– Chapter One –

"Busted"

Welcome to Hazzard County: where the women are pretty, the men are rowdy…and where the sheriff is usually confused. Today ain't no exception, and J.D. Hogg is the cause of the confusion. He's sittin' at his desk there, lookin' at pictures of horses with the same greedy look he'd have lookin' at a pile of barbecued ribs. I don't know 'bout y'all, but whenever Boss looks that pleased with himself, I start lookin' out for trouble. Ol' Rosco, there…he don't look worried, though; just puzzled. His forehead's so wrinkled, he's startin' to look a little like Flash, ain't he?

Rosco leaned over Boss' shoulder and tilted his head to the side. "Why, Boss, that's mighty sweet! You know, I never pegged you for an animal lover."

"That's 'cause I ain't," Boss replied, shuffling the glossy pictures in his hands. "'Specially that dumb dog of yours. But I like these animals 'cause they're gonna make me money!"

"Oh? How're they gonna do that?"

"By winning races!" Boss pointed to a picture of a handsome brown Thoroughbred. "You see this one here? He came in first last week…won me a load of cash."

"Is that right?" Rosco took the picture to look at it more closely. "Well, don't that just take the biscuit! I tell you, Little Fat Buddy, Flash gets real excited about them races…she says it's just like hot pursuit!" He chuckled. "So how do you go about pickin' which horse to bet on?"

"I don't," Boss said slyly. "Lou Finney does it for me."

"Oh? And who's that?"

Boss took the picture back from Rosco, stuffing it in a big envelope with the others. "My bookie."

"Is that right? Well, that's nice of him to pick horses for ya." Then a slow frown started across Rosco's face. "Wait a second…now I think on it, ain't bettin' on races like that against the law?"

"Don't think on it," Boss said. He rolled his eyes. "Actually…don't you think at all. That ain't somethin' you're good at. But it is something I happen to be very good at!" He pulled a cigar out of his pocket and lit it with an air of self-satisfaction.

The jangle of the telephone broke the smoke-filled silence, and he leaned forward to scoop it up. "Hello! This is J.D. Hogg speakin', what can I do for you?" He leaned back in his chair and took a deep puff from his cigar.

"Hogg, this is Finney."

"Well, well, well, and well, Lou Finney, how nice to hear from you!" Boss remarked with a grin. "You're calling a little early this week, ain't you?"

Rosco tapped him on the shoulder. "Say hello from Rosco!" he put in cheerfully.

"Hello from—Dah! Rosco, will you back off and let me be?" Boss said in irritation. "Can't you see I'm on the phone? Now get outta here and go write some parkin' tickets or something."

Rosco scrunched his face into a frown. "No need to get huffy," he muttered, settling his hat firmly on his head as he headed for the door.

"Hogg, I gotta talk to you," Finney said insistently.

"Well, you got me now, so—Hey, you nitwit, take that fleabag with you!" Boss yelled, swiveling around in his chair. He pointed a thick finger at Flash. "She's gettin' hair all over my office again!"

"Oh, now there ain't no reason for name-calling," Rosco replied, scooping his dog into his arms. "Come on, Velvet Ears," he cooed. "Boss don't mean nothin' about your hair. He's just mad 'cause he don't have any."

"Rosco, out!"

"Ijit! No need to yell, I'm a-goin'!"

"Now!" Boss plunked the receiver down on the desk, ignoring the frustrated cursing from the other end of the line, and got up to chase his brother-in-law out of the office. He stomped back to his desk and plopped into his seat. The old wooden chair creaked alarmingly under his weight, but he ignored it, picking up the phone again. "Okay, you got me now!" he said. "I finally chased that half-wit sheriff out of my—"

"Dammit, Hogg, shut up and listen to me!" Finney snapped. "Listen, we've got a problem…Brock knows."

Boss' cigar drooped a bit and his jovial face was covered in a look of mild alarm. "He 'knows'? Well, whattaya mean, he knows?"

"What the hell do you think I mean? I mean he knows all about what I've been doing for you! I don't know how he figured it out, but he did. You've got trouble."

"Me? I've got trouble? Well, what about you? You're in this just as deep as I am!" Boss shot back.

"Oh, no, I'm not. He's mad as hell at me, but I've paid him back what I owe him—and even though he'd never admit it, he needs me. But I had to tell him about you, so—"

"What? You low-down, dirty fink!" Boss pounded his fist on his desk. "Finney, I oughta—"

"Hey, I don't care what you say. Brock cut my business in half, but I've still got my head. But you and I are done, you got it, Hogg? You should be thanking me. At least I bothered to warn you."

Boss tried to sound casual, but he wasn't completely successful. "Warn me? About what?"

"Brock's coming to see you."

Boss' ruddy face grew a few shades paler. "C-comin' to see me? When?"

"I don't know, but if I were you, I'd have some cold, hard cash on hand. And get ready to do some serious groveling."

