Hey guys! You though that I disappeared, didn't you? Well, for the time I've been gone, I've been working extremely hard on this magnificent piece of work. It is the third and final part to 'It Started with Lilacs' and 'To Race the Northern Winds'. This is what I've been building up to ever since I decided that I wasn't finished with Lilacs. Now, since this took me months and months to write, naturally, it's going to be long. Very long. So, I've divided it up into four parts which I am going to post from now until Christmas. The next part will be posted on Tuesday December 16th. I'm posting the next part whether I have reviews or not. I just wanted to write this for my own amusement.
Anyways, I've decided to dedicate this story to Jewelieishness for giving me the best review I have EVER received in my life of writing fan fiction. I know she's a big fan of Caren x Subaru, so I incorporated the pairing into this story. So, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Mermaid Melody or any of the respective characters. I only own my vampires.
Divine Expectations
Peculiar Encounters
Written by: Jazlynn
Haze clouded my translucent eyes as I stared lifelessly at the ceiling of my room in my vast palace. It had been a month since I had rescued Noel. A whole month! It was hard to believe that so much time had passed since then. Yes, time; a factor of life that would never affect me anymore. A factor that failed to change my body, yet, took a terrible toll on my mind. It was all because of different perspectives.
Yes, the perspective of time. To one, 'soon' may only be a short period of time. That is what is assumed. However, with the state of one's mind, 'soon' may seem like an eternity. Now, one would assume that if two lovers were parted—meaning that one would leave the other for a short period of time—the one left behind would feel as if 'soon' was an eternity while, for the other, 'soon' would pass very quickly.
But what happens when time is disregarded by another. What if time, to them, meant something completely different than what it means to normal people? What if those individuals could live forever? How can time be measured in that sense? To them, 'soon' may occur over a span of years. To them, it would not seem that long. However, to one whose mind had not shifted to their way of thinking, 'soon' really may seem like eternity—even if it is only a few years.
But I didn't want to wait that long. I wanted 'soon' to be over. I wanted my individual who could live forever to be back here in my arms. He had only been away from me for two months. Two months out of many years. It was torturous. My mind couldn't take it. I had been slowly falling into a deep depression and now I was consumed by it. Forever surrounded by my grief. I had tried to be strong. I had tried to always smile. I managed this for a while—long enough to get my kingdom back in order and long enough to show a smile at my friend, Rina's banquet in the Atlantic Ocean. But after, there was nothing left for me to smile about. I was like an empty shell. Only darkness occupied this body. Only emptiness lingered in these soulless violet eyes. I was as good as dead.
"Lady Caren?"
What a strange sound that echoed in my ears. It sounded like a meek, unfamiliar voice. It was strange but, for some reason, I expected to hear some sort of accent in the voice. Very strange. My body ceased to move as the voice continued to call out my name. Wait, my name? Was that my name? I did not remember. There were a lot of things that I did not remember. All knowledge that I once possessed seemed to have slipped into the darkness that consumed me. I did not need it. After all, I was dead, wasn't I? All I could see was darkness.
"Lady Caren, you are frightening me. Please, say something!"
There was that voice again. Still, all I saw was darkness. My eyes were wide open as well. It was a strange feeling really. My eyelids flickered and slowly, I became aware of the things around me. No, I wasn't dead like I had originally thought. I was alive and still completely alone. So, I was back to staring at the ceiling with the lavender hue. And then, I felt my body shift. My placid eyes were now focused on the mermaid who had been trying to reach out to me in my zoned-out state.
"What is it that you want?" I demanded in a quiet, lifeless voice. I wanted this conversation done and over with so that I could continue to dwell within my own inner thoughts of misery.
"There are many of us in the court that believe that you have become unhealthily distant. It worries us. This is not normal behaviour, Caren." She explained timidly. "We would advise that you go out and do something."
They wanted me to go out and… do something? I stared at the young mermaid blankly. Why wouldn't she leave me alone? Didn't she know that I simply wanted to stay here and be alone? I wanted the quiet peace of my mind. It was my only freedom in my life of fallacy. My very life was like a short story with a tragic ending and I didn't want anyone flipping though the frayed pages. Not her, not anyone. I needed to get away—to go out on my own.
"I suppose I will go out and… do something if that is what you so wish." I murmured in response. However, it sounded as if my reply were more inwardly that anything.
"Thank you, Lady Caren."
I watched in dead silence as the young mermaid swam off. The quiet intoxicated me once more and I thought about drifting back off into that state of nothingness—that state of false sleep that I had come to enjoy so very much. However, I said that I would go out. I would follow through with my decision. I would swim around the surface in complete solitude for a while before coming back down to my barren palace—despite how there were always mermaids swimming around.
With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself off of my unnecessary bed and headed towards the huge balcony that was attached to my room. In all honesty, I was quite glad that I could just leave from here rather than go through my whole palace to get to the main entrance. That would involve running into mermaids and having to speak with them which was something that I did not want to do. I pushed back the lavender sashes that separated the balcony to my room and I began to swim towards the surface.
The ocean was dark as I swam, signaling that it was nighttime. I despised the night. The midnight hours reminded me of him. I scowled in disgust as I surfaced. The moonlight shone down on my body, making me look like I sparkled. I breathed in deeply and then floated on my back. I glanced longingly up at that dark sky that sparkled with diamonds. I wondered if he was looking up at the sky as well. For the first time in a long time, I smiled. I couldn't believe that such a corny phrase popped into my head. Was I really turning into a hopeless romantic? In all honesty, when I thought about it, the relationship I had with him wasn't very strong. Originally, he had wanted to kill me. I was terrified of him! Why should I be mourning as if he was the air I breathed and that I would die without him? I was already dead. He killed me a long time ago.
I pulled my eyes away from the sky to observe the vast ocean. There were only icebergs—the remains of glaciers that once covered my kingdom. Our world would have been secluded then. Yet, it was a long time ago. The mermaid world as well as the human one would have been so different. His kind didn't even exist then. I was pulled out of my thoughts when a strange and very loud sound resonated through the night sky. My eyes went wide as I cringed and I smacked my hands over my ears. Who in their right mind was so obnoxious enough to break that wonderful silence that had enveloped me?! They would certainly pay for it!
My eyes turned to slits as I scanned the area for the source of the sound. I couldn't spot anything at first. There was only darkness, water, a few icebergs and the eerie glow of the moonlight shining down on me. And then I saw something. It was a new source of light; artificial light. I turned to see what it was and discovered a large red object appear on the horizon. It was still too far away for me to completely see but, putting two and two together, I figured that it was a boat. But why were people coming to Antarctica? Certainly they wouldn't like the cold very much. From my knowledge, humans preferred warmth over the cold. Curiosity was beginning to overtake me.
I was bewildered as the boat came closer and closer to the shore. My eyes kept flickering with wonderment at the strange human contraption and, very soon, I was swimming towards it. My speed picked up as I swam and I realized how truly interested I was in this occurrence. Within a matter of minutes, I was at the boat's side, swimming along it as if I were its faithful pet. I heard a door open on deck and soon became aware of footsteps making their way over to the area where I was in.
I lowered myself into the water so that no one would see me if they looked over the side. I watched curiously as a young man with fluffy blonde hair and bright blue eyes peeked over the side of the railing. He didn't look down at the water but he gazed out across the land part of Antarctica. There was excitement bubbling within his eyes as he observed the place I knew so well. His antics intrigued me. I did not understand why someone like him would be in a place like this. He looked like a surfer who would have a huge group of girls following him around.
I heard voices up on the deck and watched as the man turned his head to look at someone. I did my very best to listen in on the conversation that was taking place. Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult. I did, after all, have sensitive hearing. Then again, I was surprised that I hadn't been deafened by the sound of the boat's horn. It had been so loud!
"So, Subaru, what do you think of the landscape?"
I snapped out of my thoughts to listen to the blonde haired man, Subaru, speak.
