I was watching how the grinch stole christmas and got inspired, i know
christmas is still a wee ways away but, it was fun to write :)
Discalaimer thingy: This story (how the grinch stole christmas) is originally by dr seuss, draco malfoy, hogwarts and all that stuff belongs to j.k. rowling, my crazy, messed up mind belongs to me, and if ya wannna sue me, go ahead your only gonna get 1 dollar and 40 cents :p
How Draco Malfoy Stole Christmas Retold and Totally Messed Up By: Milbo Every student down in Hogwarts, liked Christmas alot...... But Draco Malfoy, Who was in Slytherin house, Did NOT! Draco Malfoy hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his robes were too tight. But I think the most likely reason of all, may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his robes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating everyone else, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Drakey frown, At the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every student down in Hogwarts beneath, Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath. "And they're hanging their stockins!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Malfoy fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to keep Christmas from coming!" For, Tomorrow, he knew... ...All the Students girls and boys, Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then all the students, witchs and wizards (yeah, and the teachers), would sit down to feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST FEAST FEAST They would feast on Choclolate-pudding, and rare Griffin-roast-beast, Which was something Draco couldn't stand in the least!And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all! Every student down in Hogwarts, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. Thet'd stand hand -in -hand. And the students would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more Draco thought of this Who-Christmas -Sing, The more Draco thought, "I must stop this whole thing! "Why, for seven years I've put up with it now! "I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!
.....But HOW?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! DRAKEY GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" Draco laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and chuckled, "What a great Malfoy trick! With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is a reindeer..." Draco looked around. But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the evil git...? No! Draco simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his owl, Avada. Then he took some red thread, And he tied a big horn on top of his head. THEN, He loaded some old empty sacks, On a ramshackle sleigh, And hitched up old Avada. Then Draco said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started moving, towards the dorms where the students lay a-snooze in their town. All their wiindows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the students were all dreaming sweet dreams without care. When he came to the first house, Hufflepuff. "This is stop number one," the old Drakey Claus hissed, And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch. But, if Santa could do it, then so could Draco. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head ou of the fireplace flue, Where the little Hufflepuffs stockings all hung in a row. "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasent, Around the whole room, he took every present! Wizards chess! And brooms! Books! Chocolate Bars! Bertie Botts! Owls! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then Draco, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! [pic] Then he slunk to the kitchens. He took the students' feast! He took the Students-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Malfoy even took their last can of Wizard mash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW!" grinned Drakey, "I will stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove, When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Hufflepuff! Little Cindy-Lou, who was not more than year 2. Draco had been caught by this tiny Hufflepuff, Who'd got out of bed to get a cup of cold water. She stared at Drakey and said, "Santy Claus, why, "Why are you taking our Christmas tree! WHY?"
But, you know, Draco was so smart and so sly, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. "I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and sent her to bed. And when Cindy-Lou went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Then the last thing he took, was the log from their fire! Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar, On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food, That he left in Hufflepuff house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then, He did the same thing to the other houses (griffindor, ravenclaw, and yes, slytherin too). Leaving crumbs to small for the other mouses! It was a quarter past dawn..... All the Students, still a-bed, All the Students, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Magic, He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-Pooh to every one else!" he was draco-ish- ly humming. They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then whole of Hogwarts will cry BOO-HOO!" "That's a noise," grinned Draco, "That I simply MUST hear!" So he paused. And Draco put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started out low, then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY! He stared down at Hogwarts! Drakey popped open his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking suprise!
Every student down in Hogwarts, the tall and the small, Was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other it came just the same! And Draco, with his Drakey-feet ice cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could this be so? "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzle was sore. Then Draco thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas....perhaps.....means a little bit more!" And what happened then....? Well....in Hogwarts they say, That Draco's small heart, Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light, And he brought back the toys! and the food and the feast! And He.... HE HIMSELF....! Draco carved the roast beast!
