Hello all, I am sorry I have taken this long break from Blue Bloods but I have been working on a Criminal Minds piece and also a Chicago PD one as well. However TIS THE SEASON, and I am all for my first holiday based fanfiction and what other show to use but Blue Bloods! I have loved the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," since my mother made it a Christmas tradition to watch when I was six and now fifteen years later here I am using it for my story. I am sure there is something like this out there but I'm writing this one anyway, please Read and Review and let me know if you like it! Love Always Layna.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Christmas time; a time where everyone grows closer, forget petty problems, and become closer, this however was the opposite of Jamie Reagan's situation. This month had been nothing but utter chaos; he had to deal with it both at work and with his family. To be perfectly honest he could not wait for Christmas to be over. No he is not the Grinch, he was just fed up with the amount of pressure this time of the year brought for both job and home.
Work had been hectic, they had sent him on tour on the Friday after Thanksgiving and it had been insane with the amount of shopping that had been going on but ever since that the fights at stores had only escalated, he was beginning to wonder if the spirit of Christmas was just a myth. The fights of strangers were not even the worst, it was him and Eddie that had really gotten the water boiling.
The incident three days ago, Eddie and him were having lunch when a call came in and they rushed to the scene. It ended up being a violent man beating up a man at a bar. When the duo had stepped in to stop the perp fists were flying. The man had Eddie pinned down and when Jamie had tasered the man Eddie had become upset with him. Apparently making sure the man that was three times her size did not crush her was a stupid idea. Not only did Eddie accuse him of not thinking she could handle her own but he was also pulled in by IA and question because the man was going to sue. Luck for him no legal action was pursued but it was still a pain.
If work wasn't enough Jamie was having enough problems with his family. Somehow after the taser incident his father had become a little uneasy with Jamie working with Eddie, he thought there was a romance happening (well Jamie felt something for her but he wasn't going to admit it). Danny had joined in on the harassment when teased Jamie about his IA investigation. To say the least this month was going horribly.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Christmas tradition at the Reagan household was to bake cookies and watch an insane amount of Christmas movies. Jamie had this day off and lucky for him, but unfortunate for the family, both Frank and Danny were working. He had enjoyed this tradition since before he could remember. His first real memory was sitting in the kitchen with his mother, grandmother, and sister while his father, grandfather and brothers played football outside. He had to be about five and he remembered Erin helping him frost the cookies and throw on an obscene amount of sprinkles, enough to make anyone go into a diabetic coma.
Today he sat beside Nicki and Linda, Erin was baking and the boys were eagerly awaiting the finished products, they were eating more of the decorations then what was actually going on the cookies.
"Are you done with your Christmas shopping, Uncle Jamie?" Nicki asked cheerfully as she smeared some red frosting on a candy cane shaped cookie.
"Almost, I have a few more things; believe it or not I have trouble with deciding on gifts for this family."
"All we need is your smiling face," Linda teased as she took the baking sheet from Erin; Jamie gave her a goofy grin.
"What about you Nicki?"
"Yes I have; bought, wrapped and under the tree, I started early."
"Don't know where she gets that," Erin commented.
"Lord knows you are a procrastinator when it comes to shopping," Linda joked, getting her a playful glare. Jamie set down his candy cane cookie getting a giggle from Nicki.
"What," He asked with a smirk.
"Your cookie is an odd combination of colors for a candy cane that's all." She said picking up another cookie.
"It's unique, I like it," He smiled but it soon faded when he heard the door close and his brother's voice.
"Hello all," He called as he hung up his coat.
"DAD," the boys yelled in excitement, both racing to him and nearly tackling him the ground. He bear hugged them and then turned his attention to his wife.
"I thought you had to work all day," She said giving him a kiss.
"I'm out early, hey sis." He gave Erin a peck on the cheek.
"Hi Uncle Danny," Nicki said, giving him a hug.
"Hey Nicki, I like those, nice looking cookies. Hey Jamie," He said as he reached his kid brother, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"Hey Danny," He had still held on to the anger from his fight that had happened four days ago but he realized maybe he should drop it.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
They had just finished "A Christmas Story," and already Jack and Sean had passed out from exhaustion even though it was only 3:30pm, Danny had carried them upstairs to looked at his watch and decided he should get going. He go up and stretched, His movement got the attention of the family.
"Where are you going Jamie," Erin asked as he walked to get his shoes.
