Darkness.

Pure darkness.

That's what I feel right now.

Loneliness.

Humilated...

Scared.

What if they tell everyone? Just... What if?

I trip over a tree root but scramble right back up, running even further into the dark woods, trying to get away. To get away from everything.

The air feels cold against me sweat damped skin, my hair's sticking to my head and my sides are screaming for me to stop running.

I can't.

If I stop, they'll get me. They'd want me to tell them what happened. I can't... I can't tell them.

I hide behind a big tree and lean over, resting my knees on my hands. I shiver as I hear the footsteps running past the big tree, my name echoing through the woods.

I watch as they disappeared and get swallowed up by the darkness. I sit down on the ground and wipe the sweat of my forehead. I rest against the tree, panting and breathing hard.

This was not supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to see what I just did. The shock in their eyes... the pain... they were scared... the disappoint from one of the person I care about most...

I swallowed and push my sleeve up, looking at the red marks on my arms, some still bleeding.

I bite my lip and try to keep my tears at bay. I pull a small package of tissues out of my backpack and presses them to my arm.

Yes, that's right. I'm cutting myself. No one knows. Not even my best friend. Then again... I barely tell my friends what's going on in my life anymore.

I bite my lip and hiss in pain, the burning off my skin finally reaching my nerves.

I pull my sleeve down again, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around it.

That's when it happened.

One tear slid down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I didn't want to be weak, I had to be strong.

I sighed and rested my chin on my knees. Another tear rolled down my cheek and this time I let it roll, quickly followed by others.

I squeezed my eyes shut and burried my head in my knees, trying to muffle the sobs that started escaping my lips.

All of a sudden I heard some rumbling above me and a few teardrops falling down, followed by many more.

Great. Just fucking great.

I sighed and leaned against the tree, wipping my tears away, getting thoroughly soaked. I looked up at the sky and cower slightly as I see lightening and then hear thunder clap loudly.

I start shivering and wrap my arms around my knees again, curling up in a ball, hoping it will keep me warmer.

Damn it.

I should have brought a coat.

I shiver again and groan, stretching my legs. I raise up my sleeve again and stare at my cuts.

20.

20 cuts.

20 cuts on one arm.

I jerk my sleeve down again, not wanting to think about it anymore.

I hated it.

Hated my life.

I wiped my nose and glared up at the sky, suddenly letting out an angered scream.

This is so not like me.

To who am I screaming anyways?

God?

Like God can do something about my life that sucks so much.

I suddenly realised they are still looking for me.

I groaned and stood up, walking some further away. They can't find me. They'd bring me home and tell everything. They can't.

They would find out that-

Never mind.

I sneezed and rubbed my nose.

Great. I'm catching a cold.

Fan-fucking-tastic!

~Two hours later~

I... am so.. tired...

I breathe as I keep walking.

I kept walking in walking, scared that if I stop they find me and will drag me away.

It totally sucked that they found out.

And it hasn't stopped GODDAMN RAINING!

I feel cold and my clothes stick to my skin.

I sigh and finally sit down on a fallen tree.

I don't care anymore, my feet hurts, my legs are sore and I just can't do a single step anymore.

I rest my elbows on my knees and cover my face in my hands

How the hell did I even come into this shit.

Then I grimace.

I know damn well how I got in here

And I'll fucking hate that guy forever for what he did to us.

To us.

My mom.

Me.

I bawl my fists and bite on my knuckles.

My Dad.

He thought he was amazing.

He wanted me to be just like him.

He wanted that I became a doctor, just like him.

He exploded when he found out that I was going to LA to sing in Big Time Rush.

He hit me

He hit my mom.

I close my eyes and bite my lip hard, shaking the thought out of my head.

I don't wanna think of him. Not now.

I look up and see that it had stopped raining.

Thank god.

I stand up and reach in my pocket to feel my phone.

It's not there.

I raise my eyebrow confused and feel my other pocket.

As I don't feel my phone there I start patting all of my pockets frantically.

I had it before they found me and ran off. I had it when-

Fuck.

I might've lost it when I tripped.

I slam my handpalm in my forehead, mumbling 'stupid' over and over again.

I ran my hand through my hair and sigh.

It's probably broken from all the water it might've sucked up.

My mom's going to be pissed.

I sigh and walk to the edge of the forest.

Lights of the city sparkle in the darkness of the night.

I sigh and walk back to the tree and plop back down.

I run my hand over my forehead and sigh.

I would nothing more just to go home, back to Minnesota.

But I knew I had to stay here...

"LOOOOGAAAANNNN!"

I scrunch my eyes shut as I hear that angelic voice scream my name, deep in the forest.

I open my eyes and sigh.

My name's Logan Mitchell, and I'm in love with my best friend Kendall Knight.

Oh my gooooosh. I never wrote angst before. I don't if I'm good at it :') We'll see. I'll update as soon as I can! I would love to read some lovely reviews.

You guys rock!

Xoxoxo