The Drabbles of Random Deaths Begin…
Starring:
Me, Shannon
HollyluvsArty, known as Eve
Artemis Fowl Characters
Harry Potter Characters
Random Characters from old books and movies
Andrea and Isis (characters from one of my fictions)
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(Crummy old happy music starts playing)
Narrator: Hello Timmy!
Timmy: (looks startled) Oh, hello mister! You scared the jeepers' outa me!
Narrator: (chuckles annoyingly) Well, Timmy. Do YOU know how to raise someone from the dead? (Timmy shakes head) Well let's go find out how!
(Both skip happily to Artemis's lab)
Shannon: (sitting on the counter staring) Who the hell are you?
(Happy music stops)
Narrator: Well, me and Timmy are here to see how you raise someone from the dead!
HollyluvsArty aka Eve: Get 'em!
(Artemis Fowl characters jump out from hiding and start beating the narrator and little Timmy)
Artemis: It's Timmy and I you moron.
Narrator: Twitch
Chix: (looks at nails) So… Holly, like to go on a date?
Holly: (breaks nose)
Chix: (tries to stop bleeding) Maybe some other time then.
Artemis: (walks up to Holly) Holly, would you, by any chance like to go out with me?
Holly: Like a date?
Artemis: Well ye-
Holly: (jumps into Artemis's arms) I'd love too!
Artemis: No, I love you. (Artemis and Holly start making out)
Shannon and Eve: (excited squeals and giggles)
Harry Potter: What's this? We're not at Hogwards!
Harmoiny- I forget how to spell her name: (mutters some magic word and points wand)
(Molecules start piling together and form Commander Root)
Julius: W-where am I?
Holly: (stops kissing Artemis) You're alive! (Hugs Root)
Artemis: (mutters) Thanks a lot…
Shannon: (slaps Holly) You get back there and kiss Artemis!
Holly: (punches)
Shannon: (falls to the floor)
Eve: (rushes by my side) Oh no!
Harry Potter: Can anybody-
Shannon: Screw you. (Instantly comes back and starts beating Harry)
(Holly and Eve try to pull me back)
Shannon: Must… kill…!
Little Timmy: Twitch
Harmoiny: Oh for God's sake! (Waves wand and Harry and her proof out of there)
Narrator: Twitch
Ron: What about me?
Foaly: No one cares about you! They care about me…
(Ron sadly walks away)
Eragon: Look Sapphira, this must be the future!
Sapphira: Must be. I've never seen a place like this before.
Shannon: (looks confused) Did the dragon try to say something?
Eragon: She can only talk to me. I'm her rider.
Luke: Look Leia, this must be the past!
Foaly: Okay, why are you all here?
Eve: Yeah, this is an Artemis Fowl drabble.
Andrea and Isis: BEAT IT!
Luke: You people never respect characters from other GOOD books!
(Everyone gasps)
Shannon: Oh no you did-n't!
(Holly, Andrea, Shannon, and Isis growl and raise fists)
Other characters: (back away)
Little Timmy: Twitch
Eve: Am I not supposed to DO something? I've done nothing so far…
Artemis: It's okay… I'll give you something to do… (Kisses)
Eve: You're kissing me?
Artemis: I'm practicing for Holly.
Eve: (shrugs) Kissing Artemis is kissing Artemis. Better not tell him that he's a good kisser or he'll stop.
Commander Root: Be well… GOD that's such a dreadful goodbye line! (Explodes)
Narrator: (comes back to life) And so, the commander died, and we might never know how to raise someone from the dead, but we do know-
Shannon: (hits narrator over head with shovel) There.
Eve: (looks at the flies and maggots crawling over Luke, Leia, Sapphira and Eragon's dead bodies) That can't be good for the carpet.
(Vultures circle overhead)
Minerva's Head in Vultures Body: Artemis I love-
Shannon: (shoots with hunting gun). It's bird hunting season! Muhahahahaha.
Eve: Muhahahahahaha.
Holly: Hey Artemis.
Artemis: (swoops over and smooches)
Shannon and Eve: (giggles)
Little Timmy: Twitch
Shannon: (looks around) We better stash the bodies.
Eve: (grabs shovel) Let's go then.
(Walks off into sunset)
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Should I continue? Please review and tell me what you think.
Your Evil Authoress,
Shannon