The Untold Tales of Tingle - By Piplup
Piplup: You know all those times where Link is slacking off? Well, then it becomes Tingle's problem. I'm here to tell you about some of those events. Here's the Legend of Link and the Cookie.
One day, Link had just obtained a distress call from the Princess Zelda. Link runs home, grabs his sword and shield, and rushes to the castle. Obviously he has to fight monsters on the way there. It slowed him down, but not as much as when he got distracted cutting down grass looking for weed to smoke so he could look cool and make an awesome entrance. His entrance wasn't as awesome as he had hoped for, but it was surprising… When he burst through the castle doors, his shield was in pieces and he looked surprisingly scared. He had found out what the distress call was about. Zelda reminded him that he's the hero. Link knew he had to do it when suddenly something came through the roof… What could it be?
Oh, it was just the mailman. He had a letter, 3 in fact, for Link. Link read the first one.
Dear Link,
I need you to come home and bake me some cookies.
Grandma-
Link was upset. He read the second letter.
Dear Link,
Yes, you have to come NOW!!!
Grandma-
Link was about to kill someone. He reached for his sword while he read the third letter.
Dear Link,
Leave your sword behind. I don't want you to kill anyone with eternal vengeance.
Grandma-
P.S. Hurry up and bake my cookies.
Suddenly and without warning, the doors flew open! Everyone was freaking out! Then they realized it was just Tingle. "Who dropped the Rupees?"
Everyone calmed down, and Zelda said, "Go talk to the big, scary monster outside, I bet he knows." Tingle left and the doors slammed shut behind him.
Link realized his Grandma was probably really mad, so he ran outside. He remembered he couldn't bring his sword, so he threw it as hard as he could into the sky. He also attached the distress call from Zelda to the sword. Unfortunately, yet also luckily, it hit Tingle's balloon and popped it. Link ran home while Tingle fell to the ground. Lucky for Tingle, the sword left the distress call from Zelda on the balloon. The sword was gone though. Unfortunately, Tingle's rupee search was over, so he ran to Zelda's castle and asked about the distress call.
"I want to take on the distress call challenge!" Tingle said triumphantly.
"Fine," Zelda said unwillingly. "You need a weapon though."
"Already have one," Tingle said taking out his balloon.
"Ok, whatever. The monster was seen near the castle, it's probably gone by now though. Your mission is to find and kill it."
"Ok, see you later. Kiloo Limpah!" Tingle said as he blew up a balloon and took flight out of the castle.
Tingle flew to the nearest Balloon Shop. He spent his newly acquired rupees on as many balloons as he could buy. He left the store and headed out to find the beast that had been tormenting the castle. He thought about where he would be if he was a big, powerful, ferocious beast. He thought he had the answer!
He ran as fast as he could! He barged inside and said he wanted to get a scary, terrifying beast. They told him to sit, and they'll be right with him. Someone went over to his table. Tingle threw down a few rupees. The man took them and smiled. "I know what you want. Here you go." The man set a big pie on his table. Tingle smiled happily. "You can't save the world on an empty stomach you know!" The man left Tingle to eat in peace. Tingle finished the pie and decided that he had to get serious.
Tingle looked outside and saw that the town was destroyed. He ran outside and saw the big, scary, powerful, terrifying beast. It was a dragon. Tingle took out a balloon. He attached it to a paddle ball. He started playing paddle ball when he aimed the paddle ball at the dragon. He swung and the balloon flew o\at the dragon. It exploded and the dragon was in pain. He wasn't used to explosions. He was used to the toothpick like thing called a sword that Link uses. Again Tingle chucked the exploding balloon at the dragon. And again the dragon was in pain. The dragon blew fire at Tingle. All of Tingle's balloons blew up on Tingle. Tingle was now in tremendous pain. He knew that if he was hit one more time, he would die.
Tingle thought fast. He took out his last balloon and a rupee. He attached the rupee to the balloon and let it fly away. The dragon surprisingly chased after the balloon, but was afraid to pop it, because it thought the balloon would explode. The dragon was gone and the town saved.
Piplup: Yes, shocking but true. Didn't you ever wonder if Link had spare time? Well, let's check up on Link now, shall we?
Grandma: You call this a cookie? You are a horrible chef!