"I have work remember, I have the night shift."
"Oh, I forgot, you are going to be so dead tomorrow."
"I have tomorrow off so I definitely will get my sleep," he smiled pulling on his jacket, it was heavy snowfall and he knew tonight he would definitely be trudging through snow and a possible blizzard as the weatherman had predicted.
"Well try not to taser anyone tonight," Danny laughed but Jamie was not amused.
"Shut up Danny," He said annoyed.
"Oh calm down kid I'm only joking." Danny said with a stern tone.
"Just back off of me on it okay its water under the bridge." Jamie said tired of this conversation.
"Boys behave," They heard Henry call from the kitchen.
"I would if Harvard could take a joke!"
"You know Danny I don't have to listen to this; you have had more IA investigations than the whole rest of the family put together!" Jamie retorted, his anger rising.
"But not for being in love with my partner," Danny yelled back.
"Can I just remind you that Jack and Sean are asleep upstairs," Erin added in but they weren't listening, instead they ignored the fact that Erin, Nicki and Linda were even in the room.
"I am not in love with Eddie, it is against the rules!"
"Oh come on Jamie, everyone knows it's obvious the way you are with her and I can tell you put those feelings in front of the job!"
"No I don't, are you calling me a bad cop?" Jamie was yelling, past his calm kind of anger.
"You are too soft for this job," Danny yelled back.
"Oh, here we go," Jamie, said throwing his hands up in the air and then heavily dropping them to his sides.
"I am just saying, you want to save everyone and you can't."
"I know that, you know what I am so sick of you telling me how I made a bad career choice, I have been on the job for five years, I know what I am doing!"
"Oh, five years, you don't know it all Jamie; you haven't even made it to detective!" Danny regretted the words as soon as they slipped out, he watched as they slapped Jamie in the face. Jamie's face flushed and his breathing grew heavier, he could not even speak after that, he just got up and left.
"Kid," Danny called back but he knew Jamie was not going to come back; instead, he was greeted by three glaring sets of eyes from the women of the family.
"Why to go," Erin said.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Jamie stormed into the precinct, still fuming from his conversation with Danny, he was so sick of his brother getting on his case. He quickly changed and ran to roll call just in time for Renzulli calling out the names . He glanced down the line and spotted Eddie, she was not really taking to him as much, when she saw him look at him she quickly looked forward with a frown on her face. Renzulli finished roll call and the daily announcements and let the group disperse.
"Hey Reagan," The caller was Kara Walsh, Jamie gave her a weak smile, he wasn't really in the mood to be as happy as her.
"Hey Kara, how is riding Sampson?"
"Great, but I'm with you today,"
"I am?"
"Yeah, said it on the line up, Sarge put Janko with Marty, guess we did a swap." Jamie's frustration only grew; Eddie was being so stubborn over this. "Is everything okay, I can see if we can switch back."
"No, this is great, I mean maybe Sampson will let her drive," He joked, Kara's face lit up with a smile.
"Let's get going, you drive, I think I will like being chaffered around."
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Jamie sat in the car waiting for Kara to comeback with lunch, it was a boring day, many people were in their homes waiting out this storm and it was getting rather bad, he could barely see in front of him. His phone buzzed lighting up with Erin's picture; he knew she was checking up on him.
"Hey Erin," He answered.
"Hey Jamie, I just called to see how tour was going," She was lying, and though she was good in a courtroom with hiding things with him she was never good at it.
"It's really dead right now which is a good thing but I know that is not why you called." There was silence over the phone before she spoke again.
"Listen, he didn't mean it, you know Danny he doesn't think before he speaks."
"Why do you always defend him?" Walsh had just entered the car in the middle of the hostility.
"I am not Jamie; we are all just worried about you, being a cop is a huge thing and after Joe..."
"I wish you wouldn't use Joe as an excuse, I miss him too and I know how he died was tragic, it broke me too but I mean seriously I have been on the job for Five years!" He glanced over at Walsh who was eating and trying to look like she was not listening in; Jamie put his hand over the phone and mouthed a sorry.
"Jamie, it isn't easy, we were ready for you to be a lawyer and then Joe died and you just changed course, I just am worried for you and is Danny, you have the kindest heart but…"
"But what I let it get in the way of the job," There was silence over the phone confirming the statement. "Listen Erin, I am sick of this family thinking I can't be a cop, I have done everything to prove myself and I'm just tired of trying to break free from Joe's death meaning I am going to die too, you never do this with Danny, is he superman or something?"
