Disclaimer: I do not own American Dad, except I own my OC, Zoey Wilson. Come on copyright people, it's the holidays, so live up a bit! XD
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. It is snowing in Langley Falls, Virginia. The house is filled with Christmas decorations.
"Oh the holidays, the most wonderful time of the year. The time where we spent time with our loved ones away from work and school" Hayley narrated as she was wrapping presents.
"Jeff is going to love this one" she told herself.
Steve walks in.
"Hi, sis, what are you doing?" Steve asked.
"Hi Steve, I'm decorating and wrapping Christmas presents for the family" Hayley said.
"That's wonderful, sis" Steve replied.
"Do you know what you're getting for Zoey?" Hayley asked.
"This special necklace Zoey kept nagging me about it and I told her that if she's good she'll get it" Steve replied as he showed his sister a purple golden necklace inside a box.
"But she's always good" Hayley said.
"Yes she had" Steve answered back with a smile. "What are you getting Jeff for Christmas?"
"I got him a new fishing hat. Jeff kept telling me how much his current hat keeps getting messy" Hayley answered.
"That's great, sis. I'm going to go help Zoey distribute presents to those in need. Do you need anything?" Steve asked.
"No, I'm good. Please remember to…" Hayley was cut short as Steve, wearing in his normal winter outfit, opened the door and left while snow entered the house.
"…close the door" Hayley told herself but was too late as her brother was gone.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey, wearing a pink winter coatand black boots, are finishing up distributing presents to those in need at a community center.
"Zoey, this was a wonderful idea" Steve said
"Thanks babe. My dad thought it was a good idea to get rid of his childhood toys since my mom kept nagging him to get rid of them" Zoey said.
"Cool, now what should we do?" Steve asked his girlfriend.
"Want to go get some hot cocoa?" Zoey asked.
"Sure" her boyfriend responded.
Meanwhile, back at the Smith household, Hayley has finished wrapping up her last present. It was a small box, apparently it was for her brother.
"Steve will love this!" she told herself. Roger walks inside the building, drunk as usual every Christmas.
"Hayley, I want my pecan sandies now! Stan is threatening me to cut off my penis if I don't get my pecan sandies!" the alien shouted while slurring.
"Roger, you say the dumbest things every Christmas. When will you give it a rest?" she asked.
"I tell you when I should stop, never! (Vomits)" Roger pukes on the couch.
"EWW! Roger!" Hayley shouted as she was grossed out.
Steve and Zoey went inside.
"Hi Hayley…oh my God, what's going on?!" Steve shouted. Zoey's face turned pale and green after seeing Roger's vomit.
"It's nothing to worry about. I'll get it" Hayley said.
"I got it" Steve said as he was about to put his hot cocoa down on the table. Hayley got up, but the cocoa spilled on her pants.
"Steve! What the hell?!" Hayley shouted angrily.
"Oh my God Hayley, I'm so sorry. Let me help you" Steve tried to help Hayley out but she refused.
"Steve, just stop before you do anything else! My legs are burning! Zoey, why don't you help Roger clean up and keep an eye on your boyfriend?! I'm going to get cleaned up!" Hayley said as she left and got a change of clothes.
"I'm on it!" Zoey agreed as she got a mop and clean up Roger's vomit, while the alien passed out. Klaus walks in.
"(Sigh) is Roger drunk again?" the goldfish asked.
"Is this something new?" Zoey asked.
"Nope!" Klaus replied.
Meanwhile, Hayley is taking a shower after her leg was burned from Steve's cocoa. Later, she finished and wrapped herself with a pink towel. She went into her room and got dressed. Hayley then walked down the stairs, wearing her winter clothes, which is a green sweater, blue jeans, and brown boots.
"Hey guys, how's the cleaning up going?" she asked Steve and Zoey.
"We're done. Right now, Roger is sleeping on the couch. Where are your parents anyways?" Zoey asked.
"Yeah, they went to our grandparents' house and I don't know what happened since" Hayley explained.
Meanwhile, Stan and Francine are drinking eggnog and having a peaceful conversation with Mama.
"Mama, where's Baba?" Francine asked.
"I don't know. He's usually sitting down with us" Mama explained. Out of nowhere, Baba appears fully naked. (A/E His private parts are blurred.) Francine covers her eyes and Stan laughs.
"Oh no! Not this again!" Mama chases Baba around, who runs outside in the cold snow fully naked.
"(Sigh) Baba's drunk. I knew it" Francine said.
"This is great, Francine. We should come here every year" Stan grinned.
Meanwhile, Hayley, Steve, and Zoey are sitting on the couch, looking bored. Jeff walks inside, carrying a lot of presents.
"Hey guys. Why are you all sitting like slackers? We got presents to deliver!" Jeff shouted.
"Good idea babe" Hayley agreed.
