Vanity sat on the couch late watching TV, he shifted through the channels. Nothing caught his attention he was looking for something to help him preserve his youthful appearance. Despite being the youngest of the pack. He was going to give up and go to sleep when a special ad came on.

"Now introducing Vita Vim, the male vitality enhancing pill."

He rose an eyebrow quizzically, he was intrigued.

"Live strong, be active and get the best performance when you need it. It's the perfect product to keep up your youthful vigor."

"This is exactly what I need to get an edge on the plebeians here. My youthful exuberance trumps theirs' in comparison." He smiled smugly. Now I need to know the p-

"Price I'm glad you asked…" Convenient. He thought

"With three low payments of 29.99 you get the best performance every night, just ask our customers..."

A blond haired middle aged man appeared on the screen.

"In my old age I just cant seem to get the same energy as I used to." The screen showed the same man tired in front of a bed, bending over with his hand on his head just as he reached the bed head, while a young brunette read a novel, "But now with Vita Vim I can keep up the best of them." The screen flashed white and now showed the man in bed laid back with his hands behind as back looking satisfied while as the woman smiled.

The announcer came back on again,

"Get your product by calling this number and ordering yours today!' The voice then speed up to the point where vanity could even acknowledge the warning. "Please note: Vita Vim is not responsible for any side effects this product my cause which include, heart failure, depression, ringing in your ears, or sudden hearing loss, chest pain or heavy feeling, pain spreading to the arm or shoulder, nausea, sweating, general ill feeling, irregular heartbeat, swelling in your hands, ankles, or feet, shortness of breath, vision changes, feeling light-headed, fainting. Please call your doctor if it lasts for more than 4 hours."

Vanity quickly wrote down the number...now he just needed to get Nerd's credit card.

After four weeks the package arrived in the zoo post office. Two zoo keepers looked over the packages, Vanity watched barely making up to the window.

"Really, man?" he shook his head.

The other man blushed frustrated as he looked at the box.

"That is not MINE!" He pointed to the box.

"Whatever man, Just watch out for the side effects."

"Like I need this!" He tossed it out the window close to Vanity, he quickly grabbed it and ran to the exhibit.

The panda paraded the box over his head in triumph in the living room. Prozac noticed and smiled.

"What's that you got there Vanity?"

"If you must know, it's going to help keep my youth vigor." He ripped open the box and pulled out the contents. One of the bears recognized the product and starting chuckling.

"That's very intuitive of you Vanity, I'm glad to see your thinking far ahead. May I see it?"

Vanity smiled proudly as he placed the small box in Prozac's hands. He looked over the product over and froze immediately, his eyes bulged out and his jaw fell to the floor.

"What?" Vanity said curiously.

Lech smiled knowingly "Maybe,' he snorted 'he couldn't handle the excellent 'enhancement' this product provides."

Gay rolled his eyes, but still smirked as he knew Vanity didn't realize what was happening. Fighter rose an eyebrow as he saw their leader motionless as held the product.

"A speechless Prozac?' He got up off the couch with and walked up to the Prozac, He still stood there frozen, his jaw agape still. He snapped his fingers to gain his attention still no response. "What does the back of the box contain a curse word or,' He made a mock gasp 'Vulgarity?" He snatched the box from him.

"Hey hands off!" Vanity narrowed his brow.

"Yea the runt wants to improve his 'performance' Lech snorted again.

He inspected the box, first he narrowed his brow, then he rubbed his chin as if he was pondering what to say, and finally he looked up from the box with a closed smile. Vanity was clearly out of the loop, so he decided to make the situation obvious. He cleared his throat and read what was at the back of the box;

"Guaranteed to satisfy your partner. This product will spice up your sex life, no holds barred action. Excitement guaranteed or your money back. Note: this doesn't include credit or shipping." The picture even included a woman smiling seductively at the reader.

He then gave the box back to Vanity and smirked. Lech let out a bray laughter as he saw Vanity's face, it was a mix of shame and horror. Evil noticed this and smiled enjoying the potential scarring that he was going through right now.

"I hear the side effects are terrible, but look on the bright at least you last longer."

Gay gave a small chortle while the other two, Lech and Fighter held each under their arms and cachinnated in delight, however Fighter briefly stopped when he realized something.

"Where did you-"

"Nerd's credit card."

"How much did this cost?"

Vanity remained silent as he looked at the ceiling sheepishly. Nerd walked in holding his stick, Evil's bane. He was not amused.

"Who stole my credit card?" He said patted the club in his hand.

The black bear looked at Vanity and stated flatly. "Run."