"It's beautiful!" He replied while looking back out to the vast icy land. "It should be amazing to stay here for a while."
So he was intending on staying here? I watched him in confusion. I still couldn't understand why any human would want to be on the coldest place on earth. This man was very… interesting, to say in the least. I would have to speak with him when the boat landed. Those sparkling blue eyes were just mesmerizing. I felt as if I could lose myself within them. Yes, that would be better than losing myself in that darkness that had consumed me in the past month.
I felt as if my heart fell and became heavier than the glaciers of Antarctica when the man with the feathery blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes left the railing. I still wanted to see him. I decided to simply follow the ship in the meantime. I really had nothing better to do. I wanted to, at the least, find out where this man would be staying. After all, it wasn't like there were any cities in Antarctica.
It took a while for the boat to come to the land and to become anchored in place. I had put a distance between myself and the metal ship as I watched the activity surrounding the boat. There were a few men who left the boat and were now on the land. The blonde, Subaru, soon joined them. I really was intrigued by his presence here. I watched as he talked with these other men about things that I could not hear. The group began walking further inland so I figured that they were done talking about whatever they were talking about. However, if I were to lose sight of them, I wouldn't be able to know where this Subaru was staying.
I quickly glanced around to see if there were any humans present before I pulled myself up onto the shores of Antarctica. I took on my human appearance and looked myself over. I was wearing black pants, a thick lavender coat with matching boots and a dark purple hat covered the top of my head. This would be fitting, hopefully.
I dragged my golden eyes away from my outfit to observe the barren white land that surrounded me. They widened in fear when I realized that all the humans were now out of sight. I didn't even know where they went! My eyes frantically darted around to see if there were any traces of life around me.
Nothing.
Suddenly, I felt fearful. I felt fearful of having lost something dear to me. The feeling was horrible and I was beginning to feel shrouded by the darkness that my previous lover had left me with. I felt my heart ache as I thought about it. No! I would not let that happen again! I wasn't going to lose something that I wanted to gain! This human had captured my attention and I wanted him. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to hear his glorious voice! A surge of determination swept through my body and I felt myself begin running at top speed. I would seem like a blur to anyone who saw me whizzing past them.
I headed more inland, that fear still lingering in my body as I ran. I didn't know how long I had been running but, it didn't seem like it was that long. I had to force myself to stop as the group came back to my sight. They were entering some strange vehicle that I had never seen before. It looked like a mix between a house and a snowmobile or something akin to that. I waited for them all to enter the house-type thing before I walked forward. Was this where Subaru would be staying? I was intrigued even further.
I approached the 'housemobile' and I could hear voices from within. However, due to the metal, the conversation was muffled. I couldn't even distinguish who was talking. I stood there in silence, debating my next move. I didn't even know what I was doing. Why should I be so absorbed with some human? Why did I feel the need to follow him? A wave of confusion washed over me as I pondered this. It was very strange.
I heard a 'click' and my eyes went wide. A sliver of light shined outside from the doorway. The humans were coming outside! My mind reeled as it tried to register what was happening. At the last moment, I dashed around the side of the red 'thing'. The men emerged right after I was hidden. They were still talking but, this time I wasn't paying attention to them. I was trying to calm my panicked self. I did take notice when the talking stopped and when I was enveloped in silence. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh! H-hello."
My eyes went wide and my head jerked to look at the blonde haired man, Subaru. He was looking at me with a shocked expression as I stared at him dumbly. My body froze in place and I found myself unable to move. No words were able to escape my lips. I just stood there in silent shock as this Subaru watched me intently. His eyes were filled with compassion and worry. They weren't elusive and mysterious like Mathias'.
"Excuse me, miss, are you alright?"
Subaru's voice brought my mind back to reality and I realized the situation that I had found myself in. I panicked. Fear shot through my body and I turned on my heel and fled. I ran at a quick human pace and I could hear Subaru call out to me in worry. I wasn't focusing at all on what he was saying. All that was running through my mind was to get away. Then, something unexpected happened.
I felt my feet give way underneath me, yet, I didn't recall tripping. I felt myself falling but, I wasn't falling forward like I would when tripping. My legs were still moving as if I was still running but, there was no ground beneath my feet. My eyes widened in horror and I let out a terror filled shriek. My hands flailed around as I tried to grab onto something—anything! They caught hold on the edge of the crevice that I had fallen into and I hung there in complete shock. I couldn't speak. I could not call for help or anything. I felt the snow crumbling under my fingers and my eyes widened further. I wanted to scream, yet couldn't. My mind went completely blank.
I recalled being told that when people fell off cliffs or extremely high heights, they would often die of a heart attack before they made impact with the ground. I wasn't sure if that statement was true or not but, it truly made me wonder. I wouldn't die of a heart attack if I fell. I wouldn't die if I made impact with the ground—however far down that ground was. But what would happen to me? I was immortal. I wouldn't die. Not even with the lack of food or the bitter cold. I would simply be trapped. I wouldn't even be able to commit suicide!
I felt the snow slip under my hands and I felt myself falling for a brief moment of time. Then I stopped again. I wondered why. Common sense told me to look up and so I did. I saw an angel firmly grasping my wrists and struggling to pull me up. The moonlight that glittered off the snow seemed to make his blonde hair and blue eyes sparkle. But I knew that this was not an angel. Angels had golden eyes, dark brown hair and pale skin. This man did not fit that description. My mind was finally returning to me and I realized that this was Subaru trying to pull me up.
I moved my feet to the side of the crevice and attempted to walk up the ice. I felt myself getting higher and higher. Eventually, I felt myself being harshly pulled forward and I was back on solid… Subaru? I blinked a few times in confusion before I realized that I had fallen forward onto the blonde man who had rescued me just a moment ago. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around the man and cried into his chest. He seemed surprised by the gesture but he wrapped his arms around me and gently rubbed my back.
"Hey, don't worry. It's alright. You're safe now." He murmured.
You're safe now. The words echoed around in my head as if they were the only thing there. I was safe. I was safe in my savior's arms. I continued to cry, feeling comfort being there in his arms. He continued to hold me and rub my back, even though he didn't know who I was. I could feel him lifting me up to my feet as I still clung to him. He was pretty strong—for a human. He began moving back towards his home and my feet were forced to follow. I didn't mind though. Right now, I didn't want to be alone. Right now, I wanted that comfort he was providing me.
We walked for a really long time, I realized. I must've run pretty far. What surprised me was the fact that this human had come after me. He could have very well fallen into one of the same crevices in which I had fallen. I didn't understand why a complete and total stranger would risk his life to help me. I pondered these things for quite a while before we returned to Subaru's home.
I pulled my mind out of my thoughts and feigned a smile as he held the door open for me. Still feeling slightly shaky, Subaru helped me inside. The interior of his home was quite small yet cozy. It was a huge change from the places where I'd been living but, somehow, I didn't mind. There was a small kitchen in one corner of the room, a desk with a computer at the other, a couch, a table and two doors which I assumed led to a washroom and bedroom. I planted myself on the couch and watched as Subaru headed over to the kitchen.
He came back over to me and handed me a mug of hot chocolate. I whispered a small 'thank you' and took a sip of the drink. I suddenly remembered how utterly delicious hot chocolate was. I know that I was a vampire and that blood was supposed to be my forte in taste but… this just tasted so damn good! I drank more of the delectable liquid and I heard Subaru chuckling beside me. I gave him a curious glance.
"Wow, I'm amazed," he stated with a smile on his face. "I always thought that this hot chocolate was kind of crappy."
I gave him a look of bewilderment. "Are you kidding me? It's absolutely delicious!"
He laughed at how I made my declaration. Why should that be amusing? I was feeling confused. He was laughing at me and mocking the delicious hot chocolate I was drinking. I didn't find it amusing at all. He didn't even know me. Wasn't it disrespectful to laugh at someone whom you've just met? I felt even more confused as he laughed harder.
