Authors note: Eh? What? What happened?
Yuffie: Hey, get your lazy butt up! You have stories to write about me!
Author: S… stories? But I wanna watch the clouds go by…
Yuffie: Vinnie, make her get up and write!
Vincent: …
Yuffie: (holds up her fire materia) Get up or feel the wrath of the awesome ninja Yuffie!
Author: (sits up) Eh…? How troublesome…
Vincent: …
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Square Enix or Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Title: Yuffie the Vampire Slayer
Chapter 1: Intro to Insanity
"OUCH!!!!" I scream jumping up from my prone form to get into my fighting stance. "GAWD! You spiky headed jerk! You think you beat me well think again! One more time just you and me, bring it on!" I watched from my safe distance as the blond spiked guy turns to his jerk friends and discuss something. Boy now that is a weird crew: a huge hairy man with a gun on his arm and a giant red cat with one eye and a tattoo. "Hey," I scream, "Don't ignore me!" Suddenly an idea came to my mind as I watched the blue-eyed cutie turned back to look at me. "Oh, I get it you're all just too shocked and amazed at my super ninja skills right?"
Actually they whooped my butt, but they don't need to know that. I figured that they were easy targets to get some spare change. It was all going really good until they brought out some strong materia. A couple fire spells later I'm rolling on the floor like an idiot trying to save my overly toasted buns!
"Uh… yeah." The blond guy said. I couldn't help but give him a toothy grin then I nodded in understanding. "I knew" I stated, "I should have held back. I mean the mere sight of such a powerful ravishing beauty such as myself is something that most mortals such as you can't even begin to comprehend."
"Uh, sure." The guy said. I looked at him for a long moment. He was cute but he didn't seem to be having a lot goin' on upstairs…. Perhaps his ridiculously spiky hair is poking at his brain. 'Doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb in the… bulb box thingy…' I thought "So what are you guys doing out here in the middle of the woods anyway?" Wow, was that a question not to ask. The blond wouldn't shut up about this guy named Seph…. Something-or-other and helping some girl to promises. 'Promises… isn't that some drug rehab place?' I don't know I wasn't really listening. "We could use your skills," The blond said, "Would you like to come with us?"
After thinking about it for a minute I smiled and nodded. 'If I go with them I'll be able to get my hands on all their amazing materia!' I had to suppress a chuckle at my own genius. "It's just a good thing that you caught me in such a merciful mood as to let you all li-Hey!" I yell as I see them walk away from me, "Where are you going! W… wait, I'm coming too!"
To be continued
Yuffie: That's all you're going to write!?
Author: Well… it is just an introduction to the story. Next chapter will have lots more.
Vincent: …
Yuffie: You better have lots more or I'll make Vinnie bite you and make you a vampire!
Vincent: …
Author: Vincent, don't you ever say anything?
Vincent: I need my gun.
Yuffie and Author: O.o
Vincent: … To clean…
Yuffie: Uh… yeah
Author: Please review, thank you.