salut et quoi de neuf (hi and what's new)! this is Go-Kart Super Chaotic Challenge, my second oneshot. it's a comedy this time, which is different from the other stories i've written (they are both romance/drama). by the way, i love nascar and can't wait until the daytona 500 in february! well, i'll shut up now, so please read, review, and enjoy!
disclaimer: ouran high school host club is bisco hatori's, not mine
Go-Kart Super Chaotic Challenge
"Look Haruhi!" Tamaki pointed out cheerfully. "Cotton candy! Would you like to share some with Daddy?"
Fujioka Haruhi rolled her eyes as Suoh Tamaki dragged her to the cotton candy stand. She obviously did not have time for this crazy plan of his today. "Tamaki-senpai, please, I need to be at home studying for the exam-"
"But this is only a study break," Tamaki said with a huge smile, his blond hair shining brightly in the warm sun. "Which color would you like - the femininely cute pink, or the cool masculine blue?"
Was that supposed to be a joke? Haruhi thought as the Hitachiin brothers, Hikaru and Kaoru, came to join the conversation. Looks like this could get much worse…
"My Lord, wouldn't it be better for your sweet daughter if you bought both," they teased in unison. "We are sure that would fit her quite well," they continued with sly grins. They loved to see the reaction from Tamaki whenever his father role was being challenged.
"If you aren't satisfied with the way I'm doing my job as a father, then why don't you do it?" Tamaki studied their faces, looking for proof of a trick in progress. Like all of the other times, he had no clue what they were up to.
"Sure, come on, dear daughter. Let's get some cotton candy!" Hikaru copied Tamaki's cheerful voice and pulled her away. Haruhi didn't even bother protesting because with both of the twins around, there was no way out.
Tamaki's jaw dropped and he sat in a corner by a trashcan absolutely silent. Ootori Kyouya walked right by him, paused, and then turned around.
"What now, Daddy?" he asked, pushing his glasses up.
"Once again…they have stolen her from me!" Tamaki whined. "Why?!" He rested his head on his knees.
"Maybe you should let her come back on her own," Kyouya advised. "Even though I doubt she will," he said to himself.
"Ah, Kyouya, you sure know what to do in these situations."
"Not really. I just observed the whole thing while selling more club pictures of Haruhi," he replied simply. He held up a portfolio of the pictures in one hand, and some cash in the other. "Seems like they sell really well here."
Tamaki felt as if a weight had been dropped on his head. "Thanks…" he said quietly.
"Why are we here anyways?" Kyouya asked, looking around the amusement park.
"I don't know. Guess I thought Haruhi would want to go."
"Hmm…she seems to be enjoying herself," Kyouya pointed to Haruhi and the twins lining up for a ride. The twins knew that Tamaki was watching them, so they stuck their tongues out to provoke his irritation further.
Tamaki's eyes began to glow red and it seemed as if he was about to breathe fire. He couldn't ignore her smiling face, but he looked away before his anger grew too much.
"You know, instead of sitting by a trashcan, you could get up and do something about it," Kyouya added. He took out his cell phone and pressed a few buttons. "I'm going to be useful and find Hunny and Mori."
Tamaki stared at the ground as Kyouya left. He has a point… He blinked the sun out of his eyes, put on his sunglasses and got to his feet.
"Hikaru," Kaoru started, noticing the president of their club approaching towards them. "He's back."
Hikaru remained silent and scanned the park, looking for the perfect idea. There were roller coasters, arcades, go-karts…
"What are we going to do?" asked Kaoru.
"We are going to have a race…" Hikaru replied slowly, still plotting.
Kaoru looked in the direction Hikaru was. "A race…hmm, appears interesting enough."
"Yes, and I have the perfect prize," he added, the reflection of Haruhi in his golden eyes.
"Stop!" Tamaki ordered the twins, trying his best to get Haruhi away from them. "Haruhi, come with me."
"Huh? Why?" Haruhi asked, clearly confused.
"Yes, why?" Hikaru taunted, putting his arm around Haruhi and pulling her closer to him.
"Do you really want to ruin our fun?" Kaoru added, detecting the jealous glint in Tamaki's eyes. Everything was going to work out perfectly.
"What do you want?" Tamaki asked them at last, tired of playing their games. He didn't know what he was getting himself into, but he wanted the rest of the day to make at least one special memory with Haruhi. The possibilities of a victory celebration with Haruhi played in his mind as he waited for their response.
"We want to have a race," Hikaru answered him, confidence clearly showing in his attitude. "A go-kart race."