"I'm sorry. Is something wrong?" I asked, sounding rather offended.
"Oh! No, no, nothing's wrong," he said while slightly waving his hands in the air. "It's just that… I've never seen someone look as if they enjoy crappy hot chocolate so much. Have you ever had it before?"
I looked at those sparking blue eyes of his and kept a stern presence about me. I could tell that he was trying his best to not laugh again. What a typical boy. I couldn't believe the way he was acting. Not to mention asking if I had ever had hot chocolate before. I had had it before! It wasn't a matter of asking 'who has had hot chocolate before?' it was a matter of asking 'who hasn't had hot chocolate before?'
"I've had hot chocolate before." I stated stubbornly as if to scream out that he was really beginning to irritate me.
Subaru simply kept on smiling, his blue eyes shining as he looked at me. "Obviously, you haven't had Canadian hot chocolate before. Where did you grow up?"
I looked at him oddly. Without thinking, I stated the truth. "I grew up here."
That changed the expression on Subaru's face to a frown. "Here?"
I realized my mistake. Antarctica was a barren continent covered in glaciers that only scientists were prone to visit. No one grew up here. I lightly bit my lower lip as my mind reeled to come up with an explanation.
"Well, I guess I didn't technically grow up here," I explained quickly, omitting the truth of where I actually grew up. "I just visit a lot because it's so beautiful here."
The smile returned to Subaru's face. "I guess that makes sense. It really is quite amazing down here. It's just such a shame that the ice is melting."
My eyes widened in shock. "What?"
Subaru looked at me as if I'd missed some vital piece of information. "You didn't know?"
I shook my head in disbelief. I had no idea that the ice was melting. What would that mean for the marine world? Thousands of animals would lose their homes. I looked at Subaru, my eyes pleading for an explanation. He let out a long sigh.
"The Earth's temperature is beginning to rise and it's causing the glaciers here to melt. That's why I'm here—to try and find a way to preserve the glaciers." He explained.
I observed him carefully; taking in all of the information he was giving me and processing it. "So, you're a scientist then."
"Yeah," he murmured softly, still thinking about the information that he'd just given me.
He looked so thoughtful, so… pensive. I didn't know why but, I kind of liked him being around—despite the fact that he was making fun of me earlier. He looked back at me and then an expression crossed his face that meant he'd forgotten something very important.
"Oh my gosh! I haven't even introduced myself to you yet! I am so sorry!" He apologized quickly while trying to regain his composure. He gave me a friendly smile and took my hands within his own. "Hi, I'm Subaru—scientist extraordinaire!"
A devious smile crossed my face as he said this. "Scientist extraordinaire, huh? Have you ever been to Antarctica before?"
I watched his face falter as I spoke that and my smile got bigger. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. Subaru tried to put on a stern façade yet failed horribly.
"Alright Miss Pessimistic, so I've never been to Antarctica before. I apparently already know more about this place than you do, considering the fact that you've been here before." He stated while looking at me in false anger. I couldn't help but smile at the casual presence around Subaru. It was more enjoyable than the intense presence I had always felt around Mathias. I wasn't given a chance to think about the vampire who turned me as Subaru began to speak once more. "Now, before you try to take anymore hits on my ego, may I have the pleasure of the name of the girl who fell into a hold in the ground?"
My eyes widened and I realized that Subaru had just taken a hit on my ego. However, I heard the teasing tone in his voice and knew that he was just trying to get back at me. I gave him a warm smile. "I'm Caren."
"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Caren," he stated while returning my smile with one of his own. "So, where are you staying? I'm not really aware of any other places around here that people live."
Oh, ouch. That question hit me hard. I stared at him dumbfounded as I tried to figure out that question for myself. Where was I staying? I certainly couldn't say that I was staying in an underwater palace with lots of servants which I owned. He would think I was on some kind of drug. His expression turned to worry when I didn't reply.
"You do have a place to stay, don't you?" He pushed worriedly.
"Well… umm, actually…" I breathed in deeply, about to tell a lie that would temporarily seal my fate. "No. I don't have a place to stay."
I felt sheepish and embarrassed for admitting to a false truth. I had a place to stay but, I didn't feel much like going back there right now. If I went back to my palace, my attendants would act as if my going out would be some great accomplishment on my part. I didn't want that. So, my fate was to either stay here with Subaru or get thrown out in the snow.
"You seriously came here without a place to stay?" He asked in disbelief. "Do you have a death wish or something?"
I was slightly surprised by Subaru. He wasn't exactly saying that I could stay and he wasn't exactly saying that I couldn't. To me, it sounded as if he was still trying to comprehend the fact that I didn't have a place to stay—not that it really mattered. The cold didn't bother me and it couldn't kill me either. That thought almost made me chuckle as Subaru asked if I had a death wish. Instead of laughing, I let a wide grin spread across my face.
"I had a death wish. I was running with vampires for a while." I admitted in a joking manor. I figured I may as well tell him the truth if he didn't really believe anything that I said anyways. I added on to my ridiculous statement with more truth, spoken in a sarcastic tone. "Oh yeah, I'm a vampire."
Subaru glanced at me with pensive eyes. "So, let me get this straight then. You're a vampire and you've got no place to stay. Does the vampire Caren, wish to stay with me?"
For a moment, I thought that he seriously believed me. My face would have turned three shades whiter had Subaru not smiled as asked if I wanted to stay with him. Relieved, I mustered a grin before making my remark to his question.
"Inviting a vampire to stay in your home? That's a little bit risky, don't you think? I might come after you when you're sleeping." I threatened, sarcasm dripping on every single one of my words.
Subaru laughed. His blue eyes were sparkling again. "Well, I think I'm pretty informed about vampires to know when I'm in danger or not. I know for a fact that you are not a vampire."
I glanced at him questioningly. I was quite amused. "And how do you figure this? Could it possibly be the fact that you are a scientist and such things like vampires are completely absurd?"
"Well, I suppose," he chuckled softly. "However, I once knew a guy who really believed that vampires exist. His name was Felix or something like that. Personally, I think he changed his name just to make it sound vampiric."
I giggled. "Who would change their name to be more vampiric? If they really believed that vampires existed, wouldn't they go out and find a vampire and ask them to turn them into one?"
"That would seem more logical." He agreed cheerfully. "However, this guy was kind of odd. See, he's so informed about vampires but, when I knew him, he seemed really fascinated about mermaids."
This got my interest. "Go on. Oh, and you still haven't told me about how you figure that I'm not a vampire."
"Well, about you not being a vampire, Felix said that a vampire would never reveal what they were to a human. You clearly stated that you were a vampire. You wouldn't have done that if you truly were a vampire." He explained.
"Hmm, this is true." I agreed thoughtfully. What he didn't know was that maybe I was so good at hiding my identity that I was putting it out in the open where he would merely skip over it. Oh, I was good. But that wasn't what mattered to me right now. "So, what did… Felix tell you about mermaids?"
Subaru breathed in deeply. "Well, he said that his fascination with mermaids began when a woman stayed the night at his place in Britain. He believed that she was a mermaid. However, when I tried to ask him about it further, he answered saying that he didn't know much about mermaids. He then went on to explain more about vampires and how they usually avoid mermaids."
Subaru laughed. I laughed along with him as if we were talking about some crazy psycho who truly believed that he was a vampire. However, if this Felix knew so much about vampires, it would make sense if he actually was one. But there was something wrong with what he told Subaru. If vampires generally avoided mermaids, why was Mathias drawn towards me? I really wanted to know now.
"Did Felix elaborate more on that topic?" I asked, wishing to gain more information.
Subaru yawned. "Well, he didn't say much about it but he said that it went back to the beginning of vampiric history. Apparently, a vampire fell in love with a mermaid princess and the vampire king wasn't too happy about it. So, the vampire king went out and killed the mermaid or something rather, and then said that if any vampire was to fall in love with a mermaid, they'd be killed."