"Cool, but first, costumes" Steve said as he got up.
"Oh no" Hayley becomes worried.
The four friends go up in Steve's room. Steve and Zoey are dressed as elves and Jeff is wearing reindeer ears. Hayley is wearing a big Santa costume.
"Steve, I don't even fit in this costume. Jeff doesn't look like a reindeer to begin with!" she snapped.
"You look adorable, sis" he protested.
"Steve's right, Hayley and besides, I'm too short to be Santa" Zoey agreed with her boyfriend.
"Give me something to hold on to these suspenders!" Hayley shouted.
"Here you go!" Steve ties Hayley's suspenders with a bow. Unfortunately, it disconnects and her suspenders and pants fall down, revealing her white panties.
"Why me?" Hayley asked as she picked up her pants. "Why does this always happen to me?"
"Oh relax, sis. I'm sure things will be fine" Steve said with a smile.
"Looking good, babe!" Jeff shouted. Hayley frowns.
End of Act 1
Ace 2
Hayley, Zoey, Steve, and Jeff are walking around the neighborhood block, delivering presents to people they know. First they gave presents to Greg, Terry, and Libby.
"Merry Christmas, Bates and Corbin family!" Steve exclaimed.
"Ho, ho, ho" Hayley said in a bored tone.
"Come on sis, put some emphasis into it" Steve encouraged his sister.
"Ho! Ho! Ho" she shouted with a cheerful tone.
Next, they deliver presents to Principal Lewis.
"Merry Christmas, my favorite principal" Steve said.
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Hayley repeated her process.
Later, they delivered more presents to Avery Bullock, Barry, Toshi, Snot, Hayley's friends from Faking Bad (Zooey, Kristen, and Danuta), some of Zoey's friends, and a bunch of people. Later, they are walking home.
"See? This wasn't bad" Steve said.
"I guess so" Hayley responded.
"Now what?" Jeff asked.
"We can go sing Christmas carols with my parents" Zoey suggested.
"Sounds fine with me" Hayley said. "Let me call mom and dad first." Hayley gets her cell phone and calls Stan and Francine, who are still at her grandparents' home.
"Hello?" Francine answered.
"Hi mom and dad. Zoey invited me, Steve, and Jeff to go sing Christmas carols. I hope it's okay" Hayley told her mom.
"That's fine honey. Right now your father and I are busy dealing with a problem on out own. Baba is naked outside and we need to get him before he gets in trouble. Have fun kids!" Francine said as she hangs up her phone.
"Let's go" Steve said.
Later, they went inside Zoey's house, where her parents are ready to go caroling. They are both wearing winter outfits.
"I'm so glad you guys are here!" Mr. Wilson exclaimed.
"You guys ready?" Mrs. Wilson asked.
"Yes!" everyone said in unison.
Later, they walked down to City Hall. Mr. Wilson conducts the group.
"We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!" the group sings as people started to gathered up and listen to them sing.
Later, they were about to finish their last song.
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride, in a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride, in a one horse open sleigh" the group continues to sing. As they continue to sing the rest of their song, the bow on Hayley's Santa costume falls apart, thus her pants fall down, revealing her white panties again.
The crowd laughs at her. Zoey covers Steve's eyes. Hayley blushes. Jeff protects his wife by standing in front of her.
"STEVE!" she shouted out loud.
Meanwhile, Steve, Jeff, and Hayley went back home. Zoey went back to her home, anyways. Hayley is holding on to her long pants tightly.
"Hayley, I'm sorry. I should have think before having you put on the costume. I swear to God, I'll make it up to you" Steve apologized.
"Just leave me alone, Steve!" Hayley shouted as she closed her bedroom door.
"I would normally try to cheer her up, but I think she's too pissed off. I guess it's just me and Call of Duty" Jeff said as he plays video games in the living room.
"Oh God, what have I done? I know, I can go buy something for Hayley" Steve told himself as he went upstairs to his room. He turns on the computer and found a shiny green headband.
"Perfect! I'll buy this and it will deliver within 2 hours" Steve proudly told himself.
2 Hours Later
Stan and Francine are still now home, but the delivery guy shows up and gives Steve the package. He signs the document to acknowledge that he received his order and the delivery guy left.
"Steve, who was that?" Hayley shouted off-screen.
"Something from Snot" Steve lied. He quickly rushed to his room and wrapped Hayley's present in a nice gift and puts it on the Christmas tree.
"Steve…" Hayley shows up from out of nowhere.
"(Screams)" Steve screamed.
"Listen, sorry for my nasty attitude. I guess that I don't like being embarrassed, you know. I need your help actually" Hayley said.
"Sure sis, anything you want" Steve responded.
"Come with me" the Smith siblings went inside Hayley's room. She shows her brother a fancy painting of the whole family, which includes Stan, Francine, herself, Steve, Klaus, Roger, and Jeff.
