Severus is feeling Depressed
Chapter 1-Depressed thoughts
It was a warm day, the wind was brisk and soothing across his face. His eyes scanned the horizon taking in the view from the edge of the lake. He viewed the stone of the castle and the bluffs on which it stood.
He felt less pressure while sitting here on this side of the lake. His desire to be left alone was great.
No one really cared what could happen to him, he was just one of life's cast-offs.
His eyes closed and he listened to the sound of the slow slapping of the waves on the shore beneath him.
The sound was soothing to his tortured soul as he sat there on the ground, his legs drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees.
Severus was depressed, as for the umpteenth time when he tried to correct young Harry Potter for disobeying the school rules he was overruled by Albus Dumbledore. The boy was supposed to be the one to destroy Voldemort when he was older but Severus could not for the life of him see how. Harry refused to obey the rules set down for the safety of those residing in the castle.
Without the self discipline Severus felt Harry had to be taught there was going to be needless tragedy with many useful lives wasted.
' I wonder why Albus keeps giving Harry the idea that he isn't responsible for the consequences of his actions.'
'I know made a serious mistake myself when I listened to Lucius and joined Voldemorts death Eaters and l will pay for that the rest of my miserable existence. Nobody cared enough to prevent me from making my mistakes.
"I wonder what Albus had in mind by not wanting Harry to face discipline. Cannot Albus see the other students were beginning to despise the boy ? Even Granger and Weasley have occasionally turned their backs on Potter.'
'If only he didn't look so much like his d---ed father, I could stand him better myself, if it wasn't for his mother Lily's eyes looking out of that face I would upchuck the job of keeping an eye on that annoyance . He should by rights be Minervas pain not mine . He is a Griffindor after all.
But no, Albus expects me to play the heavy which makes me feel worse.'
" Sorry professor I didn't see you there."
Severus looked up quickly not expecting anybody to have come over to this desolated piece of land.
It was Potter, it figured, even here the boy would intrude on his thoughts.
Harry stood there with his broom in hand as he had come away from the castle to get away from his thoughts and here was the one person he really didn't want to be near, yet Snape looked so vulnerable sitting there not even noticing Harry till spoken to. That wasn't Professor Snape's style of behavior was it?
Severus thought 'I should say something l suppose but whats the use i'll only get in trouble from Albus so I won't speak to Potter at all.'
Severus motioned for the boy to sit down and then ignored him while still looking out across the lake.
Harry sat down a little bit away from the Professor and watched him and wondered why he felt an empathy for this man he despised and who he felt despised him back.
Harry thought he knew why Snape hated him so and had come to accept it. It was because he looked like his father and he knew they didn't get along in school.
He thought he had enjoyed seeing Snape, taken down by Albus each time he tried to discipline him but now seeing the professor just sitting there not saying a word, nor moving a muscle made Harry feel even more depressed than he was when he decided to fly over to this deserted stretch of land.
He knew the other students didn't like him, 'The Boy Who Lived' and that was only because of his mothers Love protecting him that he survived. Hermione and Ron were not pleased with him either. He knew he should obey the rules yet he felt that he had to be the Hero and do what he thought was needed to be done at that moment, so why did he feel so empty?
The pair of them sat there together, but not together each in their own thoughts till it was time to head back to the castle.