"PERRY! PERRY! PERRY!"
Perry ignored Phineas.
"PEEEERRRRRYYY! OH PERRY PERRY PERRY PERRYKINS!"
Perry covered his eyes with his paws. It was raining outside, so Phineas and Ferb were unable to create an invention.
However, Phineas had thought up a wonderfully annoying game to play. It was called "Let's see how many times we have to call Perry to annoy Perry".
The way Perry saw it, Phineas had already won. He was VERY annoyed at the moment.
Perry got up and crawled underneath Ferb's bed.
"Perry?" Phineas asked. Not an annoying call, just a confused one.
Perry squeezed behind a box.
"I'm sorry, Perry. I guess we overdid it…"
Perry stayed where he was, watching them. It was hard, but he had to keep the boys thinking he was a mindless animal that couldn't understand a word they said.
Phineas sat down on the floor and sighed.
Perry couldn't take it. He emerged from under the bed, shook himself off, and chattered.
Phineas ran over to him and gave him a huge hug. "Sorry, Perry."
Perry smiled a little. Phineas never made him THAT angry.
Well, just so long as he didn't play a Kendrine Adems song.
Perry opened up his closet.
"Cleaning out your closet?" Pinky the Chihuahua asked, coming up to him.
"Nope." Perry pulled out a box. "I found something for my box."
"Nothing unsanitary or food-related?" Pinky asked nervously.
"Whaddya mean unsanitary? …Oh. Darren's told you about Mr. Stitch, huh?"
Perry kept a lot of things in his box, like photographs and his blankets. He also had Steve the sandwich and Mr. Stitch, one of his stitches that he'd kept to remember the day he'd saved the agency.
"No worries, Pinky. It's a snowglobe." Perry held the small object up for Pinky to see.
Pinky squinted. "What's in it?"
"A baby cow and a giant penguin!"
"How does that even make sense?"
"It doesn't! This is the first snowglobe that's ever confused me. So it goes in my box."
"What's its name?"
"Pinky, I don't name everything. It's just a snowglobe." Perry put it into the box.
"I really think you should take Steve and Mr. Stitch out. Put Steve in the freezer or something."
"Steve belongs in my memory box. If I put him in a freezer, I might mistake him for an ordinary sandwich and eat him."
"Buddy, NO ONE would mistake that green thing for an ordinary sandwich."
"I am not puttin' Steve in the freezer. And Mr. Stitch stays in that box. If it weren't for Mr. Stitch, you know, my leg would have been-"
"Too much information." Pinky hid his face.
Suddenly the emergency alarm went off.
"QUICKLY!" Monogram yelled, running into the room. "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! FIGHT TO GET TO THE FRONT! GET OUT AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE! GET OUTSIDE!"
"Sir…" Carl held up a paper. "There's a certain way to do a fire drill."
"My way is better. It'll get more people out. RUN, BOYS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
"It says you must file the animals quietly and calmly to the nearest exit."
"RUN!"
Perry stuck his box back in his closet and calmly followed Pinky to the nearest exit.
They walked out into the grass. Admiral Acronym was already outside with a few agents. She motioned over to Pinky to join her group, since he was technically her responsibility.
Sam Sideblow, the groomer, was lining up some agents that had been with him when the alarm started.
Perry joined the line with the agents in his group.
After a moment, Monogram came out. Carl was leading some more animals calmly to the lines.
"That was just a drill." Monogram said. "But we have to wait until the alarm stops."
The animals waited.
Perry pulled out his videophone and pressed a few buttons.
"No messages." Said the phone.
Perry continued to press the buttons.
"Nomessages-nomessages-no-nononmeemmemememe…"
Darren yanked the phone out of Perry's hands. "Perry, CHILL."
The phone started to ring. Perry grabbed it back and answered it. "Hello?"
"Would you like to buy a vacuum cleaner?"
"NO." Perry hung up.
"Been waiting for the vacuum man, or is there something else going on?" Darren asked.
Perry sighed. "Well…"
"Everything okay at home?"
"Yeah."
"Everything okay here?"
"Yup."
"Everything okay with Poppy and Palmer?"
"Pal's fine."
"And Poppy?"
Perry didn't answer.
"Is this a Poppy's-sick thing or a Poppy-got-mad thing?"
"The second one."
"What happened?"
Perry stuck his phone back in his fur pocket. "Well, we just got into sort of a tiff… I won't go into all the details."
"What tiff? Did you call her clothes dumb or something?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Perry turned away. "She'll call."
"Why don't you just call her?"
"I'm not desperate. Friends fight. We'll cool off."
"Follow me!" Monogram said, the alarm silenced. "See, what did I tell you? Nothing to panic about!"
Perry tried to keep his eyes open. It was about three in the morning.
And he was STILL typing up his Villain Report.
Annually, all agents were required to type one up. It had to include what structures the villain had built each day and their function, not to mention the reason why it had been built.
He was almost on the last inator, the one his nemesis Heinz Doofenshmirtz had built the day before.
He lay his head down on the control panels of his computer and closed his eyes.
And then, he was in a cookie forest. Ponies were dancing in a circle. In the center of the circle sat Major Monogram.
"Run as fast as you can!" He was telling the ponies. "The fire alarm is about to beep!"
The ponies ignored him. They continued to spin in a circle.
A cowboy was strumming a guitar nearby.
The ponies spun faster and faster. Papers were flying in many directions.
The cookies in the forest turned into moldy sandwiches.
Perry woke up then. He wiped a bit of drool from his mouth and looked at his watch.
It was eleven. He'd slept for a lot longer than he intended.
"There you are!" Brandon the bulldog called into his lair, startling him. "You need to come into the main room. Monogram wants to talk."
Perry followed him. Monogram was sitting at the big table in the main room. Agents sat around him.
Perry took an empty chair next to Peter the panda.
"As you all know, it's about time for you all to get your bonus checks." Monogram said.
"WOOP! YEAH, BABY!" Cried Kyle the kangaroo, jumping out of his seat and fist-pumping the air. "OH, MAMA! WOO, HOWDY! YEAH! OH MAN! UH-HUH!"
The agents and Monogram stared at him.
Kyle looked around. Very slowly, he sat back down.
Monogram continued. "I'll hand them out now. Some of you, though, will need to complete some unfinished tasks until you can get them. Peter?"
Peter walked up to Monogram. Monogram handed him his check. "You may do whatever you want with these. You may cash them in now, you may save them for later…"
Peter stuffed his check into his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and burped. Happily, he left the room.
Monogram was quiet for a moment. "Or you may simply… not use them at all. Kyle?"
Kyle took his check.
"Darren? Pinky? Marvin?"
Soon, only Perry and Devon the dog were left.
"I'm sorry, you two, but you still need to finish some things… Devon, you haven't returned your medical forms… Perry, you neglected to submit your Villain Report… please make sure you email me that… and also you may recall that your offspring… caused a few hundred dollars in damages to the agency."
Perry started to protest.
"Don't panic, you don't have to pay it. We'll just need five extra hours of work to make up for it. Coming in nights should do the job."
Perry sighed. It seemed like he never had any time for himself these days. He'd already been putting in extra hours anyway. Monogram would often call him unexpectedly, because Doof was just such an active villain…
But that wasn't considered extra work.