"Finney—!"

"I'm done talking. Don't bother calling me again, I've changed the number. Good luck, Hogg. You're gonna need it."

"Hey!..."

But the only sound coming from the receiver was a loud click and dead silence. Boss sat at his desk, his broad forehead marred by deep furrows as an uncharacteristically troubled frown creased his face. His cigar smoldered forgotten in his ashtray as he sat and tried to think what in the world he should do next.

xxxxxx

"Well, cousin, I think we did pretty good for ourselves!" Bo said with a smile. "Didn't take us hardly no time to fix old man Maxwell's roof."

"I was glad we could take care of it for him," Luke answered. "He was so nice to us when we were kids…Man like that shouldn't have to live with a leaky house." The two cousins cruised along in companionable silence for a moment or two when Luke suddenly groaned aloud and let his head fall back against the seat.

Bo gave him a sideways look. "What?"

"Doggonnit!"

"Luke, what?"

"I left my hammer back at Maxwell's place."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Luke shook his head ruefully. "I realized I put it down when we went to take his ladder back and I don't think I picked it up again."

"You're gettin' forgetful in your old age, are you?" Bo said with a grin.

"Oh, you're a laugh a minute." Luke turned around, rising up on his knees to lean into the back seat. He pulled the toolbox toward him and started rummaging through it. "Yeah, it's gone."

"You wanna go back and get it?"

"Not really, but I think we'd better. I'm always missing that thing when I need it."

"Okay. Hold on, we'll be there before you know it." Bo glanced ahead to make sure there were no cars in the road before he swung the General in a U-turn—and winced when he saw a familiar shape bearing down on them. "Luke, you better sit down fast! Rosco's headed right for us."

Luke immediately swiveled around and dropped into his seat just as Rosco's patrol car sped by them, heading in the opposite direction. "You think he saw me?"

Bo glanced in the rearview mirror. "Um…don't look like it…" The patrol car did a sudden spin in the road and turned around, the all-too-familiar wail of the siren drifting on the breeze. "Nope. I take it back. It looks like it. He's feelin' pretty speedy, today…he don't usually get a runnin' start like that."

"So you waitin' for him to ride up our tailpipe or something?" Luke asked with a smirk.

Bo laughed. "Heck no. Hold on, cuz." He hit the horn, and a loud blast of "Dixie" rattled the trees as the General took off. A plume of dust hovered above the ground as the tires flew over the unpaved road.

"All right, you Dukes!" Rosco's voice squawked over the CB. "This is Sheriff Roscoooo P. Coltrane! Pull it over!"

"Not a chance, Rosco!" Bo said cheerily. "You didn't say 'please'."

"I'm the law! I don't gotta say 'please'!"

Bo laughed. "Yeah, well, I'm a Duke—I don't gotta pull over!"

Back in his car, Rosco sputtered in disbelief. "Ooh! Now, did you hear that, Flash? That's just like a Duke!...always thinkin' they're above the law! But we'll get 'em today, Velvet Ears! We're gonna cuff 'em and stuff 'em! Now it's time for what we call in the police force: hot pursuit! Oh, I love this." In the passenger seat, Flash yawned lazily and rolled her eyes.

Luke glanced behind them to watch Rosco's flashing, wailing patrol car surge forward. "Ooo-wee! Looks like you really made him mad this time, Bo! I think he thinks he's gonna catch ya."

"Hate to disappoint him. Hold on and pay attention, now…I'm gonna give you a lesson in sheriff-shakin'."

The two cars sped across the empty countryside, engines roaring as they raced over hills and around curves. Rosco was making an impressive effort to keep up, but his patrol car didn't stand a chance against the General and he dropped farther and farther behind. Bo spun the wheel to the right and the General swerved off the road, cutting across an open field.

"You headin' for Fishback Creek?" Luke asked.

"You guessed it!" Bo flashed him a cocky grin. The General's tires hummed over the uneven turf as Bo steered the car up an incline. There was a moment of thrilling free-fall as the car arced across the creek bed, abruptly broken by a sharp lurch when it landed on the other side. Luke spared a quick glance behind. He saw Rosco's car barreling toward the creek, then suddenly screech to a halt in a cloud of dust as the sheriff slammed on the brakes to avoid going over the jump. He laughed, picturing Rosco swearing to himself as he backed his car up and gunned the engine, moving parallel to the creek in search of a bridge. The patrol car disappeared from view when the General turned onto the road again, heading back the way they had come.

"Well, cousin, looks like we'll be able to go back and get your hammer," Bo observed. "Did you pay attention?"

"Hey, who taught who how to drive? 'Cause last I remember, wasn't so long ago you were learnin' from me."Luke smacked his snickering cousin on the shoulder before slouching back in his seat. He took a deep breath of the fresh air rushing through the open windows, letting his eyes drift over the empty countryside as the General whizzed along.

Luke suddenly tensed as he saw a flash of movement from the side of the road. "Bo, watch it!"

