It was the body. It was definitely just the body. It was the weak body of a mere human that was making him feel this way, he was sure of it. He was Akura-ou, he was not meant to feel, he was not meant to lust after anything other than blood. But here he was, with his heart aching painfully in his chest, and there she was smiling at him so obliviously like she didn't just turn his world on its axis.
He wasn't a fool; so why was it that he always found himself doing foolish things when it came to her? Seeing her in danger always sent him over the edge, only the image of her consuming his mind as he frantically tries to find a way to rescue her. Why couldn't she have been someone who didn't draw in trouble wherever she went? Why couldn't he have fallen in love with a less troublesome girl?
And it doesn't register with him that he's already realized what he feels for the flimsy human girl, it doesn't settle in until he's wide awake at 4 am and all he can think about is the way her eyes light up with the tug of her lips. It doesn't fully reach him until her name constantly rings throughout his head like a prayer. He doesn't admit it until his heart, his painfully human, loving heart skips a beat the moment their eyes meet.
It doesn't start to hurt until he sees her cheeks flush because of him, it doesn't start to sting until he sees the way she smiles with him and sees the space between them, it doesn't start to swell until every moment he wants her he's scared she's wanting someone else.
The feelings scare him more than she does. The possibility of her in someone else's arms scares him more than anything he's ever known before. He didn't know he was capable of being this scared.
So he holds onto her arm when she makes to leave, because he knows he'll feel the knife in his heart tomorrow so he needs her for tonight before he knows she's not his for good. He asks her to stay and he doesn't think his voice has ever sounded so frail before. He blames his body again. She looks hesitant but she promises, she timidly asks if he's okay and he doesn't answer because he knows as soon as the sun rises and she leaves his side he might never be okay again.
He curses his human body and his human eyes for tearing up as he wakes to an empty bed.