"Oh," was all I could really say. That bit of information shocked me. A mermaid princess was killed by the vampire king. Mathias was the King of Vampires. Did that mean…? I allowed my thoughts to trail off, not wanting to even think about the possibility. Subaru yawned again which drew my attention back to him.
"How late is it?" I asked quietly. The vampire story had sucked any kind of humor that was in me. It must have taken the humor from Subaru as well since he seemed more somber as well.
"Probably past one in the morning. My ship arrived here at quarter to twelve and then I had to go chase after you, remember?"
I hummed softly in response. "You should probably get some sleep then."
"I suppose," he softly murmured. "You can sleep in my bedroom. I'll sleep here on the couch."
I shook my head in disagreement. "This is your home and I am only a guest here. I'll sleep on the couch."
Subaru looked at me stubbornly. "I'm not moving from this couch."
"Well neither am I." I snapped back.
We both sat there, staring each other down, waiting for the other to break. However, as I waited for him, a plot was forming in my mind. I could give in and go to his room. Then, when Subaru was asleep, I could come out and carry him back into his room to sleep. That way, we'd both win to some extent. This plan would work.
I let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine! I'll sleep in your room! Just don't expect me to give in every single night like this."
With that, I got up off the couch and headed to his room, closing the door behind me. I could just imagine the look on his face. He must have been shocked that I had given in so easily. Well, he didn't know my evil plan yet so, I was in luck. With a smile, I let myself fall onto his bed and I listened to his heartbeat in the other room. It was like the most beautiful sound in the world to me. Its rhythmic beat almost made me want to fall asleep myself. However, that was impossible. I would forever be awake to hear that heartbeat. And so, in the darkness of his room, I waited.
--x--x--x--x--x--x--
I didn't know how long I waited for the beating of Subaru's heart to slow but when it finally did, I was off of his bed and creeping towards the doorway. I silently slipped into the darkened main room where the blonde-haired male was sprawled out on the couch. He kind of looked like a puppy dog for some reason. I almost giggled at the resemblance.
I quickly made my way over to him and I gently pulled him up into my arms. The scene I had found myself in might have seemed quite silly to an observer. I was a princess who had easily just taken up a fully grown male into my arms as if he were a small child. I looked down at the 'puppy child-like' man in my arms and smiled. Now that I thought about it, he was kind of cute—not that I was falling in love with him or anything. My heart still yearned for Mathias.
As I carried Subaru into his room, I pondered on what had happened to Mathias. What exactly was he doing that was taking him so long to get back to me? Or maybe he was already on his way back to me. No. I would have felt his presence nearing.
I carefully set Subaru onto his bed and pulled the blankets over his sleeping form. My body instantly tensed when the heater in the corner of the room blew Subaru's scent right into my face. Quickly gaining control over my instincts, I breathed in deeply to try and clear my head. Very bad idea. I was breathing in his scent and it was causing me to lose control. I had to fight with myself to refrain from killing Subaru. Quickly, I turned on my heel and got out of the room.
Silently closing the door, I took in a breath of fresh air that was void of Subaru's glorious scent. My eyes were wide and I was trembling. I didn't understand what had just happened. I didn't understand why his scent was so overwhelming. Why did I only notice it now? I seemed fine around Subaru before so… why was his scent so apparent to me now? I tried to figure this out as I planted myself on the couch. Warm air was blowing on me from one of the heaters and I figured out the answer. He'd always been downwind from me. I didn't really have a chance to pick up his scent before.
I let out a gust of air before letting myself fall back onto the couch. I curled up on my side as if I was going to sleep. I tried to make sense out of Subaru's scent which had obviously got the better of me. It was hard to concentrate on what it was at first. All that came to my mind were the words 'appealing' and 'delicious'. However, as I focused and pushed away my inner vampire, I could identify the scent. It was sunlight. I didn't know that sunlight had an aroma. I certainly hadn't detected it before when in real sunlight. So, why now with Subaru? Maybe it was because it was just the scent of his blood. That was probably the reason. But why was it so strong?
I rubbed my temples as I tried to think. Surely, Mathias would have told me about this if some humans had really compelling scents. But maybe it was just me. Or maybe it was that nagging, suffocating feeling my throat endured whenever I had to feed. Thinking about it now, I hadn't fed in a really long time. I had been in my palace for a month without leaving. No wonder I was so compelled to kill Subaru!
Panic began to overcome my body as I glanced around the room frantically. I needed to feed. The only source of blood nearby was Subaru and I did not want to kill him. I didn't want to kill any human for that matter. I tried to think of animals that lived in Antarctica that I could possibly feed on. The only things that I could think of were fish and penguins. No! I didn't want to hunt them either! They were the marine life that I had to protect! I wasn't going to kill them!
I quickly got up off of the couch and headed silently for the door. It didn't matter what I preyed on: I had to get Subaru away from the danger that was the demon within me. I slipped outside into the cool Antarctic air and breathed in deeply. The realization of knowing I hadn't fed was absolutely killing me. Mathias had told me an analogy of what it was like to not feed. It was like holding your breath under water and how it doesn't affect you until you have to breathe. However, I couldn't relate. I had never experienced that phenomenon before. However, right now, I knew that I would not ever want to drown. If it was compared to the feeling I had now, it would be absolutely horrible.
I glanced around the area and then took off in a random direction. I kept my pace fast and stayed light on my feet so that I could avoid another accident. Subaru wouldn't be there to save me if I fell into another crack. Not that it mattered. With the speed I was running at, the moment the ice gave way beneath me, I'd be far enough away that I wouldn't be affected.
I could hear distinct cracks that sounded whenever my feet touched the ground. Looking around, I could tell that I was on some ice field. Perhaps I was treading on thin ice. That wasn't too bad. If I fell though, I'd just go back to my mermaid form. No harm done. However, the shadow that was circling around beneath the ice worried me. I couldn't tell what it was and I didn't want to find out. I would have to keep up my search for prey.
Just then, a loud crack resounded and I felt that one of my feet could not go forward. I slammed face first into ice that was breaking beneath my weight. I could feel my body being dragged back and I could feel something sharp digging into my one foot. I let out a scream as I tried to pull myself away. I glanced back to find that a large leopard seal had my foot in its mouth while it aggressively tried to drag me into the water. I screamed again, trying to kick its head with my free leg. The creature violently shook its head, thrashing me about in the process.
I screamed yet again. My foot was in a hell of a lot of pain and a vicious leopard seal was trying to kill me! I had to get a hold of myself. I was the hunter—not this beast! Instead of fighting this creature's will, I flung myself towards it in an attempt to attack it. I just barely missed biting its neck and I found myself flung over the creature as if someone was carrying me over their shoulder. However, the seal's flesh was in my mouth's reach. I could, at least, steal some of the creature's energy.
Acting on my instincts, I sunk my teeth into the creatures back. No, it probably wasn't the best picture but, I would choose this over being eaten alive. The seal roared in pain and tried to fling me off of its back. With the creature succeeding, I was flung across the ice. I yelped as my body connected with the ground. I could hear the ice cracking beneath me and I could sense the animal approaching me.
My eyes opened in a flash to reveal their vampiric crimson colour. I glared at the beast that was causing me so much grief. I would kill it. This would be the prey that would temporarily satisfy my thirst. Carefully, I shifted my body to face the creature, not wanting the ice the break beneath me. Converting back to my mermaid form would not be helpful in this situation. If that were to happen, the beast would merely attack me and make me its dinner. It was easier for me to maneuver in my human-like form.
With newfound determination, I lunged forward to attack the seal head on. As I had hoped, the creature flinched away from my demonic form. That was all it took. With a quick movement from my hands, I snapped the creature's neck and sunk my teeth into its flesh. Its blood flowed into my mouth and that suffocating feeling dispersed. It made me feel both relieved and guilty at the same time. I had just killed an aquatic creature.
