Hogwarts- With Sugar!
Author's Note: This is for METMA Mandy's challenge, here are the requirements:
- Someone has to say "I'm NOT a clock!"
- Someone must say "z'yanta parah" (which is hebrew for "he f*cked a cow")
- There must be someone with a prosthesis (a fake limb)
- A crazy bludger must be present
- Someone must believe they are a talk show host. buuut… they can't be actually AT a talk show.
- Someone must say "I love Voldemort" BUT- they can't be a death eater, death eater sympathizer, AND it can't be sarcastic! (I know that IS hard…)
- Hermione has to wear a Metallica shirt. (Heh.)
And finally,
- It has to be funny. At least semi-funny!
O-tay. On with the fiiic!
Really annoying narrator voice: It was a completely normal day at Hogwarts. Well, at least it was until now. This is when AIT shows up to wreak havoc upon the entire world, using the power that is-- SUGAR HIGH-NESS! Ha!
Me: *walks on and turns off narrator's mike* Anyhoozles, this is An Invisible Tomorrow, with another edition of The AIT Show! And now, let's talk to Harry Potter!
*Harry runs past me being pursued by an insane Bludger.*
Harry: Going to… kill… Dobby… crazy Bludger… honestly…………
Me: O-kay. It appears that Mr. Potter is- um- busy. Soooo…
Percy: Um, AIT, this is not a talk show. This is the Great Hall.
Me: Percy! I've heard rumors about a long-lost Weasley brother. Whatever happened to him?
Percy: Z'yanta parah.
Me: O-kay then, that's nice. *walks away muttering scarred for life, scarred for life, scarred for life…*
Dumbledore: Oh, hello. What are you doing here?
Me: WREAKING HAVOC! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *snaps out of it* Anyhoo, people have been throwing around rumors of a romance between you and Prof. McGonagall. We'd all like to know, who do you really love?
Dumbledore: I LOVE VOLDEMORT!!!!!!!
Me: Okies, I am seriously scared now.
Sirius: What?
Me: Huh? OHMYGOD! Sirius Black! *shoves a microphone in his face* How does it feel to be a convicted- er- clock?
Sirius: I'm NOT a clock!!!!!! *runs away*
Me: Dratsies! *sits on the ceiling*
Hermione: *joins me on the ceiling* Hi! I got a new hairdo, like it? *shows off bright purple, spiky hair*
Me: *stares*
Hermione: What? Did I spill something on my shirt?
Me: *looks at Hermione's Metallica shirt* Nope.
Hermione: Oh, okay. Gotta go find Ron now! *jumps off the ceiling and runs off*
Me: Nobody wants to be on my talk show!
Malfoy: This is not a talk show, you stupid Mudblood!
Me: *triple-backflips off the ceiling* What did you call me?
Malfoy: *backs away hastily* N-nothing! Oh, noooooo…
Me: *blows smoke off her delete key* Works like a charm.
Ron: Hi, AIT. What are you doing?
Me: Deleting annoying people. I was doing a talk show, but nobody wants to be on it.
Ron: Ooohhhhh. I get it. Seen Hermi anywhere?
Me: She went thatta-way. *points*
Ron: Thanks. *leaves*
Me: Hey, what do this be? *picks up a toe* Ohmygod, it's Malfoy's fake toe! (A/N: Read "How To Defeat Mary Sues.) *tosses it over her shoulder* Well, he's deleted, guess he won't need that anymore.
Ron: Hi AIT. I can't find Hermione anywhere!
Me: *sarcasm* Oh no, I guess you'll just have to come with me, what a tragedy! *drags Ron off to who-knows-where*
Lockhart: I am the Great Popsicle! Bow before me!!!! *runs off laughing insanely*
Another A/N: That was insane, no? I think so. Oui.
Claimer: I own myself, my microphone, the AIT Show, Malfoy's fake toe, "How To Delete Mary Sues," and my delete key.
Disclaimer: JK owns everything HP-related. Metallica owns themselves but Hermione owns their shirt. The "Scarred for life, scarred for life, scarred for life…" thingy belongs to me and my friend Carol 'cuz we always say that. So there! *sticks out tongue*
A/N: If you do not review I will whack you around the head with a grand piano and then use your hair to fix my cello bow! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!