"Wow that looks amazing, Hayley!" Steve exclaimed.
"Thanks kiddo. I just needed your opinion" Hayley said.
(Phone Rings)
"Hayley, it's for you!" Jeff shouted, off-screen.
"I'll get it, don't (bleep) this up!" Hayley snaps as she walks down. "Hello? Hi Kristen. No way! Danuta just broke up with her 20th boyfriend?" Hayley's voice fades as Steve continues to admire her painting.
"I want to see if this is still dry" Steve touches Hayley's painting. Unfortunately, there was a smudge on it.
"Oh crap! If Hayley finds out I ruined her painting, I'm doomed!" Steve panicked.
Meanwhile, Hayley is enjoying her girl conversation with her friend.
"(Laughing) Danuta wore underwear to a fraternity party? That's something new. Speaking of which, Kristen, would you mind talking about this on Facebook Messenger? I got to check up on my present for my presents before my little brother destroys it. He was a pain all day. I'll explain it to you later. Bye!" Hayley hangs up the phone and she walks back upstairs. Steve was covered with paint as he frantically tries to fix Hayley's present.
"Hi kiddo, so what's…WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Hayley screamed on top of her lungs as she saw the painting was a huge wreck.
"Hayley, I'm deeply sorry. I thought it was dry. I didn't mean to. It was an accident" Steve tried to explain
"Steve, it's always a damn accident! You know what? I honestly can't take it anymore. I wish…I wish…I wish that I never had a little brother!" Hayley shouted.
"(face starts to quiver) Hayley, you don't mean…" Steve begins to cry.
"I mean it! Go ahead and cry, I'm not changing my damn decision!" Hayley snaps angrily.
Steve leaves her room crying.
"Finally! That will shut him up" Hayley told herself.
End of Act 2
Act 3
Hayley woke up this morning, feeling refreshed. She walks down the stairs to the kitchen to prepare her breakfast. Klaus was there, reading the newspaper.
"Morning, Hayley" the pet goldfish said.
"Morning, Klaus. So where is everybody today? Did mom and dad returned home yesterday?" Hayley asked.
"I believe so. Stan and Francine went straight to bed, as far as I remembered" Klaus recalled.
"That's great Klaus. You're pretty up early for a goldfish" Hayley said.
"Yeah, that's great Hayley. Can't a goldfish talk for once?" he asked.
"Anything you say" she responded. "Okay where's my dumb brother Steve?"
"Who?" Klaus asked.
"You know, short dweeb, brown hair, glasses, the one dating Zoey?" Hayley tried to explain to Klaus who her brother was.
"I have no idea who this Steve guy is. Isn't he one of your imaginary friends?" the goldfish asked.
"Wait, are you saying that I don't have a little brother?" she asked.
"I don't think so" Klaus answered.
"Oh my God, I made my wish come true. Let me show you something" Hayley took Klaus to her room. She showed Klaus the painting, but it only had herself, Stan, Francine, and Klaus.
"Cool, Steve's not in this portrait. This is awesome" Hayley told the goldfish.
"That's great Hayley, I guess" Klaus said.
"What do you mean you guess?" Hayley wondered. "Oh no, I forgot about Roger."
"Who's Roger?" Klaus asked.
"You know, the alien who wears different costumes every single day" Hayley explained.
"I'm sorry but it does not ring a bell" Klaus said.
"What?!" Hayley freaked out. "So without Steve, Roger does not exist?! I guess that fact that Roger was Steve's 10th birthday present. Since Steve is not here, then Roger does not exist. Is that what this is trying to tell me?!"
"I guess so" Klaus answered.
"Oh well, that's two less people to worry about. Come on Klaus, let's have some fun" Hayley and Klaus went to Hayley's car after she got fully dressed in her winter outfit. She was driving around town, but everything is different. She sees Barry, Toshi, and Snot as gang members.
"Whoa, since when did those three joined gangs?" Hayley asked.
"They were gang members for a very long time. You see, because they were constantly bullied, they were fed up and started to hurt innocent people for a living" Klaus explained.
"Wow, without Steve, those three are awful. I have to get out of here" Hayley drove off as Barry, Toshi, and Snot demanded money from a local passenger with a gun in his head. Meanwhile, she passes by Principal Lewis's house, who lives in filth and in welfare.
"What the hell happened here?" she asked.
"You see, since there was no student to help him out, he decided to quit his job and live in welfare" Klaus explained.
"Wow, Steve usually is the one who helps him out. Poor guy! I would help him, but I'm scared. Let's go" Hayley drives off as Principal Lewis continues to drink a lot of whisky straight from the bottle.
"What does this mean to Zoey?" Hayley asked as she arrived to Zoey's house. She takes Klaus out of the car and they walk to Zoey's house.
(Bell ring)
"Yes, can I help you?" Mr. Wilson answered.