No! I would not take guilt for this creature's actions! It had tried to eat me! The fact that I was killing it in self defense made me feel a little bit better. I was truly amazed that I was not yet used to killing living things. Perhaps one day I would. Perhaps, one day, I might truly become a monster. I wasn't looking forward to the day but, then again, I might not care when that time comes.
When I could get no more blood from the leopard seal, I slowly moved away from it, observing the bloody mess that my struggle had created. Not only the ice but, my clothes had been covered in blood as well. I didn't want to imagine what my face might look like either. Observing the cracked ice beneath me, I stood up and forcefully jumped down. The ice shattered beneath my feet and I fell into the dark waters below.
The first thing that I noticed when I was back in my mermaid form was an unsettling presence that made me shiver. Whatever aura that was in the water, it was making me unsettled, scared, and feeling very alone. Yes, alone. That fit the presence well. I didn't understand why such a lonely feeling would envelope the water here. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around myself as if attempting to keep warm. I didn't like being here.
As my eyes scanned the area, I saw something that greatly surprised me. Within the depths of these waters lay the ruins of an underwater palace. Fear gripped me as I beheld this long forgotten place. I wanted so desperately to leave but, my curiosity compelled me to go look around.
Trembling, I swam towards the ruins in a constant haze of indecision. My mind was screaming at me to leave this instant while another part of it was telling me go and see. That smaller part was getting the better of me no matter how hard my common sense was working against it. I slowly breathed in and out in staggered breaths as I came upon the palace. I didn't want to go inside. I sensed death all over the place. Some unknown tragedy had occurred here and I didn't want to know what.
I turned to swim away but was stopped by the glowing light of my pearl. I took the pendant from my neck to observe it. Why was it glowing like this? It wasn't like I had any companions who were in trouble nearby. If anything, I was the one who might be in terrible danger.
My eyes widened in shock when the pendant flew out on my hands at its own free will. I gasped and immediately swam after my most prized possession. I followed the violet glow into the ruins and tried to keep up with my pearl. The light was beginning to fade away and I felt like I had been defeated by some unknown force. Then, it was gone. My pearl was no longer within my view.
My body began to shake violently as I lingered in the large, empty room. All of sudden, I was terrified. I didn't even have my pearl anymore. Slowly, I looked around the room—feeling as if I was being watched or that I was not alone. I couldn't see anyone or anything but when I looked to the ground, my stomach twisted into the tightest knot and my eyes widened as much as they possible could with terror. I let out a shriek of horror and grief. What was this frightening hell?!
Tears were falling from my eyes now as I tried to breathe in gasps of air. I kept screaming upon the sight my eyes beheld. I wanted to get out of this place and never return but my body was frozen in place. My eyes could not be torn away from the gaze of the many mermaid skeletons that littered the floor. They were all staring at me as if they still possessed life.
"Rose, is that you?"
I screamed loudly and almost jumped out of my skin as I heard an echo-y voice ring out through the darkened room. My body jerked towards the sound and I screamed again when I saw the ghost-like figure of a mermaid that looked very worn with age. I could tell that she was a spirit due to her ethereal presence and the fact that I could see right through her. However, the woman terrified me.
I backed away as the spirit floated towards me. My body was shaking more violently than before and I felt more scared than I was when Mathias had turned me. Her wrinkled pale hand reached out to grab me and I let out another scream while flinching away. The deceased woman seemed to not take any notice to my fear as she continued to come near me.
"Rose, is that really you Rose? Oh, thank the heavens you are alive! You must not let them find you. You must get away. They'll find you and kill you like they have to us if you stay here."
I didn't need the ghost's council on that matter. She was trying to cling onto me calling me by a foreign name. I tried to bat her hands away from me as I turned tail and fled. My screams were the only thing I could hear as I swam blindly down corridors. I didn't even know where I was. My pearl had led me into this place.
My pearl; I felt as if it had betrayed me. It led me directly into a living nightmare; a hellish nightmare that I did not wish to have. I didn't even have my pearl anymore. It was gone. It would forever remain that way too if I ever found the exit. However, no matter where I swam, I could not find a way out. The corridors I had found myself in seemed like a labyrinth. Another feeling of panic swept over me as I turned down another corridor.
A loud wailing shriek sounded off beside me as another distraught spirit clung to me. I screamed trying to get it away from me. It kept on wailing and screaming, continuing to try and cling to me. I felt more spirits latch onto me to cry and moan in despair. I was screaming as well, trying desperately to get away. Tears fell from the corners of my eyes as I struggled to get free.
"Let go of me!" I shrieked while struggling to get free.
"Why have you forsaken us?!" One of them cried out.
"Don't leave us for dead, Rose!" Another wailed.
"Why did you choose him over us?!" Another questioned in anguish.
I screamed out in horror, once again. My pleas were failing. Why wouldn't they let me go? Why were they calling me Rose? Why were they blaming me for whatever happened to them. I didn't understand. My mind finally snapped. My eyes went wide and I yelled out at the top of my lungs, "SUBARU! NOELLE! MATHIAS! SAVE ME!"
A violet light encircled me and the ghost-like mermaids screamed out in pain. They released me and shriveled away into nothingness. Their voices were forever etched within my mind. I could still hear them screaming out to me.
Why have you forsaken us?! I don't know.
Don't leave us for dead, Rose! It wasn't my fault.
Why did you choose him over us?! Because I love him.
When the light faded away, I was laying on a bed in a room somewhere in the palace ruins. However, I was alone and didn't feel like I was suffocating like I had felt with all of those ghosts clinging to me. I was breathing in staggered breaths as I looked around the room. I had no idea how I got here. A moment ago, I was in that hallway and now, I was here. My frightened eyes were drawn to the soft violet light that encircled my pendant. I got up and swam over to where it was glowing and I took it in my hands. The light from my pearl had saved me. I would be alright now.
I quickly placed the pendant around my neck where I would make sure it stayed. I didn't want to lose it again—especially in this place. My pearl's light began to fade and I was beginning to feel uneasy once more. I had to leave—and soon. I had a feeling that those ghosts were searching for me. I wasn't this 'Rose' who they kept going on and on about.
I took a final glance at the place where my pearl had been to find that there was a beautifully decorated book where my pendant had once been. My eyes widened in shock. That hadn't been there a moment ago! My fingers trembled as I ran them along the cover of the book. That feeling of being utterly alone seeped through my veins as I took the book into my arms and opened it. Black ink written in fancy handwriting covered almost every page that had been bound together. I flipped through the pages, admiring the script that was so beautifully written. However, I realized that this book was a journal; the accounts of a mermaid's personal life. I had no right to be flipping through it.
I was about to place the book back down when a piercing wail sounded throughout the room. Fear shot throughout my entire body and I thought myself an idiot for not listening to that feeling of impending doom. I spun around, tightly holding the journal to my chest with my eyes wide open in fright. There were more mermaids barricading the main entrance to the room. I quickly glanced around the room and was quite relieved to find that there was a balcony—just like in my room. Without a moment of hesitation, I swam for it.
"NO!"
"Do not leave us, Rose!"
Their pleading voices full of anguish were just the thing I needed to pick up my already fast pace and get to the surface. I swam and I swam both out of fear and desperation. I was getting closer to the surface now and I didn't dare look back to see if I was being followed. I was almost there. Almost. Just a little bit further.
"You will not leave us for dead!"
"Stay with us!"
I screamed out as I felt the ghosts leech onto my tail. I didn't want to stay with them! I wasn't dead! I wasn't their 'Rose'! I was Caren, the purple mermaid princess of the Antarctic Ocean! Younger twin sister to Noel, deep blue mermaid princess of the Arctic Ocean! I wasn't going to stay in some ghost-infested ruins! I turned to look at the ghost mermaid in absolute rage.
