Rachel belongs to me.
Rated PG: mild language.
Many thanks to Rach, both for lending her name to Rachel, and for contributing the central idea of New Year's resolutions. It's been a great year for me, fanfic-wise, thanks to everyone out there who's read, reviewed, emailed, and IM'd. Happy New Year to all!
This is set in my 'Year of Time' mild AU of Time Force, with the future Rangers coming from 2200 (now 2203).
Kindly take a moment to review...
The city. It sparkled beneath him, like a carpet of glowing jewels, spread out in lines of streets and towers reaching for the clouds just visible by reflected light in the night sky. It out-shone the moon, drowned out the stars. The life of it, the energy, seemed to reach out for him, wrapping him in its artificial reality of steel, brick, concrete, glass… The city. Some called it cold, heartless, remote. The same things some people said about him... But he felt its warm breath, the slow and powerful beat of its heart, watched its movements, knew their connection, felt himself one with it.
No matter what happened, he would always have this, and would always protect it. The city survived, and would see another New Year, partly because of him -- but more because of his teammates -- and because of her... But she was gone now, lost to him in every way. They would celebrate the beginning of 2203 without her.
There was a soft sound as the glass balcony door behind him slid open. "Alex?" Rachel's voice questioned. "Aren't you cold out here?"
Now that she mentioned it… he shivered. "Yeah, I guess so. Have they come yet?"
"Trip and Katie are on their way up."
"Good." She turned away, not looking back as they stepped inside the living room of his apartment, high in one of the residential buildings in the Time Force complex. A quick glance showed him everything set up for their celebration -- exactly as it had been five minutes ago, of course -- food and drinks on the table, a few bowls of snacks here and there, music playing in the background. Perfect.
And Rachel herself. He watched as she walked towards the door, pausing to run a hand along the edge of the table, also checking that everything was in place, looking comfortable but vaguely elegant in a deep red blouse and black slacks. Wearing his colors, it occurred to him, both of the colors he had worn as a Ranger, red and now black. She had pulled her hair back; it hung in a thick braid, almost reminding him… Might as well face it, everything tonight would remind him of Jen.
He glanced up, seeing Rachel at the door, watching him. They stared at each other for a moment. "You're thinking about her, aren't you?" she asked. "I can always tell."
He sighed. It wasn't the first time this had been an issue for them, and undoubtedly wouldn't be the last. "All of us worked with her. We had a few of these parties with her. I can't help it."
"So every time you're around Lucas, Trip, and Katie, you think about her? Alex…"
"Look, I knew her for a long time. We were engaged. You don't just forget about something like that."
She gave him a sharp look composed of both hurt and resentment. And then the knock came, the door opened and Trip burst in, seeming to fill the room with cheer as he grinned and greeted Rachel with a hug, then Alex with a handshake. Katie was less restrained; she hugged both of them, squeezing his ribcage until he protested.
"So how have you two been doing?" Trip asked as they both headed for the refreshments.
"Fine," Alex responded.
"We're almost ready to go with the new morpher," Rachel added, her voice cool and blank.
"Yeah?" Katie asked. "How soon?"
"We'll begin final testing in a few weeks. Then Command will have to decide on a new Ranger to use it."
"So we'll have a full five-member team again soon."
"Yes. With black replacing red, of course. And white replacing pink."
Rachel glanced at Alex, her expression unreadable; the others avoided looking at him. "It's okay, you know," he said with a trace of annoyance. "You can talk about Jen in front of me."
"Been almost a year she's been gone, hasn't it?" Trip asked.
"Just about."
"She and Wes are getting married soon, in 2004."
"Yes."
"Be nice if we could be there."
"I suppose it would." He shot a glance at Rachel, to see her looking back at him, her face closed.
"We could go, you know. Just a one-day trip, wouldn't hurt anything..."
"Are you out of your mind?" Alex demanded, more harshly than he had meant to sound. He paused to collect himself before going on. "Sorry. But you know it's against all the rules."
"But the risk would be minimal! We all have experience in that time, we know how to be careful, what harm could we do?"
"It's out of the question, Trip." Abruptly, he got up and went to the table, picked a bottle of wine and poured himself a drink. The bell rang again as he was turning back to his friends.