Well, what do ya think hate it?, love it?, want a pet lobster?, tell me :)
Discalaimer thingy: This story (how the grinch stole christmas) is originally by dr seuss, draco malfoy, hogwarts and all that stuff belongs to j.k. rowling, my crazy, messed up mind belongs to me, and if ya wannna sue me, go ahead your only gonna get 1 dollar and 40 cents :p
How Draco Malfoy Stole Christmas Retold and Totally Messed Up By: Milbo Every student down in Hogwarts, liked Christmas alot...... But Draco Malfoy, Who was in Slytherin house, Did NOT! Draco Malfoy hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his robes were too tight. But I think the most likely reason of all, may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his robes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating everyone else, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Drakey frown, At the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every student down in Hogwarts beneath, Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath. "And they're hanging their stockins!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Malfoy fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to keep Christmas from coming!" For, Tomorrow, he knew... ...All the Students girls and boys, Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then all the students, witchs and wizards (yeah, and the teachers), would sit down to feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST FEAST FEAST They would feast on Choclolate-pudding, and rare Griffin-roast-beast, Which was something Draco couldn't stand in the least!And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all! Every student down in Hogwarts, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. Thet'd stand hand -in -hand. And the students would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more Draco thought of this Who-Christmas -Sing, The more Draco thought, "I must stop this whole thing! "Why, for seven years I've put up with it now! "I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!
.....But HOW?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! DRAKEY GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" Draco laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and chuckled, "What a great Malfoy trick! With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is a reindeer..." Draco looked around. But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the evil git...? No! Draco simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his owl, Avada. Then he took some red thread, And he tied a big horn on top of his head. THEN, He loaded some old empty sacks, On a ramshackle sleigh, And hitched up old Avada. Then Draco said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started moving, towards the dorms where the students lay a-snooze in their town. All their wiindows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the students were all dreaming sweet dreams without care. When he came to the first house, Hufflepuff. "This is stop number one," the old Drakey Claus hissed, And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch. But, if Santa could do it, then so could Draco. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head ou of the fireplace flue, Where the little Hufflepuffs stockings all hung in a row. "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasent, Around the whole room, he took every present! Wizards chess! And brooms! Books! Chocolate Bars! Bertie Botts! Owls! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then Draco, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! [pic] Then he slunk to the kitchens. He took the students' feast! He took the Students-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Malfoy even took their last can of Wizard mash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW!" grinned Drakey, "I will stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove, When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Hufflepuff! Little Cindy-Lou, who was not more than year 2. Draco had been caught by this tiny Hufflepuff, Who'd got out of bed to get a cup of cold water. She stared at Drakey and said, "Santy Claus, why, "Why are you taking our Christmas tree! WHY?"
But, you know, Draco was so smart and so sly, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. "I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and sent her to bed. And when Cindy-Lou went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Then the last thing he took, was the log from their fire! Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar, On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food, That he left in Hufflepuff house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then, He did the same thing to the other houses (griffindor, ravenclaw, and yes, slytherin too). Leaving crumbs to small for the other mouses! It was a quarter past dawn..... All the Students, still a-bed, All the Students, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Magic, He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-Pooh to every one else!" he was draco-ish- ly humming. They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then whole of Hogwarts will cry BOO-HOO!" "That's a noise," grinned Draco, "That I simply MUST hear!" So he paused. And Draco put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started out low, then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY! He stared down at Hogwarts! Drakey popped open his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking suprise!
Every student down in Hogwarts, the tall and the small, Was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other it came just the same! And Draco, with his Drakey-feet ice cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could this be so? "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzle was sore. Then Draco thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas....perhaps.....means a little bit more!" And what happened then....? Well....in Hogwarts they say, That Draco's small heart, Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light, And he brought back the toys! and the food and the feast! And He.... HE HIMSELF....! Draco carved the roast beast!
Well, what do ya think hate it?, love it?, want a pet lobster?, tell me :)