"NO!" I screamed loudly so that they might process my harsh words. "I am not staying with you! I did not leave you for dead! I did not forsake you! Oh, and I am NOT Rose!"
I lunged forward as if the attack the mermaids and they backed away while wailing and shrieking. I took the only oppouritunity I had and I made a break for the surface. I swam faster than I could have thought possible until I came flying up through the ice. I instantly turned back into my human-like form and began running the moment I touched the ground. I held the journal close to my chest as if it were the very essence of my life. I didn't know why the book had become so important to me. All I knew was that I needed it. Perhaps this book was the reason my pearl went into the ruins in the first place. Perhaps I needed to read what was in this book.
Still, I wasn't sure if I should just go and read someone's journal. It didn't seem right at all. I slowed my pace to a walk as I neared Subaru's home and I looked down at the book in my arms. The book, itself, was a dark shade of royal purple—something I would've expected for something found in the Antarctic Ocean. The cover was lined with lavender thread that was woven into many intricate designs which bordered the part of the cover that made my stomach churn. Right, smack-dab in the middle of it were frozen lilacs that were made up of diamonds, amethysts and emeralds that were imbedded in the cover. My scent—the scent that compelled Mathias to choose me as the one person he would turn.
--x--x--x--x--x--x--
"Caren, are you… alright?"
My golden eyes flickered over to Subaru as he sat at his desk with the computer. There was worry evident in his blue eyes that usually sparkled. I didn't understand why he was asking me this but I nodded to show him that I was fine. That seemed to make him relax somewhat but… I couldn't help but feel as if something was unsettling him. He didn't even notice that I had moved him to his bed when he woke up this morning. He just came out of his room looking very panicked, scanning the room for me.
I wondered if he knew if I had left last night but, he didn't bring anything up. He seemed more unsettled than I had been last night. I didn't understand why he was so bothered by something that had to do with me. I was practically a stranger to him. We only really knew each other for a few hours. It was… bizarre. He had seemed so cheerful last night and now… he was worried about something.
I watched him as he worked on something at his computer. The tension in his body was making me rather nervous. I didn't understand what he was upset about. I couldn't figure out the reason either. I didn't know him well enough to be able to. I also didn't know him well enough to know how he'd react if I asked him what was wrong. Then again, it was the only thing that I could do. I took in a deep breath.
"Subaru?" I started, glancing over in his direction.
He looked back over at me, eyes somber and pensive. "Hmm? What is it?"
I looked down at my lap feeling slightly shy. "Well… you don't seem very happy. I know that I've only known you for a little while but… I don't think that's normal for you, is it?"
Subaru let out a long sigh. "No, it's not."
He looked at the computer screen again before becoming frustrated with what he was doing. He turned the screen off and then came over to sit by me on the couch. We were sitting on the opposite sides of the couch that we had been sitting on last night so his scent was blowing right at me. Today, his scent was more refreshing to me and I didn't have to panic at the thought of trying to kill him. That was definitely the plus side of what had happened last night. I had finally gotten a bite to drink. I pulled myself out of my thoughts as Subaru began to speak.
"Gah, I can't work with my mind in the state it's in." He muttered bitterly before trying to muster a smile. "I'm sorry Caren. I usually am a lot more cheerful than this. It's just that… well… let's not talk about vampires late at night again, okay?"
I tilted my head to the side in confusion. That was… all that he wanted to say? I couldn't fathom the reason why. We were merely just joking about vampires. He didn't really believe that I actually was one, did he? That couldn't have been right. Subaru was a scientist who should be thinking logically. He shouldn't believe in vampires even though I knew that they were real. Subaru gently laughed when he saw my expression.
"It's nothing to really worry about so don't worry. I guess the mood that the conversation brought on kind of gave me a bad dream. That's all." He explained quickly.
He was lying. That much I could tell. His eyes showed off that he was trying desperately to keep something from me. He was omitting the truth. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. I focused on the sound of Subaru's heartbeat as it began to slow after lying just a moment ago. His heart would speed up again as I spoke. I knew it would.
"There's more to it than that, isn't there?" I stated while trying to turn it into a question.
I was right. The rhythm sped up. I was expecting another omitted truth to come from his lips but instead, he said something completely different. He gave me a question that I was not expecting.
"Caren, where were you last night?" He asked quietly, his eyes gazing deep within my own.
I was left speechless. He knew that I had left? "How…?"
"I woke up last night because I thought I heard you scream out for help but, when I awoke, I was in my room. I came out here and you weren't here either. I was really worried. I was out looking for you for a long time. I was scared that you might have…"
My face fell to an expression of sadness. I had caused Subaru to worry about me. And not only that but, he was out looking for me. In the middle of the night, at that! I was beginning to feel really bad. How could I do that to him?
"Oh, Subaru, I… wait, hold on a second." I recalled something he just said—something I had missed before. "Did you say that… you heard me call out for help?"
I didn't think my face could become any paler than it was but, I was sure that I'd just turned a shade whiter. Images from last night flowed through my mind, reminding me of the terror I had faced in the mermaid graveyard. I could clearly remember wails and moans of the ghosts that clung to me. I also remembered feeling completely helpless and calling out for Subaru, Noel and Mathias. Did Subaru hear me calling out to him?
"Yeah, I did. It sounded like you were really frightened. The way you called out… it made me scared too." Subaru paused momentarily as if he were lingering in indecision about what he should say next. "It was almost like… no. Never mind. It's nothing."
"Nothing? Really?" I raised my eyebrow at Subaru's reply. It was so not 'nothing'. "Subaru, just tell me. What's on your mind? Please, let me know."
I could see the conflict in his eyes. He was looking away from me, deep in thought. I could see that he didn't want to tell me what was on his mind. I knew I shouldn't expect him to tell me but… I wanted to know. If I was causing problems in his life, I would leave. I didn't want to cause him grief.
"You really want to know?" He asked, still unsure about whether or not he was going to tell me.
I nodded, showing my interest. He breathed in deeply before speaking. "Alright then. But my thoughts on how you sounded when you called out to me may have been affected by the dream I had which, as I said before, had to do with our conversation on vampires.
"Now, I know that this is odd to say to some stranger who I only met last night but, last night, I dreamt of you. The whole dream was centered on that story of the mermaid princess and the vampire. See, in my dream, you were the mermaid princess. I didn't know who the vampire was. All I could really say about him was that he had really gold eyes and dark hair. He was going to kill you, Caren. I recall being there, trying to intervene and save you but, for some reason, I couldn't. There was no way I could get to you. The only other thing I recall was that there was another girl there who was calling out to you and wanted to save you just like me. Then I heard you scream. It sounded so real—like you were right there in front of me. Even after I awoke, I swear, I could still hear your voice echoing off the walls. It sounded like… like you were being killed."
Subaru spoke that last phrase through clenched teeth. I was finding it hard to comprehend his story. I was sure that the vampire he described was Mathias but… Mathias was trying to kill me? And what of this other girl? Could it have been Miranda? But if Subaru's dream was based off of that vampire story then, neither he or this mystery girl would have been there, right? But his dream wasn't what shocked me. What shocked me was the fact that he had heard me call out to him. Did that mean that Noel and Mathias had heard me too?
A shiver ran through my body as I tried to think of what they might have thought. Noel would have been scared out of her wits and would possibly be on her way to my kingdom right now. Mathias, on the other hand… Oh, I knew how he could get at times. I knew that his mood could change as quickly as a bolt of lightning. His reaction would be a lot harder to figure out. He might have thought that his father had found me or that something terrible had happened in his and Miranda's absence.
But what about Subaru? Noel was a mermaid and Mathias was a vampire. They both knew about supernatural happenings. Subaru was human. This must have been so confusing for him. He was a scientist who was getting caught up in supernatural occurrences and it was all my fault. I glanced over to find the fluffy blonde-haired male looking distraught and unhappy. I felt the need to comfort him—to hold him.
