Haha... a oneshot fic on the four guys from Hunter X Hunter. This idea's been bugging me constantly for the past week and I just had to get it out. Enjoy (I'm actually kinda itching to write more on these 4, so I might/might not change this into a drabble collection.)
Disclaimer: Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio do not belong to me.
Setting: Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio are living together for awhile. Kurapika's being the mom of the house and he's not amused.
'Oi! Gon! Killua! What happened to the food?' Kurapika yelled out, standing beside the open and dismally empty refrigerator, looking positively livid.
'Err… Killua demanded an eating contest yesterday, so…' Gon inched away from the seething blond teenager. The little broom headed boy didn't need to use Gyou to know that the Kuruta was emitting Nen with the intention to kill.
Kurapika closed the refrigerator door and slowly approached Gon. 'So?'
'S-so we… endedupeatingeverything!' Gon finished his sentence and rushed behind the sofa for cover.
Kurapika closed his eyes, mentally counted to ten before opening them. In fourteen calculated strides, he reached the bathroom and pulled the protesting Killua out by the ear.
'O-ow! Let go! My ear! OW!!' Normally, the white-haired ex-assassin would have never allowed himself to be put in a situation like this, but then again, one doesn't normally piss off a Kuruta.
'We are going grocery shopping now.' Kurapika said, danger lacing every word. 'Killua, you will bring your card. I'm going to charge everything on you. Go get dressed, now!'
The two boys dashed into the bedroom, determined to lie low under the radar for now, if that was possible. They had quickly learnt that an angry Kuruta is a scary Kuruta. Leorio peeked out of the newspaper that he was pretending to be reading. Kurapika turned slowly towards him. 'You too, Leorio.'
'Why me? I'm not the one who did it. Besides, I'm busy.' Leorio went back to his newspaper. But a few moments later, he put it down with a resigned sigh. Kurapika had glared hard enough to almost burn holes through the innocent paper. 'Why must I go? I'm not the one who finished the food, besides, I did the stocking the previous week…' he grumbled as he made his way to his bedroom.
'I STOCKED THE FRIDGE TWO DAYS AGO! AND TODAY IT'S EMPTY AGAIN, LIKE IT WAS, TWO FRIGGIN' DAYS BEFORE THAT, AND ANOTHER TWO DAYS PRECEDING THAT!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED…' Leorio quickly dodged into the room and shut the door but he could still hear Kurapika screaming bloody murder. He should've kept his mouth shut.
Despite their previous reluctance, Gon and Killua had already sprinted into the supermarket before Kurapika reached the trolleys. Gesturing for Leorio to take charge of the cart, Kurapika stalked into the mart. Leorio sighed. On their way here, Kurapika had fumed silently in the front passenger seat, completely freaking Gon and Killua out. Although he felt that the blondie was over-reacting, he could understand Kurapika's reasons for being angry. Who wouldn't, when the two younger boys can devour a fridge and three cupboards worth of food in less than two days. From the medical point of view, Gon and Killua should have died from over-eating several times by now, but some things just can't be explained with logic. Kurapika had been tasked to do the cooking for the four of them, since Leorio had no talent to speak of in the kitchen, Killua tended to overuse the knives, mincing every single ingredient and Gon had nearly blown himself up in an attempt to turn on the stove. With two boys who had black holes for a stomach, food vanished at such a quick rate that Kurapika had no choice but to visit the supermarket almost daily for the past month, to the point that everyone in the mart knew Kurapika by name.
Leorio found Kurapika at the vegetables section and watched with increasing horror as the diminutive blond proceeded to load the trolley with nothing but health food. Artichokes, broccoli, brussels sprouts, celery, radishes, spinach, leek… to name a few. To eat healthily is one thing but becoming a vegetarian is another matter all together.
'Uh… Kurapika? What's with the all the greens?'
'The boys can't cook, so they can't have an eating competition with only vegetables.' Kurapika answered as he tossed a bagful of mushrooms over his shoulder.
'But…' Leorio picked up from the growing pile in the trolley, a pale green ball with spike-like things sticking out of it. 'Is this thing even edible?'
Kurapika spared him a look of exasperation as he dropped a packet of baby corn into the cart. 'If it's not for human consumption, it wouldn't be sold in a supermarket catered for humans, will it?'
'Yeah… but…' Leorio continued to ogle at the green ball in his hands, expecting it to suddenly grow legs and arms. 'What is it even called?'
'Kohlrabi.' Kurapika was throwing bell peppers into the trolley.
'….what?'
'It's a type of cabbage.' Tomatoes were now tumbling into the ridiculously green cart.
Leorio eyed the trolley. 'Okay.' He hooked Kurapika's collar with one finger and dragged him from the vegetables section, expertly pushing the cart with another hand. 'That's more then enough.'
'But I haven't got the fruits!' Kurapika retorted as he freed himself with a calculated kick to Leorio's shin.
Leorio winced. 'It's enough. I'm not a vegetarian. You have enough for us to eat like monks for a week!'
'Fine.' Kurapika glanced at Leorio's watch. 'It's getting late, where did those two go?'
'There.' Leorio pointed down the aisle. Gon and Killua were running towards them, arms overflowing with candy and snacks. Leorio could see Kurapika's blood pressure rising as quickly as the boys ran.
'Put all those back now.' Kurapika ordered.
'Why? There are no more snacks left at home.' Killua drawled as he dumped the sweets into the trolley.
Kurapika glowered at the two boys. 'You've eaten enough snacks to last you five lifetimes, put it back, now.'
'Gon, we forgot something!' Killua exclaimed, completely ignoring Kurapika.
'What?'
'Ice-cream!' Killua dashed off.
'Wait! Killuuaaaaa!' Gon chased after the white haired boy.
'Hey! You two…' Leorio put a hand on Kurapika's shoulder, interrupting him.
'Give it up.' Leorio laughed.
Kurapika sighed and they made their way to the frozen section.
'…what is this?' Kurapika asked as he picked up packaged slabs of meat, ham, sausages, countless tins of processed meat, frozen lasagna and fries while unloading the trolley at the cashier's.
'Protein and carbohydrates is an essential part of our daily diet.' Leorio coughed pompously.
'And this is part of our daily diet?' Kurapika shoved two six-packs that Leorio sneaked into the trolley at the offending man.
'Uh….'
'Whatever. I give up.' Kurapika walked off.
'Hey! Where are you going?' Gon asked.
'To wait by the car. Killua is paying and you guys can carry those by yourself.'
Leorio, Gon and Killua looked at the thirty bags at their feet and yelled together. 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!'
Two days later...
'KILLUA! GON! LEORIO!' Kurapika screamed from the kitchen.
'What is it?' Leorio asked warily. Gon and Killua edged behind the taller man.
Kurapika drew a deep shuddering breath. 'What-happened-to-the-food...?'
'Uh...' Leorio nudged Killua and whispered. 'I told you he'd get angry.'
Killua glared back and hissed. 'You ended up joining in too!'
'Joining what?' Kurapika demanded.
Gon, the ever honest and innocent boy decided to confess. 'Actually, yesterday we... we had a competition...'
'What kind of competition would use vegetables?' Kurapika asked in a dangerous monotone, sounding remarkably like Illumi.
'A-a competition... by blending all the vegetables and daring each other to drink it.' Gon replied, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger.
As was his habit, Kurapika closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten. But this time...
'KILLUA! LEORIO!' Kurapika went for the chopper.
'WHY ONLY US?!' The two guys fled the house.
Ah ha ha ha... I just loved the idea of Kurapika taking up the role of being a mom. I'm aware Kurapika here is slightly out of character. But then again... maybe not...