Put on the Stone Mask

by Sombra de Severus

Minerva's second year of teaching, she has a particularly withdrawn student named Severus. A story about Severus's childhood. (Largely influenced by H. L. B.'s story, And Yet He Flinched.)

1. The Stone Mask

            A/N: Been meaning to do this for a long time! So without any further ado……

            Thanks for the idea! I was inspired by And Yet He Flinched, by H. L. B. Check it out! I hope I haven't treaded on your toes, but I have been thinking about a Snape-as-a-kid fic for a while, and your gave me just such inspiration!

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            Professor McGonagall looked out over her class. She was young, bright, and it was only her second year of teaching! She looked out at the first years who had arrived just last night. Smiling, she started memorizing faces and names. Everyone seemed a bit nervous, especially a dark-haired boy who sat in the back.

            Severus Snape… she read off the roster.

            Oh well, some children were just shyer than others.

            She began the class, and introduced herself as the Transfiguration teacher.

            "Does anyone have any questions?" she asked.

            Severus raised his hand.

            "Yes Severus?"

            "What do we do in this class?" he asked softly.

            The class burst out laughing. It had never crossed her mind that a child wouldn't know what transfiguration was. She checked her roster. He was wizard born, too!  What parent wouldn't teach there child about transfiguration?

            The class continued to laugh at him, and he looked at his hands.

            "Never mind…" he said very, very softly.

            "We transfigure things in this class. That means we turn them from one thing to another, such as turning a shoe into a flower, or vice-versa."

            Severus looked a bit less nervous, now that he knew what the class was about.

            They began with the first lesson. She taught them how to wave their wand in a way that would turn a rock into dirt.

            The children set to work, each one concentrating intensely. One boy had it immediately, and sat with his hands folded staring at the wall blankly.

            There's one in every year… She thought.

            The children's rocks seemed to be slowly getting softer, except for Severus. He was staring at his intently, biting his lip. His brow was furrowed, ad a tiny trickle of sweat ran down his forehead. With a sigh he sat back. He ran his hands through his hair and stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to try again.

            After forty minutes, the whole class was done except for Severus. They were chattering quietly while he concentrated.

            Professor McGonagall saw tears of frustration welling up in Severus's eyes. He blinked them away angrily. With a sigh, he relaxed into his chair.

            I hope he hasn't given up… She thought.

            For another five minutes he tried to change the rock, but with no prevail. Finally, he began to grit his teeth and growl softly. As he tried and nothing happened, the growl grew louder. Her was finally roaring, and when he was screaming, he grabbed the rock and began beating it against the table.

            "Why- won't- you- change- you- stupid- rock!!!!!!" He screamed between crushing blows to the table.(A/N: It was not my idea to have Severus suck at Transfigurations, but after reading a few fanfics with that theme, I fell in love with the idea. Thanx to whoever created it!)

            Minerva (A/N: Too hard to keep saying Professor McGonagall) ran over and grabbed Severus's hand, he dropped the rock and looked up at her fearfully. The table was a mess. The rock had dug deep, splintered grooves into it and there were shards of the rock embedded into it.

            Minerva looked at Snape, who was now cowering away from her. His head was down turned, he refused to make eye contact with her.

            "Severus! You can ask for help you know! Don't destroy things because you are having trouble! All you have to do is ask…" She said gently.

            He brought his hands in front of his face as if shielding himself.

            "I-I'm sorry… I really am… please… I'm sorry…" he said.

            He seemed to be pleading, begging. But for what? She thought. Her eyebrows lifted a few inches. Did he think she was going to HURT him?

            "It's ok Severus, just don't do it again. Next time, ask me for help." The bell rang, and the class left. Except for Severus. He seemed to be waiting for something.

            "What is it, Severus?" Minerva asked.

            "Aren't you going to punish me?" he asked.

            "No, it's all right. Go along now, before you're late!" she said.

            He looked surprised and confused for a moment, but hurriedly grabbed his bag and left.

            Minerva's eyes wandered to the table. She stared at the huge, deep grooves in the wood. How did one boy, especially one as small as Severus, manage to do THAT?

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            The next day, Minerva looked forward to seeing Severus in class. She wanted to watch him, see his behaviors. She wanted to be sure that he was an abused child before he brought the subject up with Albus. (A/N: No one really knows how long Albus has been headmaster, but I'm going to say that at least thirty years, which is approximately how old Snape is. I have no grounds for these, just personal opinion.)

            He seated himself quietly. He traced his finger along one of the many grooves in his desk. He didn't look at anyone, didn't talk to anyone. His hair was very tidy and his robes had not a wrinkle. Minerva found this admirable in such a young child.

            She patted him on the back as she walked by. At her touch, he drew away sharply and put his hands on the back of his head, as though to shield his skull.