I felt my body moving towards his and I felt myself wrap my arms around his waist. His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me close to him. I allowed him to hold me like that for a long time. Frankly, I didn't mind comforting him. He needed support right now.
"Subaru," I started in a soft voice. "About last night… I went out to get some fresh air and got completely distracted by a seal. I didn't mean to worry you. And dreams are dreams. I don't think that any vampires will be killing me anytime soon."
I tried to smile at that last phrase as if I was completely joking. That whole line I just spoke was like a joke to me. I went out to get fresh air so that I wouldn't kill Subaru. I got distracted by a leopard seal because it attacked me and tried to eat me. Oh, and vampires may very well be on their way to come and kill me. Not that I would ever tell Subaru this. I didn't want to complicate his life.
"Well, a dream is a dream, I suppose." Subaru said through a sigh. "I'm 99.9 percent sure that you won't get attacked by vampires. Fresh air is good as well but… just be careful when dealing with seals—especially leopard seals. They're dangerous animals."
"I'll bet they are." I said with a smile on my face. I learned that one the hard way. Aside from that, though, I had the chance to lighten the mood. "But wait a minute… 99.9 percent? Does that mean that you believe that there could be vampires lurking in the darkness?"
Subaru smiled. "Well, there are a lot of strange occurrences that happen in the world. Who knows? Maybe vampires do exist and people just haven't been looking hard enough."
"Or maybe vampires have just gone out and stated what they were, knowing that they wouldn't be believed by the humans." I suggested with a wide grin on my face. This was too amusing.
Subaru rolled his eyes at me. "Caren, you are not a vampire. Stop suggesting it. Besides, you're supposed to be the mermaid princess, remember?"
I could hear the sarcasm in his voice but I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. This was far too amusing for my own good! Apparently I didn't have to tell him that I was a mermaid princess but when I went right out and said I was a vampire, he didn't believe me! Subaru gave me a confused look as I continued to giggle.
"I'm sorry, did I miss something here?" He asked, confused.
I was still grinning when I replied. "No, it's nothing at all. Besides, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"I suppose you're right." Subaru said with a frown. He instantly smiled right after which made me very happy. His eyes were sparkling again. "You know, I'm glad we had this talk. I feel so much better now."
"I'm glad." I stated with a smile, slightly pulling myself away from Subaru when I remembered that my arms were still wrapped around him. If my heart still worked, it would be sending blood to my cheeks right now.
Subaru must have noticed the awkwardness between us because I saw that his cheeks turned a pinkish colour. His heart was also speeding up as well. That made me smile. He was embarrassed. It was kind of cute.
"Well, uh, I should probably get some more work done. I still have a lot of information that I have to get processed."
I nodded and moved out of the way so that he could get up. My eyes fell upon the journal which I had put aside and curiosity was getting a hold of me. "I think I'm gonna go outside for a bit. I'll be nearby, I promise."
"Within my sight from the door, okay?"
I nodded towards Subaru's limitations and I headed for the door, picking up the journal on my way out. As soon as I was outside, I scanned the area for a decent spot to just sit and read in privacy. I wandered a fair distance away from Subaru's home before I planted myself in a pile of snow. I was still in Subaru's view so, this should be fine.
I looked down at the book in my lap and I carefully opened it to the first page. The first thing I looked at was the date. My eyes widened in shock. February 14, 999. This entry was written over a thousand years ago and on my birthday as well! My eyes quickly jumped to the first line of the entry and I became absorbed within the words on the page.
Human males are such primitive creatures. They are so simple minded and believe that they should have more power over women. To a human male, my writing in this book might be considered a crime against the church. I might be considered a heretic. However, my need to write down the events of this night seems vital.
I saw him for the first time in four years. He has changed so much from the boy I once knew him as. Although it is forbidden for me to do so, my heart yearns for his love. I believe that is what he wishes as well. No man has ever treated me with such compassion and kindness—especially not a human man. He is just so perfect. If there was only one way to celebrate the anniversary of my birth, it would be to hold him in my arms.
I've thought about going on land to meet with him. I've thought about showing him my truest affections for him. However, fate prevents me from doing so. Were I to reveal my identity, I would lose my very life. Is this such a risk that I would be willing to take? Although fate does not allow for this match, I have decided to take this risk to see my love and to make him realize my identity. I shall leave the ocean at dawn and seek out my love.
This mermaid's life intrigued me. It was so similar to Lucia's life that I found it hard to believe. However, this journal had captured me just like a good novel. I wanted to see where this was going. I wanted to see how this mermaid's experience on land must have been like. I quickly flipped the page and began reading the next entry.
February 15, 999
I have seen many horrifying things today. Things which I would not wish to ever again see. I have seen death in her darkest form and an act of heresy that is so great, I feel I have sinned for merely witnessing it.
The day started out quite well. I adjusted to having a human body quite well. I even found my way easily to the city where he lived. His father was a noble and owned a very large house. It would not be too difficult for me to find. However, the things I saw in that great city were terrible! The streets were littered with bodies of dead or dying men, women and children! Some humans even pushed carts with bodies stacked onto them as if to clear them away! I don't believe I have seen anything more frightful in my life!
I wanted away from the visions of death. I hurried through the city until I passed by an old abandoned church. The thought of an abandoned church surprised me. I thought that humans practiced the religion of Christianity. A church should not be abandoned this way. I felt the need to explore the barren place of holiness. That was when I saw his father.
He was praying to the evil one! He was worshipping the devil! My eyes beheld a frightful event in that small fraction of time. The evil one himself emerged within the room and spoke to the nobleman. A dreadful deal was made. His father would have to take away human life in return for great power and immortality. I did not wish to stay to see the rest of the events unfold. I would not be falsely accused of heresy were I to be caught there. I fled back to the ocean.
I do not know what I should do now. My love's father is the devil himself. How shall I ever be with my love if his father is a heretic?
All of this talk of heretics and heresy was beginning to bore me. So what if people were practicing a different religion? What about the guy that this mermaid loves? What was going on with him if his father was off and making deals with the devil? I just didn't get it. If this mermaid really loved the guy, she would've gotten more details, right?
I closed the book and let out a sigh. I didn't feel much like reading right now. I would try again later when I had nothing better to do. For now, I would just watch Subaru work. He was the most interesting person I knew on Antarctica. Well, he was the only person I knew on Antarctica.
I silently headed back for Subaru's home and I glanced longingly up at the sky. I could feel my heart aching as I thought of the vampire that stopped it. I still loved him a lot. I had gone far too long without my air. I wondered where he was right now. What was he doing? Was it possible that he had heard my voice—even though I was on the bottom of the earth? I closed my eyes tightly as I imagined the scene that must've taken place.
I could see him speaking to Miranda about certain matters concerning my life and how he was going to keep me safe. Then he would hear my tormented scream for help. I could see him tensing up, his beautiful golden eyes going wide with fright. "No, no, NO!" he would scream loudly as panic overwhelmed him. I could see Miranda attempting to calm him down but only making the matter worse. Then Mathias would scream out my name and go off looking for the creature that posed me any threat.
I could feel my eyes watering as I thought about Mathias. He would be so worried about me. He might feel as if he had failed to protect me. I might've made him feel this way. All because my pearl had to be drawn into that freakish hell. I felt the tears fall from the corners of my eyes and I felt overcome by sorrow. Sorrow for Mathias—no one else. I looked down at the journal in my arms, suddenly feeling compelled to read more. I planted myself on the ground and I flipped to the next entry.
February 25, 999
I fear that I have not written in quite a while. I have avoided the surface and have been staying with my sister in the Arctic Ocean.
Whoa! Hold on a minute! This mermaid had a sister in the Arctic Ocean? I was finding this hard to believe. This mermaid was almost exactly like me. This journal had been written over a thousand years ago! How could there be all of these connections? I stopped, trying to piece things together. This mermaid was in love with a human. She had a sister in the Arctic Ocean. She was getting caught up in supernatural things. It sounded a lot like me.