"And," Kaoru took over, letting go of Haruhi and stepping forward towards his brother. "Winner gets to spend the rest of the day with Haruhi - alone."
Suddenly, Tamaki knew that he had to win the race. How hard could it be to beat the twins at a simple race?
"I'm in too," Kyouya stated suddenly, his appearance shocking everyone. They were too involved in their high-intensity moment to notice him. "But just because I'd like to first-hand witness the triumphant winner's victory."
"Ooh, what's going on?" Hunny asked, riding on Mori's shoulders, joining the conversation as well.
"A go-kart race. You want in?" Kaoru informed them.
"Sure, but why don't you give it a better name?" Hunny suggested, Mori letting him down carefully to the ground.
"Already one step ahead of you," Hikaru answered.
"It's the Go-Kart Super Chaotic Challenge!" they said together, proud of their genius plan.
"Oh wonderful…" Haruhi said to herself, slowly backing away as the challenge began to get more and more attention. "Why is it always me?"
"Ooh, these are nice!" Hunny said with excitement as the custom-built, ultra high-tech go-karts Kyouya ordered were slowly loaded off of their moving trucks.
"I bet this one's mine," Tamaki declared, admiring the red and orange flame paint scheme on a go-kart with the number nine decorated on the side.
"Sorry," Kyouya laughed, hopping into the go-kart. "This one's mine."
"Then which one do I have?" he whined, looking around for one cooler than Kyouya's. To his horror, the only one left was a pastel pink and yellow Hello Kitty go-kart. "No…not that one…" He almost fainted right by the car, the thought of Haruhi laughing nonstop at his car in his mind.
The twins were snickering nearby, pleased with how the next step of their plan was going. "Cute car, my lord!" they said in between giggles. "I'm sure that Haruhi will have you drive her stuffed animals around in it!"
"Kyouya!" Tamaki complained, hanging on to the side of his car. "Why can't you fly another car here?"
"These go-karts took a long time to be assembled. I'm only lucky that they got here today," Kyouya replied, inspecting his car. "Maybe Hunny will trade with you."
Tamaki looked over at Hunny, who had chosen a go-kart with Godzilla on it - but was painting pink flames and flowers all over it. "I'm going to get a drink," he said, walking slowly away from the site. He found Haruhi sitting at a bench, admiring the live music at the amusement park.
"Tamaki-senpai?" she asked, moving over to let him sit down. "Did you pick out a car?" Even though she wasn't even remotely interested in their little challenge, she wanted to check up with them to make sure that they were all playing fair - like good little rich kids.
"My car…has Hello Kitty on it…" he replied gradually, expecting the laughs to come pouring out. Instead, it seemed that she ignored him, too interested in the music.
"Well, that's good. Guess I'll show up for the race," she reached over for her fruit smoothie and took a sip. "Call me when the race starts, okay?" she asked, setting the smoothie back down.
Okay, maybe I wouldn't have minded the laughing…Tamaki thought as he returned to the other members of the club, wondering if there was a matching helmet for the go-kart.
"Look what we have for you my lord!" Hikaru said with excitement, holding a gift out for Tamaki. Kyouya was busy tinkering with his go-kart, and Tamaki finally saw what car Mori had. His jaw dropped, wondering how even Mori had a go-kart better than his.
"A-a…motorcycle…scheme?" he asked in disbelief, paying no attention to Hikaru.
"Yes, a motorcycle," Hikaru said, shoving the gift into Tamaki's face. "Now open it."
Tamaki did as he was told, as Kaoru, who was sneaking behind them, slowly peeled away the backing of a bumper sticker, and slapped it onto Tamaki's car, trying as hard as he could to not make any sound. At last the sticker was on, and he popped up behind Hikaru to see Tamaki's face when he opened his present.
"It's an…oh great…" Tamaki almost fell over from shock. "Do I have to wear this?" he asked, a look of disgust on his face.
"If you don't follow the safety regulations…" Kaoru began, a sly grin appearing on his face.
"You can't participate in the race," Hikaru finished, knowing exactly what Tamaki was thinking.
"Then I won't-" Tamaki tossed the glittery pink and purple flower helmet to the side.
"I don't think you want to do that," Hikaru reminded him, looking over at Haruhi. She turned from her bench and waved at him, smiling brightly and glad that they weren't bugging her. Hikaru watched Tamaki's expression change as he blew her a kiss.
"Fine, I'm in!" Tamaki agreed, falling to his knees. He picked up the helmet and dusted it off. No matter how ridiculous he looked, he had to win, and protect Haruhi from the others. Eventually, he recovered from what the twins had just put him through, and went to inspect his car.