In a few moments the last members of their party arrived, Lucas and Nadira shedding their coats and making the rounds of hugs and kisses. They both looked flushed from the cold, excited, and happy. He couldn't help smiling as Nadira exclaimed over the food and drinks, the furniture, the decorations. She was a strange mixture of childish enthusiasm and growing dedication; this woman who had spent so much of her life in the shadow and under the thumb of her criminal father. Now she had turned her life around, done a decade of growing up in a little over two years. This party was partly for her, to celebrate her acceptance into Time Force as an officer.
"I think we should have a toast!" she cried now, when they were all back in the living room, drinks in hand.
"What to?"
"I don't know. Anything." She grinned.
"I have an idea," Rachel said. "New Year's resolutions. We can all say what we want to accomplish in the next year."
"I hate resolutions," Alex protested. "People never keep them."
"Well, we can try, can't we?" She turned to the others. "I'll go first. This year, I want to finish work on the full set of Quantum morphers. Make them better than before. Find a better security system than the voice lock."
"Rachel, that's just work," Nadira complained. "You're supposed to make a resolution that's personal. That means something."
"Like losing weight?"
"Well, something like that. What do you want that you're going to try to get this year?"
"Well, I suppose there is something…" Rachel's eyes moved to Alex's face, their depths carefully hidden before she lowered them and went on. "I resolve to get to know all of you better. You're Alex's teammates, after all. We should spend more time together. I know I'm not a Ranger, or even a TF officer, but I'd like to be sort of part of the team."
"How sweet!" came from Katie. "And you are part of the team, Rachel. We couldn't do what we do without you."
"That's right, we wouldn't have the morphers if you didn't help build them," Alex offered.
"Well -- my contribution's not all that important -- but thanks."
Their eyes met again, Alex seeing a trace of warmth this time, and hoping she could see into what he felt too. Then they were distracted as glasses were lifted, clinked together, smiling as they took their drinks.
"Who's next?"
"I'll go," Trip said. "Um… I guess it shouldn't be just about my work…" He grinned. "Okay, I resolve to get to be as cool as Lucas."
Lucas's voice rose above the general laughter. "That's impossible," he declared. "Don't set your goals so high."
"Oh, stop it, Lucas," Katie said. "Trip, you are cool. Don't change."
"Thanks, but I know I'm not."
"Why would you say something like that?" Katie's expression had become serious and concerned now.
"Well…" Trip smiled and shrugged. "I know most people think I'm -- kind of a freak or something. You know, the fact that I'm so smart. The psychic stuff too… and the hair doesn't help."
"Trip, don't ever call yourself a freak!" This time it was Lucas, looking outraged.
"Well, that's what people think. I know that's what they think. Might as well face it."
"He's right," Nadira said unexpectedly. "All of us who are different have to face it. I know people look at me funny. My hair, and -- and everything."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Katie said. As the others looked at her in surprise, she went on, sounding a little defensive. "Sometimes I wish my parents hadn't had me genetically engineered to be so strong. I hate it sometimes."
"What do you mean? It must be great to be strong like that!" Trip exclaimed.
"And I think it must be great to be smart like you are. But it makes you different. And with me…" She looked down at her hands, lying clasped in her lap. "Well, my resolution this year -- every year -- is to find a nice guy, eventually start a family of my own. But I know men look at me and think…" She looked up. "I know no guy wants a girlfriend who can beat him up. That they tell jokes about me behind my back. That people think I'd probably lose control and kill any guy I was -- you know -- with." Alex saw Lucas and Trip exchange a guilty glance in the brief silence that followed.
"Katie, I'm sure no one with any brains seriously thinks that," Alex said, with a stern glare at the two other men, who had the good grace to look ashamed. "You're a wonderful woman, and someday you'll find someone who won't care how strong you are."
"That's right, Katie," Trip said. He dropped an arm over her shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. "I think you're great. I like it that you're strong." She offered him a slightly shaky smile.
Alex fought off the sudden vision of a green-haired, brown-skinned baby with Trip's brains and Katie's muscles, and said briskly. "So who's next? Nadira? Lucas?"
"I'll go." Lucas seemed to consider for a moment and then said, "I want to win the Grand Raceway this year."
"A race. Might have known," Rachel murmured. "What is it with men and vehicles?"
"Don't you want anything more than to win a race?" Trip asked.
"Well…" He glanced around and then looked down. "I'm thinking of enrolling in a poetry course."