"No, Jamie you are just the baby of the family and…"
"Well I am not a baby, listen I have to go, I have to get back to my job, and I just wish you all would support me." He hung up the phone without waiting for a response before throwing it on the dash.
"I'm sorry Walsh, I brought a family problem into the car, I didn't want to make it awkward."
"No Jamie I get it, its fine, shall we drive?" She asked, taking a sip of her drink, he nodded and put the car into drive.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
They ended the tour with one arrests just after his phone call with Erin. After changing back into his civilian clothes he said goodbye to Walsh and a few others and trudged his way out into the snowy morning. The snow had covered everything in a thick blanket of white fluff leaving a bright and brilliant image of winter wonderland; however, for Jamie and his bad mood it only made him more frustrated when he got to his car to find it lost amongst a mountain of snow.
"Great," he mumbled to himself, he pulled his gloves from his coat pocket and slid them on, he just wanted to go home, and he was exhausted as he had been up for almost 24 hours. Adding in to the factor that he was starving, he had gotten two bites into his lunch before they had gotten a call to a robbery that had been a takedown in record time. He only lived about a twenty-minute walk and really, he needed a walk to clear his head. As he walked the long trudge home the thought about his family and his friends, somehow he had found a way to make a happy holiday to a month of fights. He did not want it that way but he somehow found a way. He didn't blame himself completely because there always two sides to a fight; for example his brother, Danny had really been laying into him about being a cop and sure he could have been calmer in a response but he was sick of hearing the same old thing. His dad had been all over him with the no in house relationships, he knew that but he could not help what he felt about Eddie and in his defense, he had controlled his actions. Eddie was pissed because of Jamie trying to keep her safe and sure, they have been tense toward each other lately but he was only trying to help. Erin was his last fight of the week so far, he had been rude to her though and he knew it she was just worried but again he was sick of being told by both of them he should not have been a cop, maybe it would just make it easier if he was never born.
He passed maybe two people in the whole walk though through the white flurry he could barely make them out. He was only about five minutes out, he was freezing and covered in snow, his nose, and cheeks nipped by the cold making them a pinkish red, he had lost feeling in his fingers and the cold wet snow seeped through his head making him feel like an icicle. His misfortune continued when he slipped on a patch of ice and landed hard on the sidewalk.
"Woah there kiddo, you better be careful." The voice seemed so familiar but Jamie could not place his finger on it. The white flurry made it hard for Jamie to see who the man was but he was able to see the hand the stranger offered to help him up.
"Thank you," Jamie said gratefully as he brushed off the snow, which was damn near, impossible.
"Hey it's no problem but I mean come on Jamie you and ice are not friend remember ice hockey." Jamie's head flew up looking at the man, the wind knocked out of him when he saw the man. It was impossible, it could not be but here he was looking at his dead brother, the same goofy grin the one that Jamie constantly saw when he thought about him.
"Hello Little brother…"
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
"Joe," Jamie said in disbelief, he reached a gloved hand and toughed his brother's arm before retracting it back quickly. His mind was swirling, he must be seeing things but he had touched Joe and he was real.
"Yes, it is me Jamie, no you are not seeing things I was sent here by the big man upstairs because of your last comment."
"Last comment," Jamie asked confused.
"The whole dramatic, I wish I was never born," Jamie's face grew serious.
"Yeah, so what I'm sick of the family saying I have been bad choices, I am sick of disappointing them."
"You haven't disappointed them, they are just…"
"Worried, I get it Joe, I am just so tired of trying to prove myself to them, that I am okay and that I am good at my job!"
"Hey I know you are good at the job, hell they all know but that is what scares them the most Jamie, don't be quick to forget I was good too." Jamie frowned; his heart pinged with hurt and loss of not having Joe there anymore.
"I know and I am not saying I am invisible because no one is but I can't keep having the shadow of your death hanging over me, it hurt when you died and I swore that I wouldn't put them through that again."
"That's a tough thing to promise yourself."
"I know I just feel like they worry way to much, and we fight about so much more than just me being a cop."
"So you think they would be better off if you were never born?" Jamie just shrugged, he wondered if maybe they would be better off without the middleman. "You are wrong Jamie and that is why I am here, to take you too how life is without Jamie Reagan."
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
First chapter, hope you like it, read and review!