldn't keep them, even if he had plans for them.

The Lady of the Amalfi house gazed into Yzak's eyes, as if she were searching for something. Yzak gazed back the woman who was Nicol's mother. His face did not show any nervousness or rather, it showed a lack of emotion. It was simply blank. However, his eyes betrayed him. Lady Amalfi saw the fire, and the endearment hidden behind that emotionless face.

She took the folder from Yzak's hands. Her eyes affectionately going over the notes as her heart played the melodies she saw. Closing her eyes, she closed the folder. With a nod of her head, she handed the folder over to the emotionless boy who had an expression of both sorrow and happiness.

Yzak didn't know how to play piano, but he was determined to learn. He had overcome the odds numerous times during the past two wars and he would be damned if a piano overcame him. It had been three long war torn years since Nicol's death. The folder that contained Nicol's sheet music laid in a glass display case near the piano, unopened as he stared at the beginner level sheets before him. Since the day he had received the folder from Lady Amalfi, it had not been opened. Yzak knew that Nicol had been a brilliant pianist. It was common knowledge. Yzak expected the pieces to be difficult and he dare not try his hand at the pieces until he was sure he was at the standard to play them.

Nearly a month had passed since he began his self-taught piano lessons. He refused to hire a teacher. Yzak had thought of asking the pink haired songstress for help but decided against that notion. The pink princess was busy as is, and if Dearka, his idiot for a best friend, could self-teach himself the guitar, then he, the superior Coordinator (both in rank, maturity and intelligence), could teach himself how to play piano. The only issue was why was it taking him so long to do so?!

Yzak's eyebrow twitched angrily as he berated himself for making another mistake. Taking a deep breath, he resumed playing. Not long after, shouting could be hear in the piano room of the Joule household as another mistake was unfortunately committed. Yzak massaged his temples in frustration. He wanted to play the melodies. He wanted to, even if the boy wasn't there no longer, to at least hear what Nicol want him to hear; what Athrun and Dearka had heard; to feel the emotions they had felt. He wanted to hear the unspoken message Nicol had left for them. Yzak wanted to hear his melodies.

The sun cast its yellow and orange rays into the room. Dusk was approaching and the sun would soon set, bringing an end to another day. Yzak's heart swelled with emotion and he blinked furiously to keep back the angry tears. He couldn't apologize to Nicol now, and he hadn't attended the recital. Couldn't he at least hear the melodies of what he lost and missed? A breeze swept through the room, wrapping Yzak in a nostalgic warmth of someone he once knew.

Yzak didn't know why, but something beckoned to open the folder that contained Nicol's sheet music. Yzak retrieved the folder of sheet music and sat back down on the piano bench. The breeze played with his hair gently as he opened the folder. Revealed inside the dark blue folder contained five pieces. To his surprise, the pieces were fairly reasonable, not the incredibly hard Mozart-level piece he'd expect to find. Yzak decided to play in the order that the pieces were found.

"Nicol's Piano, Theme of Spring," Yzak announced to no one in particular. Yzak placed his hand on the keys and struck the first few notes. His right and left hands struggled to stay in sync and at the correct tempo. Yzak's heart began to ache as he thought he might not have been meant to hear the pieces. Yzak shut his eyes tightly to prevent any angry tears from spilling. The sun's rays warmed his body as he felt the breeze again, that nostalgic breeze. His soul seemed calm all of a sudden, almost at peace even. By some unknown force, or maybe due to his stubbornness, Yzak decided to attempt the piece once more.

He began to gently strike the keys. To his amazement, his hands began to move, playing the notes correctly. It was almost like magic. The hands that were delicately moving across the piano, surely they couldn't have been his hands. It was almost as if his hands had a mind of its own, or his hands were possessed by some unknown entity. The nostalgic breeze tickled his hair and face again, and his heart began to feel a tornado of emotions.

Yzak could feel the emotions from the theme of spring. Memories flooded his mind. They had all began their military during the spring. New beginnings, new bonds, everything had been filled with a brand new scent. Picking up the next piece, it was entitled the Theme of Rain. Yzak could not put into words his emotions when he listened to the piece. Yzak swallowed a lump in his throat as he placed the next piece on the piano to be played, the Theme of Separation. Yzak couldn't help but wonder if Nicol knew in advance he was going to be killed. He bit back a sob that threatened to escape but his hands continued to play.

The fourth piece was fairly simple. The Theme of Friendship it was entitled. The song brought back all the memories of the past several years of his life. Yzak blinked furiously was his tears threatened to spill. His emotions were whelming up inside of him as he felt things that he'd never thought he would.

Yzak placed the final piece on the piano to be played. The breeze continued to blow gently around him, continuing its playful nature with his silver hair. He sat there quietly listening to the melody, the unspoken message that Nicol wanted to tell them, to tell him. Then, one by one, Yzak's tears silently fell from his blue eyes as the sun began to set. He didn't sob or weep, but allowed the tears to fall freely as his heart finally heard the unspoken messages. Truly, the piece was Namida no Theme. It really was the Theme of Tears.

Yzak realized that his hands had stopped moving. He didn't know what had happened or how he had played those pieces but he had a feeling that the answer was right before him. In the orange and red rays of the setting sun, stood a translucent Nicol with a warm smile. The boy before him took a bow as Yzak's eyes widen. Nicol's smile only broadened. Nicol's eyes were merry with delight, filled with no regret nor sorrow. They reflected Nicol's happiness and Yzak felt his soul become tranquil as realization became apparent. Nicol had forgiven him. Rather, he had never blamed him from the start. He knew from the start. Their eyes locked and Yzak heard the last unspoken message as the breeze slowly began to fade away.

Thank you.

With that, Nicol vanished before him and the nostalgic breeze disappeared.

Fin

Thanks for reading. Comments, feedback and reviews are loved.