"You are?" Katie glanced at Trip as they both tried to stifle a laugh. "I thought you'd never want to write a poem again, after the last time." Nadira lifted a brow, looking slightly annoyed. Alex wondered why, but didn't want to interrupt.
"I wouldn't mind being able to do more than drive cars, pilot ships and fix engines. I'd like to do something creative, like writing poetry. I mean, there's more to me than racing and dressing nice and acting cool. Maybe you don't believe it, but I can be sensitive, too."
"I know you can, Lucas, honey," Nadira said, taking his hand. They smiled at each other dreamily, obviously forgetting about the rest of them until Rachel spoke up, sounding amused.
"Nadira, I guess it's your turn," she said.
"I guess so." She grinned. "My resolution is to work really, really hard at Time Force, and someday become a Ranger."
"A what?" Alex said. It came out a little more astonished -- and more rude -- than he had intended. He glanced at the others to see Trip, Katie, and Rachel looking very surprised also.
"That's my goal," Nadira said cheerfully. "I know they'll probably never give it to me. But I can try. And maybe someday I can make up for what Daddy did."
"Yeah, who knows," Lucas said. "Dira's going to be a great officer, I know. Hopefully Command won't hold her background against her forever."
"I did some terrible things in the past," she went on. "I know a lot of people will never trust me, because of that, and because I'm Ransik's daughter. And let's face it, because I'm a mutant. But if I work really hard -- well, everyone should get a second chance, shouldn't they?" She paused, her face serious for once. "I guess what I really want is to put the past behind me. In every sense. Make a new life, and do something worthwhile with it."
"I'll drink to that," Lucas murmured. They raised their glasses again, clinked and drank. Lucas smiled suddenly and added, "Maybe you'll even be our new white Ranger. You'll be eligible to apply by the time the morpher's ready for assignment."
"Maybe." She grinned again. "I'm glad it's not pink. It would so clash with my hair!"
As the laughter died down, Alex stood, and carried his empty glass to the table again. He busied himself with pouring a fresh drink, listening to the murmur of voices, aware of footsteps approaching. Rachel's footsteps, stopping beside him. She picked up a bottle and fiddled with it for a moment, then glanced up at him.
"Maybe you should do it," she said softly, so only he could hear.
"Do what?"
Now her eyes were back on the glass she was pouring wine into. "You can't always live your life by the rules, Alex. Maybe you need to say goodbye. Maybe it would help."
And it was clear. "You mean I should go to Jen's wedding." She nodded. "Rachel, you know I can't do that. Or let them do it."
"Why not? You're all trained officers. You've all been there before. You know there's almost no chance of any damage to history. What are you afraid of?"
"I'm..." But he had no real answer, none that made any sense. What indeed was he afraid of? Of seeing Jen pledge her life and love, forever, to another man? Was he pathetic enough to still have some shred of hope of getting her back? Did he want her back? Or was it just -- hurt pride, a touch of jealousy, that thought that sometimes still threaded through the back of his mind... What does he have that I don't?
"Hey, Alex, get back here! You're not getting out of this!" The call pulled their attention back to their friends. Rachel smiled at them and went back to her seat, with Alex following.
"Is it my turn?" he asked, putting his glass down. "Okay."
Resolutions. The decision to do something different with one's life, to make a choice, and follow through. He already knew what he wanted to do. What he had to do, if he wanted a future that included any real happiness. He was well on the way, but… "I guess I want to put the past behind me, too. To -- to say goodbye. Forever. Not to forget, but to go into the future without any second thoughts. With no holding back." He held his hand out to Rachel. "With help, I'm already doing it. But I'll always need my friends to back me up."
"Alex…" She moved closer, leaned over and kissed him gently, squeezing his fingers. They smiled, for just a moment conscious only of each other, as he felt a knot he hadn't been entirely aware of untangling inside him.
"Hey, guys, look at the time!" Lucas was up and at the table in a moment, picking through the bottles before he grabbed the champagne.
"I can uncork that for you," Katie said, following him.
"Let me, I'm an engineer," Trip said.
"Nah, just watch the master at work."
"Hurry up, it's almost time…"
"Watch out!" Laughter as the sound of a cork popping rang through the room, followed by the fizzing of bubbles and the splashing of glasses being filled.
"Happy New Year, everyone!"