After a long day of work, my Father will come home and shut himself away in his study. He gives specific orders that he must not be bothered unless it's an emergency. Anyone who does not oblige by this rule is punished.
Myself included.
To be perfectly honest, the last time I saw my Father was maybe a year or two ago.
At the funeral of my Mother and my younger sister.
It's a long and sad story that perhaps I will tell another time.
You would think that after such a tragedy, Father and I would have grown closer, being that we are the only family we have left, but no. It is my belief that he never truly loved me anyways, and so he distanced himself so as not to make it obvious. Or maybe he is just really disappointed that it wasn't me in the car with Mother instead of my sister, and so to make sure he doesn't do anything rash, he locks himself away. I really don't know what to say about him. He is a hard man, made of stone. Or, no actually—a stone is probably more human that Father.
That's…actually kind of funny. I might have laughed out loud at my own joke if not for the situation I'm in.
"I always knew you were stupid." Father tells me. "You were born with that unsightly glazed over look in your eyes. I should have known then."
He is scolding me for telling him that I was assaulted today at school. I would think that this was considered an emergency of some sort, or at least a cause for concern. But my father is not a typical father, and so he has an opposite reaction of what I expected. Actually, I didn't know what to expect seeing as how I don't even know him very well.
Father narrows his eyes coldly at me and I can see the muscles in his jaw line stiffen. "You were actually stupid enough to let this happen to you." He says. "As if I don't have enough on my mind, you have to bring this bullshit to me." Father leans back in his chair and gives me a disdainful look. "Alright fine, let's say it's serious. What do you expect me to do?"
I hesitate before opening my mouth some, but he speaks before any sound can come out.
"It was a rhetorical question, Hinata. I hope you didn't really expect me to do anything. I'm not going to cause a scene at the school just because you were dumb enough to let this happen in the first place. If anything, you will finally act like a Hyuuga. This will not affect you, and you will move on."
Practically two years without so much as a greeting from him, and this is all he has to say, especially to this? I'm his fucking daughter for Christ's Sake.
"What is wrong with you?" I demand. There is no way I am just going to lay down and take his bullshit, I don't care what he says. "Someone violated your daughter! Why aren't you furious?"
Father stands up from his chair is walking around his large office desk to come stand parallel to me. I can actually feel the raw hatred emanating from his body as he glares at me. "Of course I'm mad. You were too stupid to keep your legs closed and now you aren't even fit to marry anyone credible! I'm absolutely fuming!"
"Too stupid to keep my legs closed? Are you serious, Father? I didn't ask to be shoved into a broom closet and violated! I didn't ask to be humiliated like that! What sort of man are you that you would think something like that about your own flesh and blood?"
"I don't need your excuses, you little tramp." His words were steely and cold, like a pipe.
I sucked in my breath. "If Mother were here, she would believe me! She would be upset, and try to do something about it! I can guarantee that you wouldn't act this way if it had been Hanabi—"
He moved so fast that I wasn't even aware of his fist until it slammed into my cheek and I was knocked to the floor.
Through streaming tears, I look back up at the man I call Father with absolute terror coursing through my being.
He stands over me, smug and spiteful, hands still balled into fists. "Get out of my sight," He tells me, and within seconds I am scurrying out of his study, back down the hall to my room, where I slam the door behind me before falling to my knees on the floor and sobbing my heart out.
Oh Mother, if only you could see me now.
Dragging myself up on to my bed, I catch my reflection in the mirror. The side of my face is swollen and varying in shades of opaque purple, my lip is cut and there is a trail of blood streaming down my chin and neck. My clothes, school uniform, ripped and torn from fighting off my assailant earlier today, only to lose the battle in the end.
And my hair. It's all over the place. I look like a monster.
Maybe I am one. A monster.
Screaming, I knock the mirror to the floor and it shatters into several jagged pieces.
Realization dawns on me slowly and I move to clean up the mess. The smaller pieces scratch my fingers, and before long, an idea forms in my head. I pick up one of the larger pieces and with trembling finger's, I drag it across my wrist.
In the very first few seconds, I don't feel anything. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty calm. Everything is quite and loud at the same time. And then, the stinging pain of the cut sets in and I can't help but to hiss. With finger's still trembling, I switch the piece of broken mirror to my other hand, and with it I cut my other wrist. I feel every stinging painful moment of that one.
Satisfied with myself, I toss the reflecting piece of glass somewhere, uncaring off its fate. I have already chosen mine. Nothing else matters now.
A smile splayed on my lips, I stand up on my bed and then fall backwards. Time is moving so slowly and everything goes black before I even land on the mattress.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!
LAS says:
Okay a few things: I know this is a little more angsty then what I usually do, but I've fooled with this story idea off and on for the pass couple of years, and I figured it was just about time I finally get it out of my head. Who knew it'd end up being for Naruto?
Yes, Hinata is a little, uh, depressed in this story, but as you read on, you will understand things a lot better. Hopefully, I will be super good about updating this one :D (lol, one can only dream...)
Please review, and ifyou have anymore questions, please feel free to send me a message. Or just, you know, Review. (Actually, you should review anyways because it's a super nice thing to do and it makes me happy ;3)
Toodles~
--LAS