Hiya! I think I'll try to make my first RE fic! This is a parody thingy of
Resident Evil CODE: Veronica (X)! Please R&R, I want to see what you think.
I don't own Claire, Rodrigo, or any other Resident Evil characters. They
are copyright of Capcom, so Don't SUE ME!!! ^_^ Anyway, on with the
fanfic...
The American Mid-Western Town called Raccoon City has been completely decimated to the T-Virus outbreak thanks to the international corporation called Umbrella (which used to sell umbrellas BTW). Claire Redfield, a sexy 19-year-old college student/action hero lady, and a butt ugly rookie police officer named Leon S. Kenney (no relation to President Kennedy) managed to survive these horrors. Actually...about 8 more people survived too, but no one gives a crap about them right now. But their ordeal was a prelude of things to come...
3 Months Later...
Two big helicopters with Umbrella logos on them flew towards a big island. A woman was placed inside a jail cell, covered in a bag.
"Your code thingy is W4K996TXYZ1NPC4BQ9PD..." said a soldier.
They took the bag off of the girls head to reveal...dun dun dun...Claire Redfield! Yes, that short, kinda chubby girl from Resident Evil 2 who managed to kick some major ass.
"Welcome to your new home..."
Claire turned around to meet the butt of the mans rifle. She fell to the floor.
Narrator: Her name is Claire Redfield. She was caught littering at an Umbrella base in Paris. Her favorite color is red. She likes flowers, sunsets, and men who aren't afraid to cry. She was caught looking for her long lost brother Chris Redfield, one of the survivors on S.T.A.R.S. team.
Shows Claire running down a long hallway as action music played. A bunch of bullets zipped past her as she continued running. She threw a banana behind her and a soldier slipped on it, falling on his face. She laughed evilly and got to the window when a bright light shined. Claire covered her face and hissed.
"THE LIGHT!!! THE LIGHTTT!!!!! MY EYEEEES!!!!!!!" Claire screamed.
Claire looked to see a machine gun whirring. She gasped, turned and ran past the two guards just in time. The guards didn't make it as they were pumped full of led (YAY!). Claire fell on her face, got up and started running again down the extremely long hallway as the chopper followed along side the window. It aimed at her and fired, she was able to keep just ahead of the fire until the chopper crashed into a telephone pole.
"Hahaha! Suckers!" She yelled as she continued running. She turned to see a stairs right in front of her. "AHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Claire tripped and fell down the stairs. She rolled back up and looked to see 100 bazillion soldiers aiming guns at her.
"Aw crackers....."
The soldiers started walking towards her. She looked behind them to see conveniently placed gas tanks. She grinned and raised her arms up. She did some weird John Woo move, which ended up with her falling on her ass. The gun landed on her hand and she fired at the tanks. They, of course, exploded and sent everyone flying. Claire landed in front of the stairs. She looked at the people lying there amongst the flames.
"My leg!" one guy yelled.
Claire got up and smiled. "I kick so much ass! ^_^"
She heard footsteps and looked up to stare down the barrel of a 14 Caliber Double MXP Handgun with Duel Shock pistol aimer thingys and a semi- automatic trigger thingy.
"Crap!"
"Don't move." The cool black dude with the best voice acting in the game said as he aimed his gun at her. Claire scratched her forehead, the guy shot in the air. "DON'T MOVE DAMNIT!!!!"
"._. Yes sir!" Claire yelled as she froze. The camera does a major close up on Claire's eye, and bumps into it. "OW!"
"Sorry!" The cameraman yelled.
It shows Claire on the ground on a prison cell in the darkness. You hear a rumbling sound as Claire gets up and stares at the bars of the cell. She put her hands on the bars and hit her head on them in aggravation. She heard shuffling sounds and looks to see someone walking through the door.
"AHHHHHH!!! ZOMBIE!!!!!!" Claire screamed as she jumped back and started hyperventilating. The guy sweatdropped and stood in front of the cell, yes, just stood there. Claire sweatdropped. "It's hard to see, I should get my lighter out because I cant see and it's hard to see and the light will make it easier to see." She whispered to herself. She pulled her lighter out of her item list box thingy and turned it on to stare into the face of that same guy who caught her. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" the guy yelled.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" they both yelled. The guy opened the door, nodded, and walked to his chair. He sat down and pulled out a medicine capsule.
