{ P oint L e s s . . .
For a moment, Nigredo cut himself off from Rubedo for what was supposed to be a moments of peace. Yet it was nothing but sheer agony. RubedoxNigredo
{Comments ; ; Very quick piece of work.
He was too close. Yet too far away. Nigredo needed it. Him. The privacy. His brother at his side. Inside. His hands. He closed off his mental link; broke it away from his older brother.
It felt cold. Empty. Nothingness. Worse than he thought. He was the blackness of the night without its star. And what is the point of space, holding everything like a warm blanket, when there is no life within it . . .?
But he reminded himself – forced himself – that he needed the space. For one moment. Selfish moment of physical need he'd never felt before. The heated droplets of the shower's water splashed against his stone cold skin. Flesh and nothing more.
The touches of his own hands exploring places they never had done before meant nothing to him. The physical side of life meant nothing. Was this how Rubedo felt after the loss of his Albedo so many years ago . . . ? But he carried on. Ignored the scratching of Rubedo's desperate – worried – scratching against the inside of his hard skull; pushed his way into the astounding explosion. The feelings were bitter. Empty. Everything was physical, his world, yet without his brother in his mind he still couldn't feel. His hands moved more as his head pushed against the white, cold, wet tiles; feeling dirt grow within his mind from the wants of a human body. He felt what it was to be human; no emotional connections so deep within him it felt physical; no caring brother so deep inside of him he would never be lonely. Feeling only something upon his flesh along with his decaying thoughts from the overpowering touches emitting from his skin.
Thoughts distracted from himself, yet they flashed within his head. Rubedo. Albedo. Citrine even. Numbers; hundreds yet only one mind; all of which he had cut himself off from. It all fell from him as his chest ached and a noise came from his mouth. The explosion of the ache that he knew was supposed to be magnificent, was nothing but pain. His loneliness stabbing into him a thousand times as his first orgasm over came the old teenager. He felt his knees collapse beneath him from the abyss of darkness; nothingness but Nigredo, Nigredo, Nigredo; the darkness of what his name truly meant. It was like an inwards explosion; causing him to teeter on the edge of crying out for his brother; his sister; his mind.
When his body stopped shaking furiously, he re-opened the mental communication link he had practiced for years to learn how to close and cried into the showers warm water.
The familiar voice within his mind was more amazing than the foreign few minutes he had alone;
"Nigredo . . .?"
And without his hands or physical touches he was whole again, knowing Rubedo was all he needed; knowing he was a U.R.T.V and though that hurt, it was one of the most amazing things he could have ever been.
For he knew he was pointless only on his own.