"Do you think he…?" Hikaru asked, as he climbed into his lime green car with bright yellow lightning across the sides. They waited for a few seconds and heard a high-pitched, girly shriek.
"He saw it," Kaoru answered, giving his brother a high-five before they worked on their traps for the race.
"I…don't get it," Tamaki said to himself as they lined their cars up at the starting line on the track. "Why are they even more…vicious than usual?" he kicked a pebble on the track, and it almost hit Haruhi, who was walking around, minding her own business.
"Tamaki-senpai!" Haruhi scolded him. "Watch where you kick things! And stop saying mean things about Hikaru and Kaoru!" she gave him a look that sent him into his self-enforced time-out.
"Great…now she hates me," he whispered dramatically as she walked past him, going to look at the go-karts.
"Okay, then we'll do this…" Hikaru summed up while pointing at a map of the track that they had drawn out. "Hmm, we better throw this in too."
"Hikaru, Kaoru, when's the race going to start?" asked Haruhi glancing at her watch. "I need to get home in an hour if I want at least a passing grade on that test tomorrow."
"Just a few more minutes," Kaoru answered, scribbling some notes down on the map. "Yes, that will be perfect-"
"Kaoru?" Haruhi looked through the cars, noticing that there were only five of them. "Who's in the race again?"
"Uh, everyone except me," he replied, still focused on the map.
"Then…what are you doing?"
"I'm the race official. I check for fair play," Kaoru responded with a grin. For some odd reason, Haruhi didn't believe the last part of what he said. "Oh, I almost forgot," Kaoru said suddenly, pulling a pink sharpie out of one of his pockets. "I've got some official duty to take care of." He waved good-bye and ran off in the direction of the Hello Kitty car.
"Don't worry, Haruhi," Hikaru reassured her, polishing the mirrors on his car for a moment. "Kaoru is dependable. It's me that you have to worry about."
"Wonderful…" she said, wandering off to check on the other members of the Host Club. They would probably have something to do other than toying with Tamaki.
Tamaki was hiding from Hikaru and Kaoru by the cotton candy stand, giving himself a pep talk. He wasn't sure how much humiliation he could take in his pastel-colored Hello Kitty go-kart and glittery helmet. "Just ten laps - that's all I have to do." He slumped to the ground and let his inner mind theater work on victory daydreams - but they just didn't come. Every thought was of him crashing, or being caught in one of the many traps that the twins had probably laid out for him. "Let's face it…they're obviously going to get their revenge-"
"What are you doing back there?" Haruhi interrupted him while invading his hiding spot. "The race is going to start in a few minutes." She honestly didn't care about the race - all she wanted to do was go home as soon as possible and study.
"I'm coming," he said with dread, his imagination still picturing the outcome of the race for him.
"We will get our revenge," Hikaru said, snapping his helmet on as Tamaki was getting into his car. "No one keeps Haruhi all to themselves." He took a brief glance around the track, finding that every single one of their traps was in place. Two hours ago, when they wanted to show Haruhi something for just one minute, the king shouted at them, claiming that it was his "special day with Haruhi". What does he mean by his special day? Isn't this a day out for anyone?
"Good luck, Hikaru," Kaoru wished his brother as he helped him find his starting position on the track. "It's time to go racing…"
With all five high-tech go-karts ready at the starting line, the spectators - who had been extremely interested by the high-tech cars - had begun picking their favorites. Haruhi sat in the bleachers, thinking that there might be an interesting moment or two in the race. Kaoru took his position in his race official stand and started the race - and the chaos.
Most of the go-karts flew past Kaoru at an unbelievably high speed (for a go-kart) - all except for Hunny, and Mori who was entirely committed to staying behind Hunny. Many of the girls in the stands thought it was adorable, and began to melt as Hunny flashed a cute smile at his fans.
Hikaru and Tamaki were both in the lead, with Kyouya lurking close behind. The cars buzzed past in a blur of green, red, and…pink. Once they were heading towards the third turn, Tamaki drove into the first trap. A girl that Hikaru had persuaded and paid dropped a dress that Tamaki had always been trying to convince Haruhi to wear on the track. It was timed perfectly and landed right on his head, both startling him and impairing his vision.
"What the…?" Haruhi wondered, watching the familiar pink dress on his head zoom around the track. The race was going to get even crazier, so she braced herself for the worst.
Tamaki was shocked for a moment, but realized that if he gave in, Hikaru would win, and he absolutely did not want that to happen. He reached up and ripped the dress out of his hair, sending it flying into Kyouya's face. He swerved and with skill, luckily avoided it, and they went five more laps around.
