A/N: Well, the plot bunnies struck again. This time I addressed a question that I have had for a long time: why doesn't Voldemort have a nose? I was inspired by the scene in the movie version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone where you see Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head and he actually has a nose. This is meant to be humorous so there may be a little bit of OOCness for both Harry and Voldemort. Also, the Doctor Who and Sherlock plot bunnies snuck up and threw references to their shows in here. I was helpless to do anything about it; everyone knows that the plot bunnies are vicious and don't take no for an answer.

Warning: Implied character death, although if you are reading this then I am going to assume that you have read or watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. To clarify: SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.

Useless FANfiction Disclaimer: I am not blonde. My first name does not start with a J and my last name does not start with an R. I have not published any books. I was not born on the 31st of July during the year 1965. I am not famous. In case you do not understand, I DO NOT own Harry Potter.

Summary: Harry and Voldemort have one last chat in the Forbidden Forest. Harry asks an important question.

Questions and Noselessness

17-year-old Harry Potter went to meet Lord Voldemort AKA Tom Marvolo Riddle in the Forbidden Forest. He was going to his death, but he wanted to ask Voldemort a question that had been bothering him for a long time.

He said to Voldemort, "I have a question to ask you."

Voldemort responded with, "Are you wondering why I haven't died? Or perhaps why I keep Lucius, Severus, and Wormtail around even though they are useless? Or maybe-"

Harry cut him off, "While those are great questions, they are not what I wanted to know. I wanted to ask you: why don't you have a nose?"

Voldemort thought for a moment, "Well it was at the graveyard-you know, where I got a new body?-anyway, I was in the cauldron while Wormtail was adding the other ingredients, and I heard this voice asking me what I wanted to look like. I decided that I wanted to look like a snakeish human, in honor of Salazar Slytherin. When I came out, I looked like I do now. Then my minions gave me weird looks when they thought that I wasn't watching them. It wasn't until later, when I had access to a mirror, that I realized that I had no nose. I was rather upset until I realized that without a nose, I wouldn't have to smell anything. Do you know how bad those Death Eaters smell? It also muted the tastes of the nasty foods that my minions attempted to make for me."

"But Quirrell-mort had a nose."

"Yes, and I suppose that was one of the deciding factors in not going to a healer."

"What do you mean?"

"One word: Troll."

"Oh."

"Oh, yes. That thing was repulsive. The smell lingered on Quirrell for weeks afterwards; no matter how many times he took a bath, the smell stayed."

"That's horrid. I feel bad for you. I mean, I thought that Ron smelled bad after being in the same room with it. And don't even get me started on my wand."

At a curious look from Voldemort, Harry added, "It went up the troll's nose."

"Speaking of wands…"

"Yes, I suppose we should get on with it?"

"Any last words?"

"It was so nice to have had a proper chat."

"Spent a little time with the Doctor?"

"Sherlock is awesome. Oh, and to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

"Well, we agree on the first one, at least. Avada Kedavra!"