Hello friends. I know I have not updated anything in a while, but until I do update, I thought I'd post this little fic. This is... one of the most honest things I have written in a long time. This is very personal to me, more so than most of my writing.

This takes place after Aelita and Odd fake-kiss in Season Four. Also, it's slightly AU as I have given Odd a girlfriend.

Dedication: Limited Heart for being amazing and giving me the title for this fic. You are wonderful. :)

IMPORTANT NOTE: (2-7-09) I have edited this story to include lyrics (with titles) from various Ingrid Michaelson songs. Ingrid has been an amazing influence to this story and to my life in general. She is a amazing artist who deserves so much more attention than she has now. Do yourself a favor: if you like meaningful music with amazing lyrics and genuine emotion, listen to her songs (youtube has all of them, I think). For this story, I would suggest Corner of Your Heart as I consider it to be the underlying theme song.

Just to occupy one minute of your day. Just to sleep underneath your bed. Just to stay in the corner of your heart. –Corner of Your Heart

I have more missed calls from you, more texts from you, more conversations with you than with my boyfriend. Neither of you knows what's going on. Neither do I, really.

It's funny how I can make everything awkward in a single moment. You think I speak everything that's on my mind because my words are so scrambled. But really, you don't know how much I hold back.

Even I'm impressed with my ability to immediately find you in a colorful crowd. To find your name in a sea of John Smiths on a list. I don't have to be next to you. I don't have to see you. But I only hear your voice, and I know you're there. Such a loud voice. It carries over all the excess noise in the room.

At the end of the days, I realize that I look at too many pictures of you. (My favorite is the one of you napping with your girlfriend on a couch. Or the one from the beach when you made her a heart out of sand.) You post them on the internet, so proud and happy. It's one of my favorite ways to kill time. (Because really, it's just a waste of time for me.)

I play the girl, will you play the guy? --Overboard

And it doesn't make sense that we're friends because we don't like the same movies and you don't like cats. And you don't think you're handsome, but I find you charming. You cock an eyebrow and tease me a little. I tickle you, you run. Everything is cause and effect.

I never would have thought about you this way if we didn't have to pretend to kiss. If we didn't have to pretend to care and love.

But our lines are said (thrust out there in the open), and your beautiful eyes are staring into mine. And for a moment, I forget we're just pretending. I believe everything you're saying. I believe that you need me.

Your words feel cool and sweet as they blow across my face, brushing my hair away. (I'll bet your girlfriend loves that about you.) Your hands are hot, burning where they grip my skin. Your eyes are so blue. Muscles under your shirt tense and twist as my fingertips pull you closer to me. Our breath mingles, our noses touch. I see your lips with perfect clarity moments before my lashes lower.

Your lips are thin and firm. Stubble and a slip of wetness connect us tightly as our bodies meld together. The best kisses are the ones you aren't supposed to share.

Then we break apart. We avoid each other's gaze as we laugh awkwardly, sheepish looks on our faces. (The moment is over, it's time to go on.) We part in the dark, and you meet with her. I go back to an empty dorm. I call my boyfriend, but he's too busy studying to pick up. I'm really not surprised.

And now we pass, and just like glass, I see through you, you see through me like I'm not there. --Glass

My boyfriend is smarter than you'll ever be. Not an insult, just an observation. (I notice the strangest things.) But he studies. I don't talk to him. You hold your girlfriend's hand. She smiles. She has a beautiful smile. She says hello to me as I silently pass by. She's as polite and sweet as can be. I feel so guilty, but it's really only acting. It's nothing. It's nothing at all.

I sit at the dinner table and clearly I'm quiet and upset. Everyone thinks it's because my boyfriend forgot to call me (Again.). But really, it's because I can see your reflection in the window. You're sitting with your girlfriend and a group of friends. I try not to look, but my eyes are drawn to the scene. One by one, your friends leave until you and she are left.

Your hand is on hers. You both smile, you both laugh. Soft looks, little moments. I stare at the reflection.

Your body broke your fall. –Porcelain Fists

And you are just a fleeting fancy. You won't be there forever in the recesses of my mind. But you're there now and the swooping feeling in my stomach intensifies.

I don't tell anyone how I feel because I can't stand to watch them pass judgment on me. It's wrong. It's not fair to my boyfriend. It's not fair to you and your girlfriend.

So I won't say anything at all. Eventually, you will fade into the background, and this will be a funny story that we all laugh over. (And I will never have the courage to ask you if you ever felt the same.)

You'd be amazed at how much I can live with.

Enjoy? I hope you all did enjoy this. Anyway, a second chapter is in the works. Happy Holidays, everyone.