"I see it!" Bo slammed on the brakes and swerved sharply to the right to avoid the dog that had just run out into the path of the General Lee. Too late, he realized he was too close to the edge of the road and the bright orange car fishtailed before sliding into the ditch and coming to rest with a bone-jarring crunch.

"Whoa…" Bo shook his head and cut the engine. "Luke, you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Luke rubbed the back of his neck, looking back in alarm as the sound of a siren reached his ears. "Dang, he's faster than usual today. We gotta burn rubber. Can you get us out?"

Bo started the car again and jammed it into reverse. He stepped on the gas, but immediately he knew something was wrong. He poked his head out of the window and saw the left rear tire spinning idly in the air, not even close to touching the ground. "I think we're stuck," he said. "Luke, you better get out and push!"

His cousin was already halfway out the window before Bo had finished speaking. He pressed the gas pedal again as Luke leaned all his weight against the grill, but the vehicle refused to budge.

Luke finally shook his head and stepped away. "Nah, cut it out, Bo. It ain't no use. We're stuck but good."

Bo smacked the steering wheel in irritation. "Dang it!" He glanced out his window and was surprised to see that the dog was still there. He had expected it to run away, but it was sitting next to the car, head tilted to one side as it observed them with alert curiosity. Bo gave it an exasperated scowl. "This is all your fault, you know. Didn't nobody ever tell you to look for cars before crossin' the road?"

He cut the engine and climbed out of the car to survey the damage just as Rosco's car zoomed up and screeched to a halt. "All right, you Dukes! Freeeeeze!" Rosco crowed, bouncing out of the squad car.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Does it look like we're goin' anywhere, Rosco?"

"Ghu-well, no…but freeze anyway! You boys're slipprier than a greased eel and I ain't lettin' you get away this time! I'm takin' you in!"

Bo put his hands on his hips. "What for?"

Rosco ticked off the charges on his fingers. "For speedin', reckless drivin', evadin' an officer of the law, unsafe conduct in a moving vehicle—shame on you, Luke!—property damages—"

"Whoa, whoa, what property?" Luke asked.

Rosco pointed to the bushes that had been crunched over by the General. "You purty much tore up those shrubs there."

"It's in the middle of nowhere!"

"It's the property of nature."

Bo shot his cousin a baffled glance. "Is he serious?"

"I think he is."

"It's also the property of Boss Hogg!" Rosco finished triumphantly. "Seein' as he is in charge of Hazzard County."

"Aw, come on—" Bo started to wheedle, but a deafening bay from the squad car cut him off. Rosco immediately turned around and darted back, leaning in the window.

"Oh, Flash, honey, Daddy's workin' now. Just wait a few more minutes, Velvet Ears, and I'll—" Flash interrupted him with another loud woof. "They did what?" Rosco spun around and stalked back toward the Dukes, hands on his hips. "All right, I got another charge against you Dukes! You nearly killed that fine citizen over there!" He pointed to the dusty yellow dog sitting next to the General.

Bo and Luke exchanged an incredulous look. "Aw, Rosco—" Luke began.

"Ijit! No more!" Rosco raised his hands in protest. "Flash told me herself."

Bo groaned and smacked his forehead with his palm. Rosco could be easily confused and talked out of things. When it came to Flash, however, her word was law and nothing could change the sheriff's mind. Rosco pulled his gun out, immediately making the Duke boys nervous. "All right, hands on the car, and no funny business! I'm serious, now!" Rosco snapped.

"Will you put that pea-shooter away? No tellin' if that thing will go off," Luke said. He made a disgusted face as the sheriff patted him down. "Rosco! We ain't allowed to have guns!"

"That don't matter! I don't trust you Dukes. You're harder to catch than a mud wrestler on bath day." Finished with his inspection, he pulled out his handcuffs and locked the boys' hands together. "Cuffed!" he announced with a grin. He pointed at his squad car. "And now, it's time to stuff!"

"Come on, Rosco—"

"Bo Duke, I said 'stuff' and I meant 'stuff'!" He gave the boys a shove, jostling them forward. "Get goin'! You know where to sit!"

With another exasperated sigh, the boys trudged over to the car and climbed inside. Rosco scuttled around to the front, chuckling excitedly to himself as he started the engine. Flash poked her long face into the backseat and surveyed the boys with her liquid brown eyes.

Bo made a face. "What was that all about, Flash?" he asked. "I thought you liked us." Flash gave him a wide yawn and curled up on the front seat again.

"It's Thursday," Luke said. "Lately it seems like we just ain't got the hang of Thursdays." Bo just sighed, casting another regretful look back at the General Lee as they drove away. He saw the dog still sitting next to the car, staring curiously after them as they disappeared down the road.

Ol' Bo and Luke don't seem too worried, do they? But I bet if they knew what kind of mood Boss Hogg was in, they wouldn't be takin' this so easy.