"Time for surprise number two…" Kaoru announced to himself as he pulled a lever they installed in the track, letting loose almost a hundred bouncy balls and setting off a foam sprayer. Hikaru received the signal from Kaoru and slid in front of Tamaki, forcing him to the inside. He hit the balls with the perfect timing, and he fought to control his steering wheel as the foam sprayed him directly in the face. On top of that, Hunny was cruising peacefully right in front of him. He leaned hard on the steering wheel and narrowly missed Hunny, leaving him with a cool breeze instead of a wrecked car.
"He's going down this time," Hikaru said in a determined voice, ready for the most classic but effective trap to go. They were on lap number nine, and the final trap would be set off on ten. Caught up in his excitement, he forgot all about one minor detail - his car was only two millimeters too close to the target area.
"Last lap!" Kaoru declared as the cheers from the crowd grew louder and louder. He snuck the banana peel out of his pocket and carefully dropped it at the exact second planned. His lips drew into a smile as he saw Tamaki driving toward the banana peel, knowing that this last trap would absolutely work.
"I've got to win!" Tamaki told himself as he ran over the banana peel. His car went out of control and before he thought it was all over, something fortunate happened. With Hikaru's car so close to his, he hit Hikaru and they smashed into the wall, barely three meters away from the finish line. The crowd watched in amazement as Kyouya dodged the wreck and slid across the finish line with skill.
"Kyouya…won?" Haruhi asked in disbelief, the entire track completely silent. No one expected him to win, although many of the girls cheered for him. Even though she doubted that he would win, she began clapping, and soon the rest of the fans were applauding and chanting Kyouya's name.
Hikaru climbed out of his go-kart, completely disappointed. He inspected the damage of his car, and knew exactly what his mistake was. "Good race," he said, extending his hand to Tamaki to shake.
"Uh, yeah, good race," Tamaki repeated, a little out of it after the crash, but he shook Hikaru's hand. He unbuckled his helmet and tossed it into the seat of the car. "Sorry…for hogging Haruhi all to myself today…" he apologized at last.
"Hmm, so you got the sense knocked into you during that crash?" Hikaru asked with a laugh.
"Yeah, I guess," replied Tamaki, watching Kyouya celebrate his victory. He grew quiet as Haruhi passed them and he hoped that she wouldn't say anything to them.
"That was some pretty skilled driving out there," she commented to both of them, a smile on her face. "I thought it was going to be a waste of time, but I enjoyed it."
Tamaki averted her eyes and tried to slowly back away while she was talking with Hikaru.
"Hey," Haruhi said, catching him in the act of leaving, "where are you going?"
"I'm going to congratulate Kyouya," he answered quickening his pace to get out of there as fast as he could.
"He's just sore because he lost," Hikaru shrugged as Haruhi watched him leave, wondering if the race meant more to him than she thought.
"So, the rest of the day is just for you two," Kaoru said as him, Hikaru, Tamaki, Hunny, and Mori waited by the limos, ready to take off. "Have fun!" The driver opened the door and they began to pile in.
Kyouya dug for his cell phone in his pocket and pressed his shortcut button for his limo. Before he got into the car, Tamaki paused, noticing what Kyouya was doing.
"Why are you going to do that?" he asked, standing by the door and preventing Kyouya from making his phone call. "You have the rest of the day with her - why don't you make the best of it?"
Kyouya remained quiet, but did not put his cell phone away. Haruhi looked back and forth between him and Tamaki as if watching a ping-pong match. "I would love to spend the rest of the day with Haruhi. But, she mentioned that she much rather study for her test," he stated simply.
Not that I would "much rather", but more like "I have to", thought Haruhi, a bit annoyed by his choice of words. Still, it was quite considerate of him to let her have her study time.
Tamaki watched the sunset and knew that Kyouya was right. After all of the craziness from today, it would be best if Haruhi went home to do her studying. When Kyouya attempted to call his limo for the second time, he didn't stop him. Haruhi deserved to spend time with someone who cared that much about her…
His thoughts were interrupted by a squirt in the face - from a water gun with green food coloring. "Sorry, my lord," Hikaru managed to say in between giggles. "You were spacing out, so we needed to wake you up."
Tamaki turned, his eyes burning with fury. "I'm going to kill you!" he yelled as he hopped into the limo, ready to win whatever contest they planned for him.
"He never learns…" Kaoru said, squirting the king again in the face with a blast of purple water as the limo drove off into the sunset.