I then thought of Subaru's dream. I was the mermaid princess and Mathias was the vampire king. In the second entry of this journal, the mermaid mentioned witnessing an act of heresy—her lover's father making a deal with the devil. I had heard this story somewhere before. Mathias spoke of his father and how his father was the very first vampire. But how would that connect to this story. How did it connect to this mermaid? No, not just mermaid—mermaid princess. She couldn't possibly be referring to Mathias and his father, could she? No! If Mathias had known a mermaid princess, he would have told me! I had to keep reading; I had to figure this out.
Recently, I returned to the surface. My love had come to search for me. He was waiting by the water's edge. I remembered him rushing into the ocean to embrace me. He looked at me with those beautiful eyes of his. Oh, I do believe that I will never forget his eyes. They are the most magnificent shade of blue I have ever seen. They were light—just like the sky. I have seen no other eyes that can hold as much love and devotion as his. If I could, I would gaze into his eyes and become lost within them forever.
When I saw him today, he told me that he loved me. He said he wanted me for his wife. I accepted his proposal. Oh, I should hope that things will turn out alright for us. We will have the most perfect life together! After all, I am seventeen years of age. It is about time I was to wed. My life is almost half over. If I am not to marry now then, I don't believe I shall ever be married.
I thought deeply on what this girl had written. She was seventeen and she was suggesting that she should already be married? I shuddered at the thought. I was eighteen and I wasn't even considering marriage right now. However, I got something cleared up. Her love couldn't possibly be Mathias. Mathias didn't have light blue eyes that were full of love and devotion. He had gold eyes that were lustful and unforgiving. In fact, by the sounds of the guy that this mermaid princess was writing about, he was completely different from Mathias. Both his appearance and personality were completely different. He and Mathias would have been complete opposites.
I closed the book for now and got up off the ground. This must not have been the story that Subaru had told me. I still couldn't really believe the part in Subaru's story which mentions that the vampire king kills a mermaid princess. Mathias would never do that. Really? I thought that he was going to kill you the night that he turned you.
I tried to shut my pessimistic thoughts up and I headed for Subaru's home. Mathias wasn't going to kill me. He was going to turn me from the start. Was he really? Yes! Of course he was! Why was I even debating with myself? God, that vampire insanity must be kicking in.
"I'm back!" I said with a smile as I entered Subaru's home.
He looked over at me and waved. "Hey! Did it get too cold for you?"
I shook my head while setting the journal down on the couch. "I just got bored. Hey, where is your craptastic hot chocolate? I want some."
Subaru laughed at me before pointing to a cupboard. I grinned at him before I went to scavenge the cupboard he pointed at. I easily found the hot chocolate and I put some of the powdery mix into a mug. I then proceeded to put water in a kettle and waited for it to boil. I made my way back over to the couch and sat down while picking up the journal once more. I suppose I could read a bit more.
After a few pages of reading, the kettle began to whistle. I set the journal down and went back over to the mini kitchen to finish making my hot chocolate. When I turned around to go back to the couch, Subaru had gotten off his computer and was eyeing the journal.
"What is that?" He asked curiously.
"It's a journal. I found it when I was out last night." I explained as I sat back down.
"You found it?" He repeated sounding slightly surprised. "Where?"
"I found it in a crack in the ice." Along with the ruins of an ancient underwater palace with a bunch of dead mermaids who were trying to kill me and make me feel guilty for something I didn't do.
"Really?"
Subaru sounded mystified as he looked at the book in my lap. He couldn't take his eyes off of it. I didn't blame him though. I'd be interested too if someone found something like this in the most barren place in the world. I'd bet he'd be even more surprised if he saw he cover.
"Yeah. Apparently it was written over a thousand years ago. I think that the owner of it was a mermaid princess. However, the only thing that she goes on about is her lover and her lover's father who she keeps complaining is a heretic."
Subaru thought about my words for a while before answering. "Well, if this was written around a thousand years ago then, it was written in the late Dark Ages. Christianity was becoming a big thing then. Everyone was converting to it and whoever didn't was considered a heretic and would either be burned at the stake or would be excommunicated from the church."
I looked up at Subaru, a joking gleam in my eyes. "You seem quite informed on this stuff. Are you a historian as well?"
Subaru laughed, shaking his head. "No, I'm not. I just remember this stuff from a history course that I took in high school."
"Wow. Good memory." I said with a laugh.
I looked back down at the book in my lap. So that was the deal with all this talk of heresy. But wasn't the devil a part of Christianity? Wouldn't the mermaid's fiancé's father be considered a devil worshipper rather than a heretic? Well, I suppose it didn't matter. I yawned—something merely out of habit—and rested my head against Subaru's shoulder. I felt his arm fall around my shoulders and hold me there as he observed the words on the page I had been reading.
"It sounds like she really loved this guy," he murmured gently.
"Yeah, she really must have what with the way that she just goes on and on and on about him. They were going to get married and she kept going on about how she was excited to be his wife and would be able to bear his children." I explained with a smile.
The thought seemed silly to me. Most women didn't look forward to child birth or bearing a man's child. I certainly wasn't able to be that girl. Not anymore. There was no possible way that I was ever going to have children. I heard Subaru chuckle and I looked up at him.
"Who would ever want to risk giving birth to children? They might turn out evil like my younger brothers." He said through a laugh.
I chuckled softly before my reply turned quiet and somber. "I would…"
Subaru glanced at me, worry seeping into his eyes. "Caren…?"
I stayed silent recalling a memory of mine. I was young and didn't understand why I couldn't see Noel. I didn't like the fact that I had to be separated. I remembered saying that I wanted to have two baby girls and I would let them grow up together. I wouldn't separate them. But now… that would never happen. I could never have two baby girls.
"Caren, you… can't have children, can you?" Subaru said silently.
I looked at him slightly shocked. He seriously had the guts to say that to me? And how did he figure it out so quickly? A deep blush crossed his face and he looked away from me.
"Oh, I'm sorry for saying that. I don't know why I said it. I shouldn't have said it, I'm sorry."
I was surprised at how embarrassed Subaru had become. I guess some guys just say things without thinking. However, he seemed genuinely sorry and upset about what he said. I couldn't just leave him hanging like that and not say something.
"Don't be sorry, Subaru. You were absolutely right about me." I said quietly while looking back down at my lap. "It's just not something that I really think about, that's all."
Subaru became quiet and thoughtful. "Well, I am sorry if I said something that upset you. You just looked really sad when you said that you would risk having evil children."
I thought about what he said and decided that it was time to lighten the mood. I could tell that the subject was making him uneasy. I forced a grin on my face before taking on a joking tone to my voice. "Well, if I could have children, they would end up evil anyways. I'm a vampire, remember?"
"Oh, that's right." Subaru recalled, that joking tone reflecting in his voice. "You're an evil vampire with the most dastardly plans but forgot to arrange a place to stay when you decided to visit Antarctica."
My jaw dropped. There was another blow to my ego. Subaru was kind of a jerk. He wasn't being very nice to me. Then again, he was letting me stay with him when he really didn't have to. I guess I owed him that. But still…
"You are a jerk to me." I stated while softly punching his shoulder.
He grinned and ruffled my hair. "I know. I'm sorry. I just can't resist."
"'Can't'?" I repeated incredulously. "You mean you're still going to take hits at my slowly breaking ego?"
Subaru laughed. "I won't if you don't want me to. Although, I'll certainly miss it."
I rolled my eyes and shoved Subaru away from me while muttering the work 'jerk' through a smile. I could hear Subaru softly chuckling beside me. He sounded smug in his laugh and it made me shake my head. I watched him get up and go over to his computer to do more research. I smiled at him before sprawling myself across the couch to continue reading. I found it really hard to believe that, twenty-four hours ago, I was the most depressed creature in the entire ocean. I seemed so much happier now.
And I was happy.