"Perfect!" he yelled as he threw the medicine on the floor in aggravation. "Go on! Get out! This place is finished! I dunno, it musta been a Special Forces team. But in any case this prison's been taken over. Our soldiers got distracted by something shiny."
"What are you saying?" Claire asked.
"You're free to leave, but you might as well know you're most likely not getting outta here alive."
"What about you? What are you going to do?"
"I'm gonna stay here and sit on my ass until a self destruct system is activated or something."
"How about we work together like Rebecca and Billy did in Resident Evil Zero?"
"No, I'm tired and I wanna sleep. Goodnight. Wake me up at 5." He said as he fell asleep and started snoring immediately. "Zzzzzzzzzz!"
"Hello?" Claire asked.
"Zzzzzzz!"
"WAKE UP!!!!"
"AHHHHH!!!!!" The black dude jumped up again.
"Whoa, calm down."
"Sorry, it's just that the black guy always dies first..."
"Oh I understand." Claire said. "Oh, have you seen my brother, about yay hi, short black spiky hair?"
"No, go awaaaaay!" he said annoyed. He immediately started snoring again. Claire sighed and looked around. She saw handgun bullets on the chair and picked them up.
"Handgun Bullets. Take it? Yes." She said to herself as she put it in her item pocket thingy. She looked on the floor and read the capsule. "H...h...homicidal...medicine?" she asked as she tried to read the label. "Okay then. I better get some homicidal medicine for him, or not. Oh well." Claire looked on the desk and read the paper. It was a boring report thing so she just skipped to the part that had her name in it.
'Claire Redfield: Likes to eat cheese'
"How did they know?" Claire asked. "HOW DID THEY KNOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!???????"
"Shhhh! I'm trying to sleep!" the black guy said.
"Sorry." Claire said. She looked at the paper again.
'Name of the black guy standing next to you: Rodrigo Juan Raval'
"Ooooooaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Claire said as she looked at him. She looked next to the paper to see a knife. She picked it up. "Combat Knife. Take it? Yes-No. Yes." She put it in her pocket. She looked at the door leading out of the room. "Okay, I bet this door will lead to many hallways and stupid puzzles that'll get me the hell outta here." Claire sighed, opened the door, and walked out.
Yeah, I know. It's short, but it'll get better! Please R&R! Thanks!
The American Mid-Western Town called Raccoon City has been completely decimated to the T-Virus outbreak thanks to the international corporation called Umbrella (which used to sell umbrellas BTW). Claire Redfield, a sexy 19-year-old college student/action hero lady, and a butt ugly rookie police officer named Leon S. Kenney (no relation to President Kennedy) managed to survive these horrors. Actually...about 8 more people survived too, but no one gives a crap about them right now. But their ordeal was a prelude of things to come...
3 Months Later...
Two big helicopters with Umbrella logos on them flew towards a big island. A woman was placed inside a jail cell, covered in a bag.
"Your code thingy is W4K996TXYZ1NPC4BQ9PD..." said a soldier.
They took the bag off of the girls head to reveal...dun dun dun...Claire Redfield! Yes, that short, kinda chubby girl from Resident Evil 2 who managed to kick some major ass.
"Welcome to your new home..."
Claire turned around to meet the butt of the mans rifle. She fell to the floor.
Narrator: Her name is Claire Redfield. She was caught littering at an Umbrella base in Paris. Her favorite color is red. She likes flowers, sunsets, and men who aren't afraid to cry. She was caught looking for her long lost brother Chris Redfield, one of the survivors on S.T.A.R.S. team.
Shows Claire running down a long hallway as action music played. A bunch of bullets zipped past her as she continued running. She threw a banana behind her and a soldier slipped on it, falling on his face. She laughed evilly and got to the window when a bright light shined. Claire covered her face and hissed.
"THE LIGHT!!! THE LIGHTTT!!!!! MY EYEEEES!!!!!!!" Claire screamed.
Claire looked to see a machine gun whirring. She gasped, turned and ran past the two guards just in time. The guards didn't make it as they were pumped full of led (YAY!). Claire fell on her face, got up and started running again down the extremely long hallway as the chopper followed along side the window. It aimed at her and fired, she was able to keep just ahead of the fire until the chopper crashed into a telephone pole.
