Title: Our Mrs. Sheppard
Pairing: Sparky
Spoilers: Nothing specific. We'll say through season 3.
Disclaimer: I don't own them or Firefly. sigh
Summary: Sometimes John's off-world shenanigans catch up with him. Sparky.
Author's note: The idea for this story came from an episode of Firefly. If you've seen Firefly, I'm sure you can guess which one. If you haven't, go watch it now….after you read this, of course. Let me know what you think!
Chapter 1- The happy couple
He should have known that this conversation was going to be trouble just from the way Elizabeth had addressed him when she called him to her office. Colonel. Since their first year in Atlantis, Elizabeth rarely used his title, calling him John most of the time instead. The times she used his rank, with or without Sheppard immediately following it, could be categorized one of three ways. Obviously, she would call him Colonel Sheppard when talking with the SGC or his subordinates. Second to this was when she was angry with him and his name would come out in a carefully controlled voice. On rare occassions, but really those were the most memorable, his rank was like a fond nickname, often in response to him referring to her as 'Doctor' in a teasing manner. The fact that he knew this should have alerted him to the probable state of events when she asked for him over the radio. The way she said his name in a clipped tone should have been a dead giveaway. As should the wary glances he drew from Chuck and Lorne as he made his way through the control room. But no, he had been oblivious to it for some reason and now was the unprepared victim of Elizabeth Weir's anger.
"What?" He responded, realizing that drifting off into his own thoughts was not the best course of action to take at this point.
"I'll ask you again, Colonel." John winced a little at the use of his rank for the third time in the last 10 minutes. "Did you perhaps leave something out of your report on Gandria, MX-3983?"
"No."
Elizabeth paused and then seemed to collect herself for what he expected was going to be a rather intense conversation. The problem was he didn't have a clue why. It was never a good idea to go into a situation like this completely unaware as to what was going on, especially with Elizabeth.
"I honestly don't know what you're talking about," he said in an attempt to diffuse the situation.
Elizabeth regarded him with an unreadable expression and then muttered something that sounded like, "and that's part of the problem."
"About a half hour ago Elder Alix called to talk to me." She began in full Dr. Weir mode, making him feel like her subordinate rather than a colleague or friend.
"That was the leader of Gandria. Nice guy."
"He called me to talk about you," Elizabeth continued in that cool calm voice, still pinning him with a look.
"Okay."
"And asked for my permission and help to start planning your wedding."
John felt his mouth drop open and managed to gasp, "What?"
"So you can see why I might think you left something out of your report," She finished tightly, still watching him with a sharp look.
"How the……what?"
"That's what I want to know."
"And you think I know?" He shot back and jumped up to pace in front of her desk, his brain scrambling to figure out how this had happened.
"Well, as one half of the happy couple I assumed you would." Elizabeth's eyes were following him as he moved back and forth.
"Elizabeth, I have no idea what is going on." He rushed to assure her. "I would never…..I mean, my position here practically prevents it. And I would definitely get to know the person better than an evening campfire celebration would allow." He had stopped pacing right in front of her desk and gave her what he hoped was his most sincere look. "I swear I'm just as confused as you."
After regarding him for a moment, Elizabeth spoke, her tone noticeably softened. "John, your team has been visiting the settlement for 2 weeks now. It is a possibility that you would meet someone. And sometimes campfire celebrations can get a little out of hand."
As bizarre as this situation was, John was pleased to have gotten past the 'Colonel' business. "I didn't drink that much." He protested. "Trust me, I would remember getting engaged again."
"Her name is Imely. Does that sound familiar?"
"No."
Elizabeth studied him for another minute and then sighed resignedly. "All right, we'll figure this out. I told him we would be calling back in an hour after I had a chance to talk to you."
John realized that he had just pinpointed the source of Elizabeth's anger. To be caught completely off-guard by this in front of a new and valuable ally didn't make her look like a very good leader, especially when it involved her second-in-command.
"Oh, believe me, I want to know as much as you do." He responded. "Do you an idea of what happened?"
Elizabeth sighed again, "I might have a theory or two. We should call Elder Alix back." She stood to leave the office, motioning for him to come along.
When he reached the control room, Chuck was already dialing Gandria. They sent a MALP through so they would have video and waited for a few minutes before Alix responded. After exchanging the necessary greetings, Elizabeth got down to business.
"Elder Alix, I have spoken to Colonel Sheppard, and if I may be blunt he doesn't recall becoming engaged to Imely. Perhaps there has been some misunderstanding."
"Dr. Weir, since we talked, I have spoken with Imely. She assures me that the customs of our people were explained to the Colonel and he agreed to enter a partnership with her."
John was off camera to Elizabeth's right and upon hearing this started gesturing wildly to indicate this was not true.
"All right." Elizabeth answered patiently. "Could you explain your customs to me, so that I could speak further with Colonel Sheppard. I apologize, but he has been called away on a military matter, and I didn't want to delay our call."
Elder Alix glanced to his right, making John think that he might be employing the same technique as Elizabeth and that Imely was standing to the side. "According to our ways, if man and woman feel they are compatible, she offers him a drink from a bowl. When he accepts and drinks this indicates interest. She then presents him with a wreath of flowers to wear. Again if he accepts this indicates his wish to seriously court her. Finally, she asks him to participate in a ceremonial dance, and in accepting he agrees to be her partner in life. Our people can be rather impulsive, so it is not unusual for all three customs to be observed in a single night, which is apparently what happened with your Colonel Sheppard."
"I see." Elizabeth said, betraying nothing of what she really thought in either her tone or expression. It was times like these when, even as well as he knew her, John had trouble figuring out what she was thinking. She looked over at him. "Well, Colonel Sheppard has just radioed that he's on his way back here. If I might have a few minutes to talk privately with him, I'm sure we can figure this out."
"By all means, Dr. Weir. I'll have Imely sent for as well, and we can speak again in 10 minutes."
Elizabeth nodded, smiled and indicated to Chuck to cut the transmission. Then she turned to face him and lifted an eyebrow. "So, did any of that sound familiar to you."
John thought back. He had been drinking during the celebration, not enough to be drunk, just a little happy. He remembered drinking wine out of a bowl, and if he fast forwarded about an hour, being given a wreath of flowers to put on his head, and if he moved forward another hour or two, being asked to dance by a pretty young woman. The same girl that had offered him the drink and flowers. Crap. "Yeah," he answered weakly.
Elizabeth looked up at the ceiling, almost as if she was looking for guidance, and shook her head.
"But I didn't know what any of it meant. I thought, 'hey some wine' and 'a pretty girl is offering a flower hat', not 'let's be man and wife'." He explained.
Elizabeth brought her gaze back to his. "Okay. Here is what we're going to do. You are going to apologize for misunderstanding their customs. Nicely." She cut off any remark he was going to make by raising one hand and continued in her most professional voice. "I don't care if it wasn't explained to you. And then you are going to say that your position in our settlement prevents you from even being able to marry right now."
"I think I can handle that." He said evenly, trying not to be annoyed at how Elizabeth was treating him. This wasn't his fault!
The following discussion with Elder Alix and Imely went quite well. Both he and Elizabeth warmly apologized for the mistake. It was accepted and the engagement was dissolved with little explanation, prompting John to think that maybe Elder Alix had found out from Imely that their customs hadn't been explained to him. Once the call was over however, Elizabeth's good humor seemed to vanish. She quickly retreated to her office, leaving John to his own devices. He could tell that she wasn't exactly angry with him anymore, just disappointed. Unfortunately, he had come to realize that Elizabeth's good opinion mattered quite a lot to him.
TBC…..