The Benefit

"I really don't understand why all of this is necessary." Kate Beckett said to her best friend as the two of them got into the limo that was waiting for them on the street in front of the entrance of Kate's building.

"Because it is for the NYPD charity, Sweetie. And as the best and youngest detective on the force, you have to go. Plus, it's a good thing for you. I mean, when was the last time you went out?" Lanie Parish asked.

"It was not that long ago!" Kate protested.

"When?"

" I don't ...I don't remember." Kate admitted.

"That means it's been way too long." Lanie said. "What's the worst that can happen anyway? You'll be surrounded by civilized people all here to give money for the wives and children of fallen NYPD officers. It's a good cause, right?"

"You're really asking me?" Kate asked, anger in her voice.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I should have thought and ..."

"Its ok Lanie. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I just … I'm really tired. Evan has been sick for the last couple of days and I'm not really feeling good about leaving him for the night." Kate said.

"He's not alone, Kate, he's with your parents. He loves spending the night there. He told me so last week. He explained every detail of the fort-building process with your father and how they actually sleep in there." Lanie laughed when she remembered how the five-year-old had explained which poeces of furniture and which sheets were used.

For the rest of the car ride to the hotel where the charity benefit was held, Kate was lost in her thoughts. Every yearshe had to go to this thing and every year it made her re-live the worst night of her life.

She had been to the restaurant with her parents to give them the good news. The great news that she had been waiting for for quite some time now. Will Sorenson, her boyfriend of seven years, had finally proposed. When she had announced it to her parents, her mother had jumped from her seat and had come to hug her tightly. Her father had been less demonstrative but he showed his happiness anyway with a huge smile. Of course he was not happy that his little girl – even at twenty-five – was leaving him for good but he was happy that it was for Will. He had not always liked the guy. Which parent – father, really – likes their nineteen year-old daughter's boyfriend? However, Will had proven himself times and times again for three years before Jim gave up and decided that he was good enough for his daughter.

After dinner, the three Becketts went to Kate and Will's place to congratulate the groom-to-be/ However, when they entered the appartment, it was not Will who welcomed them but a police detective.

Kate could not tell what really happened in the next few days. She did not feel anything. She did not do anything. She did not understand anything. She really realized what had happened when they burried Will. She couldn't do it anymore, she collapsed, in hysterics, next to his grave. She couldn't care less that everyone was looking at her. She completely lost it. They actually had to call 911 to come and get her, several people having tried to get but but she hurt them. After several days in the hospital and a lot of tests, the doctors informed her that she was pregnant. The revelation calmed her down. . She took it as a sign from Will to go on living. So in the next months, she grieved her fiancé, moved back in with her parents and eight months after the death of the love of her life, she gave birth to their son: Evan William Beckett.

"You ok Kate?" Lanie asked when they arrived at the hotel and Kate didn't react.

"What? Oh yeah, sorry. I just … it all brings back bad memories." Kate smiled sadly. "And the prospect of hearing yet another speech on how widows and orphans from the NYPD need charity to survive … it makes me sick."

"I know. But you have to admit that for some people, unfortunately, it is the case. Not everyone is as strong as you Kate." Lanie said.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I don't want my share of the money. I systematically send it back.I keep receiving the money, even after all the letters I wrote to the head of the charity."

"Come on, let's go and try to enjoy ourselves despite the situation. Who knows, you might even meet a handsome and rich man." Lanie teased as she got out of the limo.

"Lanie!" Kate groaned, following her friend.

Once inside, Kate and Lanie found Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan, Kate's partners and friends. She had known Javier since she joined the Police Academy and Kevin since she joined the 12th precinct.

"Cleaned up nice ladies." Javier said as he gave a glass of champaign to each of them.

"Can you keep mine? I just need to run to the bathroom realy quick." Kate asked him.

"Yeah, sure." Javier said.

"Thanks. I'll be back in no time." she said, smiling before leaving the group.

When she entered the bathroom, she went to face the mirror. It could have been worst. She did not look as she thought she would. Shedidn't look as if she had been on the verge of tears for about fifteen minutes. As she was putting some make-up back on, a teenager entered the bathroom, close to tears.

"Hey, are you ok?" Kate asked, worried.

"Oh yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You didn't. But are you sure you're ok? Because you don't look ok?"

"I am not. But I will be. It's just … I tend to cry when I get nervous and I have to give a speech in front of all these people."

"Here, take some of this." Kate told the girl, handing her her make-up bag. "And if you want to calm your nerves, think about what you are going to say and why you want to say it. If you believe in what you say, you can convince anyone, really."

"Thanks." the girl said, smiling as she tried to cover the tear tracks from her cheeks.

"What's your name?" Kate asked.

"Alexis." the girl said, handing the make-up bag back to Kate.

"Well, Alexis, I'm sure your speech is going to be great."

"Thank you." Alexis smiled, leaving the bathromom and heading for the stage.