Heyo! I'm Silver-Squirrel and I'll be commentating My Immortal for as long as my brain will hold out. I know that this has been done 1000 odd times but it's SO FUCKING HORRIBLE I couldn't not do it.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (I'm half curtain. No I'm serious.) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling(Good Lord knows what would have happened if you hadn't been there). U rok! Justin(Beaver?) ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness (Why in the hell is there that random apostrophe in there?) Dementia Raven Way (...) and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) (I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye. 'What did you call him?' Larry.) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (Wtf isn't that some kind of shellfish?)and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (I'm sure they do, honey.) (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. ("I just had incest, and it fe-elt so good!" STFU Akon.) I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white (As vampire's teeth are). I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in Englandwhere I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen (Don't you lie to me, missy.). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) (Silly me, I thought you were a rocktship. BAZINGA!) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink (Hard-core, man.) fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation (Because, having white skin, white make-up is something you need. OBVIOUSLY.), black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining (Since that's possible and everything,) so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (This is how the mannerly people commonly great people they do not know.)

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. (DRACO MALFOY IS SHY AND I AM A NARWHAL.)

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (What the fuu-?)

AN: IS it good?(DOES IT LOOK FUCKING GOOD?) PLZ tell me fangz!

OH MY giddy aunt I WANTED TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT AS I READ THIS. I swear to Buddha, man, I swear to Buddha.

P.S please review and let me know if what you thought of my efforts :D