"Hahaha! Suckers!" She yelled as she continued running. She turned to see a stairs right in front of her. "AHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Claire tripped and fell down the stairs. She rolled back up and looked to see 100 bazillion soldiers aiming guns at her.
"Aw crackers....."
The soldiers started walking towards her. She looked behind them to see conveniently placed gas tanks. She grinned and raised her arms up. She did some weird John Woo move, which ended up with her falling on her ass. The gun landed on her hand and she fired at the tanks. They, of course, exploded and sent everyone flying. Claire landed in front of the stairs. She looked at the people lying there amongst the flames.
"My leg!" one guy yelled.
Claire got up and smiled. "I kick so much ass! ^_^"
She heard footsteps and looked up to stare down the barrel of a 14 Caliber Double MXP Handgun with Duel Shock pistol aimer thingys and a semi- automatic trigger thingy.
"Crap!"
"Don't move." The cool black dude with the best voice acting in the game said as he aimed his gun at her. Claire scratched her forehead, the guy shot in the air. "DON'T MOVE DAMNIT!!!!"
"._. Yes sir!" Claire yelled as she froze. The camera does a major close up on Claire's eye, and bumps into it. "OW!"
"Sorry!" The cameraman yelled.
It shows Claire on the ground on a prison cell in the darkness. You hear a rumbling sound as Claire gets up and stares at the bars of the cell. She put her hands on the bars and hit her head on them in aggravation. She heard shuffling sounds and looks to see someone walking through the door.
"AHHHHHH!!! ZOMBIE!!!!!!" Claire screamed as she jumped back and started hyperventilating. The guy sweatdropped and stood in front of the cell, yes, just stood there. Claire sweatdropped. "It's hard to see, I should get my lighter out because I cant see and it's hard to see and the light will make it easier to see." She whispered to herself. She pulled her lighter out of her item list box thingy and turned it on to stare into the face of that same guy who caught her. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" the guy yelled.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" they both yelled. The guy opened the door, nodded, and walked to his chair. He sat down and pulled out a medicine capsule.
"Perfect!" he yelled as he threw the medicine on the floor in aggravation. "Go on! Get out! This place is finished! I dunno, it musta been a Special Forces team. But in any case this prison's been taken over. Our soldiers got distracted by something shiny."
"What are you saying?" Claire asked.
"You're free to leave, but you might as well know you're most likely not getting outta here alive."
"What about you? What are you going to do?"
"I'm gonna stay here and sit on my ass until a self destruct system is activated or something."
"How about we work together like Rebecca and Billy did in Resident Evil Zero?"
"No, I'm tired and I wanna sleep. Goodnight. Wake me up at 5." He said as he fell asleep and started snoring immediately. "Zzzzzzzzzz!"
"Hello?" Claire asked.
"Zzzzzzz!"
"WAKE UP!!!!"
"AHHHHH!!!!!" The black dude jumped up again.
"Whoa, calm down."
"Sorry, it's just that the black guy always dies first..."
"Oh I understand." Claire said. "Oh, have you seen my brother, about yay hi, short black spiky hair?"
"No, go awaaaaay!" he said annoyed. He immediately started snoring again. Claire sighed and looked around. She saw handgun bullets on the chair and picked them up.
"Handgun Bullets. Take it? Yes." She said to herself as she put it in her item pocket thingy. She looked on the floor and read the capsule. "H...h...homicidal...medicine?" she asked as she tried to read the label. "Okay then. I better get some homicidal medicine for him, or not. Oh well." Claire looked on the desk and read the paper. It was a boring report thing so she just skipped to the part that had her name in it.
'Claire Redfield: Likes to eat cheese'
"How did they know?" Claire asked. "HOW DID THEY KNOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!???????"
"Shhhh! I'm trying to sleep!" the black guy said.
"Sorry." Claire said. She looked at the paper again.
'Name of the black guy standing next to you: Rodrigo Juan Raval'
"Ooooooaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Claire said as she looked at him. She looked next to the paper to see a knife. She picked it up. "Combat Knife. Take it? Yes-No. Yes." She put it in her pocket. She looked at the door leading out of the room. "Okay, I bet this door will lead to many hallways and stupid puzzles that'll get me the hell outta here." Claire sighed, opened the door, and walked out.
Yeah, I know. It's short, but it'll get better! Please R&R! Thanks!