            "I… I just wanted to say good luck today. Maybe you'll get the hang of it? I'm sorry I startled you…"

            Severus smiled shakily.

            What has that boy's parents DONE to him? I've never seen someone react that way to a pat on the back! Even children who have been abused haven't acted that way to me in the past!

            Minerva's thoughts were slow from shock. What on earth?!

            She began class. Today's assignment was to change a rock into sand, slightly different from yesterday's. She had to work in small increments.

            Severus seemed to work in much the same mannerism as the day before. Just as tears of frustration were beginning to form in his eyes, Minerva walked over. He was so concentrated he didn't notice her. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he yelped loudly.

            He looked confused for a moment, and blushed furiously as the class laughed at him.

            "Do you need some help, Severus?"

            He looked at her sideways, as if she must be joking.

            "No, I'm quite all right. Thank you." He said.

            She looked at him doubtfully.

            "Are you sure?" she said, furrowing her brow.

            "Yes, I am! Please… I don't want them to make fun of me! Besides, I can do it myself! I don't need help!" he said. An angry fire seemed to light up in his eyes. She nodded and walked back up to her desk. As she walked, she heard him softly say,

            "I don't need anyone's help. Not that they care, anyways…"

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            The Bell rang. Minerva was cleaning up when she saw Severus's sad little rock sitting on his desk. She walked over and picked it up. At least he hadn't attacked it this time. She smiled. He probably would have if she hadn't interrupted him.

            She looked at the desk, a dark line catching her eye. In childish handwriting, the letters "SS" were scrawled into the corner of the desk.

            SS. Severus Snape.

            She sighed. Anger problems AND defacing school property. What more could a teacher want?

            Well, I'm sure he must be abused. And badly, too.

            She remembered how he had shielded his head when she had patted him on the back.

            Without hesitation, she went to visit Albus.

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            "Minerva, I know it's hard for you to just sit by, but we have never had a complaint against the Snape family before! We may look into it, and possibly question his parents, but we can't take LEGAL action until something is proven." Albus rubbed his temples with his index fingers. (A/N: This is true! They can't take legal action unless something is proven.)

            "Albus, we have to do SOMETHING! For God's sake, he shielded his head when I patted him on the back! That's not something to be taken lightly!"

            "Of course not. I'll look into it. For now, don't pat him on the back anymore." Albus smiled wearily.

            Minerva sighed huffily and left the room.

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            Time flew by quickly. Soon, it was Christmas break. After watching Severus for a whole semester, Minerva was reluctant to let him go, he had shown several oddities that pointed to terrible abuse. And he still couldn't transfigure to save his life. The closest he had come, was to changing the shape of the pincushion, but not actually TURNING it into the hedgehog.

            Nevertheless, she had to let him leave. They still had no proof. It would come soon enough, though.

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            When holiday was over, the students were escorted back to school. On the welcome home feast, the first time the teachers had seen their students since break, Minerva looked towards the Slytherin table cautiously.

            There he was, Severus. Sitting alone as usual, nobody would talk to the small, unsocial boy. He was looking at his hands on the table, and being overall unresponsive.

            Minerva walked over to the table and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped slightly and looked up at her. An ugly bruise showed beneath his cheekbone, and a black eye was healing.

            "Lord, Severus! Are you alright? What happened?"

            Severus looked away. He couldn't seem to look at anything for longer than a few seconds, and his eyes darted around uneasily.

            "Erm.. I'm fine." He said.

            "What happened…?" Minerva asked.

            He glanced at her, then looked away. His hand came up to touch the bruise on his cheekbone.

            "I… um, well…"

            "Yes?" she thought maybe he would give her some evidence to have his family investigated.

            "Oh, well, I… I fell down the stairs." He looked at her, as if hoping she believed him.

            "Are you sure?" she knew it sounded silly, but she also knew he was lying.

            "Yes of course." He conjured up a small, airy chuckle. "Heh… you know how those old rickety staircases can be…"

            "No, tell me…"

            "Oh, you know. They just shake and twist all over the place. It's easy… it's easy to lose one's footing on it. And hey, falling down two flights of stairs is no party…" he smiled weakly.

            She smiled stiffly and walked back to the staff table.

            She shot a knowing glance at Dumbledore. He had seen her talking to the battered child. He shook his head and looked away sadly.

            She knew he would do something if he could.

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            After a while, his bruises healed and disappeared. But the scars in his mind wouldn't be so easy to get rid of. Every so often after a Hogsmeade visit, he would have a fat lip, or even cuts on his face and arms. Minerva finally alerted some wizard authorities. They told her they would investigate, but came up with nothing.

            "How can you come up with nothing? SOMEBODY is hurting the boy! He came back from Christmas vacation with a black eye, for god's sake!" She shouted at the Ministry officer.

