Title:
Hero
Authors: Gillian Taylor
Rating:
G
Characters: Ninth Doctor
Summary: "The
real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest
coward like everybody else" – Umberto Eco
Spoilers:
Parting of the Ways
Disclaimer: Don't own them. I just like
playing with them...a lot.
Archive: Sure, just let me
know.
A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta WMR, And, of course, thanks to Dave7, without whose nagging this fic might've never been posted. Follow the link below to my LJ.
"Hero"
by Gillian Taylor
She burns.
In his mind, she's a phoenix. Living and dying in the same moment. It's oddly appropriate considering that once, such a short – an eternity – time ago, he thought that she was dead. Burned to ashes by the Anne-droid. Consumed by fire. Gone.
Another fragile human life taken before its time.
Yet she stands before him. Despite his sending her home, keeping her safe. Or, perhaps, it's in spite of that fact. He tried. Rassilon knows he tried to save her. To protect her. Though, in reality, he knows that it was just to protect himself.
He could do – or thought he could do – what he had to if only she was safe. No Delta Wave for Rose, just a fantastic life. It was another example of the best laid plans of mice and Time Lords. A stubborn, brave, brilliant ape would always muck it up somehow.
And now, instead of him saving her, she's saving him. A phoenix. His phoenix. And he can't let her do this.
It's his responsibility. A responsibility that he shirked in favour of cowardice. Not now. Not while she's the one in danger. He never wanted to do that again. Never wanted to be responsible for the death of another planet, another species, in the fight against the Daleks.
She takes the choice from him. Despite his decision to be a coward, despite not pushing that lever, despite all that and more. She saves him. Stops the Daleks, ends the Time War.
It's killing her. Saving him is killing her and he can't allow that. She can't let go and that's okay. He knows why. It's a heady feeling to know all those possibilities and now, now he can only see one way where she will survive.
He knows that he can't let her do this. Not any more.
She complains that her head is killing her and he knows. Oh, he knows, because his memories kill him a little more each day as much as the new ones heal him. That's why this is worth it. This choice.
He gives in just once to let himself touch fire. To let himself burn again, become the phoenix in her stead. So he kisses her and now it's his turn.
He feels the fire lick inside him, the familiar tingle that heralds a regeneration. If it was Rose, this fire would kill. She wouldn't rise again but he will. And it's worth it.
He burns.
From the ashes of this life, he'll live again. A phoenix in truth. Because, this time, he burns for the best reason of all.
For her.
THE END