"Hi there, is Zoey home?" Hayley answered.
"I'm sorry but who are you?" he asked.
"It's me, Hayley. My brother is dating your daughter" she answered.
"What's your brother's name?" Mr. Wilson asked.
"Steve" Hayley answered.
"Hmm, sorry. It doesn't ring a bell. Besides, Zoey is busy hanging out with too many boys and we don't know what to do with her. We tried grounding her, public shaming, spankings, everything, but our daughter is out of control. If you see here, please let me know. I have to go" Mr. Wilson closed the door.
"So what happened to Zoey?" Hayley asked.
"My theory is that since maybe Steve and Zoey never dated, Zoey is probably a troubled teen" Klaus said.
"That's not true. That's some BS right there" Hayley rebutted.
"Are you sure? Let's go find her" Klaus said.
They drive to a local alley, where they see a bunch of troubling teens doing graffiti on the walls with slang words and obscure images. There was Vince Chung, Amy, Lisa Silver, and a bunch of guys and girls. However, Zoey was part of them.
"Go Zoey!" Vince ordered Zoey to do some graffiti.
"Zoey, don't!" Hayley shouted.
"Hayley, don't. They'll hurt you!" Klaus tried to stop her.
"Klaus, what the hell is she doing?!" Hayley freaked out.
"I'm guessing since Steve does not exist, Zoey felt like she had nowhere to go and decided to become a troubled teen. Oh, and not to mention she became a slut!" Klaus explained as they see Zoey about to make out with Vince and a bunch of boys.
"Oh God, do me! Get me pregnant! Give me a baby girl! Screw my parents and school!" Zoey demanded as Vince began to erotically make out with her and a bunch of guys were video-recording this session.
"Yeah, since she had no loyal boyfriend like Steve, Zoey felt it was all right to become a whore" Klaus said.
"Klaus, we're going home!" Hayley snapped as they drove home. Once they drove home, Hayley put Klaus on the living room table and she went upstairs to her room, crying.
"(Crying) what the hell have I done!? I miss Roger, the real Zoey, and I definitely miss Steve! Why the hell did I wish to not have a little brother?! I just want things to be the way they were again!" Hayley cried as a tear shed to the floor and a bright light occurred. The screen turned to black momentarily as we see Hayley waking up the next morning in her purple pajamas.
"Wow that was scary. Oh God, I hope I didn't made my wish come true" she wondered as she went to see her ruined painting.
"It's still ruined! It's still ruined! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh wait, I shouldn't do a Daniel Bryan Yes Movement. (Laughs)" Hayley was happy that the ruined painting of her family is still alive.
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose…" voices are heard outside of Hayley's room. There were her friends and family, including Stan, Francine, Klaus, Roger (in a disguise), Jeff, Principal Lewis, Greg, Terry, Libby, Zoey, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, Barry, Toshi, Snot, Zooey, Kristen, and Danuta, and of course, her brother Steve.
"Steve!" Hayley runs towards her brother and gives him a huge hug.
"Hey sis. I wanted to have these people sing a song for you" Steve said.
"Steve, you're back! I'm so sorry for wishing that I wished that I never had a little brother" Hayley apologized.
"It's okay, sis. I'm sorry too for ruining things. I still love you!" Steve accepted his sister's apology.
"Thank you kiddo! Hang on, I'll go downstairs with you guys" Hayley tried to close her bedroom door, but her pajama shirt got stuck and as she tried to free herself, it rips, thus revealing her white bra and panties. She blushes and everyone laughs at her, but this time, she laughs with them. Later, as she got fully dressed in her normal outfit, it was her, Steve, Stan, Francine, Roger, Klaus, Jeff, Zoey, and Mr. and Mrs. Wilson in the living room, opening presents. Steve gives Zoey the necklace she wanted for.
"Thank you babe!" the couple kisses under the mistletoe.
"Steve, once again, I am so sorry for wishing that I never had a brother. I feel so disgusted for saying that. I should have never said that. I love you, no matter what. You're my little brother. I will always love you!" Hayley apologized after her brother finished kissing Zoey.
"It's okay, sis. I forgive you. I love you too" Steve replied. The two siblings hug.
"So that was that. I managed to fix mom and dad's present in time. Plus, I wanted to buy Steve a present so that we will remain brother and sister forever" Hayley narrated as she gave her parents the painting present. Stan and Francine adored it. Later, Steve opens a present from Hayley. He got Pokémon Omega Ruby for the Nintendo 3DS.
"Oh my God, it's Omega Ruby! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Steve exclaimed as tears filled his eyes as he got up and hugged his sister
End of Act 3
Well I hope you enjoy this Christmas story. I will continue to work on Mockingbird. Moral of the story is to love your family no matter what they do. Appreciate them for who they are. Read and review and have a wonderful Merry Christmas!