A/N: This is my first time even attempting a Self-Insert, and I have no idea how it's even going to turn out. But hopefully it'll be good enough to capture your interests.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mass Effect series, if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it...

A/N*: I've re-written the first two chapters since I think they're nowhere near up to standards. If you've already read them, read them again. I assure you it's much better :P

I'll re-write the third soon.

PROLOGUE

21st December 2012

England

21:00 GMT

The world was supposed to end today.

It'd been tense. The whole situation had me on edge. I'd gotten startled at tremors caused by everyday things like the garbage truck or the washing machine. Deep inside I knew it was all bullshit, but there's always this part of you that remains apprehensive of the 'what ifs' in life, you know?

So when everyone else I knew were out partying their supposedly last day away, I was sitting in front of two TVs. I'd hefted the one from my room downstairs, and tuned into the local news channel, in case of any earth-shattering disasters and the like. The other was showing the pause screen of Mass Effect 3, since the batteries in my Xbox controller had just run out of juice. I sighed and began a fruitless search for them around the room. I swear those things just lay around everywhere when you don't need them, but when you do, they disappear.

I'd just been playing a bit of multi-player, hoarding the credits in an attempt to save up for the DLCs that had just been leaked. An even more powerful Krogan with a hammer? A Geth Prime with sync kills? Oh yes, this DLC had prolonged the game's life just a bit longer. But considering this was the final addition to trilogy, I was a bit sad. I loved the franchise and to see its story finally come to an end was creating some weird emotions. I didn't like endings.

I shook my head at the fact I was more concerned over a fictional universe rather than my own, and decided to take desperate measures on my battery situation. It was whilst stealing some from the TV remote that I happened to glance outside. Now you see, in Britain, we usually have grey skies. Occasionally blue.

Today, the sky was fucking red.

A startling mixture of dark burgundy and swirling persimmons. The sun shone low, a blinding light on the horizon. There were auroras in the sky too, tinted light pink. Hard to see against the red sky, but they were there. The moon seemed bigger, despite the fact it was midday. Oh, and some huge black thing too. It was vaguely hexagonal, with eight spikes protruding out of the middle. Looked like some sort of beetle. It was coming down fast.

So that's how it was going to be, an alien invasion. Maybe the Mayans were right after all.

I grabbed my coat and the keys to my dad's Audi off the wall, and opened the front door. He was in work. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me using his car to save my life. But when I step outside, clad in three layers of clothing like a sensible British person, a wave of blistering heat hits me. It was as if I'd been teleported to the middle of the African savannah. The air was incredibly dry too, and full of static electricity. My hair and the fur on the coat went wild.

Red lightning began cascading over the black object in the sky. As the thing hit the ground, the lighting surrounding it dissipated and began to sweep towards me like the shock-wave of a nuclear bomb.

I wasn't going to survive a lighting storm in a car. I took my coat off as I turn around to head back inside. Fiddling with the keys, I see out of the corner of my eye that there was a purple haze surrounding me. A light, wispy fog of violet gas. It suddenly flashed.

~/~

~/~

I woke up groggily. Never have I experienced such a bad headache in my life. I squeezed the sides of my head in an attempt to make the pain stop, and it happened to numb the pain slightly. Opening my eyes is agonizing however, and the brightness hurts.

The only thing I notice is how white the ceiling is and how clean the floor is. This isn't my room.

Then slowly, as if a computer is rebooting itself part by part, I regain my bodily functions. The smell of a hospital assaults my nose. It's as if every medical building in the world uses the same disinfectant. Some stupid part of me wants to have a share in whatever brand of disinfectant the government has ordered for use. I can hear the whirring of equipment, but nothing else. My arms and legs feel fine. I can breathe perfectly. Why am I in a hospital?

And is the alien invasion over?

The world didn't end then. Such an anti-climax. But what the hell happened? I remember walking outside, and then a…flash of purple? Did I get knocked out by a flash-bang grenade or something? What? It had to be. It didn't make any sense. Maybe it was the red lightning.

So you'd understand perfectly, that I passed out again when a fucking Salarian in a lab-coat entered the room.