            "We think he had just made a few rivals back home. Kids, I mean. All kids go through the fighting stage. It'll pass."

            "It's been going on for more than half a year!"

            "Some kids don't grow out of it for years! It's nothing to worry about, I promise."

            But it was.

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            Easter Break.

            Severus peeked through his bedroom door. A tiny finger of light pushed in and gently made it's way into his dark room. He brushed his hair out of his eyes. The hallway seemed clear. But was it really? You could never be sure. Not here, anyways. He wished he was at Hogwarts. In fact, he wished he never came home. The only civil being in his family was his brother. His mother ignored him and his father punished him.

            It's my own fault. Severus thought. I am just a naught child. A stupid child. And I shouldn't get in his way.

            He took a step out his door. It creaked a little and he paused. His eyes closed sharply, he waited for a hand to come down. None came. With a deep, muffled sigh, he began to tiptoe out of his room. It was a little after two am. His father kept the light on in the hallway so that if he caught Severus out after 9, he wouldn't be able to hide in the shadows. Severus made his way down the two flights of stairs. The kitchen gleamed ahead of him. A beacon of hope! Food…

            His stomach turned, but it didn't growl. His body had long ago found that a growling stomach meant punishment, especially if he wasn't supposed to be awake.

            He hadn't eaten in days. Ever since father came home and found Severus doing his homework in the living room.

            "No homework down here! I don't want to see your filthy idiot schoolwork! We all know you have no talent as a wizard! Take your things upstairs and come back down for your punishment!"

            Severus grabbed his books and ran upstairs. He stopped himself from heaving in terror. Fear was a weakness. Pain was a weakness. Show no pain, Severus, show no fear. Be strong. Put on the stone mask. He cannot hurt you, you are strong. He is the weak one.

            He came back downstairs. His father smiled cruelly, and prepared his favorite weapon of punishment.

            Severus bled for days before the wounds scabbed over.

            Severus listened at the kitchen door. Good! The house elf wasn't in there.

            He pushed the door open, just a little. He crept in, and opened the pantry door. He grabbed a bag of potato chips hungrily. Ripping it open, he ate a few handfuls.

            He reached in to get some more, but a hand grabbed his wrist.

            He looked up at his looming father.

            "You're not allowed out of your room after nine, boy. Go into the living room. It's time for your punishment."

            Severus walked out. His mind was alive, but filled with terror. He winced at the deep gashes across his back that had taken so long to scab. They would be re-opened tonight, and new ones added alongside them. They would probably get infected.

            He sighed.

            His father walked into the room.

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            Minerva was at the gate this time, when the children were taken off the train. She helped them into the carriages and made sure she rode in the one with Severus. He sat down uneasily, as he did every time he came back from a break. His face seemed overly-pale and very weary.

            Has he lost WEIGHT?! He looks at least twenty pounds lighter than before he left, and he is a skinny boy as it is!

            His face seemed to mask over as he sat down. Minerva wasn't looking directly at him, but she noticed that his face had shifted from weary to absolutely neutral with no emotion displayed, as he had sat down.

            When he was situated, he shifted uncomfortably in the seat every few minutes. He scratched his back, and his face went neutral.

            He felt a searing pain when he had scratched. The deep black scabs across his back itched, but when he scratched them, they hurt like nothing the other children had to feel. Of course, he had felt them before, they weren't uncommon.

            Mask of Stone, Severus… he thought to himself.

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            It was warm! Spring had come, and it was a beautiful Sunday. Nobody was going to Hogsmeade today, though, they were staying to swim in the lake. However, a few of the students began to tease the giant squid, and they were all banished from the lake.

            Dumbledore knew, though, that if he just told them they couldn't, the naughtier kids would go into the lake anyways, so he zapped the Quidditch field into a huge swimming pool that would disappear once classes began again tomorrow.

            Severus sat by the edge of the pool. He took off his shoes and dangled them into the water. He couldn't go in.

            Besides… he thought… I don't like to swim anyways.

            He lied, even to himself.

            His feet moved with the waves of the splashing kids. He laid back and stared up at the clouds.

            Donkey… Telephone… Circus tent… broomstick… hippopotamus…

            "Severus! Hey, Severus!"

            Severus sat up quickly to his name being called. For a split instant his mind was wild with fear, but he remembered that he was at Hogwarts and his senses calmed. He looked out to see a Gryffindor boy in his year out there. The boy squinted at him, he wasn't wearing his glasses. In the water, the boy's messy black hair stood up even more so than before. The boy's name was… what was it? James Potter! Oh yes, that's his name.

            Severus had some classes with him. He waved at the boy. The boy grinned and waded over to him

            "Hey, come on in!" he said. "Really, the water's as warm as can be, and you must be sweltering in those black robes!"

            Severus smiled at the boy. He wished he could.

            "Oh, that's alright. I don't… I don't care to swim. But thank you anyways." He said softly.

            "Aw, c'mon! You can't hate swimming that much! And besides, I'll bet you aren't so quiet when you are having fun!" James smiled broadly.

            "No, really. I'm alright. I don't like to swim."

            James shrugged.

            "Okay then. Suit yourself. But don't say I didn't ask you!" James swam away.

            Severus heard some rustling behind him. He looked over to see two other Gryffindor boys, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Remus frowned. "How come you don't want to hang out with James? He went out of his way to talk to you!"

            "It's not that I don't. I just don't like to swim is all." Severus said softly.

            "Aw, C'mon!" Sirius smiled.

            "No, I don't like to swim." Severus said each word separately, as if it would help them to understand him more.

            The two boys ran up and each grabbed one of his arms. They hoisted him up roughly. He kicked his feet out to catch his balance. He felt one of the gashes on his back re-opening with their roughness. Pain made his mind dull.

            They smiled at him, and he saw their faces in a blur.

            "Please…" he said weakly. "No, don't, please…"

            They looked at each other, smiled, and threw him into the pool. The pain was unbearable. As he had hit the bottom, all of the dozen or so gashes on his back had cracked open and the chlorinated water has pushed its way into the raw skin below.

            He managed to pull himself out of the pool, crawling on the muddy grass.

            He heard in his ears a high pitched scream. He couldn't see, the pain was so bad. If there was something worse than the pain of being punished, it was this. Chlorine in the wound. The scream got louder and hoarser. He looked around to see what was making it, but his eyes were dark and foggy from pain and pool water. He couldn't stand up.

            He felt himself slowly curl into a ball.

            With a jolt he realized that his mouth was open. He tried to close it, but something was pushing it open. It was then that he realized the scream was coming from him.

            NO YOU FOOL! He screamed in his mind. NO! DON'T SHOW THE PAIN! DON'T LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE IN PAIN! YOU'RE WEAK! YOU WEAK, WEAK FOOL!

            But no matter how he screamed in his mind, he could not halt the scream from his mouth. He was screaming loudly, loudly. Kids stopped what they were doing, as did teachers who happened to be outside. They all looked towards the tiny huddle on the ground. Wet, shuddering, and curled in a ball. The scream coming from it was unbearable.

            Remus and Sirius looked at it, horrified. What had they done?!

            Severus tried to move. He slowly uncurled himself, and tried to crawl away. He could not halt the scream. He couldn't even feel it. But he could hear it, God he could hear it. Louder and more horrible than anyone.

            As he moved, he felt the wounds on his back rubbing onto themselves, and electric pains shot through him. He had never felt something so terribly painful in his life. Even his father had never punished him in such a way.

            Finally, the pain of the re-birth of thirteen bloody gashes on his back became too great. Everything went black.

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            Teachers crowded around the unconscious student. He sat in a wet heap on the ground. His hair was plastered to his face, which was twisted into an expression of pure agony. To their horror and disgust, blood began to seep across the ground from him.

            The students screamed and Remus and Sirius just stood there in shock.

            There was a LOT of blood. McGonagall ran up, and shooed the students away. She checked his head for wounds, but that's not where they were coming from. She turned him over and lifted up the back of his robes. There was blood covering the entire back of his shirt and pants (which he was wearing underneath). She gasped softly and removed the robes completely. He was still unconscious, but he was breathing.

            The students had inched forward so they could see, even though they had been told to leave.

            Minerva pulled his shirt off and gasped loudly. Many of the students screamed. Covering his back were terribly deep, painful-looking gashes. They seemed to have been re-opened, and blood was positively POURING from them.

            She conjured up a stretcher quickly, and placed the limp boy's body on it. His head lolled to one side. The face had relaxed, and it looked more peaceful than Minerva had ever seen it before. She folded up his robes and the t-shirt he had been wearing and placed the in a small basket on the end of the stretcher.

            Dear god… she thought. He can't weigh more than seventy pounds…

            He was still bleeding profusely, and it was beginning to drip through the cloth bottom of the stretcher.

            A very shaken-up teacher pushed the stretcher towards the school jerkily. He nearly tripped, and when they realized this, they sent another teacher to help him.

            The students were standing in utter mesmerized silence. Some of the first years were crying. Who had done that to a small boy like Severus?

            They couldn't comprehend that his father had 'punished' him. Remus and Sirius stood together, completely isolated from the rest of the school. Slowly, they walked forward. They were looking at the teachers in utter confusion. The teachers walked away. They had no more answers than the students did.

            Remus watched them walk away. Slowly, his eyes moved the large pool of blood on the ground.

            It was deep red…

            He walked over. Slowly, he kneeled down and touched it. It was still warm.

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